A week.

A whole week passes, and there is still no news about Angelo.

How can any of this be real? Angelo not being here, a house full of strangers.

It's like a joke that is not funny.

We have been trying to understand, trying to finger it out, but it's like he dissapeared into thin air.

And now, all this thinking and waiting is driving me crazy....

I am losing my mind....I just......i don't know what to do anymore.

I feel like i am stuck in a dream, a nightmare that i can't seem to wake up from.

Stuck in this dream where i am constantly being consumed by the flames of every emotion i can ever think of, one after the other, sometimes all at once.

I remember these feelings very well when i lost dad. The guilty, the pain, the loneliness and emptiness, and how it never completely goes away. I know these emotions all too well.

And now i am back at it again, only this time, i am just hanging in this never ending vacuum where i don't know what happened, and when all this will end. The only thing i am sure of is this pain, this anger, sadness, emptiness.

But the biggest emotion, that unlike the others burns constantly like a flame, never consuming me fully, only hurting me, injuring, scaring me, is fear.

Fear that he is never coming back home. That i will never see him again.

Every day, every morning, i open my eyes and i am afraid, afraid of what the day holds for me, will this be the day he comes back home, or will it be the day someone tells he is never coming back.

And everytime i see someone walking up to me, my worst fear is that they are coming to give me the bad news.

Everytime i see people talking to themselves, and i can't hear what they are saying, i wonder if they have heard something and are discussing how to pass me the bad news.

Everytime someone calls my name, i fear what they will say next.

Everytime someone looks at me, i try to read their face, their expression, just so i can mentally prepare myself.

Everytime i switch on the tv, pick up the phone, my heart burns with fear.

I fear everyone, every sound.

I am afraid of everything.

I am burning in this fear, hoping and praying that Angelo will come back, because only he can save me from this nightmare.

Every night, i cry myself to sleep, and i know that all this stress is taking a toll on my health, so i think about this pregnancy, i think about these babies that even though were unplanned, were conceived out of love. It's the only thing that is keeping me together, keeping me connected to Angelo, and preventing me from being completely consumed in this nightmare once again.

I am grateful that mom and Jade are still around. Lana is staying here too and Andre comes by often, sometimes spending a night. Luke has been around here a couple of times aswell.

Lora, she comes by everyday to check on us and find how things are going, and Ivan has called a couple of times aswell. Basically, i am never without people around me, but still incredibly lonely.

Everyone is hurting, i understand that. Angelo's family, Nick, even Mario, AJ and his team, they are all hurting, confused, and hopeful, and all of us feel responsible in one way or another that we let this happen.

I wish i had not left him alone and dragged him with me inside the house that day, then maybe things would have turned out differently. Or maybe, i should have checked up on me sooner that night, or perhaps if we didn't move into this house and continued to stay at the apartment, there would have been no party, and maybe this wouldn't have happened.

So many maybes.

So many regrets.

And despite all of this...life goes on. Nothing stops moving, only our world has changed.

Like how it's the end of the month and Angelo has a bunch of people that work for him, including security and our house stuff, that need to get paid. I need to figure that out.

Like my job too. I can't constantly make excuses, I haven't lost a spouse, and so not many people will sympathise with my position.

I haven't been to work this whole week though and i am still not in the position to go back anytime soon, so i have applied for a longer leave of absence, that i am may extend indefinitely because of the pregnancy, but i want to wait until later to do that.

I had some other loose ends at office that i had to take care of too, so i had to sit infront of my laptop and send and transfer some unfinished work to someone else.

The world keeps turning, it doesn't care about what's going on, or wait for us to get back on track or care that our lives have been turned up side down. It just keeps moving.

The house operates like a ghost town. Very little laughter is heard, everyone is always on edge, It's no way to live.

I don't know how much more of this uncertainty i can take. Angelo just has to be ok. He needs to come back, because i don't think i can survive another loss like this.

*

Another week passes, and everything is the same, except the feeling is much worse.

People are losing hope. The media talks about him as if he is never coming back, with very little consideration to those who know him personally.

And me, I feel like i am living in a trance, still stuck in this dream and looking from a distance as the world moves on, leaving me behind.

I haven't left the house in two weeks, except once for a doctor's appointment. There is less people coming in and out of the house and working on the case.

I've needed a distraction, so i have been writing this week, putting my feelings and thoughts on paper. I was never one to write personal stuff, but i am finding it therapeutic. Alana also convinced me do daily videos. Just short one minute clips, either at the beginning or end of the day, where i would talk to the camera as if i was talking to Angelo, telling him how i felt at that particular moment, or how my day was.

I hope i that i get the chance to give them to him one-day. I found that it makes me feel abit better, as if i was talking to him directly.

At first i struggled with what to say, failing to find the right words to express my thoughts and feeling to him. But after a couple of days, i realised that everyday the videos are getting longer in length and I have more to say.

Now i look forward to it. It's my favorite time of the day when i feel the most peaceful, hopeful.

Today, i decided to spend some time outside on the lawn. Leaning against the tree, i open a book and try to concentrate on reading.

I have my head bowed, when i see brown leather shoes appear infront of me.

I look up and see Ben.

We haven't spoken to each other since we had that argument two weeks ago, although he has been to the house a couple of times.

"Can i sit down" he asks.

I look down again without responding.

He literally called me a gold digger and a suspect.

He sits down anyway in front of me, stretching one leg and bending the other at the knee, placing his arm on top.

We sit in silence for a while, me looking at my book and him, well, i don't know what he is looking at because my head is bent towards my book, though i can't focus enough to actually ready anything since he arrived.

And then the thought enters my mind, maybe he has something to tell me about Angelo.

It could be bad news, and since he doesn't like me, he probably volunteered to be the bearer of the news, otherwise, why would he show up here suddenly.

My heart starts to pick up speed and my eyes start to sting, the tears not too far away and i blink a couple of times to fight back the water works.

I don't think i am ready for this.

'Mmhhh mhhmm'

He clears his throat.

I hold my breathe anticipating his next words.

"Andre said you had a doctor's appointment yesterday and the doctor said you are not doing very well?" He says, or asks, i am not sure.

I respond with silence.

"I can imagine how difficult this must be for you in your condition" he adds.

I exhale.

Maybe it's a friendly visit?

"Look, I am not proud of the way things went down between us that day.....i must admit i lost my temper when you accused me of having something to do with this" he says.

"I did not accuse you of anything, I only mentioned how tense things had been between you two before he dissappeared and that.........." I stop talking, seeing that there is no way me mentioning their tension could be interpreted any other way other than as an accusation or suspicion.

"Look, we don't know each other very well, we don't have to trust each other, but perhaps we can try not to be too hash towards each other. So unless you have any valid reservations about me, i don't see why we can't put what happened and what was said between us behind us." He suggests.

And i take a moment to consider it.

"Despite our differences, i love my brother Mary....and i am sure, in your own way you care about him too and......"he continues.

".........I love him....I don't expect you to believe that, but i have never wanted anything from him except his love in return....and if you know him as well as i think you do, you would know that he is not stupid or someone that could easily be manipulated...." I say.

"Then for his sake, i would like to take back what i said and move forward" he murmurs.

I guess this is as close to an apology as I will get from him.

I get it, he doesn't really know me, my relationship with Angelo became serious really fast such that even i had reservations about it. I get his point of view, but it doesn't give him a right to insult me though, however, i would like to be on better terms with him and be diplomatic with each other and move forward, for Angelo's sake.

"I guess that's fine." I finally say.

"Good" he replies.

After a bit more of silence, he speaks again.

"Is there anything you need? I am sure you need some help managing the estate " he asks.

I do, but Nick already offered to help, but i don't want to tell him that, seeing how he reacted last time when i involved Nick first.

As if reading my mind he chuckles dryly.

"Nick is already taking care of that right?" he asks rhetorically.

Damn these Morrelis and reading my mind. Must be a family gift.

"He offered" I respond.

"Ofcourse he did" he says with distate.

Clearly, he and Nick don't seem to share a cordial relationship and i can see why now. Angelo acts as if Nick is his brother more than anyone else. They know and are there for each other more than their own siblings, and i see now that it must bother Ben alot, and with good reason.

*

Later that day, Nick and Kyan come by like they usually do everyday. Nick took care of all the in house and Stuff payments and left a couple of documents concerning the same for my information.

So i sit in the study and look at the papers he left behind containing all the costs and expenses over the last couple of weeks as well as the now paid salaries of all the house stuff and security.

It's alot of money.

I also notice appearing on the documents is the monthly bank transfer Angelo now makes to my personal bank account and i feel a flush of embarrassment.

I don't know if Nick is paying this out of his pocket or if he has access to Angelo's accounts, but either way, i don't want that money, especially right now when people are talking about how i am with him for his money.

Angelo gave me a credit card to use some time ago, but i didn't really have alot of bills to pay seeing that i didn't have to worry about rent, food or transport anymore since i started living with him, and i still have money coming in from my job, so i never used his card and used my own salary to cover any other personal expenses i had.

But when he noticed that i only used money from my own account, he started sending money directly into my account every month instead, as usual, overstepping boundaries and imposing his own will on me.

I always felt it was unnecessary and too exhobitant considering i barely have any real expenses myself since he would take care of everything. And now i feel bad that Nick is possibly paying for that.

I will have to talk to him about it.

Looking at this, i see why his family may have reservations about me being with him for the right reasons I guess.

But if only they knew, I would live under a rock, eating dust and bugs, just to be with him.

Later that night, as i look into the camera, i tell him how my day was, that i sort of made up with Ben, that Nick came by, about the bills and how embarrassed i felt.

'Oh Angelo!!

What i wouldn't give to have you here, overstepping some more boundaries again, seeing your face again, looking into those golden brown eyes.

hearing your voice.

Holding you.

Telling you i love you, because i do.

I miss you.

I miss you so much.

Please be ok.

I love you.'

++++++++++++++

With my back pressed against the concrete wall, i watch as the sun goes down again. Atleaast i think it is. There is a small round opening through the roof that reflects light down onto the floor on the left side the room that i can not reach because of my restraint.

And by restraint, i mean this thick metal chain that tied to my wrist on one end, and a metal bar of the wall on the other end.

I always watch that light appear, then slowly start to fade until it dissapears completely, only to appear again many hours later. That is how i have been counting my days.

So far, I have watched it come and go twelve times.

I was passed out when i got here, that's why i can't seem to remember how i arrived here, or how long i was out before i woke up. But i am alone in this room, have been since i woke up, and i have barely slept since, always on edge, always waiting, but nobody ever comes.

That's almost two weeks i have been here, two weeks of my wrist chained to the wall. It's a long chain though, that allows me to get around the room, but not long enough to reach the door on the right. It's a large room, with a small room attached to it with a bathroom and toilet in it that i can reach.

There is a bed, a book shelf and a rustic wooden cabinet with packaged food and water in it.

Nothing else here.

No window, except for two air vents at the top of the high walls and that one door on the right then have never been opened.

It's basically a self contained prison.

I don't know why i am here, or who put me here.

No one has shown up to tell me what is going on.

I have just been left to the company of my own thoughts, thoughts that taunt and torment me day and night.

Like where is my family?

Are they safe?

Did someone hurt them?

Are they here too somewhere, stuck like me.

And most of all, where is Marianne? My Marianne.

Did they get her too?

Is she safe at home, or is she here too?

I can't bare the thought of her like this and especially while pregnant.

The thought drives me to my knees, breaks me down each time and like always, i stand up, looking around the room again, looking for something, anything that i may have missed the other hundred times i have looked for a way out.

I need to get out of here.

I need to know what is going on.

I am confused, I don't know what happened.

I am beyond angry with myself for leaving the house alone. I have done it many times before and took it for granted that it will be ok, only this time, it wasn't, and for something so stupid.

I let Marianne down, and possibly put her in danger too.

This is completely my fault.

I just hope everyone else is ok, safe.

I have tried to leave, to escape this place, but the chain restraining me is too strong, and all my efforts have left me with a bruised and swollen wrist, probably infected too now.

I tried to shout and scream, but no one hears me, no one comes to help.

I wonder if i have been left here to die, the food i seldom touch, is running out.

I think about who i suspect most to be responsible for this and fail to believe they could really do this to me.

It can't be them, it's has to be someone else and I can already come up with several people more capable of such a thing.

People who would find pleasure in doing this to me?

My worst fear, is not dying here like this, it's not being able to be there for my family, for Marianne like i promised, for our twins..... not knowing if they are safe and not being able to do anything about it.

That kills me.

I just need to know if they are ok.

I stand up and look around. I have to find a way out.

I just have to.

*

Two more days pass.

Two more days in which i am tormented by my thoughts, by anxiety, not knowing what's going on, what's coming next, or when this will end.

I may just have to accept that i may never see my family or Marianne again.

I may never know what happened to them.

*

It's after dark now because the light is gone.

I am lying on the bed in the silence, facing the roof with my eyes closed, when something happens. Something i did not expect, something i lost hope about.

The sound of the door opening gets my attention, and my heart skips a beat.

I am anxious, not sure what i will see walk through the door.

This could mean my freedom, or my end.

The sould of metal and keys giggling lets me know of the tight security employed to keep me in here.

I stand up, ready whatever.

The door opens slowly and my eyes stay glued, waiting.

The sound of shoes hitting the floor reaches my ears, until a figure appears, far off out of reach before me.

"Hello Ange" The voice says out of breath.

A/N. Thanks for following...hope you enjoyed the chapter..please comment and let me know what you think..xoxo.