"She's really leaving?" I asked mum. Like Iman herself didn't clarify it.

Did i do something wrong? She said she's going to give our relationship a chance so how can she just want to leave now?

What do i do? I can't loose her. I think I'm falling for her and i don't want this beautiful feeling to go away. I want it to last forever.

"That's what she wants and we can't do anything to force her to stay cause it's her decision and we need to respect it.." Mum said.

What the heck? Of course we can force her to stay,we need to force her to stay. I need her by my side forever,I can't let her go when I'm finnaly admitting to myself that i'm falling helplessly for her.

"Yes we can mum. We can definitely force her to stay and we should really get on to it fast cause i really can't be without her now, why can't you guys just understand that i want me and Iman to work, just talk to her please." I said.

"Don't start acting all hypocritic and pretencial all of a sudden okay. You never wanted her in your life, you couldn't even stand her, you've always wanted to divorce her and now she's making it easy for you." Mum said.

Making it easy! Seriously....... She's making it hard.

I know I've got my short comings,I even cheated but can't she just forgive me?

"I can't really do that mum. I just can't, I know i didn't care at the beginning but now i do and i want to spend the rest of my life with her now so please stop her from leaving." I plead.

I don't know why I'm getting emotional about this,i mean I've never been this emotional with Alishba. I don't care how emotional i look and sound now but all i care about is that i want her with me forever,i want to do alot for her, i wish to love her till eternity and i thought she wanted that too but i guess i was wrong.

I wish she didn't change her mind about giving us a chance but i swear i'll make her give me a chance and we'll work.

"Azan forget about her,i don't want to repeat myself, you've hated her too much and i seriously don't blame her a bit for wanting a divorce, you were going to marry that girl had it been you didn't find out about the fake pregnancy,so let her live her life with someone who's going to make her happy, someone who deserves her." Mum said sternly.

Can't they all just forget my one mistake.

Hearing mum say this made my blood boil to the highest temperature level.

"I won't divorce Iman no matter what happens,so do what y'all want, i'll get her to stay on my own." I said and walked out of her room in anger.

Iman is taking this too far. Why can't she just forgive me, isn't it obvious that I'm hopelessly falling for her..

I need to talk to her now. I marched to iman's room and banged on her door hardly and mahn my knuckles are beginning to hurt. I heard her soft voice mutter coming and after a few seconds, the door opened revealing Iman who had a shawl wrapped around her head with a thin smile on her face which was now replaced with a deep frown when she saw me.

"What do you want?" She asked as her frown deepened.

"That's a really good question wifey. What do you want me to do for you to be able to give me a chance? You asked me to get the company's documents and i'm working on it so why do you want to leave all of a sudden? Tell me what to do for you to be able to accept me."

"Nothing Seriously,i just don't want to be with you and that's final,i've said this two days ago and i'm still saying it now,i don't want to be with you so please just stop bothering me." She spat.

Wait!.

Did she just say leave her alone?

Leave her alone...

She's asking me to leave her alone.

What a joke. It's actually the joke of the century.

"Come on eshgham you should know better than that,you're mine and i won't leave you alone. Not now, not ever" i wanted to say but shut my mouth instantly.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get back to my packing" she said and was about to shut the door but i pushed myself inside her room and pulled her towards me with a jerk,i placed my both hands on her waist as i pulled her in more, squishing our bodies together.

She smells so good and i couldn't stop inhaling her intoxicating scent. I looked at her who's eyes were wide as saucers, our faces were only a few inches apart and damn there's nothing i long for so much as to just closing the little gap between us and just place my lips on hers and then she'll chop my head off.

Aggh why does this have to be so difficult? Why can't she just accept me and my newly found developing feelings.

"You're my wife and i really can't let you go,you drive me so insane with your this beautiful smile and intoxicating scent and the way you say my name,damn my name sounds heavenly from your georgous mouth and i just can't help but wonder how this lucious lips of yours taste,i think i'll find that out now." I didn't know if it was her intoxicating scent that was driving me utterly nuts but i found my self slowing closing the inches left between us and it was only a second before my lips could meet hers, i felt her hand tug at my hair hardly.

"LEAVE ME." She yelled glaring at me hardly.

"No i won't leave you, just stay with me. Why can't you just stay with me huh?" I asked gripping her waist more firmly,my nails digging in her clothed waist.

I felt her hand which tugged at my hair loosen.

"You're hurting me. Get your hands off me." She spoke barely audibly as tears pricked her eyes.

What am i doing. I was actually hurting her.

"I'm sorry please,i didn't mean to hurt you please, it's just... you were not listening to me and i-i kinda lost it. I-it's- I'm sorry please." I pleaded as i let go of her.

"DON'T. Don't you ever dare to touch me again, you hear me. I dislike you and i don't like your touch so just stay away from me. What the heck do you want? You've always wanted me gone and for this so called marriage to end and now i'm fufiling your long term wish so just let me do it. Let me ask you a very important question and i want you to give an honest answer. If your girlfriend didn't betray you and faked being pregnant, would you have still wanted to be with me or you'd still marry her?" She asked the question that i had no utter answer for.

Let me ask my self to the same. Would i be chasing after Iman nonstop if Alishba didn't betray me?.

The answer is I DON'T KNOW MYSELF......

Do i have feelings for Iman?

The answer is YES.

I think I've always had feelings for her ever since i saw the way Zayan acted with her and calls her Beautiful. I mean that's why i was so jealous right? Why did i have to hurt her? I know i didn't respect or accord her as my wife but i've never actually been intimate with Alishba infront of her unless i wanted to get her jealous.

Did what i felt for Alishba considered as love? If it was then why was i always using Alishba to get Iman jealous.

I'm so confused right now. I didn't know at that time what to do. I know i felt something for her at that time but i also knew i couldn't abandon my long term girlfriend and our unborn baby.

In a way i was really happy that me and Alishba didn't work out cause i want me and Iman to work out and I want my first child and all my children with her.

"You see, you've got no answer to that but i do Azan,i could answer it perfectly. The answer is NO Azan, you wouldn't." She spat bringing me out of my train of thoughts.

"No Iman, listen i know I've not been the best husband but i wouldn't leave you i swear. Just give me a chance to prove how much you mean to me, i'll get the documents just like you asked, i'll even get you the documents to everything i have if you want, i'll do so much more for you, just ask."

"Really? You'll do anything i ask?" She said in an amused voice.

I grinned slightly. This is it. She's going to forgive me.

"Yes."

"Can you erase yourself from my life? I'd love it if you'd do that, it'll really make me happy."

That hurt really badly. She wants to erase me from her life.

I just left her room but not before giving her a last glace.

I walked back to my room and went directly into the washroom and after staying under the showers for an hour and so,i came out and was shocked to see Zayn sitting on my bed.

Yeah shocked. Zayn and i haven't really said much since the whole Iman incident, well i didn't even believe my own little brother would try to blackmail me. I never knew he was this crazy for My iman, I thought he had a thing for Fatima, I'm sure he did but he suddenly decided to get married to my own Iman, My Wife.

He's delusional.

"What is it Zayn?" I asked with a poker face.

"I wanted to speak to you bhai. About iman actually." He said with a sigh. His expression dull.

"What about her?"

"I heard she's leaving the house,i confronted her this morning and she confirmed that she's really leaving,i pleaded for her to stay cause i love her but she said she doesn't feel that way towards me, that she only loves me like an elder brother and she even asked me to start noticing the person who actually loves me, i was so confused about that part and i'm also heartbroken but when she said she forgives me for my character and we can be friends,i was contented and the reason i'm telling you all this is that i want you to not give up on her, even if i won't be able to stop loving her and i don't like the idea of you two being together but i'll try my very best to still accept it cause i don't want her to leave this house, everyone grew too attached to her and it'll really break mum,dad and everyone's hearts if she leaves, heck mum is already heartbroken, she eats less and always has this sad face,i don't want mum to break down and blame herself if Iman leaves and yeah i still don't accept your marriage with her but do please stop her from leaving, I've tried all i could to stop her but she won't budge so i think you should talk to her about staying and i'm sorry about my behavior,i shouldn't have tried to blackmail my own elder brother, I'm really sorry bhai,i hope you could forgive me. That's all i came to say, thank you for listening." Once Zayn finished talking he got up from my bed and was about to leave when i stopped him.

"Thank you for this Zayn and i know how it feels for your feelings to not be reciprocated but you just have to understand that Iman is my wife and i don't want divorce and Iman is right,try to be livious about your surroundings and you'll definitely notice the one who truly loves you and I'm sorry for being the worst big brother by getting a girl pregnant,well fake pregnancy but i still didn't set a good example for you guys to follow and I'm sorry for ignoring you little brother, if Iman wasn't my wife,I'd have made sure you married her but do understand me okay, you'll definitely notice that person soon." I tell him.

"Umm thank you. I should go now." Zayn said walking out of my room..

I sighed and fall on my bed thinking about the conversation me and Iman had and also what zayn said but mostly thoughts of Iman.

I just let my lust overpower me and tried to kiss her even if she doesn't want me.

Judging by the tears that pricked her eyes, I'm guessing she hates me more than before,i won't blame her doe cause i hate me much more.

I don't even deserve her, i've been nothing but a monster to her and I've hurt her so much even after several warnings from my parents to be nice and treat my wife well but all i did was even get worse,i even cheated on her face. She deserves better but i'm too too selfish to let her go away from me so i'll do whatever i have to do to stop her from leaving this house, leaving this marriage and most importantly leaving

I wish i was never involved with Alishba.

I won't lie and say that what Alishba didn't affect me cause it did. I know i loved her well i don't know if it was even love from the start but i gave her everything and she broke me, she is actually that bastard Asif's girlfriend.

She even got the guts to call me the other day and still pretended to be pregnant,it took me a whole lot of self control not to bash her head in a wall.

Gosh i really hate her so much.

***

"Tell me the kind of guy Iman wants to get married to. Like what are her expectations in a husband?" I asked Alina.

I've decided that i'll be the man she's always wanted so she'll see that i've changed and she'll give me a chance.

"How would i know that?"

"Cause you're extremely close with her so she'll tell you, look you need to help me out, she leaves in two days and i want to show her that i'll be the one she wants and then she'll stay here with me and we'll work on our marriage and live happily." I said dreamily.

Like have i gone crazy or something. I'm speaking like a fan girl.

Netherless i waited for Alina's reply which came after a few minutes of her laughing like a maniac.

Do i need to schedule psychiatrist appointment for her?.

"Well i've asked her this kind of question before doe i was gonna link it to Zayan, okay so she never actually told me the qualities but she said the Major quality is that she wants her future husband to always pray the five daily prayers and fear Allah and also respect her and complete half her deen,so she said all other qualities are just Minor." Alina explained.

"Ooh thank you." I smiled a little.

"No worries but do you think you can top that."

"I definitely will."

I sighed as Alina left and i fell back to deep thoughts.

Did I just say i can top it.

Who am i kidding?

I'm nothing like Alina just mentioned. I'm definitely not a religious guy..

What am i going to do? Is it too late to change now?

No i don't think it's too late. I know how to pray right? I do pray, it's just that i've made wrong choices this past few years and i think it's time i change all that, not only for iman but for my self as well.

What if Iman did actually give me a chance and we finnaly start our own family, what would i be teaching my children about Islam? I would have been the worst father and despicable husband, I've been dispicable to my wife since day one of our marriage,i let her sleep on a grouncy small couch,i was even going to let her sleep on the floor, I've called her bitch and a hoe countless times and that's more than despicable. If i want a happy marriage then i'll have to change for myself,for iman and for our future children.

I hope Allah can still forgive me of all my atrosities and the Zina I've committed, being intimate with someone who I'm not married to. Ya Allah please forgive me and show me the right path.

Accept me back O Allah.

**

What do you want?" I asked as my frown deepened.

Why can't he just leave me alone.

"That's a really good question wifey. What do you want me to do for you to be able to give me a chance? You asked me to get the company's documents and i'm working on it so why do you want to leave all of a sudden? Tell me what to do for you to be able to accept me?" He asked back.

Why is he being so persistent about this? Like I've cleary always been a burden to him and just an obligation and now i'm trying to free him from this burden but he's rejecting. Does he have any plans?

"Nothing Seriously,i just don't want to be with you and that's final,i've said this two days ago and i'm still saying it now,i don't want to be with you so please just stop bothering me." I spat slightly annoyed.

I waited for him to react but he was somehow speechless and looked to be in a daze so i spoke up again.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get back to my packing" That being said,i was about to shut the door to his face but he shocked me by pushing himself in my room and then he made my eyes wide like saucers when he pulled me towards him with a jerk and placed his hands on my waist pulling me more to him.

Inhaling my scent, he stared at me for a couple of minutes a i was too shock to move and finnaly he spoke.

"You're my wife and i really can't let you go,you drive me so insane with your this beautiful smile and intoxicating scent and the way you say my name,damn my name sounds heavenly from your georgous mouth and i just can't help but wonder how this lucious lips of yours taste,i think i'll find that out now." My eyes grew wider if that's even possible at his words. I can't let this unfaithful animal kiss me,i knew it,he doesn't want to change, he's just now lusting after me since his girlfriend isn't here. What do i have even that he's lusting after. I can't let him use my body.

Do something Iman.

It was only a second before he could kiss me and i couldn't let that happen so i tugged at my hair hardly preventing him from kissing me. He let out a gron and i think he came to his senses.

Pervert.

"LEAVE ME." I yelled at him glaring hardly.

"No i won't leave you, just stay with me. Why can't you just stay with me huh?" He asked gripping my waist with more power. His nails digging my skin and it hurts really bad. My grip on his hair loosened.

"You're hurting me. Get your hands off me." I spoke barely audibly as tears pricked my eyes.

Don't cry in front of this monster Iman. You'll make it, you'll get there. It's just two days more.

"I'm sorry please,i didn't mean to hurt you please, it's just... you were not listening to me and i-i kinda lost it. I-it's- I'm sorry please." He suddenly let go of me pleading. What is wrong with this guy?

Is he bipolar or something?

"DON'T. Don't you ever dare to touch me again, you hear me. I dislike you and i don't like your touch so just stay away from me. What the heck do you want? You've always wanted me gone and for this so called marriage to end and now i'm fufiling your long term wish so just let me do it. Let me ask you a very important question and i want you to give an honest answer. If your girlfriend didn't betray you and faked being pregnant, would you have still wanted to be with me or you'd still marry her?"

That's what i thought. He stayed silent and didn't answer the question. Not that it'll make any difference if he did.

I got my answer by his silence so i spoke again.