Lawrence's P.O.V

I've known for a while how I feel about her but I can't bring myself to admit that its love.

It's a weak feeling, that I can't afford to have, it has hurt me, cause me to loose a lot, brought out great selfishness in me, and I vowed that I wouldn't love anyone again.

Then, she came around and destroyed all my plans of never loving again without me noticing until I fell deep.

Since the day I set my eyes on her at the board room, I knew but I acted tough and rough towards her thinking that will make it either reduce or stop but it just made it grow stronger as I couldn't bear to see her cry or upset especially because of me.

I don't know what to do cause it's driving me insane just to look at her and not be able to show her what and how I feel.

Since she came into my life, I haven't hurt anyone, thrown any anger tantrum or even fired anyone. There's this serene calmness that washes over me when she's around.

I'll have to keep my feelings at bay because her safety is my priority. I can't let the Rainers hurt someone I love again.

Thinking about how I should go about it when my train of thoughts were interrupted.

"Hey bro". My younger brother Damien called out and sat beside me. Damien is known to be very quiet and doesn't speak until he's spoken too or till something is terribly wrong.

I also don't know how he does it but that Damien for you.

"You're thinking of her, aren't you?". He asked knowing fully well what I'm thinking about.

"Yeah". I said with a sigh.

"I know you love this woman, a lot. I can see it, and I also know its hard for you because of the Rainers, but don't let that one forsaken family deprive you of your happiness". He said, and I was shocked not just at the content he just spewed but at the amount of words he said at a time.

"I've never seen you with anyone after 'her', so I know that what happened to 'her ' traumatised you but Trina brought you out, Are you going to let her go? Just like that?". He patted my shoulder and left, trying to mask his emotions but i can see the disappointment in his eyes and I know fully well why.

He's disappointed because his brother that used to stand up for what was right and do what was right was broken.

I wasn't always like this; nonchalant, partying, out in clubs, drinking and sleeping with every woman I come across, but that incident changed me and though it's a lesson to learn, it's a lesson never to be forgotten.

I lost her to them just because of my love, love is as beautiful as it is dangerous.

I was selfish and I know I can't be selfish with Trina too. I tried staying away from her as it would mean no danger to her but I couldn't.

My heart couldn't take it, I was physically in pain.

If someone told me a few months ago that I would be in love with, or better still interested in someone I'd have laughed in their faces cause it was an impossible feat at the one but she came and swept me off my feet as cringe as that sounds.

Whenever I think about loosing her, it makes my heart bleed and I feel physical pain that I myself cannot believe still.

I LOVE HER.

A lot, but my heart can't let her go even if it's to protect her. I know I'm being selfish but I can't help it.

I'll protect her but I'll also let her know of the dangers and let her decide if still wants to be with me.

"Mom". I called out as I saw my mom pass through the dinning room.

"Yes son". She answers looking at me like she already knows what I want to say.

"Look son, I just don't like that girl. Both of you are from two different worlds so how did you meet up if it wasn't planned". She said in a rush and I know she's trying to get me to understand that it's for my safety.

"I know you're watching out for me mom, but I love that woman and even if it was planned which it wasn't, I need her in my life, so please just get to know her, okay?. I love her mom". I said hugging her, a lot might not know it believe it but I'm a Mama's pet. I love my mom more than anything in this world.

"Okay okay, I'll try just for you". She said caressing my cheeks and smiling . I can tell that she knows I love Trina.

A mother's intuition is really something.

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On getting to my room, I found a letter that I know wasn't here when I left, so I opened it and what I read did not only shock me but as much as I hate to admit it, I felt fear.

Hi, Patty (I see that you've dropped her off without a care in the world. You must not love her enough. I remember you did not let Diana out of your sight but what happened still happened under your watch. Imagine what will happen when you're not watching. The letter said and for the first time in as long as I remember I felt my head swell from fear.

With my heart beating thunderously in my chest, I ran out to the car but Damien followed and took the wheel

"If anything happena to her, if anything happens to my Trina. Imma loose my shit". I mumbled but he heard and replied.

"She'll be fine". He said focused on the road and driving as fast as he could.

Immediately we got there, I couldn't wait for the car to come to a complete stop before I rushed out, anyone that sees me right now would think I'm a mad man, but do I care? No

All I need to do right now is see Trina and see her okay.

"Trina!". I called, more like yelled but it doesn't matter. When I didn't get a response, my heart started beating like it was gonna burst out if my chest.

"Trina, please tell me you're in there! Trina!". I said banging on the door, and feeling pain and all my energy slowly wash away but then the door opened.

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Thank you all for 4000 reads. I love y'all .

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