《His Heart's Desire (Book 2 in His Heart's Series)》Chapter 24
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I stayed quiet the whole ride to the hotel. Lucas didn't seem to mind. He seemed to be content holding my hand as we sat next to each other.
I wanted to weep, scream, lash out. I wanted to do something just to take away the pain I was feeling inside.
I felt like a ticking time bomb...just waiting to explode.
Lucas kept on playing with the ring on my finger. I looked down at the ring he gave me and somehow it has lost its meaning.
"We're here," he said breaking the unnerving silence between us.
I swallowed the lump in my throat.
Lucas helped me out of the car and ushered me inside the hotel to the restaurant.
His friends and family were all there when we arrived inside. We were ushered to a private table at the back.
Zarah, Ellie, and Ara all offered me an encouraging and welcoming smile, and I returned their smile with the all the warmth I can manage at the moment.
"Thanks for coming everyone. You all remember Olivia, except you Elize. I would like you to meet my fiancé Olivia Marie Lazos. Olivia, this is Elize Jean Simmons, Anthony's wife."
There were surprised gasps from some people at the table, as well as disbelief, horror, and disapproval on his friends, and brother's faces... Ethan's face. Jason doesn't seem at all surprised, nor did he look put off.
I swallowed the anger and the sob that bubbled in my throat.
"It's nice to meet you and congratulations," she said with a warm and sincere smile. I guess she doesn't know.
I will my voice to speak and ignored the look on everyone's faces. "Thank you. It's nice to meet you as well," I said.
All the men, remained silent except for the women and Jason, who offered their congratulations, Zarah was seated to my right, and she gave my hand a comforting squeeze.
I turned to her and smiled gratefully.
Ara and Ellie also sent me an encouraging smile.
I smiled back.
"You must be very happy," Anthony said, his voice laced with innuendo and malice.
I clenched my fists at my side.
"We both are," Lucas said, as he pulled me close to his side.
"How are you doing Olivia?" Massimo asked politely.
"I'm alright," I said.
After the initial shock and awkwardness, they resumed chatting about everything else.
"Are you okay, Liv?" Zarah asked.
I swallowed hard and nodded.
Lucas talked to his friends as I sat beside him watching everyone else around me. Aside from Ara, Ellie, and Zarah, no one even noticed or even tried to include me in their conversations. His friends and family were merely tolerating me for his sake. They were being polite because that's how they were raised as men with power and money.
The silent questions and comments they were sending Lucas' way was obvious. They all had the same look that said, are you crazy? What's the matter with you? Are you sure? But that's not the worse of it. It was the looks of pity they sent his way, while they sent me looks of distaste and complete disapproval.
I couldn't even swallow the food in front of me. Even the water tasted bitter in my mouth. My appetite was long gone before we even arrived, and was turned upside down, the moment Lucas announced and introduced me as his fiancé.
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I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. I didn't want to be here, in this hell and be subjected to this.
What am I doing?
I don't deserve this.
I deserve better...
I do... I deserve better...
Oh god... What am I doing here?
Why am I putting up with this?
I look around the table once more, and realized that I shouldn't have allowed this to get this far.
When my gaze landed on Ethan, he was looking right back at me. Coldly.
I looked him straight in the eyes.
"Liv?"
I turned to Zarah.
I shook my head.
Suddenly everything was out. The memories, the anger, the resentment, the pain, everything I've tried so hard to ignore and forget, they've surfaced and there's no way to bottle it all back in.
Flashes of Nick and the rape kept playing like a replay in my head.
I was going to be sick...
I closed my eyes... Tears streamed down my face.
I wanted to escape. All I wanted now was to escape and go somewhere where I could forget about the pain.
I pushed my chair back and stood up abruptly.
The chatter around me died immediately.
"Livie?" Lucas got up and reached his hand out to me.
"Don't touch me!" I hissed.
"Livie?"
All I could here was the echo of his voice.
I shook my head and turned around and ran... Ignoring the voice that was calling out to me.
I ran. I didn't stop. I just ran, as fast as my heels would allow.
I stopped for a few seconds and quickly removed my heels, and continued running.
I turned into the corner, and suddenly it was bright. The brightness was blinding.
Then I heard a voice yelled out my name in horror.
I felt like I was flying through the air.
I could hear him calling out to me, but he seemed so far away.
Then blackness surrounded me.
"Livie!" I called out to her and ignored the glances the people threw my way. I don't give a damn. All I care about is catching up to Livie.
What the hell happened?
"Livie!"
She was outside and was still running, then suddenly there was a car as she turned around the corner.
Shock, fear, and horror gripped me.
"Livie!" I yelled out her name.
Oh god no. Please. Oh god.
"Livie!" I kept on yelling for her, but I was too late.
The car hit her in a sickening thud and tossed her into the air. She landed on the wind shield then rolled back down onto the ground like a ragged doll.
My knees buckled.
I found it hard to breathe.
I watched her body roll around the ground, then she stopped rolling with her face down on the ground.
"No-ooo," I yelled as I ran towards her.
"Livie!"
Then suddenly strong hands were around me.
"Don't touch her, Luke. Don't touch her, she could have broken her neck." I recognized the voice. It was Jason, then suddenly Ethan was there too, helping Jason hold me back.
"Livie," I cried out. "Oh god. Call for help!"
"Mass is on it."
"I need to get to her," I said as I try to escape their hold on me.
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Everything happened so fast. Everyone one around me seemed like it was happening in slow motion.
The women were shocked and I could hear them crying.
"Luke, you can't touch her," Jason said.
"It's my fault. I told her it would be okay. I convinced her that coming tonight would be alright because I'd be beside her."
"Luke stop. This wasn't your fault."
I heard the sirens approaching, but it was all a blur. It felt like I was watching myself relive what was happening around me.
"How bad does it look?" I asked.
"Do you know her?"
I nodded. "She's my fiancé."
"It's hard to know right now. We've got a pulse. Though her breathing is laboured, she's breathing on her own, so that's a good sign. We need to get her to the hospital quickly," one of the paramedics said.
"I'm coming with her."
The paramedic nodded.
"We'll follow behind," my brother, Jason said.
The next several hours was a blur. The doctor said that her injuries weren't life threatening, but they were severe. She had broken bones in her right arm and shoulder, and her right leg. She has some broken ribs and had a raptured lung. There was also a mild head trauma. Because of the severity of her injuries, they would have to keep her heavily sedated and intubated for days, maybe weeks, depending on her body. They assured me that based on the scans they did, she shouldn't have any permanent brain damage.
I walked back out to the waiting room.
"How is she?" Jason asked.
"They had to sedate her to allow her body to heal. She has broken bones all over her body. A punctured lung... You name it," I said.
"Luke none of this is your fault," he said.
"Yeah? Say that to Livie. Say that to the woman I love, laying in there, fighting for her life!"
"Luke..."
"Stop. Nothing you say will make it okay. All I need right now is Livie. I need her to be okay," I broke off in sobs.
Jason wrapped me in a tight hug.
I told everyone to head home, especially Zarah. It's not good for her to be in this environment. The men forced their wives to head home, and after a few protests, they finally agreed.
Anthony and Elize bid their goodbyes and promised to be back in the morning.
Massimo and Ara, Marco and Ellie hugged me, then left as well. They promised to be back in the morning.
Zarah walked over to me, and squeezed my hand.
I nodded. "Thanks."
"Listen, Luke. I know that now is not the right time, but I need to tell you something. Once she's better, I think we both know what she's going to do," she said.
I swallowed the lump in my throat.
"Do you know something that I don't?" I asked.
"She's the only one who can answer that," she said then left.
I turned to Jason for answers, but he has the same confused look on his face.
"I don't know. She didn't say anything to me. But when I got home during their spa date, they were talking and they were crying. I knew something was off, but she wouldn't tell me."
"Something's wrong, Jason. I feel it."
"I never told you this before, but I've always had doubts about what really happened between Nick and Livie. And the way that Livie has been acting since she's been back just made my doubts stronger."
"What do you mean?"
"I think there's more to the story. Maybe you should listen to her this time Luke."
Fear gripped me as Jason and Zarah's words echoed in my head.
Could Jason be right? I shook my head. If anyone's right. It's Zarah.
She's right. I know what Livie is going to do, once she wakes up and she's better... She's going to leave me.
Then I remembered Livie's words earlier tonight.
Lucas, I didn't sleep with him...
I shook my head. No. I asked her that night and she said yes, I told myself. But then again that night was all a blur. She was crying hysterically. She was crying so much she couldn't get a word out, not could I understand what she was really saying.
Could I have been wrong?
Did I hear her right that night or did I hear what Nick was telling me and turned a blind eye and her pleas fell on deaf ears?
It can't be. I shook my head.
Pushing the thought out of my head, I said, "You should go home, Jason. Zarah needs you."
"I don't want to leave you here by yourself..."
"I'll stay with him."
We turned and found Ethan standing to our left.
I looked back to Jason and nodded. "Go. We'll be fine."
He nodded. "I'll be back tomorrow."
I turned to Ethan.
"I'm going inside and sit with her," I said.
"I'll go with you," he said.
We both sat there quietly. I sat beside Livie and held her hand in mine, while Ethan sat on the couch.
"Luke you should get some rest..."
"I'm fine," I said gruffly. "I want to be here when she wakes up. I have to tell her I love her. She doesn't know that. I haven't said the words to her."
"Luke..."
"Did you know that just tonight before we went to dinner with you guys, I magnanimously told her that I forgive her. That I forgive her for everything."
"Luke..."
"No. I actually believed that I was doing the right thing and that I was the bigger person for saying that. But the truth is I need her forgiveness. I made mistakes too."
"Luke she betrayed you..."
"It doesn't matter!" I growled at him. "I'm scared, not just because of her condition, but I'm scared because I know that once she wakes up, she's going to leave me. I saw it in her eyes earlier tonight. When she stood up and looked at me. When she told me not to touch her. I saw it. I saw it in her eyes. She was done."
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