So as it was my birthday on Saturday I thought I would gift a few chapters to you guys :) I hope you're enjoying xx

I've been here for two weeks now and I feel more settled. Rowan and I have been seeing each other every night, only for maybe 20 minutes outside, but still I spend all day looking forward to it. My new home is finished and I'm moving in tomorrow, Knuckles has made me go shopping for furniture because apparently he's never heard of a thing called the internet. I sit in the car looking at the busy furniture store in front of me

"You'll be fine, we just go in, pick what you want and leave" Knuckles says

"Ok, here's the deal, there's too many people I'm going to have a panic attack, so I will point at what I want, go fast and when I need to run I will and it's tough shit." I say finishing my fifth cigarette in a row.

"At least you're going to try, that's all I ask." He says as he gets out of the truck. I slowly get out and check the sidewalk is clear before I make my way across to the store. We go in and I take a deep breath. Oh boy it's busy, there's like 50 people in here and that doesn't include the staff. I start rushing pointing at couches, a table, chairs, I pick everything out in less than 5 minutes

"Ok you're doing good Annie, just need you to pick a bed. They're upstairs, can you do it?" He asks putting his hands on my shoulders, I nod even though I know I'm starting to falter and we climb up the stairs. With all the beds laid out there isn't a lot of walking room, Knuckles guides me over to a bed and I realise my exit is blocked by people. I can't leave, I can't get out. My breathing starts to speed up, I feel myself sweating and my vision starts to blur.

"It's ok Indigo, you're ok." Knuckles said but it sounds muffled. I pull out my phone and dial who I know can calm me down

"Hey beautiful, how's the shopping going?" I hear his voice on the other end and I immediately start to feel better but I still can't talk for hyperventilating

"It's ok Indigo, slow that breathing down, close your eyes and think back to last night, just you and me outside the clubhouse, no one else, just you and me. Slow breaths sweetheart, you can do it, keep those eyes closed." He says calmly, repeating it until my breathing calms

"Thank you" I whisper

"Put Knuckles on the phone" he says and I hold the phone out to Knuckles, he takes it from me but I keep my eyes closed

"You're fucking kidding me. Fine but we will talk when I get back." Knuckles ends the call and gives me my phone back. I open my eyes and there are still people everywhere, I'm going to start panicking again soon. I watch Knuckles go over to one of the salesmen, they talk for a minute before the salesman starts ushering people downstairs, he then blocks off the stairs with rope and they walk over to me

"Hello, Indigo, my name is Mark, I hear you have a whole house to furnish, I've closed the floor so that you can shop without being disturbed." The salesman says holding out his hand, I'm not shaking that. I nod and get up from the bed

"You carry on trying out beds, I'll give him the list of everything else you picked out." Knuckles says as they move over to a desk. I lie down on a different bed and close my eyes. I've never picked my own bed before, just slept on what I was given, I don't even know what's comfortable.

I blush reading his text and move over to another bed. I lie back and wonder what it would be like if he was lying down next to me. I've only shared a bed with one other person. I move to the fourth bed, it's got a black leather headboard and as I lie back and picture Rowan lying next to me I feel comfortable. I sit up and look over to Knuckles

"This one" I shout and he gives me a thumbs up. I go over and Knuckles hands me the list

"Is that everything?" He asks as I read through it, no wonder the salesman was happy to clear the floor for me, this shit is expensive, good job my dad was loaded.

"Yep, that's everything." I hand over my credit card and as soon as it's done Knuckles escorts me back to the car. I light a cigarette and take a deep breath

"What is going on with you and Bullet?" Knuckles asks as we pull out of the parking lot

"I don't know, he just seems to be good at calming me down. Neither of us sleep well at night so he's been there when I can't sleep to keep me company." I say looking out the window

"Have you fucked him?" I turn and look at Knuckles with my jaw on the floor

"How the fuck can you ask me that. I've only had sex with one person and that wasn't..." I stop before I say something I shouldn't.

"No I haven't fucked him and I don't know if I ever will. Just because I'm your cousin doesn't mean you can tell me who I can and can't see. Bullet calms me down and I think that's a good reason to keep spending time with him." I say my voice laced with anger

"Ok, ok, I just want to protect you, club life is dangerous and I don't want you to get hurt and become worse." He replies. We sit in silence until we arrive back at the clubhouse, I get out of the car and see Rowan standing in the doorway of the garage, I rush over to him and wrap my arms around him

"Thank you." I say against his chest

"Stop thanking me, I'm happy to help you any way I can." He says wrapping his arms around me. I hear Knuckles clear his throat behind me but I ignore him, while I'm in Rowans arms I'm calmer than I've ever been.