He stood outside of her window, his tux still on and his breaths still rapid, for he knew that in just a few minutes he would have Mattie's skin beneath his fingertips and her lips against his own.

He stood staring at her closed window, awaiting for the curtains to be pulled open.

It was a long wait, so as he stood there on their neglected and crunchy grass, he thought for a second that maybe she forgot. However, that had to be impossible. For the kiss they shared just an hour or so earlier was too much to simply not remember.

The way her lips moved along with his in such longing, the way she let out muffled sounds against his mouth, it was just too much.

Then finally, after twenty long minutes of waiting, he looked up to see Mattie pushing her curtains aside. He noticed that she had her hair up and a clear face, ridden of any makeup.

He smiled at the sight, loving the way she looked naturally.

Mattie stayed silent, only hand motioning him to come up with a unknowing expression upon her face.

Jaxson wasted no time and quickly climbed up the tree beside her window, grabbing branch by branch until the sweet smell of Mattie neared closer to him.

Mattie watched as his arms flexed through his tux each time he reached for a branch, and she tried her best to look away from his full lips as he bit them while hoisting himself from a branch and through her window slowly.

"I didn't think you could climb like that, are you okay?" Mattie asked, thinking she should have just let him in through the front door after her mother went to sleep.

"I'm fine. I've been looking at that tree for a while actually, thinking it'd be a perfect way to get in here." He said, his memories flashing back to the girls who's life he'd taken away. The way he climbed into her house the same way before wrapping his strong hands around her neck and twisting sharply until there was nothing left of her.

Jaxson slowly placed his hands on Mattie's neck, feeling her pulse under his fingers.

"So beautiful," he whispered, looking into her eyes that he swore were the most beautiful ones he's ever seen.

Mattie blushed and looked downward to her feet, "I don't think this is right." She said to him, and he moved his finger under her chin, lifting it afterwards.

"I know we haven't spoken in a while and I know you're trying to forget me, but let me just distract you Mattie." He pushed a loose strand of hair that was falling from her ponytail behind her ear before placing a soft kiss on her lips. "Let me take care of you."

And with that, he began to undress her. First he pulled her dance recital top over her head and tossed it to the floor before slowly unclasping her bra. He kissed her neck as he did so softly, making sure to go over her favorite soft that always made a moan escape from her lips that were raw from biting them.

He picked her up and placed her on her bed before undressing himself as she watched with lustful eyes.

It was a relief for him to finally get the tux off, and even more of a relief to see the woman he loved shirtless and in front of him, finally his. At least for the night, he thought with a frown, but didn't let that stop him from pulling down his boxers without hesitation to reveal his length that was already hardened by the sight of Mattie's full, and perky breasts.

He finally climbed on top of her, palming her breasts before going lower to place his tongue over her hard nipple, causing goosebumps to form all over her milky skin.

"Oh, Jaxson." She moaned as he pressed his erection against her tights, just where her clit was.

He licked her nipples once more before starting to move lower, placing kisses upon her stomach until finally reaching the fronts of her black tights.

Mattie yelped in surprise as he ripped the front of them, instantly revealing her pink pussy.

"Jaxson!" She hissed in an attempted whisper, trying to hide the fact that what he just did was extremely hot to her.

"No panties?" He ignored her by asking, raising a brow while rubbing his thumb over her clit, wasting no time at all.

"N-no. It would show a panty-line if I did." She tried to say without moaning loudly from his contact that she so dearly missed.

He didn't reply, but instead began to push his tongue inside of her while rubbing away at her clit.

Her hips instantly bucked off of the mattress, but he pushed her back down and continued his hand and tongue motions, wanting desperately to make her scream his name.

"You like how that feels, baby?" He asked, spitting on her clit afterward. She quickly moaned from the new feeling, and said his name over and over until she was seconds from her climax. She made sure to stay quiet enough for her mother to not hear a thing, but it was hard with Jaxson's very skilled tongue.

"Don't come yet," Jaxson ordered, taking his now wet fingers off to her surprise.

"I want you to do it with me."

She blinked rapidly after hearing this, and by that point was already pulling him up by his shoulders and feeling his length being pushed into her seconds afterward.

"Oh fuck," Mattie groaned before throwing her head back as he began thrusting harder and harder, showing her exactly who she belonged to.

"I'm the only one who can make you feel this way, right?" Jaxson whispered in her ear, stopping his movements until he received her answer.

"Yes! The only one-" she quickly placed her legs on his waist, pulling him closer and deeper into her.

The only one. He repeated in his head over and over again before coming into her minutes afterward.

That was what he has wanted for so long. He's wanted that while watching her write in class, he's wanted that by watching her bite the end of her pencil like she so often did, and he especially wanted that while watching her talk to the blond boy in which he hated. For he wanted her all to himself.

However a thought quickly hit him. It was a thought that he feared very often, and he believed that it was coming true: after the night ended, she wouldn't be his any longer.

He began to think that no amount of kissing and showing her how much he loved her physically would matter, for she didn't want him in that way. She wanted him to distract her, and he knew that, but as she told him to leave after they both were finished, he realized all she wanted was the sex.

She didn't want to dance afterward or lay together and talk, she didn't want to run her hands through his hair or run her fingertips against his cheek, she only wanted him to get dressed and leave.

"You're using me." He told her about ten minutes after they both relaxed from their climaxes.

"What?" Mattie asked while putting on a purple pajama shirt. He frowned.

"I said you're using me, Mattie. You've never told me to leave before." He sat on the edge of her bed, watching as she cocked at brow and walked closer to him with a confused look upon her face.

"You said before you just wanted to distract me-"

"I know what I said." He interrupted, "I just thought you'd maybe change your mind about us." Jaxson pushed his hair out of his face and clenched his jaw, not knowing of what Mattie would say next.

"Jaxson, you do realize my mother will find a way to have a restraining order on you if she ever found out I was with you right? Does that not matter to you? Does your safety not matter to you?"

A moment of deafening silence passed, and he finally replied with his most honest answer:

"No, but yours does." He told her, watching then as Mattie closed her eyes, ignoring the feelings for Jaxson as they began to bloom in her chest, each of his words watering them each time that he spoke.

Act like you don't care, Mattie thought.

"Please go." She whispered and lowered her head, the words feeling so foreign on the tip of her tongue.

"What?" Jaxson stood on his feet and neared her, not believing what he was hearing.

Flashbacks of Gracie rejecting him pulsed through his head, and he shook it off so anger wouldn't erupt, for if it did he would never forgive himself for hurting Mattie.

He knew he was capable of that.

"Please," Mattie held back unwanted tears, "my mother wants me with Tim."

Jaxson held his breath and clenched his fists. "Well your mother is not in charge of your life, you're fucking seventeen Mattie!"

"I know!" She yelled back, instantly regretting it after realizing how loud she was. "But I'm starting to think she's right." Mattie looked away from his gaze, hating that she had to act so careless just because her mother didn't like Jaxson's appearance and history.

"Oh really? So you're gonna go off and screw your little church boy on this bed right after we did what we just did?" Jaxson spat while pointing to her bed that had the covers sprawled every which way.

"Stop it." Mattie's face grew red, and all she wanted was to tell Jaxson that she was sorry and for him to hold her, but things had to change for his sake. Knowing her mother, she could have him put in jail by just making up a story since everyone in town trusted her so much.

"Fine. Is that what you want? Him?" He neared closer to her face, forcing himself to ignore the gorgeous color of her eyes and the curve of her lips.

She swallowed a forming lump in her throat, and watched as his jaw clenched as she shook her head slowly, not being able to lie to herself and to him.

"Then what is it? Is the only reason your mother?" He asked, pushing the same loose strand of hair behind her ear and out of her face, feeling his anger dissolve with one touch to her skin.

"Yes, but you have to go Jaxson." Mattie placed a hand on his bare chest, instantly feeling his steady heartbeat. And to her surprise, he nodded in agreement before placing his hand on top of hers that still lye on his toned chest.

Make her believe you're not angry, Jaxson thought, having to agree with her so that what he was planning next would go smoother.

Make her believe you're happy, Jaxson thought again and smiled in her direction.

Mattie attempted to smile back, a part of her surprised that he was taking what she was telling him so well.

Make her believe you're innocent, Jaxson thought to himself one last time before trying his best to calmly say his last goodbye.

And with that being said and done, he slowly turned around and opened her window before stepping out and climbing down the tree, going faster as he neared the bottom so that he could do what needed to be done quicker.

"Jaxson, wait!" Mattie hollered while holding back tears after realizing that this goodbye was real. "I still love you, don't forget that." She said, watching him look back at her after stepping foot on the ground.

"You danced beautiful tonight." He changed the subject, not being able to tell her that he loved her, because if he did he would have to explain exactly how she would never care for him as much and dearly as he cared for her. He loved her more, perhaps too much more.

Don't show him that you're weak, Mattie thought to herself while watching him walk back to his dark home that had not one light shining from any of his windows.

Let out your weakness, Jaxson thought and closed his front door, almost instantly punching a hole through his wall before letting out his anger through yelling.

Only until later, though. For that was when he would let out his anger in another way.

____