《A Twist Of Marvel || Infinity War》1. The MCU
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Naomi stood impatiently, pinching the bridge of her nose with two fingers as she huffed. Generally speaking, she was quite a polite person, but it really wasn't her day today. She was standing inside of a Starbucks, squished in line with about a dozen other people who looked just as tired as she was. Though she doubted that they could be, seeing as they probably didn't make the mistake of screwing with a cult this morning.
She supposed it wasn't her fault exactly though, it wasn't as if the people held up neon signs proclaiming, 'We are a cult! We're crazy!' They just stood in an alleyway drawing on the walls. Naomi thought they were graffiti artists or something, who could blame her? Either way, some shit went down and she ended up passing out, but only for a couple seconds. The freaky cult didn't even steal anything from her, so she kinda figured she was fine. Maybe they implanted her with something, but at the moment she didn't really care. She hadn't had any coffee today yet- and that was by far the scariest part of today.
Finally she arrived at the front of the line, her brown bob-cut swishing over her shoulders as she ordered a straight black coffee with two shots of expresso. Naomi wasn't screwing around today. Walking around the counter to wait, her sunglasses prevented her from dealing with awkward eye contact or overall human interaction. It wasn't as though she despised talking with people, it just required energy that she definitely did not have at the moment.
So to entertain herself she pulled out her phone, as any rational person would do. To some of the people around her, it might have seemed as if she were someone important, checking for emails from an assistant or a party invitation from Rihanna. But in reality, she was only an assistant herself, so her 'I'm too important for you' vibes were actually 'I put up with so much shit from my boss that I don't have any leftover shits for you' vibes. Very easy to mix up. Either way, her tired college student outfit clearly spoke that she wasn't in any contact from Rihanna.
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Worn converse, leggings and a white T-shirt that proclaimed, 'Tom Hiddleston is my boyfriend' was all Naomi had the energy for today, and generally every other day she didn't have work to dress up for. Of course, she only wished Tom Hiddleston was her boyfriend, or really any of the Marvel men. How could one ever really choose? Naomi certainly didn't know how. The marvel cast and movies were some of the only things that she cared about- that and her friends and family and stuff. Also her daily coffee, which was now prepared, as the barista called out her name, snapping her attention away from stan twitter. Stepping up to grab her drink, the barista looked at her shirt, and frowned.
"Who's Tom Hiddleston?" She asked, moving to grab the next order as she looked at Naomi. Shocked, Naomi's mouth fell open as she lowered her sunglasses. For a second, she thought she might drop her coffee.
"The most polite triple threat actor in the Marvel cinematic universe." She answered, sliding her sunglasses back up and sipping her coffee. How unbelievable that a millennial in today's day and age would be so uneducated. However, the barista only seemed more confused by her reply.
"The what cinematic universe?" She asked, sounding genuine. This only served to surprise Naomi even more. It was one thing to not know the cast of Marvel, but to not even know of Marvel was actually a little concerning. She was caught off guard, clearing her throat and taking another sip of her coffee, really tasting the espresso.
"You know, like Iron man and Captain America and all of them." Naomi explained, also catching the attention of several other people in the Starbucks. The barista's eyes widened, and her demeanor instantly changed.
"Well I know Iron man, but Captain America is a criminal now," her tone was hushed, and she leaned over the counter to avoid the rest of the customers. "It's best not to mention the Avengers. It's a touchy subject around here." Having given her warning, the barista leaned away and went back to filling the next order, leaving Naomi thoroughly confused.
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She left the Starbucks biting her lip, mulling over the strange advice with her coffee in hand. Perhaps the barista was simply pulling her leg, but Naomi wasn't so sure. She genuinely seemed as though she was worried about speaking about the avengers. Also, the fact that she knew the avengers but didn't know Marvel was wildly bizarre. It was enough to distract Naomi to the point where she ran into someone.
Thankfully her coffee lid did it's job, and no serious damage was done, but there was certainly damage to Naomi's heart when she realized who she ran into.
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Just off the A19, in the dark, incomprehensible lands known as Yorkshire, there lies a town. A town where shadow-silent alleys glint with the secret hunger of knives. Where blood soaks the chipboard window shutters of forsaken terraces stretching off into the night. Where the smog-choked air rattles with the depraved laughter echoing out from clubs that can only generously be described as post-apocalyptic. Well, that’s Middlesbrough. But down the A19 a bit (an impossibly long way down, actually) there lies another town: Raughnen, in the ancient, forgotten Old Riding. It is an equal match in muggery and thuggery alike. It also has magic spells and pointy wizard hats. And now, across the miles and across all sensibilities, a pretty nasty power (a magic one) calls out for its pretty nasty counterpart (a decidedly unmagic one): a proper sound Boro lad. Nothing good can come of it. This is a collection of one novella and four connected short stories: I. A Yorkshire Summoning II. Old Riding Day Trip (the novella) III. Heaven is a Parmo IV. Death on the 66 V. Death on the 257 In total, this comprises 34 chapters totalling around 35,000 words, so try not to worry. It will be over relatively quickly. There are three more short stories with more tenuous links to the core collection: Rush, Paper Round and Scenario 79: Sausage Fingers, all of which can be found in my collection Short Records of Misadventure. Reading these may allow you to make more sense of certain parts of the story, if any sense is to be made at all. NOTE: There are instances of prejudice and discrimination within these stories, including elements of sexism and ageism, which are purely the thoughts and actions of the characters involved and which certainly do not reflect my own views on these matters. ANOTHER NOTE; A WARNING, PERHAPS: This can get a bit weird. In less than 150 pages, we have four viewpoints, first and third person narratives, and a completely disjointed plot with lots of gaps, dead ends and no real resolution. Also ZERO lunatic asylums. It's all a bit odd. If that sort of thing isn't your cup of tea, which it most likely isn't, it might be best to move on now.
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