All I've ever done is hide

From our times

When you're near me

Honey, when you kill the lights

And kiss my eyes

I feel like a person for a moment of my life

But you don't know what hell you put me through

To have someone kiss the skin that crawls from you

To feel your weight in the arms I'd never use

Its the good that heroin prays to

-Hozier

M A R N I E

The next morning was heavier than ever. I felt numb. The kind of numbness that leaves back a buzzing sensation, I was upset. Art's words echoed in my head so loud that I ignored all the sounds my record player was making as I put on a basic outfit.

Marnie, I wish I could explain everything. But I just... can't, I can only explain last night.

Fuck the excuses.

She left me in the dark in Sicily and she's leaving me in the dark now.

I headed downstairs to go have breakfast with my family, my feet pattering on the wooden floors and my hand lazily trailing the walls.

"Good morning," I mutter as I plop on a chair.

"Morning my ba- what the hell?" She was exasperated after seeing my hair.

I hear the sound of a glass being kept on the table harshly.

"Uh hello?" I wave and she simply strides over to me. I gaze around the table and Val is looking at me with wide eyes. Dad hasn't even looked at me yet he's so engrossed in his newspaper. And for once, I'm glad.

"What the fuck?" Val lets out before dad snaps his head at her and glares at her.

"Watch your language." He snaps at her before meeting my eyes.

"What the fuck?" He lets out and I can't help but laugh as Val slaps his arm lightly.

"Watch your language." She says smirking but dad gets on his feet paying her no heed.

"Met darling, what have you done?" Mom sounds dramatic and heartbroken.

"I wanted some change." I shrug.

"Change is adapting to new types of clothes, change is new make-up, change is new hobbies, not chopping up your hair you idiot." Ma was irked and I laugh loudly before shutting up at her annoyed expression.

"It looks good," Dad says almost silently. But then ma glares at him and he throws his hand up.

"What? It's hair, it'll grow back." He shrugs and I smile.

"That's the morning spirit I need. Come on, I'm hungry ma." I grin before sitting next to Val.

"You're one crazy bitch." She whispers and I smile. Ma loved my hair. It was her pride and joy, but I think I prefer shorter hair better.

"But, I don't understand, when?" Ma asked and I smile.

"Last night." I shrug as she hands me my plate.

I look at dad who's just sipping down the last of his coffee. He gets up straightens his shirt and slips on his suit jacket. Before walking past me and ruffling my hair.

"Bye Mer." He says his voice gruff, he does the same to Val and then kisses ma on the cheek before heading out.

"So have you picked out a dress for the St. John event? I booked you with a couple of brands." Ma asked and from her voice and I know she was trying to contain herself. I shake my head tearing a piece of the paratha before dipping it in chutney.

"Nope, I was going to do that today," I answer and she nods asking a couple of questions to Val.

I had texted Will before I was completely knocked out, asking her if she wanted to come with me to pick out a dress. I was sporting a plain pink baggy shirt and light-wash jeans with matching sneakers.

"Okay, I'm gonna leave now," I call out but as I exit the dining room I hear ma whispering to Val and I know they're having a grand discussion about my sanity.

Will honks and I sigh before running out and into her car.

"Have patience damn," I mutter.

"M-" she starts but I stop her before she can even complete her sentence.

"I know." I raise my hand smiling a little.

"No you don't, do you know your hair is to your shoulders?" She lets out and I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, no shit Will," I mutter as she pulls out of my driveway.

"It looks great though." She mutters focusing on the road.

"Thank you," I say softly.

"What happened?" She asks and I look at her raising an eyebrow.

"You cut your hair, what happened?" She repeats and I sigh and then explain.

"No fucking way." She finally lets out and I sigh.

"Yes, fucking way," I said looking out the window.

"But are you assuming because of what I said? Or- like- was it obvious?" She stutters out and I nod.

"Very very obvious, besides I gave her 2 chances to explain. At Cameo and on the phone. And she said nothing so," I shrug gulping down the lump threatening to rise.

"You know you can always shit talk right?" She said in an obvious tone and I nod as we pull into the parking space outside Guopei.

"Yeah but like, who will I shit talk about? Arthur? She made me realise I'm into women and besides all first gay situationships turn out to be a life lesson apparently. Zara? I barely know her. There's no one left to shit talk about." I shrug and she nods hooking her arm through mine as we enter the cold air-conditioned space.

"Ciao signora sono Rita, come posso aiutarla?" A tall woman walked up to us, I shook her thrusted hand.

Hello ma'am I'm Rita how may I help you.

"Buongiorno, sono Marnie. mia madre Sam mi ha prenotato." I started and she raised her eyebrows nodding.

I'm Marine, my mother, Sam booked me.

"Proprio in questo modo Ms Bennet." She said gesturing us to an isolated space.

Right, this way Ms Bennet.

Another woman walked up to us shaking my hand, I recognised her from when I had last visited with my mom.

"Ah, Marnie so great to see you again. Sam told me about the event." She mutters as Will grips my hand and we sit down to chat with her.

"Oh yes, it's going to be grand." I nod my lips thin because of how awkward this is for me.

"Is there a theme?" She looks excited to fit me.

"Ah yes, dramatic fantasy theatre. Or something along those lines." I say and she raises an eyebrow in surprise.

"Is it the St John ball?" She asks and when I nod she claps her hand before standing up.

"So what are you going for?" She asks and I think for a second.

"She should look like she came out of a fairytale." Will answers for me and the woman nods.

"I've got great pieces, give me a second I'll be right back." She says and I nod smiling forcefully. As she walks away we both sigh letting out a nervous breath.

"Oh God, this is insopportabile." Will lets out and I laugh but before I could even reply the woman is back with a rack full of dresses.

Insufferable

We tried on about 7 dresses, each one more obnoxious than the last. Will and Rita were both browsing through racks and racks and I was getting upset that we couldn't find it. And at this point, I was just tired until Will came back with a silved dress.

"I found this, try this one on." She hands it over to Rita who unzips the dress.

"Oh no no, the colour is too alarming, I would look like a highlighter. A repulsive one at that." I shake my head but Will simply nudges me to get out of the dress I had on and get in it.

As I looked at myself in the mirror while Rita zipped the last of it, I was mesmerised. No way.

It looked gorgeous, glowing against my tan skin and giving almost a personified moon look.

"It's beautiful," I mutter running my fingers on the silk.

"It is about 400 over the budget your mom had set." Rita smacks her lips and I look in the mirror.

"Will pass my phone, would you," I mutter and she does so. I ring up dad and he picks up within the first ring.

I explain the situation and he sighs. "How much?" He asks and I grin looking at myself and the dress in the mirror.

"Four hundred," I say smiling and he sighs again.

"I'll send Guiseppe with a cheque. Don't tell Sam." He says and I laugh.

"Thank you thank you thank you." I almost jump and grin with a thumbs up at Rita.

"We've got it, lads!" Rita sighs finally over the entire fitting. It had taken us over 4 hours to get the right one and I'm glad I waited.

"So what I want to change is the waist, can it be pulled in?" I ask and Rita nods as I step out of the dress and into my normal clothes.

It's ridiculous how many times I was half-naked in front of Will and Rita.

As Rita walks away to prepare the bill and get the dress altered I look at Will. Her red hair was a flame in the white room.

"Do you know where to look, for body jewellery?" I ask and she nods.

Let's go.

HIIIII we're so close to hitting 15k which also reminds me it's been a long time since we've done a questionnaire so here we go.

Do you want to change your name? If yes what would you change it to?

If I write a book about 2 friends just going through tough times together, falling in love with wrong people and all that jazz would you read it?

So far which is your favourite character and why?