What did I wear to a situation like this?

Did I have to look cute? Simple? Not trying at all?

Do I even wear any makeup?

I don't consider this a date so...

No makeup. Shorts. T-shirt. Sneakers, and a windbreaker.

Perfect.

It's like I'm trying ,but not really.

Thankfully my mom hasn't come home yet, and my dad was napping so I had nothing to worry about when Bryce came.

They wouldn't ask me anything.

I waited for him in my living room, it was a few minutes after seven so I started thinking maybe he changed his mind about meeting me.

What if he thought I didn't matter anymore?

I thought as the doorbell rang.

My heart started pounding.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

I opened the door and backed away quickly, not wanting to be close.

But when I saw him, my heart leaped in admiration.

He stood there, with an apologetic face, again, and roses.

Red red roses that would only be shown in Valentines Day.

I stood there astounded. Staring at them. Then I met his eyes. His freaking chocolaty brown eyes.

Is it normal for me to want to take him back that easily?

"They're beautiful." I whispered.

"They're for you." He says handing them to me.

Obviously.

I took them shakily, our hands brushing one another.

I looked up at him the same time he did too.

"Thank you." I say going into the kitchen to grab a vase. "I'll just go put these upstairs."

He nodded and sat down in my couch as he waited for me.

I placed them on the vase in my bathroom, starring at them. Then I stared at myself.

This is really happening.

Someone gave me roses.

Only my dad has given me roses.

And I received them from someone Else.

Oh my gosh.

I couldn't believe it. I didn't expect something like this from him.

Hold it together Leen, they're just flowers.

Right.

I walked down slowly, careful not to wake Dad.

He got up as well and opened the door for me.

I didn't say thank you.

Was I rude not to say it?

"So where do you want to talk." He asks as he starts his cool car.

"A restaurant....?" I didn't really know. I just wanted to ask him stuff.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. A restaurant."

"Ok." He says breathing out.

Was it a bad choice?

Why did it seem like he didn't want to go?

The whole car ride was dead silent.

I really really wanted to turn up the radio, but it wasn't my car. So I shouldn't be touching.

On a positive note though, my mind was racing with thoughts so sometimes I didn't realize how quiet it was until I took pauses.

But. It was still extremely awkward.

Or maybe it was just me.

He seemed fine.

Once we got to the restaurant, I let myself out and walked in before him.

Was I being rude?

I just didn't know how to act.

Again, we picked a booth in the back. There were a few people around, but no one to be concerned about.

"Can I take your orders?" The waiter asks the both of us, but is looking at him only.

I brushed it off.

Why should I care?

Because he's here with you. Not her.

I don't care.

"I'll just get a Pomegranate, Strawberry smoothie please."

She writes it down quickly, then looks towards Bryson.

"And what about you?" She bumps her hip on him.

He looked at her confused then asked for a Coke and fries.

She smiles sweetly, winks at him, then leaves.

Wow.

"So.." He says, tapping his fingers against the table and looking around.

"We can talk after we get our order." I took off my jacket feeling hot and placed it on my lap, taking my time setting it down.

"Why can't we talk now?" He says a little aggressive, looking at me.

"Fine. We'll talk."

I put my hands up on the table and cross them.

They were slightly sweaty, and so were my thighs, but I'm playing it cool.

"Spill." He said looking into my eyes.

I couldn't concentrate staring at him, so I looked at the wall behind him instead.

"I have some questions I'd like you to answer." It came out sort of rushed and awkward but at least I said it.

"Ok..Ask me anything."

I finally looked at him. I wanted to see how he reacted with my questions. "What time did you disappear?"

This question has been on my mind since day one. Ever since Crystal told me he came back I always wondered when he disappeared.

I moved here my sophomore year, so I wondered if I'd seen him before the incident happened and had no idea it was him.

"It was the middle of March. Freshman year."

"So your mom disappeared when you were fourteen?"

He looked hurt, his eyes flickered down , but then he met mine. "Ah..y-yeah. My birthday isn't until April."

"So you spent your birthday on the streets?" I asked surprised.

He nodded.

I felt bad. Really bad.

"I..I'm sorry."

"It's ok." He says shrugging it off.

"Here's your orders." The waiter says serving them to us.

But when she was giving Bryson's order to him, she was a little too close.

Her face and chest close to his face and chest.

I rolled my eyes.

"Ok thank you." I said coming off as rude.

She looked at me up and down then walked off.

Dumb bitch.

"Next question." He looked up at me, taking a sip from his Coke.

"When did your family find you?" I whispered.

Maybe this question was alittle too personal.

He kept chugging his soda. When he finally finished drinking, he answered. "In September."

Again. I gasped.

They found him six or seven months later ?

What kind of family is that?

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Stop apologizing for my life. None of it was your fault."

"I know..."

The silence was there again, until he spoke up again. "I'm guessing you have more questions...?"

"Well...yes..but I don't have to ask anymore if you don't want me to. It's not even my business."

He side smiled, and reached for my hands that were on the table.

I looked at our hands then up at him confused and amazed.

"You can ask me. It's ok." He spoke, slowly letting go of my hands.

My heart wasn't doing me any justice, it was beating rapidly from our joined hands, and I needed it to be quiet so I can think.

"Um. If you said they found you in September which was the beginning of sophomore year, then where were you? I've never seen you around school before."

He cleared his throat. "Well, this is embarrassing for me to admit. You can't tell anyone not even your friends." He looked into my eyes, looking troublesome and concerned if I'd keep his secret for him.

I nodded. "Ok."

"My dad..sent me to a rehab center for addicted, and troubled boys." He paused, then looked at me for a reaction, when I didn't react, he continued. "That's where I spent my sophomore and junior year."

"Why did you come back?" The question sounded rude, and I instantly regretted asking it in that time, but I was just curious. I didn't mean to sound rude.

"I lied that I was getting better. I couldn't stand that place any longer, believe me it sucked ass. I never want to go back again."

"S-so how does your dad react about your behavior at school now ?"

He chuckled. "Well he doesn't like it, that's for sure. But, you know, when I came back I thought that maybe there'd be some news about my mom. Instead I found out that he built a new family, and the fact that my dad figured out who was gonna inherit the family business. I went back to being reckless, but my dad can't send me back to rehab, because then what would the people say right ?"

Wow.

Woow

I felt bad for him.

Compared to him, I was lucky. Even if my mom was...an ass, at least I still had her. And I still had my dad who loved me.

Plus my friends.

But it sounded like he had nobody.

"Are...Are we good now?" He asks staring at me for an answer.

I stood there, open mouthed.

I didn't know.

I desperately wanted to say yes, but at the same time, I didn't know if I could deal with troublesome boy.

I looked everywhere, but at him.

And I could tell he was getting impatient.

"ThunderThighs?"

"I don't know." I murmur looking down.

His stare burned my face, and I wanted to look up at him, but I couldn't.

"You don't know?" He was getting loud. Mad. Frustrated. "Koleen I don't know what else to say. I apologized. I explained. What else do you want me to do? I can't just go back and change my past. I have to live with it, and accept it, but if you don't want to..." He stared down for a pause then spoke softly. "Then..maybe we should just end whatever this is that we have."

He was up now. Ready to leave.

And I was still sitting. Heart in a knot. Tears wanting to come out.

He stood there, towering over me, waiting for an answer I couldn't give.

He finally sighed, and quietly said, "I can still give you a ride home if you want."

I shook my head violently, eyes squeezed.

"No." I cracked out. "That won't be necessary."

"Are you sure? I don't want-"

"I said no okay?!" I yelled, everyone looking at us now.

"Is everything ok miss?" Some dude asked, starring at Bryson.

"Yes. It's ok."

"You should leave punk." The guy threatened.

Bryson hold his hands up in surrender, and left, looking back.

Once he got out the door I finally breathed.

"Thank you." I said to the man.

"No problem." He went back to his table, and I still sat there.

Registering everything he just said.

My chest felt tight. I couldn't breath without letting the tears out.

Why am I hurt?

It's best if he leaves right?

Then I wouldn't have to deal with a troublemaker?

Finally, a small tear escaped my eye, and soon more came, but I quickly wiped them off with my hand.

I wasn't gonna cry.

It isn't my loss.

Or is it?

If it wasn't my loss then why did I still feel hurt?

Was it selfish of me to not want a boy with a past?

I sat there for what seemed like hours. Holding back tears. Chocking back sobs that wanted to escape.

"Miss. Do you want me to call someone?" A waiter asked looking at me concerned.

I shook my head no. I couldn't get home yet.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm fine."

After she walked away slowly, I put on my jacket and looked up how far this restaurant was from my house.

I needed to clear my head before going home. And what better way to do it than to take a long run?

Let's do this.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🙃