Love is an adrenaline and a feeling so strong so deep, in which the world disappears, when you cling to a woman who loves and hates with the force of a volcano. Only she has wept in silence of suffering, lives intensely in the pain, and loves in the hours of true happiness -

*

"There is nothing wrong with celebrating a huge milestone darling, it's just a small get together dear" Mom says to me, as we stand in the kitchen, her by the sink near the window overlooking the yard outside, and me by the counter, with one hand over the smooth granite top for support, the other gently resting on my belly as i bite my top lip anxiously in thought.

"I am just not in the mood" i mumble quietly.

"You are never in the mood for anything....it's just this one special day honey. Please make an effort for the sake of everyone that's here right now....ok?" she asks rhetorically, kissing me on the cheek and walking out of the door with some napkins and forks in her hands.

I stare at the closed door that she just dissapeared out of, then eventually walk to the window instead of following after Mom.

I look outside at the patio and the lawn beyond it as gentle rains fall over it, giving me a small sense of relaxation before allowing myself to go back to where everyone else is.

The last time i was here in the kitchen of Angelo's family home, i was with Steph and the two of us chatted like we were old friends. Such a contrast to where we are now, we can barely be around each other and she acts like i did something wrong to her.

Anyway, Angelo and i had just started becoming serious with our relationship, sort of, and i remember how he used to make me feel so nervous and excited all at the same time, and even though i didn't know it yet, what i felt for him was far deeper than just a physical attraction even back then.

"Hiding from people?" a voice speaks behind me.

I turn around and see Ben standing by the door.

"No, i just......needed a minute." I utter.

He nods and smiles slightly, and i turn around again.

"These guys giving you a hard time?" he asks, coming to stand next to me and bringing his hand towards my belly.

"May I?" He asks.

"Uhhmm, sure, i guess" I answer hesitantly.

I get asked that question alot now that i am so far along with the pregnancy, especially from Angelo's side of the family, almost as if it's a way for them to connect with him. but Ben in particular has never asked me for that before, so i am surprised and a little taken aback, and my body tenses in response.

Over time, him and i have become....friendly. I guess he did finally get what he wanted after all. I remember Angelo telling me how they were fighting because Angelo was being offered the Job he wanted, well, now he is in charge of everything, except for Angelo's personal businesses, or those he has with Nick, So Ben is pretty much running the show. I don't know how well that is working out, but he finally got what he wanted, i guess.

I also noticed that now he makes more of an effort to be nicer to me, especially with the kids around, he usually brings them over to he house to visit me himself and ofcourse they get a kick out of feeling my belly all the time.

Lana is now a permanent resident at the house, and i am really grateful for that. She is warm and always manages to fill up the emptiness and silence in the house. Mom and Jade have not left the house either. As for everyone else, they come and go, but i often see them, i can't complain.

"I remember when Steph was pregnant with Bella like it was yesterday, i was so nervous about having a kid of my own.....but look at her now, all grown up, how fast time flies huh?" he says, pulling his hand away and i feel myself finally relax.

I give him a small smile, then turn towards the door to leave.

"Shall we." I murmur.

"You know, Mary......"He says, and i stop in my tracks.

"I am really proud of you, the way you have handled this whole situation, especially these last couple of months, it's nothing short of......inspiring. You are a strong woman. I see why Angelo was crazy about you........." he says.

Was?

"......I am sure he would be proud of how you have handled things." He adds, looking out the window and not me as he speaks.

I don't say anything in response, but just think about what he just said.

These passed months have been trying, but i got through them.

Everyday i wake up with the hope that things will be different, then the day goes by, i breathe, i eat, then the day ends in dissapointment, and i cry alone in my bed. I wake up the next day and do it all over again and hope that one day it will all get easier.

Some days i actually think it does...then something happens and sets me right back to square one.

At one point, i had gone off to Milford with my family, it's a quiet uneventful town, i thought the change of scenery and the quietness will be a good opportunity to reset and relax, but the media attention followed me there, and none of us could go outside without being hounded.

Eventually, we found the house too small and restricting to serve it's intended purpose, so we came back home and i finally decided to take up Lorenzo's job offer.

So now i write for his newspaper, twice a week, and i get some pretty good, and maybe biased reviews from family and friends. I still do my daily videos no matter how tired i get, because i want to keep a record of everything for Angelo.

I also decided to be involved in some of Angelo's charities, just to keep myself as occupied and as busy as i can manage without it affecting my health, seeing as i don't go out much casually anyway.

I tried that at one time. I went out to Dinner with Luke and Rachel and i woke up the next morning to news of me already 'Moving on with another man' and some other nonsensical headlines like that, which where not the first stories about me and Luke by the way, and it was hurtful and insensitive. Henceforth, i had not been out much casually like that after that, until more recently, because i sort of developed thicker skin.

"Hey" Ben touches my shoulder to get my attention.

I look at him and also notice Nick by the door.

"Are you guys coming?" He asks.

"Yeah" I give them both a smile" and walk towards the door and passed Nick to where everyone is gathered. It's not everyday you get to turn twenty six right after all.

*

Those who foolishly sought power by riding the back of the tiger, ended up inside.' - Anonymous

Despite my initial shock at Claire's involvement in this, i was glad, glad because her feelings for me made her vulnerable and easy to control. But her love turned obsession proved futile and she decided she went about this the wrong way. I actually thought this was over, but that's when her partner decided to make themself known and my stay here was extended.

With new 'management', came new rules. Atleast the chain was removed when a key was handed to me, my wrist healed, leaving a small scar as a reminder, as if the memories are not bad enough.

As i suspected, Max is part of this and very much in control of the whole situation now.

When i decided to annul my marriage with Claire, i made a unique arrangement with Meraki, to make sure the Dennings would retain their 'fortune' over a time period, and Max, well, i couldn't save Max from dealing with the consequences of his involvement with Meraki, nor did i want to either, so him going to jail was inevitable, it was just a matter of time.

But judging from the current turn of events, he definitely had a card up his sleeve to twist things to his advantage.

That's why he had me taken out of the way until the whole case goes cold, and he was smart enough to use Claire's obsession with me to do the dirty work for him and keep himself out of the spot light until it was convinient for him.

Now he is very much in charge of the situation and wants me to know how much he is enjoying every single minute of it.

'You know dad was always raving about you, for as long as i can remember....."Angelo this, Angelo that" almost as if he didn't have a son of his own, nothing I ever did was good enough.....Then when you and Claire started dating, it was "You should be more like Angelo this, you should be more like Angelo that," and God knows how much I hated it, it made me you, made me hate him....I must admit I wasn't dissapointed when your relationship went crushing down and suddenly dad saw you in a whole new light, and like everything else that goes wrong around him, he blamed you for the state Claire was in, without taking any accountability for the neglect and poor way Claire had been raised all her life.

Anyway, i guessed it all worked out for you in the end huh, because you found yourself a replacement and now you are going to be a daddy...." He grins.

"........You know initially, i wanted to take your little girlfriend, use her as collateral, a bargaining chip, you know....... but damn she was always so heavily guarded, and it made me want to get her even more, just to get under your skin.......but like i said, getting past all that security would have left a messy trail and i don't like to get my hands dirty." He says calmly, both hands on the metal bars that form the outter part of the doors.

"But you, you my friend never change do you, You hate being followed, controlled, people getting in your personal space, You always hated having people follow you around. I was genuinely surprised to see that you finally decided to start packing a team with you, but it didn't last long did it, too inconveniencing for you?" He badgers.

"Well thank God for that Angelo, because it gave me a window of opportunity and made all this possible" he motions with his hands to our situation.

"You know, listening to Claire go on and on about you and how she could not live without you, and how she just wanted one chance to prove to you that you belong together, i thought, why not kill two birds with one stone. I had a situation that needed solving and Claire wanted her boyfriend back and guess what? Both of those problems could be sorted out by one person." He murmurs, pointing at me.

"And so, i suggested to my parents that she moves here when she said she wanted to move out, making sure she would find this place and allowed her to think this was all her idea and i was just going along with it to help her." he says, clapping his hands together.

"Seeing as you have such a soft spot for her, i actually gave my sister the benefit of the doubt and left her to actually try to woo you again, and i thought, if by some chance you did get back together, maybe you could help me out with the whole court case situation. But it didn't work. I guess bondage and restraints are not really your thing huh, doesn't turn you on??" He chuckles.

"Nevermind, We have come a long way since those first days now haven't we, and lucky for you, we are closer to the end than to the beginning.

So when all this is over, maybe you will get to go home to your family, and me, i can get back to my life and new freedom, as for Claire, she will be the only person found with her hands in the cookie jar, am sure we can fix her with some more therapy sessions, because i very much doubt you are willing to send her to jail....then we can put all this behind us, like it never happened, what do you say?" He asks insolently.

"No??" He goads when i don't respond.

"Ok, i doubt you will be able to prove my involvement either way, You see, when you went missing, I was out of the country, in Spain. I had a pretty good alibi, all anyone has to do to prove it, is to check my social media presence. Even more recently, my lifestyle has been very methodical. You can claim what you want about me, but you will have no proof to back it up. Infact, even right now as we speak, i am actually somewhere else, and i can prove it." He smiles widely.

The way i can't wait to wipe that grin off his face, permanently.

"You know, Dad made me look up to you so much, that i actually did sometimes, and i learned a thing or two on how you operate and come out on top and most importantly clean in our circles."

"Anyway!!!! just hold tight, we are getting there, to the end i mean. The case is taking longer than anticipated, you know how these things sometimes go out of schedule, but we will get there, believe me, even i want to get back to my normal life." He says before standing up straight and turning away.'

Since that conversation, i have had plenty of time to think about what i will do to the bastard when i get the chance. I've thought about life in general, work, about my relationship with Marianne, and what she must be going through. I regret putting her in this position.

I forced my way into her life and showed her more sad days than happy ones, that hurts me the most.

I worry about her alot, how she must be coping with the pregnancy alone.

If i were a better man, i would not insist on keeping her in my life after this.....but my heart insists. It insists on her to survive. I can love no other, only her.

*

More time passes, but i lost count of the actual days at some point.

Claire doesn't come down as much as she used to since her brother made himself known and started calling the shots.

But just as he has been watching me over the years, i have always kept an eye on him, and i know that like everything else he does, he will be clumsy and wreckless, and eventually slip up, messing up his perfect plan.

It turns out, i didn't have to wait very longer for Max's master plan to come tumbling down after all, one piece after the other, just like the domino's.

"Morreli!!" He shouts as he comes down to the door.

"A little Birdy tells me today is a special day." he utters, walking to the door and resting his side against the frame.

"Apparently, it's your lady's birthday, which also happens to be your birthday...now that's the shit fairy tales are made out of right......what are the odds, same day huh? That's very special if you ask me." He murmurs.

"What do you want?" I grumble.

"Calm down cowboy, i come in peace today, and i want to offer you a little treat. You can call me Santa Claus" He winks, then whips out his phone and calls someone.

"Yeah, now!" He commands, before cutting the line.

After a minute, the phone rings and he accepts the call. It's a video call.

I can hear voices in the back ground, and i find myself moving closer to the door.

Suddenly, he holds the phone up and turns it to face me.

I see people, moving around, talking loudly, the longer i look at the screen, the more i recognize them and where they are. I immediately recognize My family house. That's the living room, I have been in there countless times.

I see some of my family as the camera moves around abit and focuses on one person, Marianne and it continues to follow her around the room.

I swallow hard, my throat going dry.

I haven't see her in months.

If today is my birthday, then it's been six months since that day we had the party at our house.

Her belly has grown, significantly.

She is talking to Rachel now, and Ally has just joined them, she is thinner, which means she had her babies already.

Suddenly, someone walks infront of the camera, blocking my view and unconsciously, i shift around on my feet, as if trying to go around the person on the screen that is obscuring my view, and i faintly hear Max chuckle at my predicament.

Luckily, the camera holder moves to get a clearer view of Marianne and i almost want to thank them. My eyes stay fixed on her, studying her, absorbing every little detail, like how her smile doesn't quite meet her eyes. She shakes her leg slightly when she is anxious and she is doing that right now, and even though her belly is bigger, she hasn't packed up as much weight as she should have to match the pregnancy, i can also see the top of her shoulders sticking out more than they used. Her previously rounder and fuller figure is not as it should be at this point in her pregnancy.

Fuck! Her belly is really big. I wonder if she found out what we are having.

"Alright, that's enough" Max utters.

"Wait." I mumble. Desperate for one more minute of her.

There is barely any music playing, so i can hear and recognize some voices, until one particular voice resounds so loudly and clearly as if it was talking to me, as it speaks to the camera holder.

"What the fuck are you doing?" the voice asks.

That is clearly Ben's voice.

"Ok, enough!" Max snaps, cutting the connection, and for the first time in months, he looks nervous.

Without saying another word, he turns and starts leaving.

"Maxwell....." I growl, and he stops and turns around sharply, surprised at the new found vigor and strength in my voice.

".... In engaging in a risky or dangerous endeavor....you may find it easier to continue with it, rather than attempt to quit or abandon it, and face the consequences of those actions......basically what i am saying to you is....the problem with putting your foot on tiger's neck........is you can never let it up.

...If you had watched me closely enough Max, you would have known when to quit......but more importantly, you would have known not to start at all."

For the first time, Max looks at me with uncertainty and panick in his eyes, And that image brings a satisfied smile to my face.

As soon as he goes out of sight, the smile leaves my face, as the memories of Marianne replaces the image, and i sit down slowly, feeling the heat and increasing wetness in my eyes.

*

I sit down at on the sofa with Rachel and Ally, as the two go on about something, i watch everyone around me and my eyes briefly glance at Ben and Stephanie having some sort of argument, which is not new for them at this point. I start to look away but look back again when i catch Ben yank her off her seat and drag her out of the room.