y/n's pov

its been an hour ever since me and matt kissed. id do anything to do it again. i need to control myself right now. im gonna ask nick if he wants to go clothes shopping now. i cant wear matt's clothes every day

me: nick do you wanna go clothes shopping now

nick: if it makes you feel better then of course

me: let's go then

nick: y/n, you know that you can talk to me about anything, right?

me: yea why

nick: it just looks like youre more comfortable with matt

me: nick, its just so hard for me right now. theres a huge part of my life thats still a secret. your my favorite and you know that

nick: i love having you as a friend

me: so do i

me: well, i can see that matt likes me

nick: what? he told you?

me: he uh kissed me. dont tell him i said that

nick: HE HAS A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU

me: NICK! you are so loud

nick: oh right sorry

i laugh at his stupidity

me: im gonna get ready. can i borrow some clothes so i dont look like an ugly frog

nick: yea sure come

we go to his room. wtf he has so many clothes

nick: wait actually we can go online shopping

me: thats a good idea, i wouldnt have to socialize with anyone

nick: exactly the reason i barely ever go shopping in person

we spent a little bit too much but its fine, at least ill look good 24/7. we also got my brother some clothes because he needed it. nick is the best friend i could ever ask for, better than matt. maybe not better. i love them both equally but nick is just a bit better. im not really that close to chris. i want to be but i just dont know how to do it. back to the clothes. i think theyre coming in two weeks. what would i do without nick like im going through so much right now and i dont know what to do about it. i wish i could just forget. i try to but it never works. my sister deserved a better life. she was such an innocent and sweet person. i know ill see her later. i should probably tell nick about her. i trust him most

me: uhm nick

nick: yea?

me: you know how i was saying there was a huge part of my life that you dont know about? i dont even know how i never told you all when we met.

nick: y/n, talk to me. just get it off your chest

me: thats the hard part

nick: take your time

me: im gonna cry for the second time today

nick: its okay y/n im always here for you

me: how do i even say this? its so hard to talk about

nick: you dont have to say it

me: i want to i just need to figure out how im gonna explain it

nick: we can talk about it later when you know how to say it

me: its my uh-...i had another sibling

nick: had. mhm

me: yea she uh...took her own life

nick: oh my gosh y/n im so sorry

he pulls me into a quick hug

me: so what happened was my dad was being the idiot that he is and abusing the shit out of her until she couldnt take it anymore. she sent me a text and left me confused. later that night her body was found. i dont know where but i just wish that i was there for her more. maybe if i showed her more love then she would still be with me

nick: no y/n, dont blame this on yourself. its not your fault

me: ill show you the text

i show him the text looking away not wanting to read it again

nick: i cant believe what your going through. does anyone else know about what happened to her?

me: just you and me

nick: im guessing you never got over your depression and just hid it from us

me: im so sorry

nick: dont say sorry

me: sorry

nick: you did it again

me: sor- nevermind

nick: i love you y/n, you can always talk to me about this like that. ill listen

me: thank you for always being there for me nick

he smiles at me

nick: do you wanna go get your favorite ice cream

me: THAT Ben and Jerry's ice cream?

nick: i mean why not

i smile back at him

me: no one could ever match you

nick: i know, im a great friend

that resulted in me playfully hitting his arm

nick: lets go

we get out of his room and rush downstairs.

nick: WERE LEAVING!

chris: WHERE

chris runs downstairs

chris: where are you guys going without me?

me: we're getting ice cream because i feel like shit

then matt comes down. i smile at him

matt: ice cream?

chris: theyre leaving without us

matt: BETRAYAL

chris: please let us come

nick: only if y/n is okay with it

me: i guess you can come

nick: just be extra nice

chris: im always nice

matt: i dont think so chris

chris: shut up lover boy

nick: guys shut up

me: ok im gonna go to my car

matt and chris: IM RIDING IN SHOTGUN

me: no need for that, nick's sitting in the front

nick: im the favorite

chris: we know that

matt: do you have an aux

me: nick's getting it

matt: fml

chris: i swear to God if you guys scream

nick: we will

we all get in the car and since nick gets the aux, he plays doja, the queen

we scream the song as the two boys in the back tell us to stop

chris: SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPPP

matt: BRO BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP

we turn it up and sing louder

matt: STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

chris: IM GONNA JUMP OUT THE WINDOW

nick: stop whining

me: children

chris: shut up

i laugh at his response

once we make it to target, me and nick stop screaming doja. we get the stuff and head back. we made sure to get spoons because we wanted to eat the ice cream in the car. we start to eat pretty quietly with a small laugh at the silence every once and a while

chris: so if you arent gonna talk i will

me: then talk

chris: matt looks fine as hell right now

me: i agree

chris: what

me: what

nick: ship names?

me: nick shut up

nick: it should be (come up with a ship name)

matts pov

me: nick stfu like fr

nick: can i say it

me: fuck you

nick: just for that-

me: STOP NICK

y/n looks at me with a small smile. bro did he actually tell her

me: did you tell her?

chris: y/n is definitely gonna take my boyfriend

y/n: i might 😏😏😏

chris' pov

me: damn i feel betrayed by matt

bro if they like each other i will cry for days. im acting like i dont care but i do. i fr said that y/n is gonna take matt from me when its the other way around. not like i have a chance with y/n anyway, she probably likes matt

y/n: you should

i can see matt looking a little worried

matt: uh so do you wanna make a car video?

y/n: sure

nick: topic?

matt: answering questions

y/n's pov

we start the camera and nick gets on his phone to look for questions to answer.

while he looks, matt and chris do the intro

chris: hi guys today were gonna answer questions

matt: we also have a special guest in the drivers seat since she took my spot

chris: y/n!

me: hi guys! im y/n. most of you know me but some of you dont so maybe these questions will help you to get to know me better.

nick: i have the first question here. who was born first? im the oldest, matt is the middle child, and chris is the youngest

matt: that had nothing to do with y/n but next

nick: well yea, how were they supposed to know she was gonna be here

chris: just read the next one

nick: ok uh... here's a good one. what are you hoping to achieve in the future? im hoping to have a bigger fan base and socialize with people more

matt: um i dont know, maybe the same as nick

chris: this isnt really achieving something but maybe talking about my feelings to people more

me: better mental health

it goes silent

nick: oh uh sorry

i look at chris since he doesnt really know anything but he looks at me confused

matt and nick look at me with sorrow in their eyes

chris: bro is there something you know that i dont

me: nothing you need to worry about

chris: okay, uh next question then

then chris texts me

the boys continue the video as we text

chris in an abyss

chris: are you okay

me: not now chris, im gonna cry on camera if i say anything

chris: its fine, talk to me when we go home

me:i hate today

chris: same

me: why do you hate it

chris: ive been thinking about us

me: ayo what

chris: not like that

chris:i meant in a friend way

me: oh what about it

chris: we arent that close

me: true, im closer to matt and nick

chris: i wanna make our friendship stronger

me: same

chris: when you feel better after talking to me, do u want to try and hang out and talk more

me: yea sure

chris: wait i had a question

me: yea

chris: are you and matt like yk

me: oh uh we kissed once but we havent made it official yet

chris: oh ok

nick: ok thank you for watching guys make sure to follow me, matt, and chris on socials and dont forget to follow y/n too.

they already finished the video? that was so short. maybe because i was typing slow asf. i feel bad for not participating. nick stops the camera and looks at me and chris.

nick: why didnt you guys talk

we sit in silence. hes definitely gonna make us remake the video.

nick: whatever its fine, all of the comments are gonna be assuming stuff tho

me: sorry

the rest of the ride home was pretty boring and quiet

——————

we make it home and i quickly get in the house then to chris' room trying not to talk to or encounter anyone. they probably think that we have something together but we dont. i dont even like chris like that.

soon enough, chris is in his room

me: finally, it took you long enough

chris: sorry

me: uh anyway, the thing i was gonna say

chris: yea, go ahead

me: it feels so weird talking about it. i dont even know where to start

chris: its okay y/n

me: so long ago i uh had a sister

chris had a very confused and concerned look on his face. i ignore it and continue

me: she, well, got abused...like alot..more than me

i paused trying to hold back my tears

(im sorry this is so repetitive 😭 i keep making you talk to everyone about it omf thank God chris is the last one)

chris: you dont have to hold back your tears, sometimes you have to just let it out

a single tear rolled down my cheek. i felt it fall of my face and onto chris' bed

me: then uh...she got tired of all the abuse and stuff so she uhm...im sorry chris. i cant

all the tears escaped my eyes. i didnt even finish my damn sentence

chris: hey its okay y/n

me: im so sorry

chris: dont be

me: i didnt even finish that sentence...so then she took her own life

that part was so hard to get out but i did it

chris: oh my gosh y/n im so sorry. why didnt you tell me before

me: it was so hard to

chris: how long have you kept that a secret?

me: i dont even know. its been so long.

chris: what was her name

me: elliana. she was so sweet and caring towards me and emery

speaking of emery, i look at him still asleep. how is he still asleep? maybe beacause he hasnt slept in days. i dont think ive ever seen anyone sleep for that long

me: wow. hes still asleep. i should wake him up

me: emery, wake up

i shake him a bit

emery: y/n?

me: its me

emery: i finally got some sleep! do you wanna know what i was dreaming about?

my eyes were still red from crying. i hope he couldnt tell

me: what did you dream about

emery: you and chris kissed! i saw it all happen! do you like him?

me: no emery, i dont like chris like that. hes just my really good friend.

emery: then do you like nick?

me: nick only likes men

emery: what about matt

thats enough 😍🔫

me: lets just stop talking about this

chris' pov

and of course y/n doesnt say anything when he asked if she liked matt. she does

emery: okay..im hungry

y/n: what do you wanna eat?

emery: uhhhhhhhhhhh i want

y/n: do you want waffles?

emery: yes

me: ill make them

emery: thank you chris!

me: for my favorite person

———————

i finish making him the waffles and give them to him

me: do you like them

emery: i love them! thank you

i felt like crying. he was probably starved just like y/n was. i feel so bad for them. they deserve better. we should get cps on their dad's ass

time skip

y/n's pov

its time to go to bed. again. today was a long day. gonna get into matts clothes and go to nicks room

me: hey nick

nick: y/n get your ass in the bed before i fall asleep

...

nick: is that matts clothes again?

-you have a hot brother so yes-

me: oh yea it is

nick: you guys need to become a thing

me: maybe you can become my future brother in law

nick: and my sister in law

me: i hope so

nick: careful

me: why

nick: chris is a huge simp for matt

me: wouldnt blame him

nick: what about me

me: were already married nicolas

nick: so were using unnicknamed names?

me: yes we are nicolas antonio sturniolo

nick: ok y/n y/m/n y/l/n

me: lets not make this a thing

nick: why not

me: im too tired to even talk

nick: fr

me: goodnight nick

nick: night y/n

ten minutes later

me: nick i cant sleep

nick: same here

me: why cant you sleep

nick: got a burst of energy but cant get up. you?

me: matt

nick: im nick...OH YOU MEANT-

me: yea

nick: what specifically are you thinking about

me: mustve been that kiss

nick: i know you love him y/n. you two are meant for each other

me: you think so

nick: definitely

me: that kiss is replaying in my head. i can literally tell you how many times i breathed in and out

nick: oh? how many times

me: is that a bird in the corner of your room?

nick: STOOOOOOOOOOP

me: whats so scary about them

nick: THEY CAN FLY

matts pov

i walk to nicks room because this kid is screaming in the middle of the night

i open his door with a lot of force because i was trying to sleep and all i can hear is nick

then y/n covers her face and turns away scared

wtf did i do

did nick do something

bro what

she looks back at me with relief

y/n: you scared the shit outta me matt

matt: what did i do

y/n: you literally opened the door just like my dad

matt: im so sorry i forgot

nick: why are you even here

matt: maybe because you were screaming while i was trying to sleep

nick: she mentioned

matt: i dont get why youre so scared of them

nick:

y/n's pov

bro matt scared the hell out of me. i felt myself shaking before i looked back and saw matt

me: anyway, goodnight matt. dont do that again

nick: yea or ill body slam you to the ground

matt: sorry y/n

me: its fine

nick: simp

matt: shut up

me: were you talking to matt

nick: yea

matts pov

im bouta smack nick to another dimension. if he doesnt shut up then i will kms because the embarrassment is 📈📈📈

——————————

i cant sleep because ive been thinking about y/n and how scared she got when i opened the door how i did. i wish i never did that. i feel so bad for scaring her

——————————

y/n's pov

i cant sleep because ive been thinking about matt and that kiss. i love him so much. i dont think ill ever stop loving him

_____________________________

you and matt are both thinking about each other 😏

i wish i could have what i write

you look gorgeous

im sorry for the trashiness of this story

i didnt proofread so lmk if i made any mistakes please

sorry for publishing this so late

good day to you ❤️