"So... uh, you're a mechanic, huh?"

I barely manage to get the words out. I'm so nervous I can hardly breathe and my heart is threatening to jump right out of my chest. What kind of a stupid question is that anyway?! Like I haven't spent hours on end these past months watching him all dreamy-eyed from a corner of his workshop whilst he fixes bikes...

And the best I can come up with right now is "So... uh, you're a mechanic, huh?"

God dammit. I mean... here I am, sitting with the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my entire life... and I'm a bumbling idiot. After months of me stalking (yeah, yeah, I admit it, alright?) and harrassing him at work on a daily basis, he's actually agreed to go on a date (oh my God, is this a date?) and my nerves are getting the better of me.

Fuck!

I can't breathe... what the fuck is wrong with me?

Just to spend a bit of time with him. Talk to him. That's literally all I've wanted since I bumped in to this absolute God of a man at Danny's brother's party almost a year ago.

I don't know what to think about the way he makes me feel... but I do know one thing... Lex intrigues me beyond words and I just need to get to know him... it's like I need to soak up everything about him... his incredible voice, his carefree smile, his mesmerising eyes, his beautiful aura, his sizzling sex appeal... where was I again...?

Oh crap, he's talking to me whilst I am just way too busy having a panic attack inside my head.

OK... focus Jimmy, focus. You wanna get to know him then listening to his lifestory might actually be a good start!

"...so yeah, despite excellent grades and my position as basketball team captain, I felt that school just wasn't for me, so I ended up dropping out at seventeen. I got myself a job at the local garage and spent a solid four years learning everything about the art of fixing and pimping cars, motorbikes and anything else with an engine and wheels basically. When I was 21, my boss Larry decided to retire and handed his business over to my colleague Pat and myself. Pat kept the big garage up the street and I decided to take on Larry's old little spare parts warehouse and turn it into a motorbike and bicycle shop. So, uh, yeah, that's my story... and even though I own my own business, I guess I'd still consider myself a mechanic - heart and soul. I'm living the dream. I make money doing something I love - screwing around on bikes".

God, I'm in awe of this man. Once a brilliant student, who nevertheless dropped out and pursued his dream. Now he's his own boss. He loves his job. It's clear to see it makes him happy just from how passionately he's talking about it all. The way his eyes sparkle and his lips are curled upward into the most genuine smile as whilst speaks...

I pull myself out of my own thoughts and find Lex staring at me, brows raised, lips pulled in between his teeth. Shit. I should probably say something back. Instead I just stare at him dumbly before blushing and lowering my eyes to the plate in front of me. Say something, dammit.

I'm blatantly making him uncomfortable as well and he totally doesn't want to be here. Shit, I mean he's just here to humor me, right?

Huh, I guess I get it now.... and I feel so embarrassed.

I can't even look at him and just keep examining my dessert. How could I even begin to think he was into me? What am I to him? What could I ever be to him? Probably just a stupid kid who has been drooling over him for the last 11 months... This is probably just a huge joke to him... Take the kid out for his ice cream to finally shut him the hell up...

I shut my eyes and shake my head.

I can't do this. What the hell was I expecting anyway? I'm fifteen and he's twenty-four. He's a man, a real man... with his own business, his own appartment, a real grown-up life...

FUCK!

Why did I even think anything would or could ever happen between us? So what if he's all I think about and he can make my heart race just with a single smile, a wink, a single spoken word... we obviously can't be a thing... ever. Sure, in just a couple of weeks, I'll be sixteen... but the fact remains that I'm nearly nine years younger than him... and that he's a sex God (how could he not be, I mean look at him)... and here's little baby virgin me... never even been kissed... always too busy training hard or playing video games. Fuck, he's so out of my league, we are literally on different planets.

"Earth to Jimmy", he chuckles. Huh, point proven, I guess. "Have I bored you to death?"

I can't do this. No matter how much I want to be with Lex... even if he wanted to be with me too... I wouldn't even know how to... what to... my entire body is taken over by anxiety... frustration... fear of rejection...

I can feel tears of anger, anger at myself, starting to fill my eyes but I fight them. I close my eyes and shake my head to will them away. And it almost works, almost.... until Lexy's words pull me back to the real world.

"Jimmy, would you please just talk to me?"

His voice is calm and serene, deceivingly so. His eyes are giving him away though. They show frustration... desperation... hurt?

I can't do this. I can't help the single tear of frustration that runs down my cheek as I slowly stand up, looking into his eyes. I bite my bottom lip, still trying to find the right thing to say... anything to say...

When the words don't come, I push my chair away, turn around and start walking away. I'm barely out the door when I hear him catching up with me. When he gently places a hand on my shoulder, my heary flutters at his touch and the tears I've been holding back break free. I don't turn around. I don't look at him.

"I'm sorry for wasting your time", I barely manage to whisper over my shoulder before walking away again.