🥺

Roses are not all red. Violets will never be blue. And whatever happens, You'll never love me the way I love you.

He didn't hug me back as I embraced him. His whole body stiffened under my touch.

I silently cried into his uniform, no longer caring.

"Uh you guys know each other?" The brunette asked.

Trevor didn't answer, and neither did I.

I stood there, embracing him. My heart slowly breaking from him not hugging back.

Trevor pushes on my shoulders, prying me off. I let go looking into his eyes. I only saw pain. How much pain he was in. He shook his head no, letting go of my shoulders.

I furrowed my brows, confused, angry, upset.

Trevor bowed his head slightly, sighing before walking away into my house. Leaving me on my Nana's lawn.

Nana walked over to me, placing her frail hand on my shoulder. A single tear slipped down my face. I stood still as she embraced me. "I'm so sorry baby..." she whispered into my neck.

"I-I'll give you guys some privacy..." I heard the brunette leave.

"What happened baby...." Nana asked, still holding me tight.

"It's all my fault.... I-I broke it off... so why does it hurt so bad...." I cried into my Nana's shoulder, finally embracing her.

"You love him baby. It's obvious. He's in a lot of pain though... give him some time." She said calmly while I cried.

It hurt just as much to do as it did to watch the aftermath.

I stood in the doorway, watching Jay break down into Nana. It hurt to see. Knowing that I wasn't the one holding him, the one comforting him.

It wasn't me.

I couldn't run back to him. I was too much of a mess and I didn't need to make his life worse by dragging him with me.

You might be thinking "wHaT tHe hElL wHeRe yOu ThInKiNg?!?!" Well... I couldn't do it. Running back to him would make everything worse. I couldn't take another heartbreak.

Hurting him right there was probably the worse thing I've done in a long time. But it needed to be done.

I need to learn how to be okay on my own. And so does he.

We can't be together while we are both broken. It just can't happen. It'll only hurt the both of us worse in the long run.

And if he truly loves me like he says? If I truly love him? Then this break will be hell for the both of us. Maybe even worse than it already is.

But I want him to be happy. With or without me. And I want the same for myself.

As selfish as it sounds. I want him to be happy. I need him to be happy. I need to be happy.

But I can't hold onto him like I have been. He can't keep being my crutch of happiness. He should only add to my happiness.

I need to be happy on my own.

Abby was right.

XXX

A few hours passed.

I watched as Jay ran to his room, closing the door. I sighed, feeling hurt. After all it is my fault. He could be in my arms, but I chose to say no. God I'm an asshole...

Interrogating Mrs. Baker for information, anything she could think of that we could use in court. Everything.

Cole filled her in on how the divorce would go and how she could hold onto the rent.

The two other officers were talking with Jay, probably doing the same thing.

It was almost time for Mr. Baker to come home.

"He should be home soon..." Mrs. Baker said quietly.

"You'll be okay Ma'am. He won't get to you or your kids." I said with a small smile.

"Please, call me Rosalind. And... thank you. Thank you both for believing me." She said with a weak smile.

"What do you mean? Of course we believe you." I said with furrowed brows.

"He always said no one would believe me. I guess I always believed him." She said with a straight face.

I gave her a light smile.

I knew in my heart that one day she would recover from this. And when she came out, she'd be the happiest, the most loving, the most fearless person.

She was truly an inspiration.

XXX

It was time. 2 more minutes till he was expected to be home.

Jay laid with his mom on the couch, curled up next to her.

Freddy sat close to her, holding the both of them.

He came back from work about an hour earlier. He spent most of his time talking with Jay.

I always glanced over at Jay. Stealing glances of his small frame. Covered by my sweatshirt... His big brown eyes that I'll never get out of my head. The way he pulled off anything he wore and looked absolutely stunning. Everything flashed through my head. And every once in a while, I'd catch him staring at me.

1 minute.

The clock seemed to tick by slowly.

Time stood still.

A smile never graced his beautiful face, and I wish I could see him smile. To know that he could be happy, and will be happy without me. I needed his bright smile more than anything.

The car pulled into the driveway.

It was time.

I set my hands in position on my tool belt, ready to grab anything necessary as soon as he entered through the door.

The tussling of keys in the door.

The knob creaking as it was opened.

The old wood door creaking open as he stepped through the door.

"Why the hell are there cops outside-" he started to yell but stopped as soon as he saw the four cops lined up close to the door.

"The hell is going on here?!" He looked at the four of us. "You!" He pointed at me.

I stood my ground. Keeping a straight face.

"You're the one that turned my disgrace for a son into a fairy!" He raised his voice louder. I didn't say anything. Not even batting an eye.

He got closer, almost ready to grab my uniform.

"Raymond Baker, you are under arrest for domestic abuse, child abuse, and neglect. Anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law." Shawn quickly grabbed his hands, pinning them behind his back, quickly cuffing him.

"WHAT THE HELL, GET OFF ME!!!" He screamed and thrashed, trying to get out of Shawn's hold. Cole and Derek quickly grabbed him and held him still.

I watched as he got pulled to the car.

I couldn't move.

I didn't understand why.

Every voice around me was blurry. I just watched as he got carried to the car. Shoved in the back.

I hope Shawn left the cuffs unlocked. Because the more you move, the tighter they get.

"Trevor... TREVOR! Hey! HEY!" I snapped out of it. Snapping back to reality.

I looked back down to meet the sweetest pair of brown eyes. The softest black hair that was getting unruly. The soft bruises gracing his heavily freckled skin. My blue sweatshirt that cascaded over his body that was clearly too big. The concern flashing in his beautiful eyes.

"A-are you okay?" His soft voice was almost like a whisper.

His hands that no longer had his signature long painted nails. They were now short and unpainted, gently graced over my chest as he lightly rested his small hands on me.

I smiled lightly at his concern.

"Maybe one day." I graced my hand over his face. Cupping his slimmed and hollowed out cheeks.

He leaned into my hand like it was his home.

I couldn't give in as much as I wanted to.

I needed to do this for myself. As selfish as it sounds.

I need to learn how to be happy. No matter how selfish I may be for wanting to be happy, I know he will always hold a special place in my heart.

"I miss you..." he sad with tears in his eyes. His face held so much sadness. I wanted to give in.

"I missed you too princess." I gave a light smile.

A single tear slipped down his face. I wiped it from his beautiful skin. To pretty to be sad.

I looked up and noticed that his mom and brother were outside talking with the other three. Cole giving me worried glances. I just nodded and he looked away.

I looked back down at Jay, meeting his sad brown eyes. His eyes glossed over with tears.

My smile disappeared. I rubbed his cheeks with my thumbs. Holding his small face in my hands.

He closed his eyes. No longer meeting my gaze.

I leaned down, gently holding him under my palms.

My lips met his. An Immediate response followed suit. He kissed back so lightly, but longingly. Almost like I wasn't really here.

As quickly as it started, I pulled away.

His eyes told me he knew what this meant.

He knew it was the last.

For now.

Maybe in the future. Maybe somewhere down the road we will meet again and we will both be better people.

Maybe he might find someone that will make him happier than I ever could.

Maybe he will adopt a few kid's that will brighten his world.

Maybe.

I smiled down at him, gently grazing his cheeks with my thumbs.

"Goodbye princess." I pulled his head in and kissed his forehead gently.

He held onto my sleeves where I held his head in place.

I looked down to see the tears rolling down his face as he silently cried.

"I... I love you...." he cried as more tears spilled down his face.

"I always loved you. Always will. Maybe one day we will see each other again. Then... I'll be there for the journey ahead. I'll be ready then."

He looked up at me as tears filled his eyes.

"That better be a promise jackass." He cried while chuckling slightly to hide the sadness in his eyes..

I chuckled. "No cursing princess..." was all I thought to say. He smiled. Genuine. But small. The tears masking the happiness in the smile he held.

"Be good... okay? I better not ever see you in that police department." I rubbed away the last of his tears.

"Be safe.... for me." He smiled lightly, looking into my eyes. He meant it with all his heart.

"I will."

I wiped away one last tear from his face and slowly dropped my hands. He let go of my shirt.

I smiled one last time before walking out the door.

Finally ready to let myself be happy.

Ready to start the journey to recovery.

Then maybe one day, I'll see him again.

And if that day comes? He'll be back in my arms.

XXX