He kissed me, that stupid asshole fucking kissed me. I'm even more of an asshole for kissing him back, I liked it, I shouldn't like it. I don't want anyone to touch me, especially a man, they can't be trusted. My lips were still tingling when he left, I've not felt that after being kissed before, but I've only been kissed by one person.

I finished up on my leg and changed into my pjs, I know it's only afternoon but I don't care. When I lived at home I would only get dressed for my dad coming home from work and only because he insisted on what I wore. I can chose now, I can wear what I want when I want. Choices are scary though, what if I make the wrong choice? I'm pulled from my thoughts by a knock on the door

"Indigo, its Cordelia, can I come in?" I go over and open the door, she walks in and sits down in the armchair by the window, I sit on the edge of the bed by her

"Those stitches look good, you should come and work at my clinic." She says laughing

"I've had some practice." I say looking at the floor

"Oh trust me, I know what you mean, see" I look up to her and she's lifted her shorts and I see scars on her thighs that match mine perfectly, I look up into her eyes and she smiles

"I was in a very dark place when I was younger, we all have our demons to fight. I understand why you do it, I would rather you didn't, but if it's the safest way for you to cope you can come and see me to check on any wounds no questions asked." She says leaning back in the chair

"So you're not going to lecture me, Sedate me or threaten to lock me up?" I ask

"No, while I haven't gone through what you have I've gone through bad things and I know what it's like trying to cope. Once your house is built and we get you settled into a new routine hopefully you can relax a little." She replies

"I also want to talk to you about Bullet. I know he cares for you the way Killer cared for me when he met me. I'm not telling you to go out with him, I'm asking you to give him a chance, I think he would be good for you, just be patient with him, he has baggage of his own."

"I'll try, but no promises." I grab my cigarettes and light one, talking about Bullet is making me uncomfortable.

"Well, I'll leave you to your nap, I'm making dinner tonight, so as long as I don't burn it you're welcome to join. If you can't, you have my number, I can always bring some up to you." Cordelia says as she stands up and heads for the door

"Thank you Cordelia" I say, but it comes out as a whisper

"Call me Cece and anytime Indigo." She turns and smiles at me before leaving. I get up and lock the door behind her, get into bed and try to sleep.

I woke up and checked the time, 7pm, I got up and grabbed my hoodie, I'm going to try going downstairs to eat. I'll try anyway, if I can't I can just turn around and come back. I unlock the door and check if anyone is there, clear so far. I make it down the stairs and into the bar, I walk through to the kitchen door and take a deep breath and walk in. I thought everyone was eating but there's only Cordelia and another woman I haven't met

"Indigo, you came, have a seat I'll fix you a plate." Cordelia says and guides me to a chair

"Where is everyone?" I ask, although I'm relieved I'm not surrounded by big strange men.

"They're in church, like a club meeting, they only just went in though so it'll probably be a while knowing them. This is Izzy, she is married to Sonny, another member of the club." She says as she puts a plate of pasta down in front of me

"Nice to meet you Indigo, I hear you're melting Bullets heart." Izzy says as she and Cordelia sit down to eat with me, I can handle this, there's only two people.

"He told me to call him Rowan. I told him Bullet was stupid." I say spreading the food around my plate

"Awww, when I met Killer, I told him I couldn't call him that so I call him Adrian when we're alone." Cordelia says with a big smile on her face.

"You'll fit in well here Indigo, we're like one huge family, I wish Sarah wasn't working late, you could've met her too. She's dating BFG, he's the smallest of the guy guys." Izzy says laughing.

We carry on talking and eating, I ate less than half of what Cordelia gave me but that's still more than I normally eat anyway. I helped them clean up a little but then I heard it, like a pending tsunami 20 guys piled into the kitchen, calling like the seagulls in Finding Nemo and Cordelia and Izzy went straight to serving their men. I pressed my back against the wall and slid along until I made it to the door, as soon as I made it I ran outside to breathe.