I've been wanting to write a song fic for a while, so I'm finally getting around to doing it. The song is linked above.

Request from !

HUGE TW FOR THIS CHAPTER. PLEASE don't read if you think you'll be triggered by topics like suicide, self harm, abuse, etc. This chapter is seriously rough. Stay safe and take care of yourselves

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You're gonna wish you believed me

God, I wish I was happy.

"Dad, I'm sorry, I didn't mea-"

Marcy flinched as her father slammed his fist down on the dinner table. "I don't want to hear excuses. We've done everything possible to make you happy, and you want to sit here and tell us you think you're depressed?" He shouted, standing up from his seat. "You've had a good life, you don't get to complain. I'm not buying any of this- you aren't depressed."

Her mother spoke up from the other side of the table, disappointment filling her expression. "I'm beginning to think you're just getting lazy. Your grades have been slipping- don't think I didn't see that test from the other day. A 75, Marcy? I thought you were better than that!"

Her father shook his head in disapproval. "Go to your room. And I better not see you talking to those friends of yours until you've raised your grades to an A+, you hear me?"

"Yes, sir." Marcy murmured, holding in tears. She rushed up the stairs and into her room, shutting the door as quietly as possible.

The fraying threads of recovery

Crushing me from above and underneath

You're gonna wish you believed me.

Marcy didn't have the energy to study, despite what her parents said. It's not like they would check on her anyways.

She bit her hand to muffle her cries, sinking to the floor as her legs gave out beneath her. She didn't have the energy for anything anymore- whether it be hanging out with Anne and Sasha, or just taking care of her basic neccessities. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd had a shower or eaten a real meal. She'd eat a snack here and there, but it wasn't nearly enough. It's not like she was trying to starve herself- she just couldn't find it in her to make real food. Her parents never cooked, and she'd rather starve than eat the cafeteria food at school. She only ate real food when she went to Anne's house, which didn't happen often anymore. Every time Anne would ask her to hang out, Marcy would brush her off with the excuse that she had to study- which wasn't entirely a lie, considering how harsh her parents were when it came to grades.

Marcy wiped away her tears, then reached into her bookshelf for her pencil sharpener. She took out the blade, staring at it with exhaustion-filled eyes.

Fell asleep in the kitchen,

Slowly dissolving into my seat.

Marcy let out a tired yawn as she sat down in her seat, just before the bell rang. As her English teacher began to lecture, she felt herself falling asleep at her desk, but forced herself to sit uprifht. She'd never slept through class before, and she wasn't going to let it happen now, no matter how little sleep she had gotten the night before.

She began to take notes, shivering. Had it always been this cold in the school building? 'No, I just haven't eaten', she thought logically. She knew the kinds of things that could happen when you didn't get enough nutrients- she just didn't care enough to be worried about it.

She felt her eyes closing yet again. 'It couldn't hurt to close my eyes for just a moment', she thought to herself.

Marcy woke up with a start to the sound of the bell, signaling the end of first period. Dread filled her chest as she realized she had missed an entire lesson of notes, and was now more behind than she already was. She couldn't afford to keep sleeping through class- her grades would continue to drop, and she didn't want to find out what her parents would do if her grades dropped to a B, or even a C.

Marcy made her way through the halls, trying to get to her last class of the day. School was becoming increasingly exhausting with each passing day, and it was taking more and more of her energy just to make it through a single week.

The hallways were so bright and loud, filled with friends laughing and talking with one another. She quickly pulled her headphones over her ears- the noise hurt her head, and she couldn't stand to hear all of the happy conversations between groups of friends. Sure, she had Sasha and Anne, and she didn't doubt for one second that they were good friends. They were incredible friends. She just couldn't help but think they'd be better off without her there.

Surely, things wouldn't change much if she wasn't there. They would likely be much happier without Marcy. People always told her, "trios never work out". So maybe she would be doing her friends a favor if she was gone.

Marcy opened the door to her house, crossing her fingers that her parents wouldn't be home yet. However, she was met with the sound of shouting as she entered. She tried as hard as possible to creep up the stairs without making any noise, and she almost thought she was safe, until she heard her father's voice calling her name.

"Don't think you can just go straight to your room without me noticing. Your teacher emailed us today."

Marcy panicked, pausing where she stood on the staircase. "Wait, which one? I-"

Her dad only seemed to get angrier, and Marcy realized with dread that he was drunk. "Don't play dumb with me, young lady. Apparently, you fell asleep in class today. Your teacher told me you've been slacking off quite a bit lately. Do you think that's acceptable?"

Marcy shook her head and looked at the floor. Why would her teacher even email about something as small as falling asleep in class? Why didn't she just say something to Marcy, or wake her up instead? "I'll work harder, I promise", she replied, voice just barely above a whisper. Her hands shook as she tried to keep her composure.

"I know you will. Next time this happens, I won't be so gracious. Now go to your room, and don't come out", he yelled, storming off angrily. Marcy watched him leave before wearily climbing the rest of the stairs and entering her room, collapsing onto her bed.

School was exhausting, and home was even worse. She had no place to go to.

She pulled the blankets over her head, falling asleep faster than she had in weeks.

It's just that I'm really hurting

It's boiling above the Sertraline

Colliding into the concrete

Marcy zoned out as she walked home from another day of school alongside Sasha and Anne, tuning out their excited chatter. Everything was hurting her ears right now, and her whole body shook with exhaustion. She felt so, so tired, even though they had only been walking for less than five minutes.

"Earth to Marbles!" Anne giggled.

Marcy looked up at her, blinking wearily. "Huh?"

Anne smiled brightly. "We were talking about hanging out tomorrow night. I think my parents would be cool for you to stay the night at my place. Are you free?" She asked.

Marcy gave the best smile she could, shaking her head. "Sorry, guys. I need to study again, since midterms are coming up, y'know?"

Anne's smile faltered, and she glanced at Sasha for a moment before looking back at Marcy with concern. "Marce, you've been saying that for the past few weeks now. Every time I ask, you tell me you have to study. You've never spent this much time on studying before now. Are you sure nothing else is going on?"

"Of course not! I've just been way busier lately. My parents want me to work a little harder on raising my grades!" Marcy reassured. She felt some sense of relief in the fact that she technically wasn't lying- her parents really did want her to raise her grades.

Sasha spoke up this time, slowing her pace as they walked. "Anne's right. You've been super distant lately! You can talk about it, if you want."

Marcy stopped walking. "I don't want to talk about it! Nothing's wrong, and it's annoying that you guys keep asking! Can't you leave me alone and just drop it already?" She yelled, tears filling her eyes. She watched as Anne and Sasha looked at her with hurt in their eyes, and she made the split- second decision to run. She ran the rest of the way home, slamming the front door shut and rushing up the stairs to her room. She locked the door behind her, collapsing next to her bed in tears. Her breathing came out in uneven gasps as she tried to make sense of what had just happened.

'You just yelled at the only people who care about you. They hate you now'

Marcy sobbed into her stuffed animal, hitting herself in the head in an attempt to make her thoughts go away. She could hear her parents downstairs, yelling at her to be quiet, but she wasn't in the right state of mind to think about anything other than the blade in her bookshelf. She looked over at it for a moment, the thoughts in her head going quiet. She could so easily end all of her pain in an instant. She wouldn't have to deal with her parents or school, and her friends would be so much happier without her. All she did was cause them pain.

She pulled out her phone and sent a text to the only two people in her contacts, tears landing on the screen as she typed, blurring the letters.

_____________________________

To: 👑Sasha👑, Anna-Banana

4:17pm

i love you both so much

______________________________

Marcy sighed and powered off her phone. She reached for the blade and rolled up her hoodie sleeves, revealing multiple layers of scars.

She didn't know how long she sat there, trying to gain her composure and holding the blade above her arm. She wanted to do it so badly, but she was terrified. Everything in her screamed for her to just do it already, to just get it over with, but there was some part of her mind that hesitated.

As she finally placed the blade on her skin, someone pounded on her door. She couldn't even move, she just sat with the blade still pressed to her skin as Sasha finished unlocking the door, following right behind Anne.

Marcy looked up at them in fear, looking back down at the blade. 'It's now or never. Do you really want to stay, where you'll just continue to hurt your friends?'

A sob ripped its way from Marcy's throat as she clenched her fists, tightening her hold around the blade.

"Marcy, hey, Marce. Look at me, please? It's okay." Anne murmured softly, moving to hug her friend tightly. Sasha sat on the other side of her, holding Marcy's hands.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't- I didn't mean t-"

"Hey, don't apologize. Look at me, and breathe. You remember what you told me a year or two ago?" Anne asked, struggling not to start crying.

Marcy shook her head.

"You promised I wouldn't lose you again. You promised. I'm not going to let you break that promise, and neither is Sash. We're here, Marcy."

Marcy practically fell onto Anne, fully crying now. Sasha and Anne enveloped her in a tight hug, throwing the blade to the side. "You're okay, Marce. You're okay", Anne whispered.

The three girls held onto each other as tightly as possible.

You're gonna wish you believed me

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This was honestly hard to write. I hope I did okay on it tho

Another reminder that requests are v appreciated!! Im not creative lol

Again, please take care of yourselves and stay safe. I love all of you sm