This was a secret:

Back when I was in seventh grade, I had a secret admirer.

I knew it was unbelievable. Who in his right mind would like an awkward nerd like me? I didn't even like myself sometimes.

But miraculously, someone did.

That someone would always slip funny and adorable notes inside my locker every day.

Pick up lines like, "You make me wanna major in photography because I can definitely picture us together!" and "Out of curiosity, were you born on a plane? Cause baby, you're so FLY!" though painfully corny, never failed to make me laugh.

Being anti-social that I was even back then, I did not expect that someone would notice me and even admire my weirdness. Weeks passed and I was becoming more and more curious about the identity of my secret admirer. I was dying to know him (or probably her, who knew?).

One day, I put a sticky note on my locker door that says, "Who are you?", that was my first ever attempt at flirting. I knew it was pathetic, but hey, we were all pathetic at seventh grade, right?

You could imagine my excitement when at the end of the day; I saw a writing below the note that says: "School pool. 5pm. See you there."

I was so excited that I even tried to put make on, if you could believe that! I was sure I looked like a clown with a serious case of social anxiety back then but I couldn't care less. I was almost skipping while on my way to the school pool. I was thinking, I'll finally meet him!

I didn't even care about his looks. I was sure I wouldn't have cared even if he looked like Freddie Krueger's identical twin. I was just thankful and flattered that someone was observant enough to notice me and take note of my existence. I was getting used to being ignored and being treated like air. I needed to thank him for seeing me.

There were a few people around the pool when I arrived. I remembered glancing around; trying to guess who among those people was my secret admirer. I didn't have a single clue.

Suddenly, a chubby fourth grader approached me and gave me a folded red paper.

"Some guy told me to give that to you." He said, and then he ran away after giving me a teasing look.

I unfolded the paper and tried to decipher the unfamiliar messy handwriting.

"Dear Skylar,

Roses are red, violets are blue, this doesn't rhyme, I like you.

Sincerely...."

I was too close to reading the name when I heard someone called me.

"Hey!" I looked around and saw Hunter Cole, standing just a few feet away, looking at my direction like he'd just seen a ghost. Rush was standing beside him and he seemed to be laughing his ass off.

I got so scared to see those notorious trouble makers looking at me that I accidentally dropped the letter.

I bent to pick it up.

A flash of green, Hunter's shout, a throbbing pain in my forehead later, and the next thing I knew, I was almost drowning in the school swimming pool.

The rest was history.

My secret admirer probably got scared when he found out I unknowingly got on the bad side of Hunter, or he probably saw me pathetically gasped for air while drowning in the swimming pool and decided the wet look didn't look good on me, or he might have realized I wasn't worth the time after all... either way, he decided to bail out on me.

I never received his notes again after that incident.

Suddenly remembering that, I realized the reason why I detested Hunter so much. He ruined my first ever potential love story!

The memory still brought a pang of humiliation and pain whenever I think about it.

I didn't know much about falling, but I was sure of one thing...

Falling always hurts.

***

I'd like to say that I didn't get affected after hearing those words from Hunter. I'd like to say that I just shrugged it off and continued to eat the Carbonara from hell like nothing happened. I'd like to say that I was able to keep my cool.

But that was not the case.

I suddenly felt like a million carnivorous butterflies decided to hang out inside my stomach and wage war against each other. Ugh. I've always hated butterflies.

I stood up from the table and immediately left, muttering something about an assignment that I hadn't finished yet. The truth was, I just needed to get away from Hunter and his mind games.

Hunter just gave me a strange look but didn't stop me from leaving.

I was annoyed at myself for feeling too affected. I didn't even like that guy! Sure, I was slowly discovering that he wasn't the devil I always thought him to be and that he didn't actually murder cats for fun, but he was still nothing but trouble.

What annoyed me the most was that I knew Hunter was just messing with my head. He was a player. He knew how to make girls go gaga over him. He knew how to play the game.

I didn't.

I'd never had a boyfriend. I'd never even dated a guy before. I had zero experience when it comes to flirting. The only friend I knew was more concerend about slaying some mythical dragons and catching rare pokemons than having a real relationship with girls. It suddenly dawned on me how inexperienced I was in this whole growing up thing.

I sighed. The consequences of being invisible was slowly catching up on me.

Since I had one hour free time, I decided to just go to the music room and hang out there for a while. I knew no one was using that room at this time so I would have the whole room to myself. Who knew? Maybe playing violin would miraculously teach me how to handle guys.

As expected, the music room was completely deserted when I arrived. I opened the storage room where I kept my violin and brought it out of its case. I went to sit on one of the chairs to tune the violin.

When I was done, I closed my eyes and started playing Paganini's Caprice No. 1. It was a complicated piece and I probably sucked at it, but who cares? It wasn't like someone's listening. It always felt good to play by the heart, never worrying about what other people might say.

I always thought music was the food for the soul. Whenever I feel lonely, confused, or alone, I just played some music and I suddenly feel better. Music had a unique way of making you forget.

The moment I hit the last note, I was already feeling much better.

I breathed deeply and opened my eyes, only to be shocked to see Sophie sitting in front of me. Her platinum blonde hair was messy and she looked like she hadn't slept for weeks. And in addition to that, she was wearing a freaking white dress that made her look like the blonde version of Sadako.

"Jesus!" I exclaimed, almost dropping my violin to the floor.

"Wrong. It's just me, Sophie." she said without humor.

"You scared me! I nearly had a heart attack!" I accused, clutching my chest.

Sophie rolled her blue eyes, which I noticed was red and puffy.

"Don't exaggerate. You were the one who disturb my alone moment here." She said, trying to sound haughty but failing miserably. Something was obviously wrong with her.

"I've been sitting there at the back before you came in and went all Paganini on me." She continued lifelessly.

"Sorry. I did not see you." I murmured. I grabbed my case and put the violin back inside, eager to get the hell out of there because who knew? Maybe Rachel and Jessica were hiding inside one of the cabinets and just waiting for the right moment to ambush me.

I was about to step out of the room but something told me it wasn't right to just leave someone alone when that someone was obviously not okay.

Breathing deeply, I walked towards Sophie again. I sat on the chair opposite her and wished to the heavens above that she wasn't feeling bitchy today.

"Are you okay?" I asked awkwardly.

Sophie shrugged, but a single tear fell out of her eye.

I didn't know what to do so I grabbed my bag, took out a pack of Kleenex and gave it to her.

She accepted it wordlessly. I sat there quietly, afraid to break the silence but also afraid to just leave her there.

"Your name's Skylar, right?" Sophie said after a long, painful silence.

I nodded.

"I guess I need to apologize in behalf of my so-called friends. What they said... that was below the belt. I'm sorry." She said.

I was surprised to hear her say those words. My shock was probably showing on my face because she gave me a sad smile.

"You know what, I've always hated you." She said nonchalantly. "I always notice you rolling your eyes whenever Rachel and I talk about something dumb in the locker area. I know you think we are nothing but dumb blondes who care more about our hair than our grades. And I've always hated you for that."

"Oh." I said, scratching my head. Wow, this was awkward.

"I'm sorry, I admit those thoughts crossed my mind more than once." I confessed.

I guessed this wasn't the right time to tell her that I have a huge crush on her boyfriend, she already hated me simply for being me.

"It's okay. It's true. I'm dumb. I'm dumb because even though I don't even like Rachel and Jessica, I still continue this toxic friendship I have with them. I'm so stupid because I don't have the courage to stand up against them whenever they try to bully other people. It makes me mad because I don't want to be like this anymore but I just can't leave because I know they can ruin me. They will ruin me." She blurted out. She was crying nonstop now and I did not have any idea how to stop her.

So I didn't.

I only had one girl friend and she was on the other side of the globe and we hadn't talk to each other for three years now so you could say that I wasn't exactly an expert when it came to girly friendships.

"How can I help?" I said, feeling helpless. It broke my heart to see her look that miserable. I knew we were not friends but we were also not enemies.

I realized I was no better than Rachel and Jessica. I had been such a judgmental bitch over the past few years. I'd never looked past people's reputation. I judged people without knowing the real them. Hunter, Parker, Sophie... wasn't thinking badly of them my own way of bullying them?

I had been as mean as the bullies I always detested and it made me feel ashamed of myself.

"Kenji, I really love him." Sophie said in between tears, I pushed aside my jealousy and listened to her.

"He's the only guy who's able to see the real me and still love me for it. He makes me want to be a better person. But they won't let me. They have my video, I was drunk, I didn't know they were taking a video, Rachel will ruin me using it. Kenji might break up with me if that video went public. My parents will kill me. I don't know what to do anymore."

Whoah, that escalated quickly!

Sophie's cry turned to sobs, and I just sat there, shocked at what I was hearing.

I felt so furious at Rachel, how could she do that to her friend? How could she be so mean?

"That's blackmail! You should tell someone, maybe a teacher or Principal Curtis? That video should be deleted immediately!"

"No! I can't! I don't have any proof, and Rachel can just easily deny it if someone confronted her about it."

I stood up, feeling restless. I still thought telling the principal was the best idea but Sophie also had a point. The principal couldn't do anything without valid proof and Rachel wasn't really a neophyte when it came to lying so she could surely act her way out of the interrogation, wait another couple of months to let the issue cool down, and then release the video when we least expect it.

"I don't know why I'm even sharing this to you, it's not like you care." Sophie said, sniffing. "I guess I'll just stick around Rachel until I had the chance to access her computer. I know her, she saves all her files in her laptop. I know she still hasn't uploaded it yet to any video sharing sites." She sounded like she was consoling herself.

I felt helpless as well. In this day and age, any person with an internet could share anything they wanted to share anonymously. Scandals spread far and wide in just a matter of seconds and it would be hard to stop it once it started. Even famous celebrities fell victim to these kinds of cyber crimes.

Thinking about the internet, a brilliant thought suddenly popped up inside my head.

I faced Sophie.

"I can't help you, but I know someone who can." I said excitedly.

Sophie's expression brightened up a bit.

"Really?" she said, sounding hopeful.

"Yes! Let's meet again tomorrow, same place, same time."

I rushed towards the door, eager to see my hacker buddy and ask for his help.

I was about to leave when I heard Sophie called me.

"Skylar!"

I looked around and saw Sophie giving me a genuine smile for the first time.

"Thank you, for playing friends with me today." She said.

I shrugged.

"Who knows? Maybe tomorrow, we can finally be real friends."

Then I closed the door and ran towards where Hunter was.

***

Unfortunately, I didn't see Hunter again the rest of the day. I searched everywhere but ended up dejected. I spent my afternoon classes feeling anxious to see him. Of course, it was mainly because I needed his help and not because I missed him.

Alright, fine! Maybe I missed him a bit, but that was not the point. The point was, why was he not attending his classes?

By the time the bell rung signaling the end of my last class, I was already feeling out of it. All I wanted was to go home, and rest.

I looked at my cellphone and saw a text message from Shawn, saying he had an emergency meeting with the whole Magic: The Gathering club, and that he would have to stay at school until eight. Something about a championship duel and other Shawn stuff.

I had to take the bus then.

I was already preparing myself for the commute home when I finally saw Hunter.

He was waiting in front of the school gate, leaning on the hood of his car, and smiling widely at my direction.

"Took you long enough, eh?" he said. He made a big show of taking off his sunglasses and inserting them inside the pocket of his jeans, then he stretched his arms and pretended to yawn just so every girl nearby could have a glimpse of his hot bod.

Jeez, couldn't he be more dramatic?

"Some of us have to attend classes you know?" I said trying to look firm but couldn't help myself from smiling. I must admit, Hunter was the kind of guy who grew on you the longer you spend time with him.

"Wow, you look happy to see me. Are you sick?" he half-joked.

I felt guilty. Was I really such a bitch to him earlier?

"I guess I am." I said.

Hunter walked towards me, "I'll take this." He grabbed my backpack and swung it over his shoulder.

He then ran a hand over my forehead.

"Hmmm, you're a little hot." He frowned. "I know the best medicine for that." He said, giving me a serious look.

"What?"

"Kisspirin from me." He said then he pouted his lips at me.

My face instantly turned tomato red. This guy was really something. I gave him a deadly stare.

"Kickpirin, you want?" I threatened.

"Whoah, fierce!"

Hunter laughed and ushered me towards the passenger seat of his car.

"Are you ready?" He said as soon as he was seated on the driver's seat.

"For what?" I asked.

"For me to meet your parents?"

I almost facepalmed myself.

I totally forgot that he was really supposed to take me home tonight to ask for my parents' permission for the camping trip.

Now there was no way I could prevent that meeting from ever happening.

Great, just great!

"Don't worry, they'll love me. I am actually quite adorable in real life, you know?" Hunter said confidently.

"In real life? Why, is everyday a fake life to you?"

He turned to face me and put both his hands on each of my shoulders.

"Sky, if you have a face like this," he pointed at his face, "You need to be a jerk every now and then so people won't easily fall in love with you. It's a hard life, always trying to hide your awesomeness, but I'm used to it by now. Life is unfair."

He then gave a dramatic sigh before turning his attention back in front.

I was speechless for a full minute.

"Hunter?" I said after awhile.

"What?"

"You seriously need to go see a therapist. Having hallucinations is a bad sign. That's definitely schizo, I guarantee it."

Hunter burst out laughing.

"You're mean." He said.

"You're crazy." I fired back.

"Only for you, babe." He winked.

I didn't have an answer for that.

Damn. I was in big trouble.