February 2015

20 Hours

I have been awake for twenty hours. And it must be showing in my face because it is certainly getting in my nerves. I tried, and quite frankly, forced myself to sleep or even have a short nap during our 13, almost 14, hours of flying. Unfortunately, I failed.

And now, the effects of lack of sleep is starting to creep in my system. I feel more alert and aware of my surroundings, actually I feel more anxious than anything.

Scanning my surroundings, the people are starting to take their seats, and some are reserving their seats. But more are still coming from everywhere. There are parents and kids running around. Based on the people around, I'd say they are somewhat related to the performers. Parents, and their families are probably here to watch their sons and daughters perform onstage. The college kids, who I think still looks like high schoolers, are milling around, probably trying to find some good place to watch.

I sighed. I have been waiting in here for almost one and a half hour. If the people are not increasing in number, I would have probably bailed already. But as the people increase, the more I know that this is some wort of tradition to the university. And that this is going to be a spectacular play by the high school students (I think they look like middle schoolers, truthfully).

"Hey!"

A voice pulled me out of my reverie and searched for the owner. My vision landed on Jessica who seemed to be holding something good in her hands.

"Please tell me that's food."

Pushing the brown paper bag on my face, my nose was filled with the scent of fries. Looking inside, the fries are covered din cheese. Now that, I know, is going to be good.

"You're going to love it because I did," I heard Jessica say but my mind barely registered that. "Oh, and look who I bumped into?"

My eyes widened.

He was there when she said we should clear our schedule on the first week of February. But after what had transpired months ago, that is just impossible.

Simply impossible

"Hi."

The new voice said, and I was slightly disappointed, but nonetheless, I looked up and saw my Filipino friend.

"Clarita!" I said, excitedly.

She perked before tackling me into a hug. "You remembered. I am so glad."

When she pulled away, I asked, "why wouldn't I remember?"

"I think that you would be too busy or something. Honestly, I was not really expecting you to come but I am so glad."

"Clarita? Where did that nickname came from? You told me that you're Maria Angelika Carissa Estrada Cortes," Jessica said, her eyes narrowed in confusion.

"Well, it's a long story that involves this country's national hero and my mother's obsession to his books," Clarita answered with a laugh. "My name is too long to say, and my nickname has a long history, so just call me Clarita."

Jessica looked at me, and I just shrugged. "Okay."

"Anyway, where's that guy you were with when I met you?"

Crack

I think I just heard my heart break at that question. What was I supposed to say?

The shock of the question must have shown in my face because she asked, "did I say something wrong?"

The tensed silence filled the air as the question continued to be answered.

Luckily, Jessica finally saved me by asking what time will the play start. Clarita blinked before answering.

"A few minutes at best," she said. "This is my first time watching the play. My seniors are the ones who told me that the university celebrates their foundation week this way. And that the plays are usually waiting for the sun down before it begins. As you can see, we are in an open stage. So we'll need the place to darken so the lighting effects can be in effect."

She looked at her watch before looking at the already darkening sky.

"So, I guess it's almost time. Where are you guys seated?"

Jessica suddenly grabbed her shoulders and pointed her head towards the out-of-tuxedos Max's. "See those hot guys over there?"

Clarita nodded, slightly apprehensive. "They reserved our seats."

Nodding, Clarita let Jessica pull her towards my two unsuspecting bodyguards.

"Hey, guys! Thank you for reserving the seats. This is Clarita, she is a college freshman here. And she will be taking that seat next to Laura."

I saw Clarita blush as she looked at the two men in front of her.

Poor girl

Max and Max are good-looking to say the least. They are my bodyguards for four years, and let's just say that whenever they're around, girls tend to look their way.

The two men looked Clarita up and down, as if sizing if she was a threat. I rolled my eyes. When they were finally satisfied, they decided to let us be.

"We'll be around." One of them said to me. I smiled and nodded a thank you.

A few minutes after we were seated, a light filled the stage, a group of kids went to the stage, together with a man, who was the president of the university (according to Clarita), and started playing their ukulele. The audience were quiet as a girl went to the mic and started to sing.

After the brief performance (which according to the girl beside me was a prayer), a woman, probably the teacher in-charge went to the stage and said a few words.

After that, the play began.

I was surprised to hear familiar words and song when the play commenced. And as the play progressed, I found out the play they're doing is "Aladdin."

Though, the voices of the actors are not theirs (meaning, they are lip syncing), their performances were impressive. Their emotions, their movements, the lighting, and especially their props and costumes were amazing.

Everything made me speechless, but the performance on the song, "Prince Ali," for me, that is the best part of the play.

The play ended officially when confetti filled the air, and everyone is rejoicing and taking pictures. Jessica and Clarita, who just met earlier, seemed to have become really close.

I sighed. I really enjoyed the play but part of feels incomplete at witnessing such event. The joy was there, but sadness still lingers.

Unable to fully understand my feelings, and to join the people with their joy, I squeezed myself out.

The quadrangle of the university is quite large. The fact that most of the people stayed near the stage, I easily found a quiet place to stay.

Letting my thoughts take over me, I begin to realize that going back now to the Philippines seemed lonely. I can no longer imagine myself going to the places I wanted to go without picturing Nate by my side.

I closed my eyes and sighed.

"I really have stop letting him occupy my mind whenever I'm alone."

"I really hope you're referring to me."

I squealed and jumped from my seat at that all to familiar voice. It was a bad move. I closed my eyes and braced myself for the impact that never came as strong arms wrapped around my waist, preventing me from falling on the ground.

When I opened my eyes, I found Nate's laughing green orbs staring at my own.

"That's exactly the reaction I was expecting," he teased.

I scowled, pushed him away, and stood straight.

"Will you stop doing that!"

When I looked at him again, he just smiled though it did not reach his eyes. He put his hands in his pockets and leaned on the post.

"It's not like I will have much opportunity to do that anymore, will I?"

I suddenly felt guilty. He was on my mind the whole months we were away from each. And now that he's here, I yelled at him.

"What are you doing here, anyway?"

I felt his gaze on me but I refused to look at him. My heart is beating wildly against my chest, and it wasn't because of the surprise oh him appearing out of nowhere.

"I received an email from an unknown user telling me to go here. I asked a professional to trace the location of the email. Imagine my surprise when he told me that the email was from Switzerland."

I gulped. Either that's Jessica's doing or my brothers'. But considering Jessica is here with me, and the fact that it was traced, I say it's Jessica.

"I didn't send an email, if that's what you're implying," I said quietly.

"I didn't expect you to."

My heart clenched at the tone in his voice. His tone was so sure and sad at the same time. It's like he gave up, or lost hope.

Stop pitying him. He betrayed you. He doesn't deserve anything from you.

"I just wanted to say―"

"Why did you do it?" I don't want to hear his apology so I interrupted him with the question that I was dying to ask the moment I gathered my wits months ago.

"I didn't do what you thought I did."

I really hate it when he does not deny or admit anything by simply not stating the issue.

"You knew that I was a princess. Why didn't you tell me that my father knew where I was? I felt betrayed. You were conversing with him about who knows what. You were like his eyes."

"It's not like that!"

"Then, what is it?" I asked, nearly yelled. "Why do I feel like you betrayed me?" I can't help it. Not anymore. I can no longer keep the pain to myself any longer. As I stared at him, I let the tears flow from my eyes, telling him the pain I have felt for the whole duration of months.

His arms were suddenly around me, hugging me as if I am his only anchor to the world. "It's not like that," he whispered.

"Why? Why? Why do I feel like that?" I asked as I hugged him just as fiercely as he was holding onto me.

"I didn't mean to make you feel like that. I'm sorry." He pulled away and stared into my eyes. "Your father found us when we got to New Zealand. The only reason I talk to him was because I don't want to piss him off. He sent a few bodyguards to check out my place when we went to my grandparents'. That was why I was so anxious to leave. I don't want your adventure to end so quickly."

I furrowed my brows, "what do you mean?"

"You opened something in me when you told me about your dreams. And every nerve in my body wants to help you fulfill those dreams. When I found out about you, it made me want to help you even more. I was so scared that I will fail you when your father told me that he wants you back to your palace. So I did what I did."

Hearing that made me cry harder. I can't help it. I pulled him in another fierce hug and just cried myself out.

"When I saw how you misunderstand things on that last day, I tried to track you by retracing our adventure. I am so sorry."

"It's fine," I said, a little hoarse from crying. It does not matter anymore. "I now understand everything." I said after pulling away. Looking in his eyes, I saw the different emotions swirling in them.

A familiar tune filled the air.

"Dance with me?"

I laughed as I took his hands and let him lead me. There were probably still have people milling around but I ceased to care when he started to sway me.

You're in my arms, and all the world is calm

The music playing on for only two

So close, together.

And when I'm with you

So close, to feeling alive

It seems like it was so long ago when this song was played during the first time we danced together in Alexander's party. I was so anxious back then, so it was not really romantic. But now, it seems like this moment with this song became a bittersweet background in our seemingly last dance.

Last dance

Come to think of it, the song seems only fitting. I stared in his eyes as they mirrored mine. And then, I let myself be lost in his green eyes, along with the dance. For now, it's just us. Just us.

Oh, how could I face the faceless days

If I should lose you now

"Laura?" The spell broke. Suddenly it was not just us. Jessica's eyes signaled that it's time to go. Back to reality. At this moment, I now knew why those months away from him was painful. I love him. Right then and there, I figured and admitted to myself that I love him.

And I would be damn if I didn't tell him.

I looked into his eyes that was probably for the last time. I cupped his face in my hands, and brought my lips to his, and kissed him with everything that I got.

We're so close to reaching

That famous happy end,

And almost believing,

This was not pretend

Let's go on dreaming

For we know we are...

"I love you," I whispered in his ear before turning away to leave.

So close, so close

And still so far...

"I love you, too."