You know when parents are really embarrassing? I think so. Dieter seems to be particularly talented when it comes to teaching us what embarrassment actually means. He doesn't just put his foot in his mouth, he literally jumps in with both feet and full of verve.

So now we were standing at the zoo box office and an estimated two dozen people were waiting in line behind us. How do you buy an entrance ticket? Any normal person would do something like this: He would ask for three tickets; one adult and two children. And then pay the required admission price. End of the line! BUT NO! Not so Dieter.

"Whaaat?" he asked indignantly, drawing out the A like a pubescent teenager. Mega embarrassing, when parents make on young. The cashier again quoted the price of admission for the three tickets and waited, chewing gum. "I can get a real elephant for that price," Dieter complained.

"Come on, Dieter, pay up already. People are already looking funny," I urged him.

Reluctantly, he pulled out his wallet and paid. When the cashier handed over the tickets, he accepted them and spat out another unnecessary remark: "I hope I can at least ride one of the elephants! Outrageous, these prices!"

"Yes, yes," I tried to placate him. "If we're lucky, Dieter, you can also pet the lions or go swimming with the sharks," I said, pushing him toward the entrance.

(...)