Rushing.

Rushing Carly out of the room as she screamed in pain. "Hang in there, just a little bit longer!"

"I CANT DO IT!!! I NEED HIM!!!" She screamed.

I couldn't say anything. Because I knew If I was in her shoes, I couldn't do it either.

"I'm right here by your side. Just hold on, we are almost there." I held her hand while the nurses wheeled her into the delivery room.

"I'm sorry, only the husband is allowed in." One of the nurses stopped me at the door.

"NO! HES COMING HERE. MINES DEAD RIGHT NOW AND HES THE CLOSEST THING I'VE GOT. LET HIM IN OR THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY!"

What looked to be like a new nurse stood frozen in shock as Carly yelled at her. She calmly let me through while she tried to hold back tears.

"I know your just doing your job, it's been a rough day. I apologize." I lightly touched the nurses shoulder and she nodded. I headed straight for Carly at her bedside and held her hand tightly.

I was still mad at Trevor. I'm pretty sure he was still back in the waiting room.

I couldn't even think about it because thinking about him just made me mad. I don't even understand why I'm mad... I know I'm overreacting, but... this was different.

"Don't worry babe, I've got you..." I held Carly's hand tightly as she sat on the hospital bed.

"I don't think I can do this.... not without Daniel...." the anger over her face washed away. Her face now flooded with sadness. Tears welling up in her eyes.

"I'm here babe.... I'm here...." tears streamed down her face as the doctors got ready.

She squeezed my hand with all her might. I was in pain, but I knew she was in worse pain. So I put up with it.

"Alright ma'am. Are you ready to push?" Carly shook her head 'no' with tears streaming down her face.

"I can't do it without him...." Carly cried.

"Please Carly, you have to.... for us..." I tried to ease her pain. "We will talk about this later but right now the baby is coming...."

Carly took some deep breaths, tears running down her face.

"Alright ma'am. On the count of three."

"One."

"Two."

"THREE!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Carly's scream echoed through the hallway.

My leg shook up and down as I sat in the hallway chair. My world was crashing around me.

Carly's screams echoed through my head, playing on loop.

It felt like hours.

Screaming, silence, screaming.

A never ending loop playing through the halls and my head.

My anxiety was peaked. And it wasn't calming down any time soon.

"Just one more push!" I coaxed Carly.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGG"

*baby crying* everything calmed down as soon as those sounds echoed through the room.

I never thought a babies cry would be like a melody to my ear.

"You did It babe..." I smiled to Carly as she looked away from me, crying.

"It's a beautiful baby boy." The doctors came over to Carly. "Would you like to hold him?" Carly shook her head no.

The doctor nodded and took the baby over to be cleaned and treated.

"What's wrong Carly...?" I asked quietly as soon as the room fell silent.

"I can't do it... I can't do it alone Jay... I need him..." she cried. Tears streaming down her face.

"You're not alone Carly. You have me, Trevor, Abby, lily... you have all of us. We are here for you." She cried as she grabbed my shirt and dug her face into my chest.

I held her close to my chest, letting her cry as tears started to well in my eyes.

"Are you going to keep him?" Carly's tears didn't stop. But she was quieter than before.

"I don't know Jay... I don't know if I can do it... I'm afraid..." I smiled through my tears and looked her in the eyes.

"You can do this babe. We are all here for you. But right now, you need to give that child a chance. And if you change your mind, I wouldn't mind taking care of him." Carly smiled and pulled me into a hug.

"Thank you Jay... I love you. I love you so much...." she smiled into my shoulder, tears dripping on my skin.

"I love you too babe..."

The room fell silent before the doctors came in. Holding the baby wrapped up inside it's baby blue blanket.

"Would you like to hold him now?" The doctor asked Carly. She looked and me and I nodded.

She looked back over at the doctor and nodded. Holding out her hands for the baby.

She held the small baby in her arms, looking into the babies eyes.

The small eyes pierced through my heart. His eyes open, and looking at me. His bright green eyes pierced through my heart.

I smiled lightly as I looked down at the small child.

"What are you gonna name him?" I asked Carly quietly.

"Cameron.... Cameron Daniel Shepherd...." a tear slipped from Carly's face, landing on the small blue blanket.

"Good choice babe... good choice."

Me and Carly just looked at Cameron as he soon slept in her arms.

It was peaceful. Like life paused.

This was my view.

"Miss, there is a visitor outside. Would you like him to come in?" Carly looked at the doctor, then back at me.

"He can come in. I'm going to grab some food in the cafeteria...." Carly nodded and the doctor let Trevor in.

I passed by him without looking. I knew I would cry if I did.

I knew he stopped as soon as I walked past. I felt his eyes on me as I walked away.

I knew I was being petty, but I couldn't look at him. I felt something I didn't want to be feeling when I looked at him.

So I just continued to walk by him letting his eyes follow me.

I watched as he walked away. Something felt wrong, but I didn't know why....

I had to have done something to make him this way.

I wanted to follow him so badly, but I knew that would only make it worse. So I just let him be for the time being.

"Do you wanna hold him?" I looked over at Carly then the small baby in her arms.

"Yeah." I slowly walked over and took the small child out of her arms. "What's his name?"

"Cameron. Cameron Daniel Shepherd." I held the small child in my arms looking at a smaller version of Daniel and Carly.

The beauty Carly held, and the beautiful soul Daniel carried all out into one small body.

Cameron soon opened his eyes, showing the beautiful bright green orbs. They only seemed to sparkle when he looked up at me, including his gummy smile.

"He's beautiful Carly." She smiled at me.

"He looks like Daniel." She said with a sad smile.

"Are you keeping him?" She nodded her head.

"Jay talked me into it. And I'm glad he did. Because I got a baby Daniel." I smiled and looked back at the baby. "You know you need to talk to Jay right?"

I looked over at Carly. I nodded my head slightly. "I know. I just didn't want to upset him at all."

She nodded.

Handing her baby back into her arms, listening to the small baby coo at Carly.

She looked at me sternly and motioned her head towards the door. I bowed my head slightly and walked out the door.

Feeling like this sucked. I couldn't put my finger on why I felt like this.

I was angry? No.... maybe I didn't want to admit to myself how I actually felt.

Okay let's start from where this started. Okay okay. I walked away from Trevor and his ex, they were talking. Okay so far nothing bad. They hugged... oh no. Uh uh, no no.... UHGOLALENDKALDK I HATE MYSELFFFFF!

I mentally smacked myself. This wasn't a valid reason for me to be.... Jealous.

THEY HUGGED! HUGGED! H-U-G-G-E-D! It's not like they kissed or anything.... but somehow it felt like they did.

Pacing the hallway wasn't helping me, but it was killing time. Very slowly.

Turning around I ran into someone. Not again...

"I'm so sorry, I-" I looked up and it was Trevor. "Oh."

I looked down at the floor, down to my feet. I knew he wanted to talk but my anxiety was peaked. I couldn't do it.

"Can I have a word with you?" I didn't look up. I didn't say anything. "Jay." He said sternly.

Only nodding in response, I could tell he was a little annoyed.

"Let's go outside."

He walked in front of me and I slowly followed. The way he sounded made me nervous. I felt like something bad was going to happen. Almost like he was going to get rid of me. In the blink of an eye I would no longer be apart of his life because he... found someone better.

"Why are you avoiding me." I snapped out of it. His question sounded more like a statement, so I didn't know how to respond. "Jay."

"I'm not." I said simply and plainly. It wasn't a lie, completely. I wasn't avoiding HIM I was avoiding this conversation, which led me to just avoiding him.

"Jay...." he said softer and more calming tone. A tone that would leave me weak in the knees.

"I'm not avoiding you... I'm avoiding this conversation. So if we could not have it, that would be great." I said and tried to walk back inside.

Swiftly, he grabbed the inside of my elbow and held me in place.

"Why.... just tell me why you are 'avoiding this conversation' Jay." I sighed and stayed put.

"I don't want you to get rid of me. That's why."

I felt him loosen his grip on my arm, just letting his fingers graze my skin.

"So you are... getting rid of me. Alright." I laughed as the tears started to well in my eyes.I took a step towards the door.

He then grabbed my arm again.

"NO! LET GO OF ME!" I cried.

"Jay..."

"NO! YOU'RE MAKING THIS SO MUCH HARDER THAN IT NEEDS TO BE! IF YOU'RE THROWING ME TO THE CURB THEN AT LEAST LET ME HAVE THE DIGNITY TO LEAVE-" I closed my eyes as he kissed me. Grabbing my hips and pulling me closer, running his hand through my hair and pulling my head back and up to meet his.

He stopped. "Just let me go.... you're m-making it harder for me..." tears ran down my face as I choked on my words.

"Would you let me speak." I bit my lip to keep myself quiet as I bowed my head down to look at my feet.

"I'm not leaving you Jay. I don't know where you got that idea from, but I am NOT going to throw you to the curb." I looked up, shocked.

"But you... you looked so happy with... him.... I- I didn't want to ruin that...." I pushed on his chest and held him at a safe distance.

"No Jay. He doesn't make me happy. Not like you do." A tear fell down my face as I stared at his chest to avoid his gaze.

"Baby boy, look at me." He used his index finger to pull my chin up. I met his gaze and looked deep into his honey colored eyes.

"I love YOU Jay. Nothing and no one can change that." He swallowed a lump in his throat. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way...."

He moved my hand that touched his chest up and around his neck, making me stand on my toes. Naturally I put my other arm around his neck, gazing into his eyes. He pulled my hips closer, holding me against him. Every touch heating up. Where our skin touched burned into my skin like a photograph. I ached for his touch. I ached for him.

"I love you Jay." He whispered in my ear before pulling me into a soft kiss. His lips softly and passionately grazing mine as he held me close.

"Mine."

XXX

😂