《The Journey Home》9 - Conflicting Events
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I drummed my fingers on the table, impatient. Not necessarily at the fact that we'd been waiting for our food for over twenty minutes, but at Eileen's silence. The dark bags under her eyes were proof that after that text message she hadn't slept.
"Aleexx! Can you please answer me?" I chuckled at Angie's frustrated voice. She'd been giving me the reasons as to why she thought certain princesses were better than the others.
"Well, why do you think Cinderella is better?" I asked, placing my chin on my hand.
"Because the prince charming found her!" she explained, as if that was the most logical answer.
"Hm, I don't think that's good enough a reason, darling." I said, taking a small sip of coffee. "Eileen, what do you think?"
Eileen snapped out of her daze, looking back and forth between her daughter and I.
"Um, well, I like Belle," she said, leaving me clueless as to what she was talking about. Angie's stared at her mother wide-eyed. Eileen wrapped her arms around her daughter, placing a kiss on her head. "You are your own princess, you don't need to try and be like any of them."
Angie smiled, pleased at Eileen's answer.
The conversation flowed easily throughout breakfast, which focused on the many small stories that Angie had from her school and friends.
It seemed to be a good day for Eileen because she didn't hesitate to agree when Angie suggested we go to the park. I knew I'd regret this, considering the shitload of work I left at home with the excuse of working on it no later than noon. But I found it difficult to care.
"Since you are in a decent mood, can I ask a question?"
"I guess that means my mood will be changing soon, doesn't it?" Eileen countered.
"Yes. You'll probably tell me to fuck off."
I had no business asking about Angela's father. It was obvious he didn't see her often, much less that he was involved at all in the care of the young girl. The lessons that my mother had instilled in me of helping those in need pressed me to do more for them, though I knew Eileen would reject any more of my help.
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"Where is her dad? Is he in the picture at all?" I asked, expecting an angry response. Instead Eileen smiled, her sad eyes meeting my own as she spoke.
"No, he's not. Never has been."
The noise around us of children playing faded away as her silence invaded the space between us. She seemed lost in her thoughts. I let her be, waiting to see if she'd keep talking. She didn't, forcing me to ask more questions that I was sure would end up with me being slapped.
"Well I can't imagine it being easy having a baby so young, perhaps it was difficult for him as well."
Her lips parted, as if she was about to speak, but in an instant they closed. What was going through her mind? Her eyes were fixed on her daughter who played with the other children on the playground. Angela waved at us excitedly before running off.
"Have you ever considered having children, Alex?"
"Nope." I said, without hesitation.
"Hmm. When you have them, every thing you do, even the things that you don't do, are for them, to keep them safe, so no, she doesn't know her father. She never will."
★★★
It was a surprise to both of us running into Marty at the park. The old man was walking the same trail that I remember he used to walk with his late wife Sylvia. Though I had spent time with him since I got back, I didn't really spend much of it out of the cafe like we used to.
Marty was a good friend of my father, and I grew up with him. As much as they wanted children, Sylvia and him weren't able to have children of their own so they looked after my sister and I as much as they could. It was comforting having him still around after my parents died but I tried to avoid him for a long time after that. It was a reminder that my parents weren't around anymore and though I stayed strong for my sister, losing your parents is always a shitty situation.
As if reading my thoughts, Marty broke his gaze from Eileen and Angela who were now playing together on swings.
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"It's good to have you back, son."
"Of course it is, old man." I said, patting him on his back. "You know I just needed time. It was hell after mom and dad died. That accident fucked everything up, you know that."
"How is that sister of yours doing?"
"Teaching. She should be visiting in the next few weeks for vacations."
"Finally. Are you still scaring off those boys going after her?"
"You know it," I replied.
"You doing the same for her?" Marty nodded towards Eileen.
I raised an eyebrow. It was meant to stop him, but knowing Marty, nothing would. He broke into a fit of laughter, cursing.
"Goddammit," he began while taking a drink out of the water bottle he had with him. "You're interested in her."
I shrugged, not denying anything. Eileen was beautiful, different. It would be pointless to say that I wasn't attracted to her. Marty sure as hell knew it, since the first time I asked who she was.
"She'd be good for you, son."
I scoffed, brushing off his statement. "You know I don't do relationships, Marty. We all know how that last one ended and I don't need that shit in my life. I have the compa-"
"Oh, don't bullshit me Alexander. We both know you're just following through because of that need you always had to please your father," Marty interrupted, his voice louder than he intended. "He's dead, son. It's been four, almost five years. Besides, if he could see what you've done with it he'd be proud. Your mission has been accomplished. What he'd be worried about is seeing you so alone, fooling around with God knows how many women. And don't say anything about that engagement of yours, even your parents knew that was as fake as that woman's breasts."
"You have the weirdest comparisons," I mumbled.
"You don't do relationships?" he questioned, standing up. I shook my head and he gestured towards Eileen who was walking back towards us. "I think for her you could. In fact, I think you want to."
★★★
"Jesus Christ, you carry her all the way up here when she falls asleep?" I asked, carrying Angela's sleeping body in my arms. She'd fallen asleep on our way back and though I didn't mind, I couldn't imagine Eileen's petite form carrying her without struggling.
I laid Angela down on her bed and covered her while Eileen turned on a lamp that her daughter liked to keep on. Eileen kept rubbing her neck as we walked out, the sight of her doing that frustrating me more that it should have. She was tense, stressed and it bothered me that she hadn't told me that she was too tired to be running around behind Angie.
Without thinking, I walked behind her as she drank a glass of water and removed her hand. As soon as I made contact with her skin, she flinched, turning around. Glass shattered on the floor and Eileen jumped, her bare feet making contact with it. She didn't seem to notice though.
"Fuck, Eileen, are you okay?" I asked, when I saw a trickle of blood oozing from her foot.
She stood with a panicked look on her face, and I realized it wasn't due to the glass or the blood. I had frightened her. Her hands were trembling and all the color had drained from her face. I walked towards her, extending my hand to touch her but she stopped me by taking a step back.
"Eileen, let me help you, you're bleeding."
She snapped out of the world her mind had taken her to, looking down to her feet and then looking back up at me.
"Leave Alex," she finally asked, the anger in her voice leaving me dumbfounded.
Thinking I could help her I walked towards her once again only to be met with furious brown eyes. There seemed to be a flash of regret in them as well, but she paid no attention to that part, only repeating what she had said before.
"I said leave, Moretti."
Her rejection stung more than I could imagine, but I did as she asked and walked away.
★★★
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