Is this love?

Why don't you love me, daddy?

Why don't you, why don't you?

"Are you sleepy?" Art asked and I shook my head pushing my body away from the wall I was leaning on and placing my feet on the ground.

"Tired but not sleepy," I said grabbing both our cups and putting them on the kitchen counter before grabbing a hoodie and slipping it on.

By the time I entered the bedroom again she was sitting on the bed finding something in her bag.

"What are you doing?" I asked and she smiles but didn't answer before pulling a bag of dried leaves.

Uh oh, I think I know what that is.

"You wanna smoke a blunt with me?" She asked looking up at me and I look down at the blunt that she was now rolling and I nod slowly.

"Yeah, why not?" I shrug biting my lip in nervousness as I sit down by her.

"Have you ever smoked a blunt? Or a cigar for that matter?" She added and I shook my head.

"Nope." I pop the 'p' and she looks at me for a second, at my tense body before nodding slowly, before pausing her movements.

"Are you sure you want to?" She asked again and this time I let my body loose to show her that I didn't feel pressured and that I actually wanted to try it.

"Yeah, I do." I smile and she nods looking at me for a second longer than she usually does.

"Okay then." Arthur sighs finishing up and rolling it in- I don't even know what she's doing honestly. All I can do is watch her pretty fingers work.

Arthur lights the joint up and I simply watch her ring clad slender fingers pull it to her lips. Her eyes close in relaxation as her lips wrap around it and she inhales. I stare at her lips never realising that her eyes were now open. Watching me. Watch her.

"Adorable." She mutters, my eyes snap to hers and I'm sure there's a deep blush on my face.

"You're down?" She asks and I nod slowly. With a sceptical look she takes another drag and this time rather than letting it drown in her lungs she brings her hand to the back of my head and pulls me in.

Attaching her lips to mine in an instant and I gasp as she takes the moment to let the smoke fill my lungs.

But before I knew it I was coughing the smoke back out, my throat dry like the Sahara and in need of water.

Art passes me water and I gulped like a drowning man with his breaths.

"Jesus Christ, I don't think this is a good idea." She mutters reaching forth and rubbing my back whilst my breath was knocked straight out of my lungs.

"No no, it's a great idea," I say between each gulping breath gulped.

"You want to go again?" She asks as if I was a madman and I look at her with teary eyes and a smile as I nod eagerly.

"Do you want to try it yourself or do you want me to help you?" She asks and I look at the cancer stick in her hand as I shake my head.

"Help me with it?" I ask softly still looking at the blunt in her hand.

"Of course, darling." She replies in the same manner and her worried eyes soften as she lifts the fat ass blunt to her lips.

"Just take your time." She says before wrapping her pretty lips around it and inhaling.

I grab her face gently and lean forward my hands almost shaking because I don't think I have ever initiated kissing her. Or whatever this is.

I place my lips on her, they stay still for a moment before hers part and let the smoke into my lungs. I inhale very slowly and exhale pretty quickly. The debris from the smoke clogging up my windpipe but with a few more coughs I've got it.

"That's my girl." She whispers smiling and I stare up at her as she takes another hit.

The smoke enters her mouth and it escapes through her mouth going back in through her nose and it is a sight to not just see but to paint. Like a piece of art.

Elegant.

I didn't think I would find anything about smoking weed elegant but here we are. I also didn't think I would be kissing girls but here we are.

Here we motherfucking are.

And I'm never leaving.

A few more hits from her lips and I can feel my pulse hammering in my veins. Everything is cloudy and my mind is haywire. My sense are on an all-time high as I hear the soft crackling of the blunt burning and the sounds of a person riding a bicycle on the road. The sound of the keys jangling as someone next to us opens up their room.

Within moments its chemicals had invaded everything we were, from a sickly imaginative yellow film over our skin to the air in our lungs. The cigarette smoke had this entitlement, to be close to you than some subway scoundrel breathing in your face, touching as if random yet calculated.

"Come on angel." She whispers as I tilt my head backwards, leaning back on my arms. My hair fell in waves brushing past my lower back, my skin cold to the touch all thanks to me taking off the hoodie.

My eyes are closed as my lips part and I breathe out slowly. The smoke has filled every corner of this room making everything cloudy. For once I'm glad because I can't see very well, hoping that she can't too as the cold air nips at every part of my body.

One of my hands comes up to my waist, my fingers brushing against the silver of my skin slowing and pushing my tank farther up, it was so hot but my skin was so so cold. I'm unaware but still, kind of aware of Art's eyes on me as I slowly lay down on the bed, the tank top riding even higher. I sigh as the cold sheets welcome my even colder body.

"Holy shit." I hear her whisper and a lazy grin spreads on my lips.

"Something wrong, darling?" I whisper as she pushes her body close to mine and I grin in acknowledgement.

"Nuh-uh." She whispers as she lays down by my side staring at the side of my face.

"You feel that?" She asks whispering and maybe it's the weed talking but I notice the layers in her voice.

Her raspy voice help a deep timbre, the kind that had me anchored to a moment in time. At this particular moment.

"Feel what?" I whisper, I can't help but stare at her as her fingertips trace my stomach and my ribs. I breathe heavily as she pulls her lips between her teeth and places her hand flat between my boobs.

"The knot unravelling?" She asks and in some weird fucked way I understand what she means.

"The relief. The solace. Feeling like everything wrecked is rejoining. Like someone just caressed you so tightly that all the broken pieces are falling back into place." She explains but I already know what she implied as I nod.

"Yes," I whisper and she smiles.

"That's how I feel with you." She says with such innocence never realising how much her words affect me. How much they knock the wind out of me. She would never know.

"Really?" I whisper with the biggest grin on my face and she nods getting on top of me and taking a huge drag of the blunt.

My hands grab at her hips lightly as she leans down and blows the smoke in my direction. Our lips are not touching but they're so close that the smoke escapes her lips and is inhaled by me.

"Fucking hell," I whisper as I exhale, my eyes probably red-rimmed by now.

I never understood why people smoked weed but now I know. It makes me smile a lot more. Or maybe that's just her.

Art smiles handing me the blunt, I hold it between my fingers somehow scared that it might escape the trap and land on us setting both of us on fire.

Shut the fuck up, Marnie.

Art's hands are on either side of my head, her hair flowing between us. And I just about lose my shit.

"You are so fucking beautiful." She whispers and I close my eyes slowly.

"Not more than you," I whisper grabbing her palm and kissing it.

"And I hate that I want to mark you up." She whispers and I stare at her for a couple of seconds not knowing what to say. She laughs before booking my nose.

"Adorable." She whispers and I grin up at her. If I were not high I would've known what to say.

"Ronan asked if you wanted to go help him pick out a suit for tomorrow." She whispered after pecking my lips, her hand on either side of my face.

"Why me?" I ask tilting my head in confusion and she smiles again.

"I can't go and he thinks you have great style. So..." She trailed off and I nod hastily. I didn't know he thought I had great style but it makes me happy.

"I would love that." I grin and she smiles leaning down and placing her lips on mine.