I waited anxiously on the bed. The water was still running, but I feared what Alex wanted to talk about. The way he had behaved during the day led me to believe that whatever it was had the potential to change our relationship, and that terrified me.

When he walked out of the restroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist my breathing hitched. He acted like he didn't notice and proceeded to dry himself off in front of me, his eyes not once wavering from mine.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked, with a shaky voice.

He laid back on the bed naked, not bothering with boxers. I bit my lip, noticing how hard he was without us even touching.

"Come here," he said, patting his legs.

I debated for a moment, but obeyed and straddled him on the bed. With his lack of clothes, and the flimsy shirt and lace underwear I wore, there was hardly anything between us. He didn't seem bothered though, only lifting his hand to caress my face.

"I want you to get on birth control," he said after a moment. I lowered my gaze out of the sudden sadness that invaded my senses, but he lifted my chin up. "It's not that I don't want a baby with you, Eileen. Under the circumstances we're in, I want to focus on caring for you and Angie. If you get pregnant, and something happens to you and the baby I would always regret it."

He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead and I immediately relaxed.

"If you'd like, we can try for a baby as soon as this mess is over."

I attempted to hide my smile, yet found it was impossible. He chuckled softly, before speaking up again.

"There's something else we need to discuss, though."

"What is it?" I asked.

"I don't need details about what happened to you, I need to know what your limits are when it comes to sex. I need to know what you want in order to feel comfortable with me and to avoid misunderstandings."

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. I hadn't placed much thought on the subject. I felt safe with him and didn't think such conversation was necessary.

"Is there anything that you aren't willing to do, Eileen?"

When I didn't reply, he sighed, running his hands over my bare legs. I shivered at his touch.

"Oral?"

Immediately my mind traveled to the first time Gerald had forced himself on me. I shook my head.

"See, baby? I don't want something to happen between us that triggers those memories. You don't have to do oral if you don't want to."

"No, not yet.." I murmured.

"Not yet?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

I nodded. I wanted to please him just as much as he pleased me, but the memory of how that situation had happened with Gerald was in the back of my mind. I trusted that Alex would slowly erase all those memories, replacing them with his touch, with his kisses.

"I'm afraid of not having control," I whispered. "The idea of being physically vulnerable scares me.."

Alex pondered on my words. It must not have been easy for someone like him, who had such an easy going life before me to now carry this load with him. He seemed to come to a conclusion and gave me a small smile.

"Do you trust me, Eileen?"

"Yes," I replied without hesitation.

"Then take off your clothes."

Despite my fears, I did as I was told and removed the few garments of clothing that I had on. I positioned myself on top of him once again. His grip tightened on my hips when his tip made contact with my already heated core. Alex clenched his jaw, but made no effort to move me or to be inside me. The lust in his eyes betrayed the control he appeared to have.

"I want you to take this as far as you'd like, Eileen." His muscles were tense; he was struggling to hand the reigns over to me. "I want to show you that with me, you can stop or start whenever you want, without fear. You will always have as much control as me, in any given situation."

"What do you mean?" I asked, even though his words were clear.

"I mean, that if you want me to make love to you, I will. If you want me to fuck you, I will. And if you want to stop halfway through, we will."

My lips parted at his words, a shaky breath leaving them. I shifted slightly, rubbing against him and a small whimper escaped. His attention traveled to my breasts for a brief second, before meeting my eyes again.

"Tell me what you want."

"I need control," I whispered. "I don't really know what else to say, Alex."

My body was burning, it was on fire and I didn't know how to control it. I answered his question, but I knew he wanted more. He wanted to prove himself to me, and I didn't know if I could handle that yet.

"You don't have to say anything," he murmured, his gazed steady on my own. Alex took my hand in his, placing it over his bare chest. I tried to ignore the electricity between us, still, just his touch left me breathless. He pulled me down, kissing me with such force I thought I was going to explode then and there. "You want control, Eileen? Then take it."

I looked at him intently before leaning down and kissing him again. I kissed him hard, with all the passion within me. He had awakened a part of me that I didn't think existed. I began grinding my hips against him, sparks of electricity accumulated in my very sensitive heat.

"You're so wet for me," his husky voice said. His hands never left my hips, while my lips left his to kiss his jaw.

Even though we'd been intimate several times, I had never taken the time to explore his body. I'd seen him, but my touch never wandered. I was still apprehensive, yet now that I had the chance to touch him, to feel every muscle, to learn what he liked, I wasn't going to let the opportunity go.

He groaned when my hips moved once again and my fingers dug into his chest.

I wanted him, I needed him. I sat up, my hips moving in circles on top of his hard member. With the movements, he was hitting the place where I needed the most friction, making me bite my lip to control the sounds leaving my mouth. His eyes were focused on each and every one of my movements, it wasn't enough. I grew bold and took his hands in mine, placing them on top of my breasts that were so desperately needing attention.

"Is this what you wanted?" he asked, as he rolled my nipples between his fingers.

I whimpered, growing desperate. Yes, I wanted his touch, but I needed more.

"Alex... I..."

"I wont do it unless you tell me baby."

"I need you Alex.. Please," the words came out as a breathy moan, despite my efforts to sound in control.

He groaned, lifting his hips just slightly. His hands lowered to my waist and he guided me on top of him, allowing me to completely engulf him.

"Oh fuck." He closed his eyes, while his grip tightened, stopping me from making any movements on top of him.

He was deeper than he had ever been. We'd never ventured much to other positions, other than earlier on the dresser. His eyes looked at me in delight, as I started moving slowly on top of him. Back and forth, up and down. His fingers once again found my nipples, pinching them causing my core to throb around him.

His name left my lips over and over as a prayer. I was so close, so close to letting go but I needed his help. I don't know if it was the pleading look in my eyes, or the desperate way in which I leaned down to kiss him, he raised his hips off the bed, pushing into me even deeper than before.

"Oh Alex... please... I'm so close.."

One of his hands reached between us, pressing his thumb over my bundle of nerves, while the other one tangled in my hair, pulling me back so that his lips were on my neck.

I didn't want control anymore. I wanted to be his. I trusted him enough to know that whether we were making love or fucking, as he said, he would take care of me. My form of control was deciding when to be his. Control was knowing that I could refuse if I wanted to. I didn't want to anymore, not with him.

With a few more thrusts and the pressing of his thumb on my clit, I came undone.

"Do you trust me?" He asked again when I was coming down from my high. I nodded and he briefly considered what he was going to say next.

"Hands and knees, baby," he murmured quietly against my lips.

He knew what he was asking for. I had told him exactly what Gerald had done to me the last time he abused me, and still he was asking me to engage in that position. I realized this was a test for the both of us. He had handed control over to me, and now it was my turn to trust him and give it to him willingly. With shaking legs, I did as he said while I ignored the nerves that threatened to take over.

"Relax, Eileen." Though I couldn't see him, I sensed his eyes on me. His hand stroked my lower back, coaxing me into feeling comfortable. If I hadn't been so turned on, I was sure that I would have been embarrassed being this exposed to him.

My lips parted, when I felt his fingers touching me.

"So fucking beautiful, so mine," he whispered more to himself than to me while running his fingers down my slit. My back arched, an open invitation for him to do with me as he wished. I bit my lip, waiting eagerly for him to begin, and that instead his fingers were inside me, causing me to writhe and moan without control. He was making me lose all my inhibitions. His other hand continued stroking my back, making sure that the memories stayed at bay.

They did.

"You have no idea what you do to me," he said, pushing inside me without warning.

My arms gave up on me and I buried my face in the sheets, giving in to the earth shattering pleasure he was giving me. My hands fisted the sheets of the bed that was now a mess.

His fingers dug into my hips, but there was no pain. Alex was proving to me that there could be pleasure in roughness as long as it was with care.

"Say you're mine," he growled, while his hand grabbed a handful of my hair. My mouth opened in a silent gasp, astounded at what he was doing. He was erasing my past, pressing delete and didn't even realize it.

"Say it," he demanded once again, this time threatening me with a slower pace.

"I'm yours," I breathed. "I'm yours Alex, I- Oh fuck..." I moaned into the sheets when he pulled all the way out than slammed into me. The most intense orgasm I'd ever had rocked me, each and every part of my body bursting in flames.

He grunted and thrust into me at a quicker pace as I clenched him, soon after releasing inside me. We stayed that way for a long time, with him stroking my back, relaxing me.

"I thought we were using protection," I mumbled sleepily.

"Yeah, I guess we'll start that tomorrow," he said sounding a bit breathless.

His warmth was gone after a few moments until I felt a warm cloth cleaning me. The blissful sensation made my eyes close, until Alex pressed a kiss on my forehead.

"Thank you," I said quietly.

"For what?"

"For this. For being you... I love you, Moretti."

"Me too, my love."

A strong knock on the door interrupted us. I covered my face in embarrassment, already knowing who it was. Alex only groaned in annoyance.

"What do you want Lucas?" he asked, placing an arm over his head.

"The time for the next show!" He yelled from the other side of the door.

Alex smirked at me, his eyes shining with gentle playfulness and love.

"Give us five minutes!"

*****

It's a beautiful thing to sleep peacefully. I was sore, but it was a good sore. The sun was shining bright through the large bedroom window, illuminating the area.

Alex was still sound asleep, one of his hands settled protectively over my belly while the other was under his head. His lips were slightly parted and he looked relaxed. I took some time to admire him. The stubble that covered his face made him look much more handsome.

My fingers traced the outline of his jaw, and his nose. I didn't feel scared anymore. I wanted to be his completely, in every sense of the word.

"Stop staring at me, Eileen."

He gave me a sleepy smile and I pressed a kiss on his lips.

"You're so bossy, Moretti."

"Don't act like you don't like it."

"Do you have any work today?" I asked him.

"No. I actually need to talk to Luke about that, I think I'm stepping away from the business for some time."

"Wh-Why?"

"I don't want any distractions. I've got enough money saved so that we can live comfortably for years. I've worked for a long time, Eileen doing something I don't even like. I want to enjoy my time with you, with Angie, help you go back to school just like you wanted."

"Are you sure?" I didn't want him doing any more for me than he already had.

"Yes. As for today, I cancelled all meetings for the rest of the week since the night you showed up."

"Oh Alex... You didn't have to."

He kissed my forehead, letting his lips linger there for a moment.

"Let's go check on princes Angie," he whispered.

The unspoken promises that he'd made when we first met were all being fulfilled. He'd made me whole again when I thought there was no remedy, I just prayed that this happiness wouldn't slip away.