[Y/n] was dreaming about good and fun things whenever she'd drift of to sleep, well except for those times were she'd see the same dream of her getting into an accident over and over again back then.

One for example is when she, who looks about 9 years old in her dream, told Shinichiro that if he at the age of 30, and her, 20, were still single then she'll ask him to date her then after five years if they're still together, she'll propose to him.

That comical dream ended with her and Mikey fighting – bickering back and forth because he was against with that idea while Shinichiro was being made fun of with his very own friends at the background...

The Second dream she had is when she saw an 8 year old of herself running around the white snow with a radiant smile present on her face.

She looks elated as her eyes that was filled with so much joy looked like they were sparkling. She was playing and joking around with her friends.

Mikey, Keisuke, Haruchiyo, Senju, Kakucho, and Izana. Those were the people she was playing with by throwing snowballs and saying teasing words at one another.

It eventually led for a 'snowball war' that even Shinichiro and his friends got caught up in it.

It was such a blissful sight because she looked so carefree and everyone has huge smiles on their faces.

When that dream ended and she woke up...she couldn't help but stare into space as that sweet dream of hers kept on replaying and replaying.

Because of that, even though it's a child version and it's her, she couldn't help but to feel jealous...envious, and angry, especially when she also came to remember the times where she'd see her little brother run outside while she watches him and his friends play around from the distance.

Why was she ever born with that annoying and stupid disease?

How come she was the only who has it and has to suffer because of it?

How come Akio was the only one who's healthy and not her, too?

Would she be able to smile so brightly and carefree and laugh so gleefully like how she did in the dream if thoughts about when she'd exactly die or feel as if she's a burden to her family didn't haunt her every single day?

Would she be able to experience on how wonderful it is to feel to be a normal kid who wants nothing to do but play around or be childish at times?

Would she be able to experience all of those if she wasn't born as a child who has a heart disease?

She, too, like him...wanted to play those kind of fun games she'd often see outside at the playground or streets like how other kids do instead of just watching them from away and having to occupy her mind with other things by reading books or playing by herself as she didn't wanted to bore her friends.

She couldn't have Akio play with her since it seems like he enjoys running around the most like playing soccer with his own friends...outside.

Or even make her parents play with her instead. They're already busy with their own works and she doesn't want bother them for a measly play time or tend to her childish needs as they're tired.

She'll let her parents rest and relax on their own. Next time, she'll ask them to play with her. Next time...

Besides, she can always just play with her grandparents. whenever they visit them or vice versa.

That's right. She just has to stay patient, and endure, and be a good daughter that don't cause more troubles for her family.

She did all of those and yet...

First she lost her grandma then came next her grandpa after a year and when she was sixteen, two years since her grandfather died, her father was the next one who left the family tree as a the car accident killed him on the spot.

But now that she's given a second chance she saved half of her family. She started with her grandmother by making her go to the hospital as she pointed out things about the signs of her illness which she told them that she read in the book. It worked and saving her lovely grandmother was successful as she was treated so soon.

The next one was rather as the moment she asked her father to not go on that business, the man immediately complied and called a colleague of his to fill in his spot...either way it's another success.

Her second chance is truly such a blessing!

Not only was her family alive and she's completely healthy, she's also living in the same world with her favorites and even get to hang out with them.

She's been here at an early age and yet... how come she couldn't prevent certain things despite knowing beforehand that there certain events that are going going to happen.

As she recalled in that one dream where she's 12, she was afraid of the consequences she has to face which caused for those several hesitations to happen...

Because she let the cowardice get the best of her, some of her friends still suffered.

The past her could've prevented Mikey from hurting Haruchiyo by staying by Senju's side or hiding the toy...

The eldest Sano's accident could've been completely prevented if the past her just told Kazutora and Keisuke about Shinichiro and his shop.

The past her could've saved Akane, not have Seishu get harmed, and traumatize both him and Kokonoi because of that fire accident.

The past her could've stopped Taiju's abuse on his siblings earlier.

Despite knowing a lot of information about the story...

Including when she got into an accident in world and have her forget about important things.

She still doesn't know as she's still yet to recall and have those puzzle pieces to gather and piece them together.

With that said, the third, fourth, fifth and so on continued to be all good and pleasant but as time went on...

The bright smiles she'd always see on her own self in those previous dreams somehow or somewhat felt different and loosing its radiance just like how the spark or shine in her eyes too as the dreams she saw became more sad and heart wrenching..

A dream where heard her own self screaming on the top of her lungs – a heartbreaking wail and sobs passing through her quivering lips under the dark sky as the heavy rain poured down on her.

She's older this time. She looks around 17 or 18.

"Why?! Why?! Was the words she kept shouting with each slam of her clenched fists on the wet ground. "No matter how many times I keep on trying why does everyone keep on dying and leaving me?!"

The [Y/n] in that dream had heavy tears streaming down her face but since it was pouring down so heavily, her tears wasn't so obvious.

She stood up and raised her head to shoot a menacing glare with fury and hatred in her eyes that had lost its spark...for who knows how long since when.

She was glaring, screaming, and speaking to the bright full moon above her.

"Did you give me a curse in a blessing's disguise?! Is that it, huh?!" She grits her teeth before letting herself fall down on the ground to her knees. "Am I...really fated to have a miserable life?" She let out sob as she inhaled a shaky breath.

"Is this just your way of telling me that I shouldn't be so greedy or have hope to live a happy life with the people I love and cherish?" She buries her face into her palms while her shoulders trembled along with her breath and words.

"I'm tired, please." She pleaded in a hush voice that cracked when she spoke again. "Don't make me go back in time if I can't save my family and friends...or change their fates no matter how hard I try in trying to do so."

She pulled her face away from her palms. The underside of her hands was bleeding and it hurt...but the pain she felt in her heart wasn't so close to the kind of pain she's currently feeling.

[Y/n] looked at the moon again, but instead of a gaze that was filled with hatred like earlier, it turned soft yet still heartbreaking if someone were to pass and see.

"Don't make me return..and just let me go back to the real world. I'll live the remaining time I have there." she whispered as the tears in her eyes continued to spill out and trail down her face along with the cold rain.

"I'd rather die right now than go through that excruciating experience once more..."

That heart wrenching dream ended there when she whispered those words in a hush voice that cracked.

"[Y/n]...?"

The said girl who's fifteen in this...nightmare instantly turned her head to face the person who called for her with her eyes wide.

She and her both looked at each other with horrified expressions present on their faces.

"I-I...huh? Mom? What're you.." she stammered while glancing back and forth to the body that was covered in blood on tatami floor of their house.

"Sweetie.." Youko softly called for her daughter and when she took a step forward, the teen flinched.

"Don't! Do-Don't come any closer!" She shouted before swallowing the lump in her throat that suddenly turned dry. "I..I don't wanna hurt you too, mom..." she said in voice that cracked as her eyes turned glassy.

"It's alright, [Y/n]." Her mother assured with such a loving gaze and tender smile. It made the young girl drop the bloody knife and fell down on her knees.

"We were just talking..and then..before I knew it she's on the floor with all this blood while I have that knife in my hand!!" She started to wail like a child while wiping the nonstop tears away from her eyes.

"What should I do, mom? I'm a murderer!" She exclaimed with clear panic and fear evident in her eyes as her breath hitched. "I didn't mean to kill Rikka, b-but I...I did!"

"There, There, sweetheart..." Youko softly said while rubbing her daughter's back after embracing her shaking figure to comfort her. "You'll be okay." She gently pulls her daughter away to show an assuring smile.

"I promise."

That dream ended with Youko in prison while she talks with her husband and son. She eventually asked them on where her lovely daughter was...

When [Y/n] woke up with sweat dripping down her face, she immediately went to her mother and hugged her tightly for about a minute or two.

After that, she bid the older woman good bye and left as soon as she changed into her school uniform for school without even giving an explanation for her weird behavior.

There stood two people in a place that was abandoned.

A woman who has her brows furrowed deeply and has her teeth clenched, glared at the person that stood meters away from her.

"You're already living a good and happy life with the others!" She shouted so angrily and loudly that it resonated throughout the unfinished building. " I made sure of that! So why the hell..."

The 18 year old [Y/n] grits her teeth as she continues to stare at the man with fury in her [e/c]. "Why the hell did you even come looking for me, Takemichi?!"

"It's not fair for you that we're the only ones who are living a happy life." Replied the now black haired male through a melancholic smile as he takes steps forward towards her.

"I told you before. cursed!" She shouted again through frustration. "You guys might end up dying again like how you all always do if I stay by you or side!"

She grabs the collar of Takemichi's shirt when he was within arm's length. "And you know damn well that I'd rather live this kind of life alone than go through another loop."

She glowered and despite having such a scary expression, the male who's face would always turn pale just by the sight of that didn't falter or show any signs of fear in his eyes just like how in their teenage days.

"[Y/n]-san." Takemichi puts a hand on her shoulder in a gentle manner. "You have friends and family that misses you every single day." He told her with his lips stretching widely.

"I want you to know that you aren't alone." His kind and genuine words like his smile reached his blue eyes. "Let me share your burden and help you just like how you did to me for who knows how many times..." His gaze was soft like how he talked as he chuckled the next and grinned from ear to ear.

"And I'm sure everyone feels the same."

[Y/n] felt her eyes sting when she came into contact with Takemichi's sparkling ones. She always admired that determination of his and would sometimes become jealous of it...

She felt her heart clench as she nibbled on her lower lip after turning around and letting the male face her back.

"I can't be saved." She quietly told him in a voice that almost cracked. "...Because this curse is unbreakable."

Takemichi noticed the sorrowful look in her eyes that also looked tired – or drained when she turned her head to glance at him.

"We'll find ways! I'll help–"

"We did." [Y/n] cuts him off in a stern voice. "And that resulted in your or my death..." she lets out a deep sigh as two people comes into view and approaches them.

"Go back home, Takemichi." She told him while Hanma puts a jacket over her shoulders. "Make sure he returns back safely and that the queen's men doesn't spot him."

"As you command, my king." Rikka replies with a bow and a mischievous smirk on her face before giggling after she saw [Y/n] roll her eyes and let out a tired sigh while beckoning for her to just move.

"Follow me, Mister Hanagaki~" the two left with the woman practically dragging Takemichi away without a single protest.

That dream ended before [Y/n] could even see or hear what she and Hanma in that fantasy was supposed to talk about as she was woken up by her friends during her sleepover at the Sano household...

"A hero?" The eight year old [Y/n] scoffed in front of a kid that has a big star printed on his white shirt while a red cape hangs on his shoulders.

"Don't make me laugh. There's nothing good with playing superhero." She scorned as she looked down on the young Takemichi and Hinata with hollow eyes that made them feel shivers run down their spine as their face turned pale.

"T-That's not true!" Hinata interjects with a trembling body and panic in her eyes. "He just saved me from those bullies, and that's a good thing you know! S-Stop being a m-mea-meanie to him." Her words became even more shaky when [Y/n] looked at her.

"Oh, yeah?" She mumbled before sneering at the two kids who were scared of their wits when she showed such a scary expression compared from a moment ago.

" were saved, but who was the one who tried to help or save from getting beaten up earlier, huh?" She rolled her eyes then narrowed it as contempt was visible in it.

"Heed my advice and stop with the foolish heroic acts." She let out another before turning around on her heel. "In a filthy world that's filled unfairness, you should be realistic." She coldly said as tears were now seen on the corner of their eyes.

"You may not understand it now since you're still young..and filled with so much innocence." With a frown now on her she face, she starts to walk away from them after lastly telling them,

"You'll come to understand what I mean when you grow older, but for the time being enjoy being a kid because you'll always wish that you were one forever."

The 21 year old [Y/n] was all bloody again. Despite just having killed a person, there was no hint of remorse or any emotion seen in her [e/c] as it was only dull.

"Shuji." She called for the tall figure which approached her and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

"Yes, my king?" He inquired with a hint of playfulness in his tone while he starts to rub his cheek on top of the [h/c] girl's head who didn't exactly care about what he's doing...unlike before when they were younger.

"Spread the word about what'll exactly happen to the people who'd dare to betray me and this organization." She told him in a stern voice. "And tell Tetta to come to me. We still need to continue our discussion about yesterday's deal with the Russian mafia folks."

Hanma pulls away and pecks the female's cheek that felt cold against his hot lips. "Anything for you, doll."

And as he takes his leave, another person enters the room. She looks around the same age as her but a little taller and charismatic just like her.

The adult woman has bleached silver hair that reaches pass her shoulders and her hairstyle was in a hush haircut while her bangs was parted in the middle.

"Boss." Rikka Hasegawa called with a serious expression on her face feature. "Your friends are outside the building again and Hat– The queen doesn't look too pleased about seeing them again."

"How many and who?" [Y/n] asked as she lights herself a cigarette.

"Two. Manjiro Sano and Izana Kurokawa." Replied the silver haired woman with a small hum.

"...Those two did cause quite a scene before. They put all of Hatsumi's men in the hospital with broken limbs so I understand her being infuriated with those two."

"What should I do with them?" Rikka inquired after chuckling deeply at the memory.

"As long as they don't barge themselves inside again, let them be."

The two women walked out of the room to go to a certain place inside the building. Rikka was talking to someone in the phone and while she was busy with that, [Y/n] looked outside the window.

Since they're currently at the second floor, she could clearly see those two familiar figures that was under the same umbrella.

The sun was shining brightly and it looks like it was scorching hot outside since it was indeed summer, only in this dream...

Narrowing her eyes, she opened her mouth. "Those two are idiots."

After she mumbled those words, the dream ended once again.

She stood inside a room that was a little dark and she has that hollow and cold her look in her eyes and face once again. It showed no emotion but clear boredom while she focused her gaze on someone.

The latest dream had is when she killed Masashi by stabbing him to death.

And now back to the present time...