It wasn't true. I sat in my car crying,

thinking about what just happened.

"I think we should break up." He said.

It's been hours since I saw him, and it still hurt each time I repeated it in my head.

I tried to stop myself from crying but I couldn't.

My chest felt so tight, I couldn't breath.

As soon as I thought the tears where through, more kept coming.

Why did he do it?

Why all of a sudden?

I thought things were fine between us.

I wish I never met him if it meant to not feel like this.

I finally calmed myself down enough to start driving home.

When I felt the tears come, I pushed them back.

I couldn't get in an accident, I just wanted to lay in bed at home.

Most importantly, I didn't want my parents to ask.

But it was inevitable.

Once I opened the door and walked inside, my mom was waiting in the living room.

She was watching one of her novelas.

I tried to quietly walk past her, hoping she'd leave me alone.

"Where were you Koleen?" She asks without looking at me.

"Out." Was all I could say before she hears my voice crack.

She paused the TV, and raised her voice "What do you mean you were out ?! We were so worried!"

A tear escaped and dropped down my cheek.

I couldn't cry now, not in front of her.

I just wanted to be left alone.

But as soon as she turned around, she studied me.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

Hearing those words made me break down.

I started to cry again, holding my face in my hands so she wouldn't see.

"Koleen why are you crying? What happened? Did you get hurt?"

Hearing her ask , "did you get hurt?" Made me cry harder because I did!

I did get hurt.

I nodded my head.

She came closer to me, and took my hands out of my face. "Leen where are you hurt? What happened? Did you fall and broke something again?"

I shook my head, and all I could say between the tears was , "He hurt me."

"Oh Koleen, sweety." She pulled me to her, and started patting my back.

I would've been so happy that my mom is being nice to me, if I weren't heartbroken.

I sobbed onto her shoulder.

"Do you want me to make you some hot chocolate?" She asked me.

I cried harder remembering when I gave him some of my hot chocolate with bear shaped marshmallows.

"Okay, maybe not. I'll make you some tea. Go lay down for now, and I'll be right up there." She says letting me go.

I nodded my head, and went straight to my room.

I threw my bags on the floor, and started to take my clothes off.

If I was gonna cry in my room all day, I might as well get comfy.

After putting on my pajamas, I sat in my bed.

I didn't know if I should distract my mind by watching my favorite movies/shows, or just let it out.

"Here you go Leen. This chamomile tea will calm you down." She hands me the tea, then sits besides me.

I didn't know what to say.

I just sipped my tea, while she just watched me.

"You don't have to tell me now Koleen. But whenever you're ready."

I nodded my head, and started tearing up again.

Gosh, I wish someone could just take the pain away.

"Mom?" I quietly murmur.

"Hm?"

"I-" My voice starts to crack, but I try to push the words out. "I don't want to go to school tomorrow. Please."

"But Koleen, you cant stop going to school because of some boy."

I started to cry again.

"I don't want to see him. I can't."

She sighed. "Alright. But you still have to go the next day."

I nodded my head, and laid down.

Even though I still felt like I couldn't breath, I thought maybe sleep would take the pain away.

I dreamed that I was falling down a deep dark hole.

I felt like I was screaming, but I couldn't hear anything coming out of my mouth.

I tried to grab anything to keep me from falling, but there was nothing.

When I opened my eyes, I blinked several times.

Then realization hit me: I was alone.

He broke up with me yesterday.

He didn't like me anymore.

I wasn't gonna see him again.

My chest started feeling heavy again, and I started to cry.

After finishing crying, I decided to get up and go for a run.

Maybe it would help distract my mind.

I washed my face with cold water, and changed into some sweats.

Even though I wasn't hungry, and had no appetite whatsoever, I tried to drink something to replace a meal.

Just the drive itself made me want to cry again.

I couldn't help it.

I still felt like shit.

Memories kept appearing into my head making it hard for me to forget.

Once I arrived at my destination, I turned my music up and started.

After warming up for ten minutes, I was ready to go.

The more the thoughts tried invading my head, the faster I'd run to try and forget again.

Every time I'd feel myself get tired, I would push myself to keep going so my mind won't be disturbed.

I wanted to keep running.

I wanted to run forever.

I wanted to run from my problems, to run from the pain I was feeling, but I couldn't run forever.

My legs were getting really tired, I've ran past my time limit.

After I cooled down and stretched, I decided to go to a restaurant and stay there for a bit.

I didn't want to go home, and be alone.

The thought of being alone only made me want to cry more, so I ordered a small smoothie and sat in a back corner.

For a moment I sat there drinking my smoothie, still listening to music to distract myself, but then a song came on.

The same damn song we danced to once, and I broke down.

The tears pooled down my cheeks.

I tried not to cry so loud, and laid my head down instead.

I was sniffling, and sobbing when I felt someone tap my back.

I slowly looked up, and was both embarrassed and shocked to see Jaxon standing next to me.

I wipe my face with my hoodie, and take out my earbuds.

"What?" I asked, realizing he had said something.

"I asked if you were okay. What's wrong?" He asked looking concerned.

Instead of playing it cool, and act like it was nothing, hearing those words just made me more hurt.

Tears were running down my cheeks again, I tried to wipe them away as I answered him nothing was wrong, until he took a seat in front of me.

"Look Koleen. I know we may have fallen out. But I do still care about you. You don't have to tell me, but I'm here if you need me."

Oh my gosh.

That only made things worse.

I cried harder.

"No, don't cry." He walks over to me, and pulls me towards him. "If you're not comfortable just pull away, but I think you need a hug."

I cried onto him.

Even though I couldn't get rid of the weight off my chest, it felt so comforting to be embraced by someone.

It didn't make me feel so alone.

❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁❁ ❁

After I was done crying, and sat there sniffling against his chest, I felt embarrassed.

Embarrassed for him to see me like this.

I always hated to be emotional around others, and here I was, crying against a boy's chest.

A boy that for some reason, I kind of stopped talking to.

So we weren't even close, and yet here he was hugging me.

I felt warm under his strong arms. Part of me wanted to stay there, but another part of me felt too awkward be there.

I pulled away, and wiped away the tears with the sleeves of my hoodie.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

He chuckled, "For what? You don't have to be sorry."

"I just..." I sighed. "I hate that you have to see me like this. It's kind of embarrassing."

"What's so embarrassing of crying because you're hurt? Question, did Bryson hurt you? Because I swear-"

Tears started to come out again. I tried wiping them away, but they wouldn't stop dripping down my eyes.

Hearing his name felt like punch to my chest.

"Oh fuck. I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm sorry." Jaxon replies pulling me towards him again.

I felt so frustrated crying in front of him, but it's true, I couldn't help it.

I was so fucking hurt.

As sad as it was, I didn't know what to do with my life anymore.

I thought he would be there for me.

I thought about our future together, and now that he was gone I just felt empty.

Confused, because how was I supposed to go on now?

How am I supposed to get by as if he didn't exist?

As if he didn't came into my life.

I know we weren't together for long, but our connection felt so real.

It didn't make sense for him to just leave me.

Unless, he found someone better.

What if he realized I was nothing.

"If it makes you feel any better, I can probably beat his ass for you. Wait, maybe not, he's still in high school. Hey, it's the thought that counts right?" He asks.

I try nodding my head.

It was the thought that counts. I appreciated it so much that he's wasting his time trying to make me feel better.

"You'll be okay. I'm here for you." He strokes my back, as I try to let out a thanks.

I didn't understand why he cared, maybe he felt pity for me, but it felt nice to have someone.

I haven't talked to any of my friends at all, I didn't really feel comfortable talking to my mom or dad.

I was alone.

It felt like Bryson was all I had, and now that he was gone, I felt like I had no one.

Gosh I hated myself for falling for him.

I hated myself for depending on him.

I don't think I'll be able to forget him that easily.

I let myself cry some more in Jaxon's arms, a part of me pretending that they were Bryson's to comfort some of the pain.

"Is everything alright over here?" I hear a woman's voice.

"Oh, yeah it's all good." Jaxon answers.

"Okay, let me know if y'all need anything."

"Um Koleen? Do you want me to take you home? Not that it's their business, but some people are starring."

I tried shaking my head no , just the thought of being home alone made my heart ache.

"Can we just go for a walk?"

"Oh, we?"

I pull away from him, and look into his eyes.

"I really don't want to be alone, I don't think I can."

"Okay, sure. Whatever you want."

He grabs my hand, and starts walking, making sure to shield me from some of the nosy people.

"So..." He looks at me once we were outside. "I'll meet you by the park. Are you sure you can drive?"

I nod my head. "Yes."

"Okay, I'll see you there."

With that he walks to his car, and I get into mine.

I felt nervous for some reason.

I didn't know why I told him not to leave.

I didn't want to talk about my problems to him.

But I also didn't want to be alone, it felt nice to have some company.

I'd hope he can make conversation, and make me forget so things wouldn't be so awkward between us.

Not that they weren't already. At least for me.

He was a pretty good guy, I don't know why I stopped talking to him.

'Probably because you caught feelings for Bryson...'

♡❊ ♡❊ ♡❊ ♡❊ ♡❊ ♡❊ ♡❊ ♡❊ ♡❊ ♡❊