The Run turned out to be more stressful than relaxing; I gave up halfway and sat for about two hours in a park pondering over everything.

I dragged my sweaty self to my room and as I was about to close my door my mother called out to me from the living room.

"You called me, Ma" I asked her, she was watching some dance show on television, she patted the place next to her on sofa, indicating me to sit down.

I shook my head and said" Nah I would rather stand, I am all sweaty and gross from the run"

She smiled in acknowledgement and said "Are you okay ryan, for the past few days I have this feeling that you are stressed out about something, if something is bothering you, feel free to share it, if you don't feel comfortable in sharing it me or your father than perhaps share it with one of your friends but don't bottle up your emotions, it's not good, okay."

"Thanks Ma,I will,I love you"

"Love you too kiddo, now go shower you stink "she even crinkled her nose for the effect making me laugh.

After shower as I was lying on my bed, I decided to take my mother's advice and put in into action, the first person that came to my mind was Monica.

I immediately called her but she didn't pick up, I called her again and she picked up on the fourth ring.

" Hey ryan wasssup" she said in her ever chirpy voice making me smile.

"Hey Monica how are you, what time are you leaving tomorrow "I asked her.

"Around noon" she replied.

"Oh yeah so uhmm the thing is uhhh" Damn kanan's habits are rubbing on me, what the hell why can't I form a proper sentence.

"What is it ryan, everything okay"she sounded way too serious saying it.

Delaying will do no good to me so I came straight to the point" Can you meet me NOW, I am really confused an-and I really need someone to talk to"

"Oh, it's about kanan, isn't it"Damn she is good.

"yeah" I replied.

"Come to my house, I am packing my stuff, so come help me and I'll help you" she said and disconnected the call.

I sighed and started to get ready.

Chaotic.

Yes chaotic that's how I'll define Monica's room, clothes and shoes covered every inch of her room, literally every inch.

"You came for only a week, how many suitcases did you bring" I asked her while trying not to step on any of her stuff.

"Originally three but I am taking five with me" She said casually.

"FIVE????"I exclaimed.

"yeah so what, I bought three with me and the two additional ones well one is filled with food and other with new stuff my mum bought for me" monica said.

"Well enough dilly dallying, come sit and start talking" she patted the space near her on the floor.

I sat there cross legged and over the next hour I poured my heart out to her.

"...so what do you think, uhmm what should I do?"I asked her at last.

"You really like this boy ,like really really" She started "and I am not saying that you love him maybe you do but I think you should talk it out with him."

"But what if..."as I was about to object she interrupted me.

"I know what you are thinking , that what if he doesn't like you or.."

This time I interrupted her by saying" what if he is not even gay"

She glared at me and said "Are you gay??"

"Uhm I mean uhh I don't know I never had romantic interest towards anyone, first it was you and now Kanan"I replied honestly making her eyes soften.

"It doesn't matter if you like a girl or boy all that matters is, are your feelings genuine towards them and as far as I know you, I know for sure that you really like this kid so trust me take a chance and tell him, even if he doesn't reciprocate your feelings just tell him."

"Yeah you are right, but for now can you keep it between us only, I will tell him when I'll be ready"I begged her.

"Hey it's fine take your time,but not too much else that man stealer Rahul will snag him away"she joked.

RAHUL ugggh I hate his name and his face and his closeness with kanan.

"Thank you for all the wise words, now finish your packing and call me before leaving" I hugged her and went back home with a lighter heart.

That night as I was laying in my bed the only thing that I wanted to tell everyone was..

I like kanan.

I like kanan.

I like kanan.

.........kanan.