The doctors office smelled of rubbing alcohol and bleach. It caused her to squint her sensitive eyes and hold back the bile that threatened to rise from her throat and spill out of her mouth and onto the clean, white floors. She swallowed hard to get rid of it, and focused her eyes upward to see a child crying.

He had a Mickey Mouse bandaid on his arm, and was most likely traumatized by the sight of a needle going into his flesh before his hot, dark blood ran through a tube.

She thought back to when she had to get blood drawn. She was younger, and still distinctly remembered the feeling of the blood being sucked from her veins and then taken to a lab. She thought of it as a death lab as a child, and all of the doctors were demons aching to get ahold of her innocent, clean blood.

She bit her lip, nervousness coursing through her veins.

"Mattie?" Dr. Pilgrim called from the wooden door across the room before walking closer to her. "The nurse told me you were here," he hesitated, "without your mother?"

She swallowed her fear and nodded. "Yes, I came in secret."

Dr. Phillip Pilgrim was her doctor since she was a little girl. He gave her almost every shot since the nurses made her nervous, and gave her cherry dumdums each time a tear fell down her cheek from the sharpness of the needle.

He was almost like a family member; which made the situation she was in even more difficult. Dr. Pilgrim then turned around before scratching his slight grey stubble on his chin, as if making sure nobody was looking- as if anybody cared for the girl with the pale face and sickly chapped lips. Everyone had their own problems.

Goosebumps arose upon her skin as she felt the air conditioning turn on full blast- she shivered shortly afterward, but it wasn't just from the cold. She was nervous; for it had been her first time at the doctors by herself. Which might not have been the brightest of ideas knowing that this was a pediatric doctors office.

She knew if her mother hadn't babied her all of her life that this wouldn't have been a big deal- however it was. And that was the problem, everything was a big deal in her life.

She wasn't allowed to go check the mailbox without her cellphone in her pocket just in case if, in her mothers words, a white van came by to swoop her up. She'd seen that on an episode of Law and Order, and ever since watched her daughter like a hawk out of fear.

It was upsetting that fear was starting to overtake the feeling of freedom that the world used to offer. It was down right tragic, and not to mention scary at how fast happiness could turn into fear.

"Follow me." Dr. Pilgrim said in a low voice, walking her through the waiting room and into a section of many rooms.

The sound of babies crying and children hollering pounded at her eardrums, quickly causing a headache and a familiar pinch of fear that she always felt walking through those halls that reeked of sanitizer and rubbing alcohol.

After passing about five doors, they reached one at the end of the hall. It was one of the biggest, and had one of those chairs that looked quite similar to those you would see in a dentist office.

"Take a seat." He gestured to the chair before setting his brown clipboard on the counter and closing the door. She obeyed his orders and stepped upon it, leaning back afterwards for comfort.

She took in a deep breath, and ignored the cold air that pricked at her throat by closing her eyes, embracing the temporary darkness before she had to open them and face the harsh white lights above her once again.

"Now tell me," Philip took off his glasses and leaned against the counter that held jars of cotton balls and swabs. "Why are you here in secret Mattison?" He asked, curiosity filling his bright eyes.

"Well," Mattie replied, thinking of all her symptoms. "It all started a few months back actually, the nausea and the throwing up."

Pilgrim nodded as she spoke, taking in every word before processing what it could mean mentally.

"Well, the nausea could be a number of things. I could do scans, but you need your parent consent, you're only seventeen Mattie." He told her, saying exactly what she didn't want to hear.

"Or," he spoke up just as she opened her mouth to speak. "Are or were you sexually active?" He asked with slight hesitation.

Mattie quickly got red in the face. "No, no. It's not that." She ran a hand through her slightly oily hair.

"So you haven't been?"

She bit her bottom lip, wondering how she could tell her childhood Doctor that she had in fact, been having sex. Not just sex, rough sex. Sex that made Jaxson's bed hit the wall with every thrust, sex that made her toes curl and head pound with pleasure.

She decided to leave those details out.

"Yes, I have been sexually active." Mattie replied, ignoring his stare before biting the inside of her cheek as the room grew silent.

"Does your mother know?"

"No," she hesitated to think, "well, yes, but- I don't know." Mattie put her face in her hands, visibly embarrassed.

"Then why do you say it's not that?" He asked, clearly full of questions that were making her head spin.

A babies cry was heard next door, and Mattie mentally wished for a simple flu shot over her current situation.

"Because the guy- my boyfriend, said he had this condition where he can't get girls, you know," she stopped and shifted in her seat.

"Get girls what?" He led on, knowing the answer but wanting Mattie to confirm it.

"Pregnant." She finally replied, preparing for whatever her doctor was to say next by fiddling with her shaky palms.

"And did he say what the name of the condition was?"

Mattie was quick to reply: "I think he said it was hypo-" she closed her eyes and thought back to the day in Jaxson's living room. "spadias. Hypospadias."

Dr. Pilgrim nodded and scratched his chin once again in thought. "Are you sure he's telling the truth Mattison?"

"He wouldn't lie to me." She argued straight away, wondering if the doctors visit was even a good idea in the first place.

"Either way, I think you should really consider letting me try an ultrasound on you to see if there's anything at all." He said, not bothering to wait for an answer- but instead began to turn the machine next to her chair on.

She swallowed her fear and closed her eyes, nodding in agreement.

Maybe this ultrasound will detect a tumor? She thought, realizing afterward that she watched way too many movies.

"Let's lift your shirt now." He told her with a bottle of clear gel in hand. She quickly did as she was told, and lightly jumped in surprise as the gel was squirted on her bloated stomach.

"It'll be a little cold as I spread it." Pilgrim said as he did just that with one of those wand looking tools that she'd seen on the movies. She never thought she'd be in this position, let alone at seventeen years old.

A few minutes of silence passed as he ran the wand across her stomach, and she wondered if he could hear her rapid heartbeat that she had trouble controlling.

She looked at the white wall across from her, taking in each colorful butterfly and medical poster that was spread all across it. She tried to distract herself with calming things, however none of that mattered as she heard her doctor gasp before attempting to cover it off with a forced cough.

Mattie's heart dropped after seeing the worried look in her doctors eyes. Her doctors eyes that were sad to learn that his once innocent patient that had so many things going for her, was pregnant.

___

(A/N)

VERY late update I'm aware, but I hope this partly makes up for that. Xoxo

-Bailey