I burst through the front door and ran towards Livie's room.

Oh god.

Please be there.

Please...

I opened her door not bothering to knock and found the bed empty.

I went to the twins' playroom next, and it was empty. I went through every room and found the rooms empty. No sign of the twins or Livie.

"Fuck!" How can you be so damn stupid and careless, I scolded myself.

I should have gotten rid of those papers... No, I shook my head. I shouldn't have had them drawn, and I shouldn't have allowed Livie to sign them.

I had this nagging feeling all throughout the day at the office. I couldn't quite put it, then when I finally realized it, I hurried home, but fuck I'm too late.

They're gone.

I burst through my study and stopped on my tracks when I saw Livie sitting there.

"Livie..." I whispered.

She didn't look at me.

My heart thundered in my chest.

My eyes grew misty.

She was holding some papers... Without a doubt I knew it was the papers I asked her to sign... She knows...

Fuck!

"You know, Lucas... Every time I tell myself that there is nothing more you could do to hurt me, you keep proving me wrong," she said coldly.

"Livie," I took a step towards her but she stopped me.

"Don't. Don't come near," she hissed without looking at me.

"Livie... Baby, please..." I said brokenly and that's when she looked up.

I winced.

My gut clenched and my heart squeezed the air out of me.

Her face was pale and drawn in pain. Her eyes were red and puffy.

How long has she been crying?

Helplessness gripped me. All I wanted to do was wrap her in my arms and beg for her forgiveness, but the look she gave me, stopped me.

"When did you have these papers drawn? Before or after the first time I asked you if you trusted me?" She asked.

I winced and clenched my teeth tightly.

She laughed. A sardonic laugh. "Even then we had no chance. And yet when you proposed to me, I asked you again if you trusted me and you said yes. God... What a fool I've been!"

"Livie... Let me explain. Please," he begged.

"Explain? You're asking me to listen to you? Why?" She asked. "Why should I listen to you?"

"Livie you don't understand..."

"You're right. I don't," she let out a shaky laugh. "I don't understand how you were able to convince me that we could make it work between us. I actually thought that I could stay with you. That the past doesn't matter. I did myself a huge disservice."

"Livie..."

"This," she said as she waved the documents in her hands. "this says everything I need to know. You don't trust me. You never did! But I... I trusted you. I trusted you even when I shouldn't have. And you knew that. You knew I trusted you. You knew that I wouldn't read these documents and you used that against me. But I guess the blame is on me. I should have known better. Any sane person knows that they should never sign papers without reading them."

"Livie, I just wanted to be sure that you wouldn't leave me. I knew... I knew that if leaving me meant that you lose the kids, then I can be sure that you wouldn't leave me," I tried to explain.

"Leave you? I wouldn't have!" She screamed at me.

"But you will. You said so in the hospital," I argued.

"I wasn't planning on leaving you when I signed those document. I wasn't planning on leaving before. I meant it when I said yes to your proposal."

"Then what happened? Explain it to me? What changed?"

She looked at me with pain-filled

eyes. "I couldn't pretend anymore..." She said dejectedly, as the tears rolled down her cheeks. "I couldn't pretend that I don't care about the past... That I don't care about what your friends and family think of me... And that you thinking the worst of me doesn't matter, as long as you and I were together," she explained. "But most of all, I wanted the the best for our sons. I wanted to give them a chance at having both parents."

"I agreed to what you wanted because I was so in love with you. I love you so much that I was willing to settle. I love you so damn much, that I was willing to live with the pain, if it meant I got to be with you," she cried out. "But I've been so wrong."

I flinched at the pain in her eyes, and the heaviness of her words.

"I don't know if you notice it at all, the way that your brothers and your friends look at me. But they look at me with such distaste and disapproval because of something they think I've done. They look at me with indifference while they look at you with admiration. Admiration for being able to look past my betrayal... For taking me back. Then that's when it hit me. I don't deserve any of it. I don't deserve their hostility and their judging looks," she said. "I don't deserve your anger and mistrust either," she added. "And right before we left that night. Do you remember what you said to me?" She asked.

I nodded. "I said, I forgive you."

She laughed. "that's right. You forgave me. You forgave me for something I didn't even do!" she said as tears ran endlessly down her cheeks. "I tried to tell you the truth. Again. Even though I was so terrified that you're not going to believe me. It killed me the last time. I couldn't go through that again, but when you said that you forgive me, I couldn't... I couldn't swallow it, because you're the one who should be asking for my forgiveness! You're the one who betrayed me in the worst way possible," She said as rage flared in her eyes.

I staggered back at her words. "I don't understand..."

"You wouldn't listen that night," she sobbed out. "You wouldn't listen to me!"

"Livie..." I said painfully.

Oh god. Something was wrong... Something was terribly wrong...

"I tried to tell you, but you...but you...you wouldn't listen to...to me," she stammered out as she sobbed uncontrollably.

"Livie..."

"He raped me!" She screamed at me. "Nick... He raped me," she cried out.

He raped me!" I screamed at him. "Nick... He raped me," I cried out the words I couldn't bring myself to say to him.

His face paled.

I felt my heart shatter once again and as memories of that night assaulted me, I felt like Nick was raping me all over again, but I couldn't possibly stop now.

I felt my heart dropped to the floor at her outburst.

Oh god. Oh god... Noooo...

I saw the pain and truth in her eyes, and I knew... I knew I had made a terrible mistake.

I wanted to vomit. I felt so sick.

Rage and fury cursed through me... Dread consumed me.

The realization of just what I had done and what really happened to Livie, threatened to completely unravel me.

"I begged you to listen. I begged you... I got down on my knees in front of you, and begged you to listen, but you wouldn't. You wouldn't even look at me. If you had just looked at me that night, you would have seen... You would have seen the way I looked. My clothes, my face, my hair. The blood on my face from him slapping me, because I was fighting him off like hell."

My tears rolled down my cheeks.

"He told me that that's what you would say. He told me everything and laid it out for me and I didn't think he had any reason to lie..." I broke off. "Oh god, Livie..."

What have I done?

I felt so sick that night after hearing Nick's lies. But this... Nothing could compare to the way I feel now... Nothing...

"He is good isn't he?" She gave a bitter laugh. "So good at lying that I believed him. He forced himself on me. He told me that you were running late and that you asked him to pick me up. I asked why you didn't tell me yourself and he made some lame excuse and I believed him. I believed him because he was your best friend. He was already outside the studio and asked me to unlock it and let him in... and when I did, I knew I made a mistake," she explained. "I was already feeling off about the whole thing, and if I had just listened to my gut, none of this would have happened!" She cried out.

"Livie..." I tried to say something again, but she just kept on going.

"I could smell alcohol on him. I said I would call you, but he lunged at me and we tumbled down to the floor and he grabbed my cell..." She sobbed.

"Livie... You don't have to do this..." I tried to say, but she continued.

"He ripped my blouse open. I kept begging him to stop. I screamed. I yelled. I begged him to stop, but he wouldn't," she sobbed out. "He slapped me so hard, I thought I was going to pass out, but I just kept fighting. I tried so hard to fight him, but he was too strong. God knows I fought him as hard as I could... But I just couldn't..." she said shakily. "I closed my eyes the whole time... I didn't want to see him. I cried, I kept begging him to stop, but he wouldn't..." Livie forced through her tears.

I was shaking with rage as I listened to her tell me what that fucking animal did to her! The man I thought of as my brother.

Fuck!

"All I could think about was you. All I could think about was getting to you so you can make it right," she said to me.

My tears were blinding me, and I felt like I was being gutted.

"When he was finished I told him I would tell you what he did to me, and he laughed in my face. He laughed and told me that you wouldn't believe me. But I told him that he was wrong. I told him that you loved me and that means you trusted me. I told him you would believe me and that you'd make him pay. I told him you'd make it right..." She cried

My own tears were continuously rolling down my face.

"He said that even the police wouldn't believe me because I was a nobody, while he was the son of a senator. But I said that it didn't matter because you would believe me and make sure that he pays for what he did to me. He laughed again and told me that he'll make sure that you won't believe me... but I believed in you. In us, so what he said didn't matter," she let out a bitter laugh. " but I was wrong."

The knot in my stomach and my chest clenched tightly, I couldn't breathe.

"He was right. You didn't believe me. You wouldn't listen to me. You tossed me out like a piece of garbage. You attacked me with his words and all I said was yes that's exactly what he said he'd say to you so you wouldn't believe me and you misunderstood. All you heard was the word yes, and that was it. You went off the rails. I was trying to tell you the truth, but you wouldn't even let me speak!"

I thought back to that night... oh god... She was right, all I heard was the words yes and that was it. I've been dreading thinking back on this because I was afraid... I was afraid of the truth. The truth that has been staring me in the face.

"I guess, I'm partly to blame, I should have blurred out that he raped, but how could I? I wanted to die after what he did to me. I couldn't... I couldn't say it, because saying it would make it real. I was so scared and so confused. I wasn't thinking straight after what he did to me. I felt so dirty... I wanted him to kill me. The whole time he was raping I wanted to die, but then you were in my head, I knew I had to fight, because I had you and you would make things okay. But I was wrong. I thought you knew me well enough to know that I couldn't have done what he was saying. You were my first. The only man I trusted with my heart and my body. I thought that meant something," she cried.

"I'm so sorry, Livie. Oh god... Sweetheart, I'm so damn sorry. I believe you..."

She laughed bitterly. "But you didn't believe me when it mattered. I needed you then. I needed you to believe me and protect me then. Now your belief means nothing," she said. "He raped me! He violated me! He hurt me..." She broke off, as another sob erupted from her.

What have I fucking done?

"But even after all of that. I thought you just needed time, and that you'd realize that I couldn't possibly do what Nick said I did. So I waited. I waited for you. I stayed where you can find me, but you didn't come for me. So I tried to come to you again, and beg you to listen. I hoped that you would, but when I got to your house two weeks later, you're car pulled into the driveway and you stepped out, but you weren't alone. You were with Caroline, and I saw her. I saw her kiss you!"

Oh god. What she must have thought? Worse... What she must have felt seeing that...

"Nothing happened. It wasn't like that. She was in trouble and I offered to help, she kissed me by surprise, I swear it Livie..."

"It doesn't really matter anymore whether you were with her that night or not. I don't care about her."

"Livie..."

She buried her face in her hands as she cried. Her whole body was racked with sobs.

Anger, rage, fury, grief, pain... They were all cursing and tearing through me. I wanted to wrap her in my arms, but I knew it would not be welcomed, so I stood my ground.

"I should have been able to come to you," she said brokely. "How could you? How could you not believe me? You said you loved me. Out of everyone in the world, you should have been the one to believe me. You should have been the one to protect me. I was so happy that day because I get to tell you the news. I just found out that I was pregnant and I couldn't wait to tell you. But just like that, Nick stole my happiness away. He stole my dreams that night and turned it into a horrible nightmare. A nightmare I had to live through for two years. I couldn't tell anyone about what happened because I didn't think I could survive it again... not being believed. I kept

thinking how could a stranger believe me when the man who was supposed to love me didn't," she cried. "Do you know what that does to a person who survived an attack like that? It kills, Luke. It kills a person's soul. It killed me, but then I was pregnant. So I knew I had to live. I had to save a part of me... So I buried it. Pretended it didn't happen. Because it didn't. Not to you. I cheated on you. that's what happened. That's what he said, so that's the truth. Because you trusted him."

"I just... I'm sorry... I... He was like a brother to me... I didn't think..."

"That he could do that you?" She finished for me.

I stared at her completely speechless.

"And you thought I could? Why? Because you haven't known me that long?"

"No, Livie...," I tried to take a step forward.

"No! Don't come near me," She hissed. "You don't get to touch me again!"

"Livie please. I love you. I'm so sorry," my voice cracked.

"Love means trust. A person who loves, trusts. And we don't have that. I told you. I told you the first time I asked you if you trusted me... I told you that if you didn't we had no chance..."

"Livie, please don't do this."

"I didn't do this... You did. These papers just proves how wrong I was about you... About us... You just ripped my heart out all over again."

"Livie, I wasn't going to go through with it. I realized it even before you signed it. I was just so scared of you leaving me. Our relationship wasn't strong enough at the time and I knew that, that's why I made you sign those papers. I knew you wouldn't leave me if I had custody of our twins. But believe me... Please believe me, I was going to destroy them. I really was..."

"It doesn't matter. The point is that you did. It's done. It can't be undone just because you had a change of heart. You were so big on moving on and forgetting the past, when all this time, you were just manipulating me to get your way. I can't be with you," she shook hear head. "No... I don't want to be with you. I don't want to be with someone who thinks so little of me. Most of all, I don't want to be with someone I can't count on."

"Livie..."

"I won't stop you from seeing the twins and being a part of their lives. But you and I... We're done."

"Livie, please. I love you..."

I shook my head. "No. I love you," I emphasized. I love you, so I trusted you, but you let me fall."

"Please..."

"Love isn't supposed to hurt this much. Loving you is only hurting me. Can't you see, Luke? We had no chance from the very beginning, because you didn't trust me, but it's not just you. I didn't trust you either. I didn't trust that you would listen to me this time. I was afraid that you wouldn't believe me and I'd wake up from this dream we're living now. I wanted to continue pretending so that you wouldn't kill what's left of me. But now I'm done pretending. I don't want to pretend that I wasn't raped. I don't want to pretend that you didn't betray me."

"I will do anything and everything. He'll pay for what he did. I love you. I can't live without you again... You once got on your knees and begged me. I'll do the same. I'll get on my knees and beg you everyday until you forgive me..."

"It won't work. You have no idea how much I'm hurting right now. I came back here with you not just because you threatened me, but also because a part of me hoped we could be a family. I saw how much you cared and loved the twins and I told myself not to judge you based on our past. And I genuinely hoped that, that's going to be enough, but I was wrong. I can't be with you, Luke... I can't be with you because my heart will continue to break every second I'm with you," she said brokenly. "I don't trust you, and I can't be with someone I don't trust."

"I can't live without you, Livie..."

She shook her head. "I want to be honest with you... You have no idea how much I want to be with you and tell you that I still love you, but every time I allow myself to feel how much I love you, it hurts. I can't help but feel and relive all the pain I felt and still feel inside," she forced through her tears. "I tried to push it away and continue pretending for the sake of our kids, but pushing and wishing it was doesn't make it go away. It only buries it deeper. Now we're here. It's all out and I can't just bottled in all back in."

I was rendered speechless, and all I could do was stare at her.

She looked at me, as her tears continued to roll down her cheeks. "I want the pain to go away, Lucas..." she whispered brokenly. "I want my heart to stop breaking. I don't like feeling this way... I feel like I'm dying inside."

"What can I do?" I asked in a sob.

"Respect my decision and let me go..."

"How can I let you go this time, when it destroyed the last time? I asked.

"Once, I gave you everything, but you left me with nothing..."

"Livie..."

"It's about time that you give me what I want and need."

I sobbed.

"Please, Luke... let me go," she begged.

"I'm not giving up. I'm going to give you the time you need, but I'll be here waiting. I'll wait no matter how long it takes," I said. "I'll prove to you that you can trust me."

"I'm sorry, Luke. I just can't..."

"I'm going to make this right, Livie. I'm going to make him pay for what he did to you," I said and rushed out the door.

"Luke," Livie called after me but I ignored her.

"Luke stop!"

I stopped and turned back around.

"Where are you going? What are you going to do?" She asked.

"Something that I should have done a long time ago," I said.

She continued to call after me, but I kept going.

Nick will pay for what he did.