I didn't meant to say those things. I didn't meant to admit to her how much she hurt me, and that I wanted to marry her.

I stared at her and her reaction and feeling of uneasiness gripped me.

She stared back at me without saying a word.

"A part of me feels like I'm being an idiot for considering this," she admitted.

"What do you want, Livie? What does your heart tell you?" I asked.

She sighed and pain crossed her eyes. "No matter how much I tell myself that there's just too much mistrust and hurt between us, I can't help but want this too. I know I shouldn't, but I do. And the twins... they're a big part of this too."

"I know. I want this too, Livie. I want this so bad."

She sighed and stared helplessly back at me. "Time, Lucas. Time. That's all I ask."

I nodded. "One month, like we agreed."

She nodded. "A month."

"Then we'll get married," I said.

She nodded. "Then we'll get married."

I smiled and hugged her to me. "I swear it, Livie. You won't regret this!"

She gave me a small smile. One that didn't reach her eyes.

He hugged me close. "I swear it, Livie. You won't regret this!" He said like he can control what happens between us.

I tried so hard not to break down.

How can something so wrong feel so right?

It feels so right being in his arms. I've missed him... I've missed him so much... But it still doesn't change the fact that he makes things sound so easy between us. Like everything will just disappear because he said so... I wanted to tell him that it's not as simple as he makes it sound.

You see... Deep inside of me I know that without trust our relationship has no chance. He may have said that he trusts me... But I don't trust him. I don't trust that we can make this work. That he won't hurt me again. But above all of that, I don't trust myself. I've already made a fool of myself multiple times over Lucas. Every time I'm back in his arms, snuggled close to him, and when he kisses me, I lose all control and what little common sense I have left.

I guess bottom line is that, there's such a strong hesitation on my part when it comes to Lucas.

I know that when I said yes to Lucas, that I was being an idiot. But is it so wrong to want the same thing for our boys as he does? Is it so wrong to want to give our sons the family we both lost?

Once you have children, you no longer decide what's best for you. You make decisions based on what's best for your kids. And no matter how I look at things, I know deep down that Lucas is right. Jarred and Jaydan deserve to have both parents.

No matter how deeply Lucas hurt me in the past, I have to find a way to let it go.

Forgive and forget. Start anew.

I know that by staying, I would be losing my heart to Lucas again. But maybe, it would be different this time.

At least, I hope it will be...

"Why don't we try again?" I asked.

Livie raised her eyebrows in confusion.

"Try what again?" She asked.

"Having a quiet meal together. I don't know about you, but I'm starving," I said.

She smiled.

"Let's go down to the kitchen and whip something up," I suggested.

"You can cook. I'll sit and watch," she said.

I chuckled. "Up to you," I shrugged. "If you want to get poisoned, then..."

She chucked. "You know what, maybe I'll cook and you sit?"

I laughed. "That's what I thought."

"Still can't cook huh?" She teased.

"By cook you mean, other than scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast? Then no."

"Let's head to the kitchen then."

"But first let's go check on the boys," I said.

She smiled. "You read my mind."

After checking on the boys and kissing them softly. We head down to the kitchen and went through the fridge in search for something to eat.

"Why don't we have stir fry? It's quick and easy," Livie suggested.

"Sure. Sounds good to me," I said.

"Do you want chicken or beef?" She asked.

"You decide," I said.

"Beef," she replied.

"Sounds good."

"How can I help?" I asked.

Livie shook her head. "Sit, watch, and learn," she said.

I laughed. "Alright. Get to work then," I smirked.

I watched Livie get to work. She sliced the beef into slices, then marinated it with diced garlic, salt, pepper, and a small amount of soy sauce. She set it aside, then worked on the vegetables.

She cut out some broccoli, carrots, red and green peppers, and onions.

She then tossed the vegetables in olive oil, minced garlic. and seasoned it with, a pinch of salt and pepper.

She then pulled out a pan and placed it on the stove to heat.

A couple minutes later, she placed a small pint of butter into the pan and coated it. She then cooked the beef in the pan. Once it was cooked she set the beef aside, and cooked the vegetables.

A few minutes later, she added the beef back into the pan.

She then took out a bowl and added a few sauces and mixed it together. She then poured it into the beef and vegetables.

She mixed them together for a couple minutes.

She turned off the stove and removed the pan from the heat.

She placed a couple of plates in front of me, and served the stir fry.

"Looks and smells good," I said.

"I hope it tastes as good as it looks," she said.

"I'm sure it does. Cooking is one of your many talents," I said.

"Here, I got you some Iced tea," I said. "I know you don't like wine."

"Thanks," she said, and sat beside me at the breakfast bar.

I took a bite of the stir fry. "Wow. This is really good, Livie," I said.

She smiled. "Yeah?"

I nodded. "Heck yeah. How come you never cooked this for me before?" I asked.

"It's simple, fast, and easy to cook. I wanted to always cook something special for you," she said.

"Everything you cooked for me was special, Livie... Anything you would have cooked for me, would have been special because you made it," I said honestly.

She gave me a small smile.

We then fell into a comfortable silent after that, as we settled to eat.

After we finished our meal, and placed our plates in the sink, I suggested we watched a movie.

"Sure," she said.

"Casablanca?" I asked, knowing it was her favourite movie.

She chuckled. "You sure you want to sit through a romantic movie with me again?" She asked with twinkle in her eyes.

I chuckled remembering the first time she made me watch the movie with her. To be honest, I ended up watching her more than the movie.

"I'm sure. I want to watch it with you," I said.

She grinned up at me. "Okay then," she said happily.

I laughed.

I like this Livie. It was like the old Livie. Happy and bubbly.

We settled on the sofa, and Livie curled up next to me, as we started playing the movie.

I sat there content just to have her close to me, in my arms. But at least, this time, I actually focused on the movie.

It was quite good, actually.

Half way through the movie, I noticed that Livie has fallen asleep.

I smiled and kissed the top of her head.

I stopped the movie, and turned off the dvd player, and the TV.

I lifted Livie into my arms.

She snuggled close and buried her face into my chest.

I carried her up the stairs to our bedroom.

I placed her gently on the bed.

I walked to my drawer and grabbed a white t-shirt.

I undressed Livie, and dressed her in my shirt.

I then removed my shirt, and pants, and opted to wear some pyjama bottoms to bed.

I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. Then headed back into the bedroom.

I slid on my side, and pulled Livie close to me.

I smiled, as she immediately snuggled closer to me.

She was drawn to me, even in her sleep.

I settled on my back and wrapped my arms protectively around her.

I wrapped my other hand, around her hand that was resting on my chest.

I brought it up to my lips and placed a gentle kiss on her fingers. Then I kissed the top of her head.

I took a deep breath and sighed.

In this moment I feel like we can really move forward and leave the past behind.

I believe we can find the happiness we once shared before it all came crashing down.

She made a mistake. Everyone makes mistake. What's important is that she's sorry.

I can see how much she regrets what she did.

I blew out a big breath.

I can forgive her. I know I can. It will just take time, but I can.

That was my last thought before I drifted off to sleep.

*****

Sorry to disappoint but no double updates tonight! I'm just honestly super tired and sleepy, so forgive me if this chapter is even less polished than the previous ones! Don't hesitate to point out any mistakes so I can make corrections!!

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I hope I didn't disappoint anyone : )

As always thank you for your support, understanding, and patience.

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Take care guys!!!