I've been hoping somebody loves you in the ways I couldn't

Somebody's taking care of all of the mess I made, someone you don't have to change

I've been hoping someone will love you

Let me go...

-Let Me Go by Hailee Steinfield ft FGL

******

Julia stared at me. She was so fucking hard to read. She didn't look angry, but she also didn't look happy either. Eileen was in my bedroom still, I didn't want her to feel any more guilt than she already did.

"I really want to know what I'm missing here, Alex," Julia finally said. "She said she was your friend."

I sat down next to her. It wasn't that she wasn't beautiful, she was. There's no way to force a connection with someone though, and it never existed between us.

"She is my friend, Jules." I cleared my throat, trying to think of how to explain things without hurting her too much. "She just isn't only my friend."

"Explain, Alex. I don't want half excuses, I want the truth. I thought we could work things out, I thought we were fine."

"We had a relationship that kind of ended a year ago."

"Kind of?" She asked with an incredulous look.

"Yes. She had to leave town after some things happened." I scoffed, there was no way she would understand. "We went through a lot of shit, and I mean, shit that no one should ever go through. That was us together, she's been through even more on her own. Long story short, she needed time on her own so she left."

Julia nodded, an interested look in her eyes. I took it as a sign to continue.

"I didn't know when she was coming back, and I'm not going to tell you I thought I was over her, I knew I wasn't. That was my mistake though, I should have fucking known. But she did, she came back and I've been trying to push it away but I don't want to do this shit to you. I was going to talk to you last night but-"

"I didn't show."

"Yeah, you didn't show. Nothing happened between us, Jules. But if it had..."

"You wouldn't regret it," she finished once again for me.

"I wouldn't."

A pregnant silence enveloped us. It unnerved me that she wasn't angry but it showed that she had matured greatly from when we were together before.

"I wasn't going to come until after noon," she said, wiping away a tear. "Addie called me and said you needed to talk to me and then I walked in on you and Eileen asleep."

"Fucking Addie," I muttered. "She's being fucking bitchy, I don't know why."

"Yeah, she doesn't seem to like Eileen... Is she the reason why you haven't touched me?"

I nodded, not bothering to hurt her further by saying it.

"I had told my father about us," Julia said. "I thought, you know, that we might actually have a chance this time. I know our engagement before was a bit forced, but I thought things were different this time. We're older, I thought that you'd finally wan to settle down."

"I do."

"But not with me."

"Not with you."

Addie walked in, and she looked as if she was a deer caught in the headlights.

"You, sit," I said to her, pointing a chair. "Now Adeleine, we're going to settle this shit."

"Don't talk to me like that."

"Then don't act like a fucking brat," I sneered. "What the fuck is your problem? Calling Julia, making her find Eileen and I like that? You call yourself her friend yet hurt her that way?"

"I don't like Eileen," Addie muttered.

"I should leave," Julia said. "Can I go talk to Eileen first, though?

I hesitated for a moment, but nodded. Hopefully Eileen wouldn't mind.

"That's it? You broke up with her?"

"Yes. Tell me, what is going on Addie. You had no problem with her before and all of a sudden you do. I won't tolerate that, you're a grown up, start acting like it. She's younger than you, for fuck's sake. She's twenty two, and she's more mature than you. If you have a problem with her you need to tell me, and give me a good reason because she has done nothing to you."

"She left you, Alex. She fucking left you. What tells you that she won't leave again if things get rough? If you two have a problem? She'll just hurt you again! You're my brother, I don't want her to hurt you."

"Addie, she won't. She doesn't run from her issues. If you knew the full story you'd understand but it's not my place to tell you. If one day I do, it'll be because she gave me her consent."

"Why do you want someone like that? With so many fucking issues, I don-"

"It's not your place to get it, Adeleine. I've spent the past what, seven years caring for you? You're no longer a child, and I expect you to act like the adult you are. You may not like her, but you sure as hell will respect her unless you don't want me to speak to you again."

Addie looked like she was about to cry. I placed my hands on her shoulders. I understood her point of view, but she was stubborn, just like our father had been. She could never see the other side of any situation. It was hell getting her through high school and university.

"And Luke, I don't know what you're problem is with him but he's always been a part of the family, you know that. Don't be a brat, you're better than that."

Addie nodded, gave me a kiss on the cheek and then went to the bedroom she was staying in. This was going to be a hell of a day.

"I'm naive, aren't I? I should have noticed how he looked at you, how he talked about you."

I sighed. This was incredibly uncomfortable.

"We should have told you, Julia, that was our mistake."

She looked like she was holding back tears. She had truly been nothing but nice to me, nicer than Addie even, we at least owed her an explanation.

"I never had a chance with him, did I?"

"I don't know, Julia. I do wish you the best though... I'm sorry that things ended up this way."

"You're not."

I narrowed my eyes on her. I wasn't sure if that was a dig at me or not, but I wasn't going to risk it.

"I think this conversation is pretty much over, Julia."

"Yes," she said nodding. Just as she was opening the door, she stopped, turning around. "I'll be in town for a while, so I'm sure I'll be seeing you around. Have a good day, Eileen."

*******

I debated whether or not trying to speak with Addie would make a difference. As much as I wanted to avoid the conversation with her, it was inevitable.

Despite her ignoring me, I decided to talk to her. After all, she was Alex sister. I was going to be the bigger person- if after that things didn't work, then I wouldn't beg. It would be up to Alex to make a decision.

I knocked on the door to her room, she didn't open. After a few more tries I opened it only to find that there was no one there.

I then went to Luke's room; he was so nosy he always knew where everyone was.

"Luke, have you se- HOLY SHIT!!"

"Oh fuck!" Yelled Luke, pulling the sheets over Addie. "Eileen, don't you know to knock?"

"I've learned from you!!" I yelled, still covering my eyes. "I will be scarred forever!!!"

"Please don't say anything to Alex," Addie said, her voice small.

I uncovered my eyes slowly, not wanting to risk seeing something else. "Uhm, I won't if you get dressed and talk to me."

I started laughing then at the irony of the situation. She despised me yet needed my help now.

Oh karma.

"I'll wait for you out on the porch," I said to Addie, "I need to rinse out my eyes with bleach first."

A smiling Alex walked up to me, casual as ever. We knew things were different now. Our lives had changed dramatically from the time we had met. We'd grown up, we were different people now.

And yet one thing remained the same; us.

Our connection hadn't faded. It was as if the link between us had only grown stronger with our time apart.

"Julia left," he murmured, pulling me into his arms. "What are you doing out here? It's getting chilly."

"I'm waiting for Addie," I replied.

He cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow in question.

"We're going to talk," I told him.

"She's not much of the talking type," Alex said, concern etched on his face.

"I think she wants to talk this time," I said remembering what I had seen.

"I hope so," he said. "So, Julia and I are over."

I smiled.

"And?"

"That means I can kiss you now," he said tilting my chin up. "You have no idea how fucking long I've wanted to kiss you."

"What are you waiting for?" I asked, already feeling breathless.

He was so close, his minty breath fanned my skin. It was as if it was the first time we were going to kiss. So close-

"Eileen? Can we talk?"

Alex groaned, leaning his forehead against mine.

"Dammit, Addie. You have the worst timing."

"I'm sorry, I can wait if you want."

I pulled away from Alex and shook my head .

"Oh no, Addie. We're talking now."

Alex glanced between, seemingly confused as to what was going on. Nevertheless, he walked inside when I gave him a reassuring smile. I was left with his nervous sister, and I felt amused. Maybe it was wrong of me to feel that way, but it gave me some sort of satisfaction to know that she'd at least have to force herself to be civil with me.

"Eileen, about what-"

I stopped her before she could say anything. I was going to do the talking first, we would see later on if she had anything interesting to say.

"No, this is what's going to happen. You will respect me. I understand that Alex is your brother but I have done absolutely nothing to you. You're a teacher aren't you? Then I can imagine you care for the children you teach. Imagine that a thousand-fold, even then it wouldn't compare to the love I felt, I feel for my daughter."

Addie opened her mouth, but once again, I stopped her.

"I won't say anything to Alex, because it isn't my place, but you will need to tell him because I will not hide this from him. If he suspects, I'll tell him the truth."

Her eyes widened at my last statement.

"I won't say anything unless he suspects something, Addie. But I don't want to hide anything from him." She relaxed a little bit and nodded. "Look, I know that you don't agree with what I did. I never wanted to hurt Alex, and I don't expect you to understand until you're a mother. Only then will you have a small idea of the pain that I still, to this day, feel. I hope you never have to live through it."

"He's my brother," Addie said. "He's the only one that's been there for me, even when my parents were around. He'd never been so devastated, Eileen. I had never seen him in so much pain."

I sighed. It was at least a good thing that she was not arguing anymore, then again it was in her best interest not to.

"So, you and Lucas are a thing?" I asked her raising an eyebrow.

She shook her head, rolling her eyes. "No, it's just something that happens sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

"Yeah. He pisses me off."

"So you have sex with him?"

"Kind of." Addie said so nonchalantly that it surprised me. No feelings attached, just plain sex. "Alex would kill me if he knew though, and well Lucas, I don't know if he'd ever be able to have children."

"You two need to tell him, Addie. I don't want to be in the middle of this. I care for Lucas and I know that Alex does too. Don't get him in trouble."

We made small talk for the rest of the evening. Lucas barely even talked to me, seemingly embarrassed as to what I saw. I had seen far too much indeed. Alex was surprised at the "sudden" improvement in the relationship between Adeleine and I, I just hoped that when he found out there wouldn't be too many issues.

I decided it was best to go home, after all, my dad had only received a single text message from me during the whole day after I left the night before. Once we arrived, Alex walked me to the door holding my hand.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked, placing a lock of my hair behind my ear. "I want to take you out for dinner."

I nodded, leaning into his touch.

"Okay," he whispered. My breathing hitched when he leaned down. I waited anxiously for his lips to touch mine, but they never did. Instead, he kissed the corner of my mouth, so close yet far away from where I wanted him.

I opened my eyes only to find him smirking.

"Tease," I muttered.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Eileen."

A/N: So it's over between Alex and Julia.

And Luke and Addie. Interesting right?

Let me know your thoughts!

The next part will be... Interesting, to say the least.

By the way, we are so very close to 10K. Thank you so much for all the support. When I started about 3 weeks ago I never thought this would be the outcome.

-Luz❤