Weeks. It's been weeks since we talked.

It felt like my life before, but it sucked.

I should've listened to myself the first time.To stay away. Don't get too close. Maybe then I wouldn't feel empty right now. Numb.

I was stupid for thinking that if I tried with her, then she wouldn't leave. Like the other one did.

But she basically did.

She was such a fucking hypocrite saying that the past is in the past but when I told her my past she just couldn't let it go. It angered the hell out of me.

So if she didn't want anything to do with me then fine. I don't care.

Yes you do.

I don't.

It's her loss.

Or is it mine?

Whatever the case, I can finally focus on baseball and other girls who are interested in me.

Which wasn't that hard to do since tons of them were.

Koleen's friend even tries to flirt around with me, and in respect of her I never listened to Crystal, now though...well if I was a bigger asshole than I already am, then I would probably go for it, but I can't.

I know it will hurt her and that's the last thing I wanna do. Even if she hurt me first.

It didn't seem right to hold a grudge against her.

Even if I was being too petty to even sit by her in English.

We'd make eye contact at some point, but I'd always be the first to stop looking, because why should I feel regret about what happened between us if it wasn't my fault?

I can't control the past.

It haunts me. But I can't control it.

And if she can't see through that then who cares?

Honestly. Who. Cares.

I could get any girl who won't even care about my past, so why keep pining over her?

It's bullshit.

Who cares.

I don't.

"Yo, I heard you and that chick we argued about last time is over. You finally listened to me hm?" Dominic says, hand over my shoulder.

I spit on the floor and nodded. Annoyed.

"What happened?"

"Things just didn't work out between us." I only say, I shrugged his arm off, and went to go get a bat.

Baseball practice was the last thing I wanted to do, because like girls, us guys gossip as well.

So far my whole team, even some freshman have asked me about Leen, like what the actual hell.

"Well no offense Anderson, but I'm glad it happened. Now you can focus on what's important: A variety of Girls, parties, and winning state champ this year."

I shrugged again. "Yeah I guess." I thought about it for a moment. "You know what, you are totally right. Party at my house this weekend. Invite everyone." I say as I walked off to the field, taking my position.

Maybe a good party was all I needed for me to forget about her.

To remember what it was like before her, but in a happier version, I guess you could say.

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I was already halfway drunk.

Everyone, was having the time of their life.

I think I just created the party of the year.

People were dancing all around, forgetting about everything else.

Which is what a party should be made for right?

To forget certain things, or someones.

I, on the other hand, had nothing to forget.

Because, it has already been forgotten.

Who knew a party was all I needed?

This is great.

Everything is great.

I am. Perfect.

"Wohoo? Everyone let's get some cheer on for the host!!!" The Dj yelled.

I smiled lazily and hold up my glass cup, everyone cheered, slapped me on the back, kissed me on the cheek.

This was great.

I felt nothing, no guilt on the back of my mind, no regret, nothing.

I, Bryson Anderson, was cleansed.

And damn did it feel good.

I pushed through the crowd towards the mini bar in the corner and poured me some more alcohol, the good kind the others can't have.

"Hey, pass me some." A voice yelled next to me.

I looked next to me and was surprised who it was, "I don't think you want some of this Brian, it's a little too strong for you to take."

He sighed, "C'mon dude, we're all here trying to have a good time now pour me some. I'm your man and I deserve some."

I raised my hands in defeat. "Okay, okay. You asked for it."

After I poured him some, he chugged it and made a sour face. "You weren't kidding Anders."

"See, I told yo-" I squinted and looked behind him. Someone familiar stood out, searching, lost. "Is that? What the hell is she doing here?!" I yelled angrily, storming off to her direction.

"What? Who man?" Was all I hear from Brian as he stared at me confused.

I pushed through the crowd until I saw the familiar sleek long hair, the same time I stood there, she turned around, and jumped in surprise.

For a moment I just stood there forgetting about my anger because I was so in awe.

She wore a tight fitting, black, sparkly dress that hugged every inch of her curves, black high heels, and her eyes.

I knew she was wearing makeup, the makeup that sometimes made girls look like they have raccoon eyes, but her?

Her hazel eyes were piercing, intense. They captivated me for a moment, until my anger started seeping through again.

"What the hell are you doing here in my party?!" I yell again with venom.

"Bryson-" She starts but I cut her off.

"No, you need to leave Leen, you're not welcome here. You weren't even invited." The back of my mind told me to cool it, but I couldn't.

Who does she think she is, crashing my party like nothing.

I was done.

I was boiling with anger thinking back to the restaurant and her dead silence when I asked her if she'd look past my mistakes.

She was such a disappointment and a waste of my time, my heart felt achy.

Hollow , you could say.

"It was an open invitation." She looked hurt, and shaky, but imagine how I felt.

"I don't care. Get the hell out of my house!"

"But Bryce, I came here to-"

"No, I don't give a damn why you came here, just get the hell out." I pointed towards the doorway and she followed, avoiding everyone's stares, who I now noticed were witnessing the whole scenario.

Once the door slammed shut, my house was still quiet, people staring in astonishment.

I sighed, touching my head, it was fucking hurting now.

I didn't just want to end the party, so I just threw a thumbs up to the Dj and walked up to my room.

I was laying in bed, going through the whole thing again.

I wonder why she even came.

A knock then sounded in my door. "You ok man?"

It was Brian.

I didn't answer.

"Listen, everyone else felt weird I'm guessing and left. Team's helping with the mess now as we speak."

Again. I didn't answer.

"Ok well, call me if you want to talk. I'll just...leave you alone right now."

I heard his footsteps leaving, and when I was sure he left, I started crying angry tears.

I punched the wall, I punched some glass, I punched anything hoping it'd take this empty, choking feeling I had on my chest.

Fuck this.

I really don't need this right now.

I was having a fucking good time until she came.

I was fine dealing with my past, until she came along.

It wasn't fair that I had to go through this disappointment again, it was different with my dad, because I'm not that close to him as much as I secretly wanted to, but with this ???

I don't know.

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