Four days turned to five, then a week. Every time, they reduced her sedation, but she seemed to be having trouble and fighting against the ventilator, so they would increase her sedation back up again. But even so, according to the doctors, she was doing well and her vitals were stable and improving. But none of their words comforted me.

Watching Livie laying there was too much. I won't be satisfied until she wakes and I hear her voice again.

I refused to leave Livie's side for anything longer than the hour that it takes to run back home, shower, and get back to the hospital.

My brothers and our friends took turn bringing me food to eat.

By the second week they were able to reduce her sedation, and thankfully she didn't fight it this time.

A couple days later her eyes flickered open, then close again. She was asleep more than she was awake during the next few days.

Then finally another two days later, she opened her eyes and her gaze landed on me.

I smiled. "Livie," I whispered. "You're okay. I'm right here. Just rest."

She simply stated right back at me.

Does she recognize me?

Before I could say anything else, she fell back asleep.

"Sleep sweetheart. I need you fully awake when I tell you how sorry I am and how much I love you," I said.

There was so many things I wanted to say, but I know that now is not the right time. She needs rest and more time to heal. My priority right now is to make her feel as comfortable as she can be.

After another two days she was completely taken off sedation and she no longer needed to be on the ventilator because she was already breathing on her own.

I heard a groan then her eyes fluttered open.

"Ara, she's waking up," I said to Ara, who was taking out some food from the bag.

I pressed the call button, and informed the nurses that Livie was awake.

She immediately walked over to the hospital bed.

"Hey, it's good to see you fully awake," Ara said.

Livie gave her a small smile.

"Hi, sweetheart," I said, my voice laced with heavy emotion.

She pulled her hand away from my grasp.

Fear gripped me, but I pushed it aside.

"Livie..." I started to say but before I could finish, Livie asked me to leave.

"Please leave," she croaked out.

"Livie..."

"I want you to leave," she said again.

"Ara, please..." She started to sob, then she groaned in pain.

"Sweetheart just relax..."

"Make him leave," Livie said.

"Luke, I think you should go. It's fine. I won't leave her," Ara said.

"But..."

"Luke please. This is not good for her. You can talk to her later, but right now she needs you to leave," Ara said firmly.

I swallowed hard and nodded.

"I'm going to be right outside. I'm not giving up on us, Livie. I want you to know that," I said before leaving.

"Shh, you need to calm down, Liv," Ara said.

"I can't be around him," I said. "I don't know why I was so stupid to believe, and even think that we can be together," I said.

"Shh... Right now all you need to worry about is getting better," Ara said as she comforted me.

"The twins. Jarred and Jaydan..."

"Calm down, Liv. They are fine. They are well taken care of. They need you to be strong to get well soon, so try to relax. The faster you recuperate, the sooner you'll get to be with them," she said.

I nodded.

Ara is right. I need to focus on getting better. Stressing about everything is not going to help.

The nurses and the doctor came in a couple minutes later and has explained to me, what had happened.

I was confused at first about what really happened. I remembered what happened right before the accident, but everything else after that was a blur.

I remember someone was yelling my name... I recognized the voice. It was Lucas.

I didn't know how long I was out. All I know is that my body hurts everywhere.

The doctor said that they wanted to keep me for at least a few more days, to make sure I was well enough before I could be discharged.

So far I'm on the right track to making a full recovery. I just need to take it easy, and not exert so much stress on my body.

"Zarah wants to visit you so badly, but being in the hospital is not advisable in her condition. She argued and protested, but in the end, she relented, as long as Jason sends her updates on your condition when he visits."

"He visited me?" I asked in surprise.

"Yeah. He comes to see you everyday. The men take turn during the day. Ethan even took a few days off to stay with Luke during the first few days you were here."

"Ethan did that?"

Ara nodded. "Yeah."

I was rendered speechless by that information.

Even though things aren't the same for Ethan and I after what happened... I do miss him. He was like a brother to me, and he has always been kind and caring towards me. If only he...

No. Don't go there, Olivia! I told myself.

"Luke is outside, he hasn't left since you told him to leave a few days ago. He's just waiting for you to tell him to come in. He asks questions though and..."

"I can't..."

She nodded. "I understand."

"I don't know what happened to me. It was just too much. That night. Everybody... The way they looked at me, and the pitying glances and look of disbelief they sent his way, was just too much," I admitted.

"That's why you ran?"

I nodded. "And also because I suddenly couldn't keep it in any longer. I couldn't pretend anymore. What Nick did to me? The memories? They all came rushing back, and suddenly I felt like it was happening all over again. I was so overwhelmed. I can't explain it. I just," my voice cracked.

"Shh... It's going to be okay Liv. You're not alone. Take your time, and talk to Lucas when you're ready."

I shook my head. "I told him you know. Told him the truth, that I didn't sleep with him. I finally got the words out and took him by surprise..." I let out an incredulous chuckle. "He didn't believe me. Told me he has already forgiven me and I didn't need to lie," I sobbed. "Those aren't the words of a man who loves you. Because a person who loves, trusts," I cried out.

"Shh, Liv, you need to calm down. This isn't good for you." She squeezed my hand in comfort.

"How do I survive this?"

"Oh, sweetie," she hushed as she hugged me.

***

Later that evening, a nurse came by to check up on me.

"You're a very lucky girl. You're fiancé never left your side this whole time. He must love you very much," the nurse said.

I forced out a smile. "Is he still out there?" I asked.

"Yes. He's right outside your door. He never leaves. He just sits there."

"Would you mind telling him to come in please?" I asked the nurse.

"Sure thing," she said.

A few moments later, Lucas came in.

He looked tired and a little disheveled. His hands were tucked into the pocket of his jeans.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," I said flatly.

"I heard you can come home in two days," he said.

I nodded and sighed. "Lucas, go home. There's no need for you to stay out there. The twins need you more," I said.

"I come and see them, so you don't have to worry."

"When? The nurse said you never leave," I said.

"I leave once you're asleep, then I come back early in the morning," he said.

"Lucas..."

"Livie I know that we have a lot to talk about..."

"We don't," I interrupted. "We have nothing left to talk about."

"We have a lot to talk about. I meant what I said. I'm not giving up on us. I don't know what happened during dinner, but whatever it is we can talk about it and fix it."

"Lucas, we can't and I'm not coming home with you," I said.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't marry you. I won't stop you from seeing the twins and being a father to them, but we can't be together, Luke. I just can't do it and pretend that everything between us will be okay."

"Livie, don't. We can talk about this. We can work things out," he argued.

"No we can't."

"Where will you stay? You need help. You're still recovering from the accident. The doctor said that you need to take it easy and there has to be someone to assist you..."

"Zarah offered to help me. She..."

"She's pregnant. She can't tend to all your needs. Livie, please."

"Luke I can't. I can't be around you."

He staggered back at my words. "You really mean that? You really want to end things between us?"

No. Yes. No... I wanted to say.

Tears pricked my eyes. But I can't give in again.

I nodded. "You were the one who ended things between us, Lucas. Two years ago." I pointed out.

Lucas looked like he wanted to say something else, but didn't. Instead he sighed and looked at me for a few seconds before he said, "Okay. But at least wait until you have fully recovered. You need help Livie. You'll recover faster with me and Gail there to help you with the twins and your recovery. And after that, once you're able to take care of yourself and the twins, then I'll let you go."

I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Luke..."

"If seeing me is the only thing that's stopping you, then fine. You won't see me. I'll make sure of that," he said.

"Luke it's your house. I don't want you tip toeing your way around your own house."

"I don't care. If that's what it takes for you to accept my offer then I'll do it."

"Luke..."

"Why do you keep calling me that?"

"Calling you what?"

"Luke!"

I shrugged. "It's your name," I simply said. But the truth is, I call him that in a way of distancing myself from him emotionally. I called him Lucas because it was special. He was special to me. It was a term of endearment.

He simply stared back at me in return.

Pain was written all over his face. "Why are you trying to wound me?"

Because it hurts too much. I'm trying to protect myself from all the pain... I wanted to say, but instead, I said, "I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm just being honest with how I feel and what I want."

"Livie, I lo..."

I flinched. I know what he was going to say. "Don't! Don't Luke. Don't say it. It's too late for that."

He nodded in defeat. "I don't know what to say or do anymore, Livie. Just... Just please think about what I said. Please accept my help," he said and left.

Once the door was closed, I burst into tears.

It's for the best, I told myself.