The nerve of that woman.

I recognized her as the same woman I saw Lucas with that night I went to his house.

I wanted to weep, but I composed myself.

"I'm sorry, Livie," Lucas said.

"I'd like to go home. I've lost my appetite," I said.

"Livie let's not let her ruin our night."

"Too late. It's already ruined. I want to go home. Now!"

"Livie..."

"She seemed to know everything that went on between us," I led on.

His lips thinned. "This is not the place nor the time to discuss this," he said. "You're right we should go," he said.

The drive back to the house was quiet and uncomfortable.

I stayed on my side and he stayed on his.

Once the car stopped in front of his house, I jumped out of the car.

"Livie," I heard Lucas call after me, but I ignored him and kept walking.

"Olivia, will you wait!"

Once I was inside, I ran up the stairs as quickly as I could, not wanting to talk to Lucas.

I was too furious to have a sound conversation with him... But Lucas was to fast, and was able to caught up to me.

I tried to slam the bedroom door on his face, but he stopped it with his hand and barged into the room behind me.

Lucas looked angry now too.

"Olivia, damn it!"

"Leave me alone, Lucas!"

He swore and ran his hand through his hair. "What the hell is wrong with you, Livie? How in the hell do you expect us to resolve this if you shut me out? I thought we were past this? I thought we aren't going to do this? I thought we decided that we're going to talk things through, and that we're going to make this work?"

"Well, I guess I was wrong!" I snapped. "I guess I'm finally realizing that what you said we will do is impossible!"

"Damn it, Olivia!"

"No. Damn you, Lucas!"

Shock was written all over Lucas' face at my outburst.

I stood there for a moment heaving... Too many emotions running through me.

Then Lucas broke the silence and said, "Look, I didn't tell her anything. I don't know how she knows. She's friends with Nick as well, and who knows maybe he told her."

I stiffened at the sound of Nick's name, but pushed it away and snorted at his words. "Yeah. Sure!"

"I'm not a liar!"

"Of course not," I retorted. I'm the liar and cheat in your eyes.

"This is a waste of time! It's never going to work between us, Lucas. There's too much anger and bad history between us to make this work. Why don't we just go our separate ways. I will never stop you from seeing the twins..."

"Enough!" He snarled. But I didn't back down.

"Lucas, we don't know each other at all..."

He snorted. "That much is true," he interrupted.

I glared at his innuendo. "Yes it is," I snapped. "So there's no point in all of this!"

"We had an agreement."

"Lucas, that incident at the restaurant, that's not a one time thing. It's going to happen over and over again. With your brother's and your friends. She obviously knows so much between us. Who's to say she didn't open her trap and talked to someone else about us?"

"I've never discussed her with you. And now that I think about, I doubt Nick would too!"

I snorted.

"Why don't you believe me? I'm not the one who lied and betrayed you!"

I flinched at his words. "It always comes back to this, doesn't it? No matter how many times we say it won't. No matter how many times we promise that we will never speak of the past again," I said. It always came back to the fact that Lucas believes that I betrayed him.

I turned away from him, trying to control the anger that's threatening to burst out.

"Why do you insist on being together, when you obviously think badly of me?"

He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it.

"Because I love my sons, and I want them to grow up with both a mother and a father. I don't want to be a weekend father."

I looked at him and saw how much he loves our boys.

Maybe I can try again...

Maybe he will listen this time...

I took a deep breath and forced myself to try to tell him the truth. "I am not what you think I am," I started to say.

"Don't, Olivia. Don't lie to me. Don't do this. Not this again!"

"But I told you..."

"I asked you, if something happened between you and Nick. I asked you if you had sex with him and you said yes! What more can you say?"

"But it wasn't like that," I protested.

"It never is," he snarled, before leaving the room, slamming the door behind him.

I dropped to my knees as sobs tore at me and I recalled what happened during that conversation.

"Did you have sex with him?" He asked growling. "That's what he said to me."

I nodded. Yes that's what he said he'd say.

"Damn you, Livie! I gave you everything and you go and fuck my best friend?"

Wait. What? "Lucas, no. You misunderstood. I didn't..."

"Save it. Get the fuck out of my house."

"But Lucas, please listen to me. I didn't have..."

"Shut up! Just shut the fuck up and get the hell out of my house and my life before I do something I regret," he said mercilessly before leaving me crying my eyes out.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid! how can you believe even for one second that this time will be different. That this time he'll listen!" He still refuses to listen or hear me out.

Feeling more alone and betrayed all over again, I finally found the strength to get up. I walked over to the bathroom and splashed my face with cold water.

I look at myself in the mirror. Tears pricked my eyes, at the misery and hurt I saw in my eyes. My heart squeezed painfully.

No more begging, Olivia. No more. I will never beg him to listen nor to believe me ever again... No more!

Fresh new sobs erupted from my throat.

I buried my face in my hands and cried.

For two years, I tried so hard to convince myself that I was okay, and that it didn't matter what Lucas and everyone else thinks of her... But how can I look at the man I love, knowing that he believes the worst of me? How can I stay with him knowing that he thinks I betrayed him?

I wipe my tears away and rested my hands on the counter top and bowed my head and closed my eyes.

Then suddenly, I felt a hand on my cheek... It was Lucas, cupping my cheek, forcing me to look his way.

I sobbed anew.

"Shh... Don't cry, Livie. I'm sorry. Please don't cry sweetheart," Lucas said as he wiped my tears away and hugged me to him.

He whispered soothing words to me, as he told me how sorry he was over and over again. His voice was laced with regret.

He lifted me into his arms and carried me into the bedroom.

He sat on the bed as he cradled me against him. I clung to him and buried my face in his neck.

He stroked his hand over my hair, as he rocked me back and forth. "I'm so damn sorry, Livie. I was a jerk. I didn't meant to upset you and make you cry."

I sniffed.

"I didn't meant to hurt you, Livie."

I sniffed again, while I hiccuped from crying so much.

"I never said a word to Caroline. I have no idea how she knows. Please don't let her get between us. She's just trying to cause trouble," he said.

"I won't let anyone hurt you like this, ever again, Livie. I swear it. No one will ever say anything nasty to you. They'll have me I deal with if they do," he said fiercely.

You might not let anyone hurt me, but you are! You're the one who's hurting me. I've only ever cared about you and what you think of me, I wanted to say to him.

"It's going to be okay, Livie. I'm really sorry about what I said to you."

I sagged against him.

What does all this mean? Does this mean, he's willing to listen to me now?

No, I told myself. Not again, Olivia. Don't give him the power to hurt you again.

He is so convinced that he's the bigger person in our situation because he's willing to forgive me and marry me in spite of what he believes I have done. To his friends and his family, he might be the magnanimous one, because of that, but to me... It's just another form of betrayal.

After all these years, he still won't listen to what I have to say.

I felt him kiss the top of my head, then forced me to look at him. He wiped my tears away and kissed me on my forehead. "Don't leave, Livie. Stay. Please stay with me. I want you and the twins with me. Always. I want to take care of you and our sons. I can't do that if you're far way from me. I want to know that you and our sons will be here when I wake up in the morning... When I get home from work, and when I go to sleep. I want us together, Livie. We both know that it's not going to be easy. It's going to be hard, but I want us.

Please say yes, Livie. Please say you'll stay with me, and within a month, say you'll marry me. Please, Livie..."

I looked into his eyes, and found my own pain and misery reflected in his eyes. His eyes was thick wit emotions... Almost haunted. But can I risk it again?

Do I want to?

I want to deny him, just to hurt him, but I know I'll just be hurting myself, and the twins if I deny him.

You have no idea how much I'm hurting Lucas.

How can you look at the man you love and feel so much anger and pain at the same time?

But still, in spite of all that, I still want him... I still love him...

"Please, Livie. Please stay with me," he whispered huskily. "We can fix things between us. I know we can!"

How? I wanted to ask. How can we fix things between us when it's your lack of trust in me that led us here?

How when you won't even listen to me?

He lowered his lips to me. Dropping soft and tender kisses on my lips, and all over my face.

I felt my tears prick my eyes.

It felt so good to be back in his arms again... So good...

It's a choice you have to make, Livie. Do you hold on, or do you let go of all the pain?

"Give me a chance, Livie... Give us a chance."

"Do you trust me?" I blurted out.

He stiffened against me. He was obviously taken by surprise at my question... So was I. I don't know where that came from, but now that I have asked. I want to know... I need to know.

"I have never lied to you, Lucas," I said. "Never."

He bent forward and touched his forehead against mine.

He took a deep breath and exhaled.

"I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me. This won't work if you don't Lucas. I need to know that from this day forward, you're going to listen, trust, and believe me."

He pulled back and opened his eyes. The look in his eyes paralyzed me.

"I trust you, Livie," he said, and I saw the truth and honesty in his eyes.

I don't know whether to feel happy or hurt.

He wasn't willing to listen to me then. He didn't trust me then, and now he's saying he does, but he still won't listen to me...

"Olivia, whatever made you do what you did with Nick, I believe that you're sorry and you didn't mean for it to happen. I asked you, and you admitted it to me, and that takes guts. I also believe that, it was just a one time thing," he said, then looked at me. "It was right?" He asked.

My heart slammed in my chest. I didn't think there was anything more Lucas could say or do that would hurt me even more than he did two years ago, but I was wrong...

Dead wrong...

Tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I didn't meant to make you cry..."

He wiped away the tears that rolled down my cheeks.

Anger, pain? And humiliation cursed through me. It took everything in me not to lash out at him and leave right there and then.

I looked at him, then at the baby monitor where Jarred was moving around in his sleep.

I looked at both of my sons.

I can't do this to them...

I just can't...

I have to try... for them...

I took a deep breath and stared into Lucas' eyes. "Don't ever, ever mention his name to me ever again. I don't ever want to hear his name, for as long as I live. If I ever hear his name from your mouth, I'm done. I'm leaving, and our agreement is off. You asked for this Lucas. You said that we will leave the past behind, I'm holding you to it."

Lucas nodded. "I'm serious, Lucas. If you ever utter his name, we're done. You're going to have to settle to being a weekend father."

He was shocked at the seriousness of my voice. It wasn't a threat. It was a promise.

He opened his mouth in protest, and I shook my head.

"No, Lucas. I mean it."

He looked at me and took a deep breath. "Okay. I promise. I won't ever bring him up again. I swear it."

I nodded.

"So you're staying?"

I closed my eyes and sighed.

I nodded. "Yes."

"We'll work at our relationship. We'll make things work between us. You'll see. You won't regret this, Livie."

I closed my eyes, and tried to find comfort in his words, but found none.

"I still care deeply for you, Livie."

"I'm scared... No," I shook my head. "I'm terrified."

"Me too, Livie. But we can do this."

I looked at him, trying to see the truth in his eyes and in his words.

"Don't do that, Livie. Don't doubt me. I mean everything I said. You aren't the only one who's still hurting. I'm making a big sacrifice here too. I promised never to utter his name and never speak of the past, and you can damn well be sure that I'm going to keep that promise, especially if breaking my promise meant, I lose you and the twins. This is hard for me too, Livie. You hurt me, terribly. I cared about you. I loved you. I wanted to marry you. I had the ring and everything..."

I gasped in surprise.

He wanted to marry me?