《His Heart's Desire (Book 2 in His Heart's Series)》Chapter 22
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Nick?" I said.
"Nick?" I said again.
"Nick!" I said
"What's going on, Nick? What are you doing?" I asked.
"I've been waiting for this, Olivia," he said.
"Been waiting for what? Nick what are you talking about?"
"I want you, Olivia," he said as he moved towards me.
"Nick. Stop this. I'm with Lucas. I love him. He's your best friend. You shouldn't be saying these things to me!"
"Luke," he snarled. "It's always Luke. What does he have that I don't?" He asked.
"Nick, you probably just had too much to drink."
He laughed. "I only had a couple of beers...," he said with a shrug.
"Nick, I think you should go," I said.
"I don't think so," he said.
"I'm going to call Lucas right now, if you don't leave," I said and raised my phone to call Lucas, when Nick lunged at me.
We fell to the ground, and he grabbed my phone from my hand.
"Nick, stop it. Get off of me," I screamed. "Get off!"
Tears welled in my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.
"Nick, please don't do this. Please," I pleaded.
"Shh..." He said as he held my hand above my head and bent forward to kiss me. I turned my head to the side, to avoid his kiss.
My whole body shook with tears. "Stop. Don't do this, Nick. Please stop," I cried out as I tried to wriggle out of his hold.
He gripped both my wrists in his hands while his other hand ripped my blouse open, sending buttons flying around the room.
"No!" I screamed. "Stop! Stop!"
He didn't listen and continued his assault.
He lifted my skirt up to my waist, and I wriggled underneath him, trying to escape, as I was crying and begging him to stop.
He ripped my panties off.
I heard the sound of him undoing his pants, and unzipping it.
I was crying uncontrollably, as I begged him to stop.
The next thing I know, he was pushing himself inside of me and I screamed.
"I kept on screaming. Begging him to stop, but he wouldn't. He kept on going," I sobbed out.
"Oh god, Liv," Zarah said as they all wrapped their arms around me.
Tears, outrage, anger, and shock written all over their faces.
"I fought him off. God knows I tried, but he was too strong. When he was finished, I told him that I would tell Lucas and that Lucas will make him pay, but he laughed in my face, and said that he wouldn't believe me," I choked out. "But I told him he was wrong. Lucas would believe me and he'll make him pay because Lucas loved me... But God... he was right. He made sure Lucas wouldn't believe me, and he didn't. Lucas didn't believe me," I cried out.
"Shh... Oh god, Olivia," Ara said as her own tears choked her.
"He wouldn't even listen to me. He told me to get out of his life. He wouldn't listen... I tried to talk him that night. I was in shock, and I couldn't think straight. Lucas misunderstood, and oh god..." I was crying so hard, I couldn't breathe.
"Why didn't you go to the police?" Ellie asked.
"Like they would believe me. Nick is the son of a Senator. He has money, power, and connections. The one man I trusted and loved didn't believe me, what more the police. Who would believe that a rich and powerful man would rape a poor nobody like me."
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"Olivia..." Ara protested.
"I came to Lucas because I believed he would protect me and make it all right, but he turned his back on me. Called me a cheat and a liar. Discarded me like a whore," I cried out.
"Shh..." Ellie said.
"This is the first time I've talked about this. Nobody knows. I tried so hard to forget about that night. About what that monster did to me. I was pregnant and alone. I needed to be strong."
"You have to tell Luke," Zarah said.
"He won't listen. I tried. Can you believe it?" I let out a bitter laugh. "I tried to tell him the truth... Again, but he shut me down. He wouldn't have it. He still believes I cheated on him... Betrayed him, when the truth is, he's the one who betrayed me!"
"I can't even begin to imagine how you feel and how much it must have hurt... Still hurt... I don't even know what to say," Ara said.
"I'm okay. My sons... They saved me. If it weren't them, I honestly don't know what I would have done."
"Liv, what happened to you was horrible. I can't believe it..."
"I survived."
"Yes you did!" Ellie said. "Somebody needs to beat the shit out of that bastard. He doesn't deserve to breathe the same air we do!" Ellie hissed. "You're so strong Liv. We're here for you... Always."
"Thank you. Please promise me that you won't tell anyone about this. Not even your husbands. Especially you, Zarah," I begged them.
They hesitated. "Liv..."
"No. Please. Please. You have to promise me!" I cried out.
"But we have to report this to the police, we have to... we can't just let him get away with this..." Ara said.
"No! ''This is my decision. I have my sons to think about. When I kept quiet years ago, I made the decision then. I know that you may not understand, but I can't let him take more me! This will cause a big scandal and I just want to forget about all of this. I can't let my children be dragged into this," I said fiercely.
"But Liv, he violated you. We can't just keep quiet," Ellie disagreed.
"No! I've come so far. I've left this behind me. You have no idea how hard it was for me, but I survived. My sons are the only thing that matters to me now."
"But..."
I shook my head. "This is my decision," I said firmly.
"Promise me you won't say anything," I begged.
"Liv, we can still get this guy. We can..."
"No. I don't want to open up old wounds. I don't want to see him nor talk about him. I don't even want to think about him!"
"But..."
"Like I said, I've worked so hard to put it behind me and I can't... I'm scared of what it will do to me when I open those wounds again. Right now, my kids are the only important thing in my life. They saved me."
They all looked at me with understand in their eyes.
"I know that what I'm asking of you isn't easy, but I'm begging you. Please. Please don't say anything. Just leave it in the past. Please," I said, my voice shaking with tears.
They hesitated.
"Please," I begged again.
They nodded reluctantly.
"Jason told me that he always had doubts about what really happened. He said he had this feeling, but he pushed them aside because he believed that his brother wouldn't have broken things off with you, if there wasn't any proof of what Luke accused you off. Guess Jason's gut feeling was right all along."
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I forced out a smile. "You know what hurts the most?"
They all shook their heads.
"You all barely know me, and yet you believed me. You saw the truth in my words and in my eyes, but the man, who swore he loved me, and that he would protect me, didn't. that's what hurts the most. How can the man I love believe that I'm capable of betraying him that way?" I sobbed out.
"Men are stupid!" Ellie grumbled.
"I have never wanted to hurt anyone in my life before, until now. I can't believe Luke!" Zarah exclaimed.
"What are you going to do?" Ara asked.
"I agreed to try and make things work. He gave me a month so we can get to know each other again," I said as I wiped my tears away.
"And then what happens after a month?" Ara asked.
"We get married," I said.
"Are you sure about this?" Ellie asked.
"It's what's best for the twins."
"You still love him," Ara said in a matter of fact.
I nodded as I didn't see any point in lying or denying it. "I never stopped loving him. In spite of everything, I never stopped loving him."
Ara squeezed my hand in comfort and understanding.
"My head is still reeling from all of this. I can't..."
"Ladies, I hope you all enjoyed your spa and lunch date," Jason said as he came into the main room.
We all let out startled gasps.
Jason stopped on his tracks when he saw us. A worried look crossed his face.
"What's wrong?" He asked as his gaze settled on his wife.
He walked over to Zarah quickly.
"What's wrong, angel?" He asked worriedly.
He looked over at all of us.
"Nothing's wrong. It's girl talk, Jason," Zarah said.
"Why are you guys crying?" He asked, looking horrified.
"It's nothing. We just got talking. Like I said... it's girl talk. We're fine, honey."
Jason studied us to make sure we were telling the truth.
He didn't look like he believed us, nonetheless he didn't press on the matter and said, "Alright. I'll leave you ladies to it then."
"Why are you home so early?"
He chuckled. "Early? It's 6pm, angel," he said.
"Already?" I asked in shock.
He nodded.
"My goodness. I can't believe we lost track of time. I should head home," I said.
"Me too," Ara and Ellie said.
"I'm surprised Mass, and Marco didn't call you guys," Zarah said.
"I was with them and told them you guys were here," Jason spoke up.
"How did you..." Zarah trailed off. "David told you."
Jason nodded in confirmation, looking sheepish.
Zarah rolled her eyes.
"Told Luke too, when we talked on the phone earlier today," Jason said to me.
I nodded. "Thanks."
"No problem," he said.
"You guys are so..." Zarah started to say.
"Angel, you know it's for safety reasons. I only ask where you are, not what you are doing," Jason explained.
"I know honey, but why not call me instead?"
"I didn't want to disturb you guys. It's ladies day out," he shrugged.
"But it makes me feel like I'm being spied on. I'd rather you talk to me," Zarah frowned.
Jason again looked horrified at the thought of his wife feeling distressed. I couldn't help but envy what they have.
The way Jason loves Zarah... it's just incredible and indescribable.
Pain jolted inside of me. I know Luke loved me, just not with the same intensity, dedication, trust as Jason loves Zarah, I thought to my self.
"Sorry, Angel. I won't do it again. I didn't know you feel that way," he said, as he wrapped his wife in his arms.
"It's okay. I know you care, and I appreciate your intentions and I know you mean well..."
"I do. I would never spy on you, Zarah. I trust you. Completely."
Zarah smiled and kissed her husband. "I know that."
I had to look away and brush the tears that threatened to escape.
Trust. Something Luke didn't give me.
"You're brother's worse," Ara said. "But I have to give it to you guys. You guys are discreet," Ara said.
Jason chuckled. "What can I say?" He smirked.
"Anyways, we better go," Ellie said. "Let me call Tony..."
"No need, David will drive you ladies home," Jason said.
"Thanks," Ellie and Ara said.
"There's no need, I can..."
"Liv, don't start. David will drive you home."
"Yeah, we can gossip some more," Ellie winked, causing all of us to chuckle.
"Alright. Thanks," I said.
"No problem," he smiled warmly at me.
We said our goodbyes and headed home.
***
I walked inside the house and found Luke walking out of the hallway.
"Hey. You're back."
I nodded. "Yeah. The twins?"
"Their with Gail. Are you hungry? Care to join me for dinner?" He asked.
"No thanks. I'm not hungry. I'm going to see the boys."
"Livie..."
"Lucas, it's fine. We're okay," I forced out a smile.
"Livie, Ethan told me what he did and I'm sorry..."
"Don't say sorry. He was just protecting you. I hope you two didn't fight or argue just because of that."
"What he did was wrong, Livie. Whatever it is he said to you, it must have been bad for you to avoid him and feel uncomfortable around him..."
"Lucas, like you said. It's in the past."
"Still. I'm sorry," Lucas said.
I saw the sincerity in his eyes and didn't have the heart to push him away again.
I took a deep breath and sighed. i nodded and smiled. "let me just say hi to the boys, then I'll join you for dinner," I said.
A smile broke out on Lucas' face. "I thought you weren't hungry?"
I smiled back. "I changed my mind."
Lucas smiled. "I was thinking we can eat out on the patio."
"That sounds lovely," I responded.
"Great. I'll see you out there."
"Alright," I said and watched him turn around and leave.
"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked Livie during dinner.
I noticed that something was off about her when she came back.
"I think I'm just tired, that's all," she forced out a smile.
"I'm sorry, but I'm just not feeling well. Do you mind if I head on up to bed now?" She asked.
I nodded. "Sure sweetheart. Get some rest," I said.
She smiled. "Goodnight," she said.
"Goodnight," I replied and walked over to her and kissed her on her forehead.
I look back at her, and looked her straight in the eyes. "I'm worried, Livie. You're scaring me. I can see that something's bothering you," I said.
"It's nothing I promise. I really am just tired, and I still worry about us," she said.
I sighed and wrapped my arms around her. "It's going to be alright, Livie. Trust me," I whispered in her ear.
I pulled back and offered her a reassuring smile.
She smiled back and nodded.
"Go get some sleep. I'll put the twins to bed," I said.
She nodded and left.
I locked myself inside the bathroom.
I jumped in the shower.
I let the water fall on my face.
I scrubbed my entire body.
Remembering made me feel dirty all over again.
I scrubbed my entire body hard.
A sob erupted from my throat.
I fell back against the wall. I slid down until I was sitting in a fetal position.
I cried as I rock myself back and forth.
For the first time in a really long time, I cried about what Nick did to me.
I spent nearly two years burying the memories of what Nick did to me. I've gotten pretty good at it, that I can almost swear it never happened.
It's a feeling I can't explain.
I've blocked that part of my life, and seeing Lucas again...being with him again triggered the memories to slowly come back up into the surface.
I don't know how long I sat there crying, but when I finally found my strength, I got out of the shower, dried myself, got dressed, and climbed in the bed.
I laid on my side of the bed.
I turn to my side and came face to face with a picture of Lucas and I.
I frowned. That picture wasn't there before. Lucas must have placed it there.
I looked at the picture and saw the younger version of us, smiling. Our eyes was filled with so much love and happiness.
I looked at myself in the picture and saw the old Livie.
Tears welled in my eyes anew.
Nick took that woman away from me. So did Lucas. After that night nothing was ever the same...
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