《PRANKS and KISSES | 1 ✔️》Hunter: My schemes
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English Literature was like a Nazi torture method designed by Hitler himself.
Better not attend it or else I'd be tempted to set Mr. Jenkin's table on fire. Again. For the third time.
I was lounging on the rooftop with Cal, hacking the school's attendance system using my laptop to change both of our attendance from absent to present. Piece of cake. I could've done it in the library but where was the fun in that? It was better here, where I could disturb Cal's little piece of serene shit. It was my way of showing my love to him.
"Can you get lost?" Cal asked with a straight face.
You had to give it to him, the dude knew how to poker face like a boss.
"No, you'll miss me if I leave."
Cal gave me a look that says he wouldn't have cared even if a talking lion came here and dragged me to Narnia. He was sweet that way.
"You need to make up with Rush soon. I'm sick of you showing your annoying face here." Cal complained, taking out a piece of cigarette and lighter from his pocket.
"You really need to get yourself a girlfriend soon. You're sounding more and more like a menopausal grandma each day." I said, turning off my laptop after I was done with my work.
Cal lighted the cigarette and took a long hit, inhaling the nicotine and all the wonderful stuff that came from it.
I missed smoking. I remembered the days when the four of us boys would sneak out of the school just to get drunk and get high in the basement of my house. Those were the times when we thought alcohol and nicotine would make us look cooler. We were all idiots at fifteen, after all. Come to think of it, we were still idiots now at eighteen.
Nevertheless, I stopped smoking as soon as I got back here from Washington DC. I was sure I had already smoked ten years out of my life span when I was still an apprentice in CIA, and I realized I still wanted to live at least until my forties. This world wasn't going to get rid of my awesomeness soon.
"She's pretty." Cal said out of the blue. I knew exactly who he was referring to.
I smiled.
"She accused me of taking ego steroids. Can you believe that?" I said, remembering our conversation earlier.
"Smart girl."
I nodded.
"She is."
Cal exhaled grey smoke, filling the air with the scent of Marlboro Black.
"I feel sorry for her for having to put up with a fucker like you." He mumbled.
I laughed. Such motivational words!
"She should feel honored to be friends with this hot shot!" I said, pointing at myself like the jerk that I was.
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Cal didn't look convinced.
"You still didn't tell her, did you?"
My smile was quickly replaced with grimace.
"No. And don't you dare tell her, you asshole! You almost had a slip earlier!" I said, referring to the incident after Physics class. It reminded me how Cal could be such a pain in the ass once he opened his mouth to speak.
I put my laptop to the side and brought out a small pack of M&Ms out of my pocket. I needed the sugar to keep my energy up. Cal glanced at me and raised one eyebrow.
"Still can't sleep at night?" he asked.
I shrugged.
"Nope."
He shook his head and cursed under his breath.
"CIA really fucked you up big time." He said seriously.
I smiled without humor.
"I was already fucked up even before going to DC, you know that."
"Not as fucked up as you are right now."
The two of us fell into an uncomfortable silence.
My mind went back to the last two years I spent playing the good cop, all the awful things I witnessed while playing hide and seek with real life demons. There were a lot of evil people out there, and they weren't afraid to upload their crimes on the internet.
I remembered the horror in every victim's eyes, the look of disbelief on their faces when they realized death was coming for them, the dull thud of their dismembered part as it hits the ground, the look of glee and psychotic laugh of their murderers while they brag about their crime online. Those were the things that I had to deal with everyday for two years.
And the worst thing? All I could do was watch everything behind the screen of my computer, feeling helpless and weak as fuck.
The senior agents told me I shouldn't let all the violence get to me; they told me I should learn to suck it up. My job was to block those malevolent sites, gather intelligence by tracking their locations, and then forget what I saw.
Easy for them to say. I wasn't a fucking robot.
I could still see the gore and blood and death whenever I closed my eyes. I could still hear the cries of help... they wouldn't let me sleep. They kept me awake at night, shivering and thrashing on my bed.
Maybe Cal was right, maybe CIA had fucked me up more than I already was.
Cal threw the butt of his cigarette to the open thrash can at the corner.
"I'm serious, Cole. Don't go back there. You're not supposed to go through that kind of shit. It will just scar you for life."
I was surprised to hear the concern in his voice. Cal wasn't a touchy-feely kind of guy. It was rare to see him voicing out his concerns even to us whom he considered as his best friends. It made me feel a lot better. It wasn't everyday you see Cal having an expression on his face other than boredom.
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I gave him a bear hug which I learned from experience was the best way to piss him off.
I didn't like people worrying about me. I'd rather they be annoyed than stress themselves about the choices I made.
"Awww! My darling, Cal, wook adowable when he's anxious. Come 'ere and let papa Hunter give you a kiss!" I cooed at him while pouting my lips and attempting to give him a kiss on the cheek.
He quickly scooted away from me, looking totally grossed out.
"Argh! Get off, you disgusting motherfucker!" he shouted.
I ignored his hysterics and held onto his arm like a Koala on its favorite eucalyptus tree.
There was nothing like pissing off your friends to make you feel better.
I was smiling secretly because I was able to change the topic. Aside from being a scheming asshole, I was also a manipulative jerk, I should include that in my CV.
That was the exact scene Parker and Rush witnessed when they arrived.
"What the hell?" Rush exclaimed while taking in the sight of us.
Parker looked hurt.
"So, that's what you two are doing here whenever you're alone?" he said accusingly.
He marched towards us and gave us an intense look.
"You two are so happy canoodling here and no one even tried to invite me?" he wound himself beside Cal so that Cal was stuck between us, and then he held onto Cal's arms and did exactly what I was doing.
"Cal, let me love you too!" he said in a false-seductive voice.
I knew I could always count on Parker to bring craziness to the next level. Our brains were exactly on sync. Great minds really did think alike.
"I love you, bro!" I said, giving him a flying kiss.
"I love you too!" he answered, catching my flying kiss with his free hand and bringing it up to his lips.
Cal could only watch us with obvious repulsion in his eyes.
"Rush, call 911 and tell them to bring these two fucked up lunatics back to the mental asylum they came from."
Rush shook his head, looking like he couldn't believe he was friends with us.
"Remind me again why I still put up with the two of you?" he asked in an exasperated tone.
"You like us." Answered Parker confidently.
I shot him a dark look.
"Man, don't talk to him. We're still mad at him, remember?" I told him.
Parker furrowed his eyebrows.
"We are?"
"Yes. We agreed to stay angry at him for a month." I reminded Parker.
"Oh right! I forgot."
Rush rolled his eyes.
"Really? How old are we again? Four?" he asked, now looking annoyed.
I ignored him. Instead, I looked at Parker with wide eyes.
"Man, did you hear something? I think I heard someone talking!"
Parker looked around, acting scared.
"I didn't hear anything. Must be the wind."
Cal looked up the sky.
"I must have committed a terrible crime in my past life to deserve friends like these two morons." He whispered.
Rush, Parker and I burst out laughing upon seeing Cal's tortured expression.
Damn, these guys were all assholes. But they were the assholes I missed.
***
Ten minutes later, we were all sitting on the floor side by side and arguing who was the stupidest out of the four of us. It was a unanimous vote in favor of Parker.
"I saw Davies with Kenji earlier." said Rush after a while, instantly removing the smile on my face.
"Why are they together?" I asked, completely forgetting the fact that I wasn't supposed to be talking to him.
"Dunno. I saw them on my way to Music. Davies looked a little shaken the rest of the class."
All three of them looked at me as if weighing my reaction.
I simply nodded.
"Hmmm. I don't like it. I need her as my buddy." I murmured.
Parker gave me a sympathetic tap on the shoulder
"Easy there, dude. You might just find yourself into deep shit if you won't be careful." said Parker.
"She said I should stop overdosing on my ego steroids." I whined.
Parker and Rush snorted loudly.
"If she only knew!" both of them exclaimed.
I ignored them. I already had a plan. And these douchebags would have to help me execute it.
"Hey dude," I called Parker. "Make sure she'll join us at lunch later today, okay?"
Parker shrugged. "Sure, sounds exciting. But don't blame me if she falls in love with my awesome self."
"You don't have to worry about that, asshole." I said, then I turned to Rush.
"And you, you still owe me one thing. Just continue what you're doing."
Rush sighed.
"Fine, whatever."
And then I looked at Cal and gave him a piercing look.
"Cal, here's what you need to do, just keep your fucking mouth shut."
Cal threw me a bored look.
"This is stupid." he said.
Parker laughed.
"Aren't we all?" he said.
That shut us all up.
He definitely had a point.
***
😉
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