"We need to talk"

"Right now?" she asks, as her hand lays across my stomach, one of her legs between mine as we lie in an intimate embrace.

I nod, even though i don't want to part from her, i need some distance to focus. So i raise myself up abit to rest my back against the pillows lying against the head board.

"You want to talk, right now?" She asks again, looking up at me now.

I clear my throat.

"Yes"

She frowns.

"Does it have to be right now, right this moment?" she whines.

"Yes baby. I don't think i can wait any longer" I reply.

She slowly sits up, pulling her dress up to cover her chest in the process, and then stretches her arm in order to pull the strap back over her shoulder.

I grab her arm, stoping the movement.

"I said to talk, not get dressed"

"How can we have a serious conversation like this?"she blushes, referring to our basically naked state.

"What's wrong with being naked?"

"I can't take you seriously like this." She chuckles, glancing down at me briefly before meeting my gaze.

"...Come here" I say, pulling her to sit between my open legs with her back to my chest.

"Now you don't have to look at me, better?" I ask.

"Yes, thank you" she murmurs.

She already pulled the dress up to cover her chest, so i slide it back down to her waist again and cup her breasts in my hands, nuzzling her neck a little bit too.

"This is a bad idea"she giggles at my actions. we can mix a bit of business with pleasure, now that i finally have her to myself, i want to enjoy every minute of it.

"What now?" She asks, resting comfortably against my chest, with her hands on my thighs on either side of her.

I lean further back against the pillows, taking her with me in order to get more comfortable and relaxed.

"The thought has been playing on my mind for a while now and I don't have any more patience left to wander anymore. I need to know for sure so that we can take it from there." I say.

"I know.....I want to know too" she replies.

Ok, i didn't expect that....I expected to have to twist her arm a little just to get her to agree.

"Ok....looks like we are on the same page. We can get a test kit from the pharmacy, and take the test here" I suggest.

"Tonight?"she mutters.

"Yes.... the sooner the better, don't you think?"

"I guess" she nods.

I lean over to the side of the bed and grab the phone provided for the room and make a call to receiption, so they can connect me to AJ's room.

"I almost forgot those guys are here too." She murmurs after i cut the call.

We came with two guys for security. One from my team and one from Nicks.

"Why can't we just go and get the test kit ourselves?" She asks.

"Because we have other important things to discuss" I whisper, rubbing up and down her arms.

"So, what scares you most about being pregnant?" I ask, noting her hesitation about finding out tonight.

Personally, i am ready for whatever the results will be. I can't lie, i will be thrilled if indeed she is pregnant, but if she's not, that's ok too. It just means we have a chance to move at the pace she is more comfortable with, either way, as long as we are together, i am good.

"It's not that i don't want to have a baby with you, I do..I want to have your kids...I really do" she murmurs.

"But?" I ask.

"I guess i am just a little scared too" she says.

I pull her from me so that we can look at each other.

"Scared of what? Baby i am right here and will be here with you all the way. I am ready to assume all my responsibilities and will cherish you and our child like you deserve..do you not believe that?" I utter.

"I know......I know...I do feel ok and excited about it, but i also feel abit anxious... i am sorry,, i can't help how i feel...I just....all my life, i just kind of imagined things would happen differently..." She murmurs.

"You wanted to be married first?"

"I would have like to be when it happened yes..... to a man that i love......not for him to be married to someone else at the time" she scoffs, leaning back against my chest.

"What if he wasn't married to someone else, would that make a difference, make it somewhat.....acceptable, desirable for you?"

"But you are not" she counters.

"Are you sure about that?"i ask over her shoulder.

She turns to look at me? The question in her eyes as clear as if she had asked it out loud.

I smile and nod.

"Angelo????"

"Yes baby" I confirm her unspoken question as i push some wet stray baby hair sticking to her face.

"Don't play with me like that....for real?" She asks hastily and i chuckle at her rising excitement.

"......it's done baby....I cut a few corners but.... it's done....." I say, rubbing her should and kissing her lips briefly.

Her eyes open slowly.

"I..I don't know what to say.......how did you sort everything out? the business, and your dad?" She asks, pulling away to face me properly.

"I cut some corners and made a new deal with Denning....it's not convenient, but it will do...Dad has his reservations, but he is trusting that i know what i am doing" I explain.

"And do you know what you are doing?" She quips.

"What? you don't faith in me?" I ask jokingly.

She smiles briefly before her face becomes serious again.

"At what cost? You didn't sacrifice too much to reverse things did you?" She asks thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?"

"I just hope you didn't complicate things just because i gave you such a hard time about it." She says.

"We are worth it, and i don't regret what i have had to do to get us back on track..to get my life back on track ..As long as we are ok, then everything else will fall into place......eventually" I answer honestly.

We both sigh, then smile.

"Look....it doesn't mean that now everything will be as simple as black and white, it won't be pretty initially..I am not planing to hide our relationship, so people will be interested to know everything about us. people will talk once the news is out about us and some of that talk won't be pretty. So i need to know if you are in this with me...." I ask.

She looks thoughtful.

"Marianne, i know i let you down abit, and it seemed like i considered your feelings last and i am sorry for that.....but.that didn't come from lack of affection for you...I just needed to do what i had to do..there are other people in my life too that i need to take care of and....."

"I get that you need to takecare of your family Angelo and i respect that and expect nothing less...I would never expect you to choose me over them and neither would i ask you to, and i also note how incredibly dedicated you are to your work and have observed how your prioritize your responsibilities in your life....so i can't help but wander what will happen if one day you are put in a similar position? Where would that leave me?" She asks and i recognize that as the same question her mom had asked me when i went to see her.

I think about it for a second before responding.

"I can only ask you to trust me when i say that i will never put you in such a position again....I regret hurting you Marianne, more than you know." I confess.

She doesn't respond and looks down.

"Look......i just don't want you to be uncertain of our future together. We love each other, we have this new house we are moving into together soon, and now we possibly have this baby coming, i know what my priorities are and that's what i want to focus on from now on.... Honestly, I feel like everything is just falling into place, don't you think...." I utter happily.

She watches my enthusiasm as i speak and a smile grows on her face.

"Yeah" she agrees but i still sense some reservation.

"You wanted to get married first?" I ask rhetorically.

She looks down at her hands before looking up again.

"Yes, one day i guess.... and you don't?" She asks.

"I respect that and people that are married or want to get married..and to be fair, i wanted to get married too at some point in my life, even though i wasn't a firm believer in the institution, i thought it would fix some of the problems i had in my relationship, but i realised over time what a great mistake that would have been.... Now i am more convinced than ever that it doesn't guarantee that the relationship will stick and only complicates things.

I see it everyday with the people all around me, the people coming to our offices. They get carried away with lust and infatuation and lose their heads and rush into getting married. Then the next day somebody changes and someone always does...then the love disappears..then the divorce comes accompanied by complicated legal battles.

I see people date for years, and the minute they get married, things change and they only stay together under pretence, and those not willing to pretend get divorced. So what's the point." I finish rambling.

"Right......" She murmurs softly, as she takes in what i have just said.

I look at her and notice the dissapointment on her face at our opposing views.

"I am sorry, i am only being honest and truthful with you about how i see things..however, if you ask me, do i want to spend my life with you? yes, do i want to start a family with you? absolutely, without a doubt......but i just don't think getting married will add anything significant to our relationship that we can't achieve otherwise" I explain.

She stays quiet.

"Are you upset?"I ask, after the silence stretches.

"No, i appreciate you for being honest with me...and i understand and respect your point of view." She says.

"You just don't feel the same way" I ask rhetorically again.

"No...." she says bluntantly.

"Is this going to be a problem between us?" I ask.

"Technically, we are still getting to know each other, right? we haven't known each other that long, and is what happens when a couple is dating, they learn things about each other that lets them know if they are compatible or not, which is why i keep insisting it's better to take things slow" she utters.

"You think we are not compatible?"

"I don't know?" She shrugs.

"Do you love me?"I ask.

"That's not....."

".......Do you love me or not babe?" I ask softly,

"Yes..you know i do" she murmurs.

"Then what does love mean to you?"

"What?" She looks at me baffled as if i am going crazy and i withhold a laugh.

"What does it mean to you to love someone? Because to me, it means accepting them for who they really are, it's means taking the good as well as the bad, it means making compromises and ......."

"Compromises? You mean like i did with you when you married Claire? i was angry, but i still stayed with you. And i came here still believing you two are married, why? Because i love you. How about me living with you in your apartment and then also agreeing to move in with you into the new house despite the fact that it goes against everything i believe in about cohabiting. Does that count as compromising? Because i think i have made alot of compromises Angelo...Why don't you tell me some of the compromises your love has made you do for our relationship" She mutters.

I consider her question, looking for the right words to say so not to agitate her.

"I thought so" she says, when i don't answer quickly enough and adjusts her dress, then walks to the bathroom.

I put on my boxer briefs while i wait. She walks out a few minutes later with her dress on properly again.

"I didn't mean you haven't made compromises for our relationship, i am very much aware and appreciative of the sacrifices you have made.....you asked for my opinion and i just gave it....." I say, looking for better ways to express my point.

She walks around the room and i am not sure what she is looking for.

I stand up and walk to her.

"Marianne, why are you getting upset?" I ask softly, grabbing her hand.

"I am not..." she shrugs.

"If it's something that would make you happy, then i would consider doing it?" I say.

She looks at me briefly, then without saying anything, side steps me and walks towards the door.

"I am going to the pharmacy...AJ is taking too long" she utters before shutting the door behind her.

*

The air is cool as i walk outside to the reception where i intend to ask for directions to the pharmacy.

I don't know what time it is, but i am guessing sometime after 7pm. My feet hurt and feel swollen, it's like they have a pulse of their own and i realise, i haven't taken them off since this morning. The straps will probably leave marks.

As i walk, i come across some resort stuff members and they point me in the right direction without me having to go to the main building after all.

The scenery is great, it's all trees and plants and ponds everywhere i look and at some point, i can't help but stop and admire the fish in the clear waters of the ponds.

After a while, i start walking again and think about my conversation with Angelo.

I don't know why i feel mad at him when he was just being honest about how he feels. I definitely appreciate that we have always been able to communicate with each other openly. I cherish that about us.

And it just now occured to me that being in love with someone doesn't mean that you will automatically want the same things.

We are two adults, with different upbringings and different points of views on life.

To me, marriage is something that is important, i never imagined having a family outside that, but that's clearly something he doesn't believe in and it worries me. It may not be now, but surely someday i want to be married.

And every thing i want for my future, i want it with him. But so far i feel like i am the only one making compromises, while he just gets to bulldoze his way into getting whatever he wants all the time and i let him....why, because i love him?...it's not really fair...why should i be the only one making compromises.

At the same time, i don't want him to do it under duress either. I want him to want it too? Is that too much to ask for?

"Hi" I murmur after walking into the pharmacy.

"Good evening...how can i help you"? Asks the young man behind the counter, who i pressume to be the pharmacist.

I look around to see who else is in the shop and realise i am the only customer right now.

"Yeah...uhmmm...do you have..... pregnancy test kits?"I mumble feeling red as a tomato.

"Yes....aisle four" he points.

"Thanks."

I walk to the aisle and notice they have about three different brands.

I try to read what's on the covers in order to decide which one to get.

I look at them completely clueless on what to look out for because they seem pretty similar.

"Are you ok back there, do you need any help?" He asks after a while."

"Yes" I chuckle.

"....Perhaps you can help me" I mumble.

He comes over to where i am.

"Ok..here we are.....Any idea which one you want?" He asks, noticing the three i have in my hands.

"Which one is the best?" I ask.

"Well, it depends, they are more or less the same, but......." He starts to explain some stuff but i am far to nervous to understand and after a minute he notices my lack of attention.

" Which one do you recommend?" A voice asks behind me and i realise that's the reason he stopped talking.

"Either one of these two" he says.

"Give us both" Angelo murmurs, placing his hand on my shoulder.

The pharmacist looks as me for confirmation and i nod at him.

Angelo takes my hand in his as we walk to the counter after him.

Then he grabs the small packet over the counter with our contents in it, after paying for them and takes my hand again.

"The instructions are pretty clear, so you should be ok." Says the pharmacist.

"Thank you" I murmur as we turn around to leave.

We step out of the shop and into the evening breeze that is exaggerated by all these trees and plants. I notice it has become even darker too now.

We walk around slowly, quietly, aimlessly, not in a rush to get back to the room.

I can't help but appreciate the scenery still. The trees and plants are decorated with latens and lights, basically making it just so intoxicatingly romantic.

"Do you want to sit down?" Angelo asks, breaking the silence, when we find ourself on the pier with the view of the water in front of us.

"Yes" I murmur, sitting down.

We share another comfortable silence for a minute or two, then he turns so that he is facing me abit.

"Marianne, what do you want?" He asks, his fingers brushing my shoulder.

I don't know how to properly express what i am feeling without him misunderstanding me.

"I think there is just a certain way things should flow.....you meet someone you like, you date so you can get to know each other,then you fall in love, then you get married and then you have kids.....why do you make me feel like i am crazy and unreasonable for wanting it to be like that? " I ask.

He takes his time to respond, first staring out, as the water hits the rocks in front of us.

"Is the order of occurance so important to you?" He asks.

"I am not asking you to marry me or anything....it would be nice though, just to know if that will always be your position on the matter" I ask.

"I want you to know that you have made me incredibly happy and filled a void in me i thought would always remain empty. My life is different with you in it. You have given me hope, zeal and more importantly a peace of mind i have never felt before. I am satisfied and content to be with you no matter what we are doing...even if it is arguing.

From that night we met again at the party you crushed, you filled my life up like a missing puzzle piece, and i know you felt it too. That's why i completely disagree with you... I think you and i are completely compatible, evenly matched. We challenge and balance each other out well. Infact, i am ABSOLUTELY sure that i am the best man for you, infact,i think you are very lucky to have me" he says, and we both chuckle at his arrogance.