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We basically sped to the hospital. Careful to avoid cops.

The whole way there, Carly sat still faced in the back seat.

When we finally made it to the hospital, we all quickly tried to make our way out of the truck. Trevor carrying Carly to the door.

I forgot I didn't have shoes on... and I wasn't in the most.... "appropriate" outfit ever. But Daniel was more important than worrying about that.

"We are looking for Daniel Shepherd!!!" Trevor called to the nurse at the front.

"Are you his family?" The Nurse asked.

"IM HIS FIANCÉE! WHERE IS HE!!" Carly called angrily at the Nurse.

(A/N she's just his girlfriend, she's just saying that because she thinks it'll get her more priority to see him.)

"Name?"

"Carly Mills." She sounded irritated.

After a few clicks on the computer, the nurse spoke up. "I'm sorry miss Mills. Daniel is in surgery. You can't go back there." The nurse kept a straight face, trying to remain calm.

"Can I at least know what happened?!" Trevor set Carly down and she held herself up on the counter.

Trevor motioned me to go get a wheelchair that was behind us.

I calmly walked to grab a wheelchair, with many people staring me up and down. Either from disgust, or like they were going to eat me.

I have never been more uncomfortable.

"Mr. Shepherd was in a car accident. A drunk driver hit the drivers side of his vehicle. That's all I know." I pulled behind Carly with a wheelchair.

The nurse looked a bit intimidated by Carly. I didn't blame her. This was a whole 'nother side of Carly that I have never seen before.

Carly stayed silent.

Trevor helped her into the wheelchair. She kept looking at her hands.

"You can wait in the private waiting room over there and we will come in there when we have updates on Daniel." The nurse put on a small smile as she pointed to the room in the hall.

"Thank you." Trevor said to her kindly.

He pushed Carly in the wheelchair as we all entered the small waiting room.

I closed the small door. Now. We play the waiting game.

XXX

Hours passed, Carly didn't move much. Just sat there and stared at the floor. Trevor's leg was bouncing up and down as he looked at the clock, and I just kept watching the two of them.

A few times we got up to get something to eat, but not much changed.

Food, sit, wait.

It was now 10pm. And we've been waiting for quiet a few hours. Just sitting in silence.

Everything was quiet except for the ticking of the clock.

Tik

Tok

Tik

Tok

Tik

Tok

The sound ringing through the room, the only sound echoing through the walls.

Slow breathing from Carly and heavy, anxious breathing from Trevor.

It was nerve racking.

I kept thinking about Daniel.

Everything we went through together.

He was the one that helped me survive the breakup. He was the one that took care of me when I slipped into an age regressed state.

He was there.

Everything seemed to stay at a standstill.

Time stopped.

And my nerves were at their peak.

The energy in the room was suffocating. The anxiety, the anger, the sadness, everything was choking me and I couldn't find a way to breath.

"I-I'm going to get some water..." I stood up, getting out of the chair. Not caring that I was in such a... revealing outfit.

"Jay, wait..." Trevor called, but I shut the waiting room door. I needed to get out of that room.

It was suffocating.

I walked down the hall of the hospital, not really going anywhere, just wondering.

Listening to the tears of loved ones, the cries of women giving birth, children crying next to their families.

The whole hospital was filled with sorrow.

I kept looking at the floor, watching my feet hit the ground.

I probably couldn't walk around barefoot, but I didn't feel like asking any of the staff if they had shoes in my size.

People around me payed little to no attention to me. They had their own problems.

I looked up for a split second before I crashed into someone, knocking myself to the floor.

"Ugh.... ouch..." I squinted my eyes in slight pain as my ass hit the tile floor.

"Are you okay?" I looked up to see a dark haired man. Big, but smaller than Trevor.

"Y-yeah... sorry, I wasn't paying attention." The man held out his hand for me. Helping me off the floor.

Once I was up, I rubbed my forehead with the palm of my hand.

"Are you sure you're alright? You don't look so good..." I nodded my head up and down and left to right.

"Not really, but physically I'm fine." I dropped my hands and played with the lacey bits at the end of my shirt.

"Hey, May's awake- uh... ᵂʰᵒ'ˢ ᵗʰⁱˢ?" A thin blond boy came up behind the black hair man.

"Sorry, I just... wasn't looking where I was going." The blond boy nodded in understanding.

"Jay, what's wrong, I-" I looked behind me at Trevor. He stood frozen. A deer in headlights look plastered on his face.

A look of fear.

"Uh, Trevor?" I turned around and grabbed his hand before standing at his side and looking at the pair that stood in front of us.

"You..." was all that came out of Trevor's mouth.

The black haired man stood in shock as well. Both of them standing still.

"T-Trevor...." the black haired man looked like he was about to cry.

Both me and the blond haired boy looked at each other in confusion. Not knowing what was going on at all.

I looked up at Trevor, and he looked mad. His free hand was balled in a fist, but tears peaked in his eyes. I could read him. Because all I saw was every emotion possible.

"Jay, please leave." Trevor held a steady voice.

"No, not if you're going to fight that guy." He took a deep breath.

"Jay, I care about you. A lot. Hell, I still fucking love you. But I need to talk with him. It's... important. I promise there will be no fight." I looked up at Trevor as he looked down to me.

"I trust you." I looked at the two in front of us, and the black haired man was shewing the blond haired man away as well.

They clearly had a past, and apparently neither of us should be involved.

I walked away and the blond man followed, standing on the other side of the hall with me. Far enough away that we could keep and eye on them, but not within earshot.

"You know you look familiar." The blond boy looked at me.

"You do too... weird." We both shrugged it off and just watched the situation unfold.

"Where were you...." I kept my eyes locked on the floor with my hands in my pockets.

"I never left.... well... sorta." His voice cracked.

"Well then why the hell did you disappear?" I looked up at him, clearly pissed.

"I-it's a long story... I didn't mean to, it just happened... it was completely out of my control..." I didn't believe it for a second.

"Well don't you think for a ˢᵉᶜᵒⁿᵈ that I fucking deserve an explanation after what you did?!" I tried to keep my voice down.

"You do. I just... it's not like I want to live though it again. As much as you deserve to know what happened, I can't live through it again.... it still hurts..." I was just blind with rage at this point. My thoughts clouded with anger.

I've imagined this situation so many times in my head, wondering what the hell could have happened. And every time, I was never angry at him. But now? I was livid.

"And you don't think you hurt me too?! What could have been so bad that you ignored me for years!!! Put me through so much what if's, and it's my fault's!!! Huh?!?!!" I was close to shouting, but I tried to hold back as much as possible.

"BECAUSE I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU EXISTED UNTIL THIS YEAR, ALRIGHT?!?!?!?!" He snapped back.

There was along pause of silence.

"... what's that supposed to mean..." I was genuinely confused. The anger subsided, and more what if's flooded my brain.

"I said what I said. Trevor, I lost my memories. I went through a camp to get rid of the gay, and you know what my last words were before everything went blank?! 'I don't want to loose him.'" My heart shattered.

Out of all the what if's, the my faults, the nights I blamed myself for everything, not once did I ever think of this ever being a possibility.

"Dean... I... fuck... I'm so sorry." My emotions flooded over me, and I didn't know what to feel.

"It's not your fault... but I am sorry for how I left you. I know I couldn't control it, but I didn't want to worry you. The whole thing is just fucked up..." I nodded in agreement. The whole thing sounded like a mess.

"Can I... hug you?" I asked quietly. Hoping he didn't hear me.

"Please?" I nodded and brought him into a tight embrace. Holding his head under my chin and against my chest.

He got a lot taller and I had to lift my head a lot higher to have his head under my chin. Considering he was only one inch shorter than me.

"I'm sorry for yelling..." I said quietly.

"I'm sorry too... for everything." He replied, holding me tighter.

I watched as this black haired man and Trevor held each other in a tight embrace.

Jealousy flooded over me, but I knew I couldn't do anything. He's not mine.

I felt tears peak in my eyes, and I wanted to run away.

But I knew I couldn't go to far... for Daniel.

I quickly wiped my eyes with my arm and walked back to the waiting room.

XXX

Further down the corridor I heard yelling coming from our waiting room.

I quickly ran into the room only to find a doctor and Carly in the room.

Carly looked livid, and the doctor stayed calm, but looked upset.

"What the heck is going on?!" I looked at the both of him.

"HE IS NOT DEAD! YOU'RE LYING!!! HE PROMISED ME!!!!" Carly screamed as she cried. Clutching the sides of her wheelchair.

....dead?

"What is going on?" The doctor turned to me.

"We tried as hard as we could, but he didn't make it. Since their was no family listed on his file, we went ahead and honored his wishes of becoming an organ donor. He saved a life today." Tears peaked in my eyes.

This can't be true...

"He... he's gone..." a lump caught in my throat.

"I'm afraid so."

The room went silent for a minute. Only Carly's sobs were heard.

"You may go visit him for your last words, but we will need her to sign a few things when it's over. I'm sorry for your loss. Please... Excuse me."

I stood there and looked at the floor.

Everything was so surreal.

He... he's gone.

Just like that. Taken from Carly, from Trevor, from me...

Gone.

I looked over at Carly as she cried. Sobbing into her hands.

"What the hell am I supposed to do now?!" Carly cried.

I went over to her and grabbed her hands. I sat on my knees and looked up into her teary eyes.

"I know everything is not okay, and it won't be for a while, but you have me. You have Trevor. You have Abby and Lily too. We all love you so much... we will be by your side through everything. I promise..."

She continued to cry and I sat up on my knees and hugged her deeply.

She sobbed into my shoulder.

The door opened, and I ignored it. Knowing it was Trevor. Not someone I wanted to see at the moment.

"Jay, why did you- what happened?!" Trevor panicked.

"He...." Carly choked, but she stopped.

"What's wrong?" I pulled back and held her shoulders.

"My water just broke..."

XXX