I held Cameron in my arms, slowly rocking him back and forth.

His bright green eyes laced with gold ringlets. He almost looked like a doll. His big bright eyes gracing his pale skin with his pale brown hair... He's perfect.

"Hey babe..." He grabbed my hips from behind and gently kissed my neck up and down. Felling his soft lips across my skin. It made me smile.

"How was your day?" I asked him calmly. "Good now that I have you both with me."

I smiled as I turned my head to kiss his lips gently.

I looked back down at Cameron and he was asleep in my arms. Out like a light. His tiny snores filled some of the comfortable silence in the room.

I just smiled.

"What are you smiling for princess?"

"I'm just so happy. It almost feels like a dream..." I set Cameron down in his crib next to my bed.

The pink room wasn't ideal for him, but I felt more comfortable for him to be in my little space room. It was more comforting, especially for a child.

I turned around to face Daniel. I put my hands against his chest and leaned my ear against his chest, hearing his pounding heart. It was soothing. I closed my eyes and listened as he wrapped his arms around mine, holding me too his chest.

He kissed the top of my forehead, letting his lips linger a bit, making me smile. "That's because it is a dream baby girl..."

I opened my eyes and furrowed my brows. "What do you mean?"

"You know I'm not really here baby..." I looked up into his eyes and saw the sorrow in them.

"B-but you're right here..." I said with tears welling in my eyes.

"I know baby, I know..." He pulled my head to his chest and kissed my head. Tears slipping down my face and staining his shirt.

"He's beautiful baby... He's prefect. Just like you...." He chuckled lightly. I could hear the hurt in his voice.

"You're doing an amazing job raising him. I'm glad you have Abby and Lily with you." I looked up at him, tears flooding my vision.

"They aren't here.... You are... We've been raising him!" I said with hurt in my voice, trying not to raise my voice. I didn't want to wake Cameron.

"Oh baby girl..." He said with a sad face before kissing me gently. Slowly pulling away to kiss my tears away.

"we've been raising him..." I said quietly, trying to prove to myself that he's here.

"I love you baby girl... Just know I'm watching. I am always going to be here." He lifted my chin before placing a few of his finger's on my chest, right over my heart. Telling me he'd always be in my heart... instead of right in front of me. "I love you... So much..." he let a tear slip down his face, and I felt tears down my face.

I'm not ready for him to leave...

"I love you t-"

"It's time to wake up baby..." He said with a painful smile.

I woke up to Abby shaking me "CARLY!" she shook my shoulder.

I looked at her with wide eyes. Staring at her for a few seconds after she shook me.

Gently, I took my hands to my cheek, I felt my face and my hands were wet after. Tears.

I didn't say anything to Abby. I looked just a bit to the side of her to see a very concerned Lily. both of them looking at me with worry filled faces.

I broke. I didn't say a word before I started to cry, feeling the hot sting along my face and eyes. Both of them pulling me into a hug.

I felt my world crash around me as my reality smacked me in the face, leaving my painful imagination to leave me behind.

None of us dared to speak a word.

I laid awake on my back, Jay sleeping soundly as I pulled him into my side. I felt the weight of everything that's happened sit on me with all of its weight. Almost like I couldn't breath, but nothing was stopping me from doing so.

The weight of the truth was heavy. Something I didn't want to deal with. Something I haven't dealt with these past few months.

I've used the things around me almost like a distraction from thinking. I feel bad, but it's kept me from going insane.

But it's reaching its end. It's no longer going to be working.

I haven't been able to sleep, and it's making me think. Something I don't want to do. Because I know my mind will wander to what I've been trying to ignore.

I shook my head and forced my eyes shut, trying to shut out those thoughts.

"Mmm... Trevor?" Jay laid on my chest and started to lift his head.

"Shhhh, baby go back to sleep." He turned his head to look at me while most of his body was still laying down. He did a 180 with his head just to look me in the eye. He gave me a worried glare.

"What's wrong."

I paused for a second. "Just thinking baby. Just thinking."

"Trevor. Your 'thinking' is shaking the bed." I gave him a side glare. Not really mad because I knew he was right.

"Sorry baby." I kissed his forehead and he laid back down on my chest.

His head was looking away from my face, leaving him to comfortably lay half across me.

I ran my hands through his hair and it felt slightly nostalgic. His soft hair ran through my fingers and I felt at home.

"What's wrong babe..." Jay asked in a small voice.

"Nothing baby." I said in short. Continuing with his hair.

"Trevor Allen Bryant I swear to god I'll do it." My eyes widened. The full name.... and what the hell is he talking about?!?!

"Do what babe?" I smirked.

"Oh you know..." he turned his head to look at me.

With a devilish smirk across his face, he simulated licking... uh... that. Slowly curling his tongue, before biting his teeth with a soft chomp sound.

It made me hurt just thinking about it.

"Alright, no biting my dick off...." he did a small chuckle before laying back on my chest. "I'm just thinking about Daniel..."

The room fell silent. I figured Jay was thinking how to respond and I don't blame him.

I ran my fingers through his hair once again, making sure to slightly rub his scalp. "I miss him too...." Jay said with a small voice. I heard his voice crack a bit, knowing he might cry.

"Come here baby boy." I held my arms out to him and he flipped around to lay on top of me, holding himself in as much of a ball as he could while slightly straddling me.

I heard him sniffle a bit before he wrapped his arms around my neck.

"I'm sorry baby...." I said not really knowing why. Just not really knowing what to say. Not knowing how to comfort him when we both haven't talked about Daniels death. We've both been avoiding it. Like it isn't real... like it never happened.

"I miss him Trevor...."

"I miss him too baby boy... I miss him too." We both held back our tears as it both started to hit us. Because it was hitting me like a truck. Carly did her mourning, but we never did. Attempting to avoid it, keep ourselves distracted.

I heard him take deep breaths, attempting to hold back his tears.

He sniffled before looking back up at me. "Can we go out, I don't want to think about this..."

I nodded my head before running my hand down his hair, to the back of his softly shaved head, and around to his cheek.

I held my hand there, cupping his face in my hand.

"Where do you want to go?" I side smiled, attempting to look a bit happier.

"Coffee?" He said lightly.

"You hate coffee Jay." I chuckled.

"Yeah? And? They sell other things." He smirked at me, rubbing away the last of his tears.

"Of course." I smiled and kissed his forehead as I sat up. He giggled a bit, wrapping his arms around my neck before kissing me softly.

"Now take me on a date mister." He smirked at me.

"I thought it was Daddy? Did I just get demoted?" I said in a sarcastically hurt tone.

"Trevor. We aren't even dating yet, mister 'I wanna take things slow'. My dude, I am horny and want your dick up my ass, so until that happens, you are now officially 'dude'." I glared at him with a fake smile on my face.

"How hurtful." I shook my head chuckling.

He laughed at me and got off my lap.

Every step he took, waving his ass around before heading into my closet to change. This man will be the death of me.

I chuckled before getting up and walking to the closet too. I walked in to Jay already having every bottom layer off, and his shirt on his elbows, basically off.

I stopped in my tracks and stared him up and down.

"OUT!" Jay threw his shirt at me.

"Alight alright alright..." I chuckled leaving him be.

Jaylynn:

I chuckled as he left me in the closet alone again.

It still makes me sad when I know we still aren't dating. Knowing that he REALLY wants to take things slow. He's taken me on dates, hung out with me, and did all the little things we didn't do all too often. He's kept his promise. All accept the actual dating title.

We went out to the movies a few times, went out while babysitting Cameron, which we did quite often.... We held hands while at a coffee shop. All the cute things I wish I had gotten in my other relationship.

I shook my head with a side smile.

I grabbed one of Trevor's black long sleeves, tight on him but mostly loose on me. It had a silky type feel, but it was defiantly for working out. Grabbing my white tennis skirt from out of my bag, I slipped that on. The tips of the skirt barely peaked through under the shirt.

I looked at myself in the full length mirror sitting near the doorway of the closet, examining myself. It was missing some things.

I pulled out my black knee high socks with two white stripes, my choker, and my black leather combat boots. I was feeling the darker esthetic today. Made me feel powerful.

I slowly put on everything, slowly pulling it together. I smiled at myself in the mirror, looking myself up and down.

"You ready-?" Trevor stood in the doorway and looked me up and down, biting his lip slightly.

"Yeah, now it's your turn mister. Get dressed." I tapped his shoulder twice, like a bro tap. I just giggled and he looked at me with his mouth agape. "Close your mouth, you'll catch fly's." I giggled.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head before laughing and entering his closet.

a few minutes later he comes out in a black button up, unbuttoned almost halfway, black ripped skinny jeans, and his black combat boots.

"Black esthetic today it is then" I giggled before grabbing his hand and walking out of his bedroom.

He walked with me, and before I knew it, we were out the door, and now going on a coffee date.

All three of us sat on the couch and all held hot mugs of our drink of choice.

I had hot chocolate along with Lily, and Abby had a spiked coffee.

"He was there. He felt so real..."

I talked to them without looking at either of them to the side of me. I sighed while I drank my hot chocolate. I wasn't sad anymore, just drained. It felt to real to be a dream...

"I know..." Abby tried to consul me by putting her hand on my knee as I sat crisscrossed.

I just felt drained of any progress I had made to try and move on. Like I was stopped and told to turn back.

2 steps forward... 1 step back.

It may have made me take multiple steps back in any progress I made for the moment, but I know that that message from him will somehow help push me forward one day.

I leaned my head against Abby's shoulder and just sat there, staring at nothing. Lilly set her hand on my thigh and just rubbed lightly back and forth, giving me some comfort.

I felt a little more at peace than I did this morning.

But in a way, Daniel showing up in my dream, gave me a push forward to make myself happier.

Jaylynn:

Trevor and I drove by one of the coffee stands and waited patiently in line to order. I held onto his hand, smiling as I looked at out hands laced together.

Once the car in front of us pulled away, we pulled up ready to order. I smiled as I waited for the barista to take our order.

They had silver hair and many tattoos. Short and had a cute face with some purposely smudged eyeliner.

"Hey there what can I get you-.... Hello again officer." They smirked at Trevor as they leaned on their elbows.

Who the hell is this...

XXX

remember this bish? hehe

Hope you liked the new chapter! See y'all soon!