"What is love in your own definition?" I stare at Wendy blankly. She asked Yasmin to step out for the last thirty minutes, which confused me. These were her sessions... but whatever.

I sigh, not really sure to answer. She senses my hesitation and explains further. "What lets you know that you're in love with someone?"

I look away from her and look at my feet. "When I think about them; first thing when I wake up, last thing before I go to sleep. Every little thing I do or see, I think of them."

She nods and stares into my soul. "Do you love Yasmin?"

I answer immediately, "yes."

"Are you in love with Yasmin?" She flips the page in her notepad.

"What's the difference?" My words make her write faster, I narrow my eyes at the yellow lined paper.

"Is it not true that you can think of someone day and night and not be love with them?" She looks up at me in question.

"I mean, yeah, I suppose. But—"

"You can love literally anyone. But how many people can you say you're love with in one moment? I believe true love has many lives. I believe that each person has multiple soulmates, the idea that there's only one person in the world, can't be valid.

"People in your situation find true love even though they hurt others and build a life together. But, you have to be sure that you're in love with Yasmin and don't just have love for her."

"Are you telling me that I don't love Yasmin? Of course I do. I'm here, I'm the only person she really has. Her parents are practically nonexistent. She doesn't have friends, I'm trying to help her get better." I try to control my anger but, how could she possibly tell me what I feel?

"I believe you love Yasmin, but not enough to start a new life with her and forget about your wife. You're not in love with Yasmin." I thought therapistts were supposed to be nice and break it to you gently? Who the fuck—

"I mean this with empathy, Logan. You've been coming to these sessions with Yasmin for over a month now. You have a pattern of trying to be a hero to the women you're in a relationship with."

"What?"

"Sarah, your ex-wife. Her parents were awful to her and you were her safe haven. You were her happiness, she felt protected with you. And there's nothing wrong with that, truthfully. But I believe you confuse love with deep sympathy."

I shake my head rapidly and glare at her, "you don't know what you're talking ab—"

"Ah, but I do. You're not the first man nor the first person in this situation. Savior Complex, quite common actually. Let me ask you this, what was the relationship like between your parents?"

I frown and look at the carpet. "They were fine. Happy. Never really fought."

"And you relationship with them is good, right? You've talked about having a good childhood before as well. So, when did you first feel the need to save others?"

"I mean, when I was a kid, I saw some stuff that I shouldn't have. I just knew that know one should go through that, no one should have to feel that amount of pain." It's quiet in the room for a long moment.

"I-I was just a kid then, but I remember everything. Like it was yesterday. And it killed me that they acted like nothing happened, like everything was fine. They didn't know that I snuck back home."

My eyes start stinging and blink them away. "What happened, Logan?"

"My dad used to have a gambling problem, it wasn't as bad as the stories you usually hear. But, he was very prideful all those years ago. Anyways, he got involved with the wrong men. They didn't play by the rules, they kept coming around or driving by every now and then. Just to try and scare my dad.

"My dad didn't really take it seriously. I mean, he's a pretty scary guy when he needs to be. One night, I was supposed to be at a sleepover with my friend, but I was too afraid and decided to just walk back home. Our house was only a two houses away from my friend's.

"I came in through my window and tried to go back to sleep but then I heard the screaming. It was my mom, my dad was shouting and things were breaking. I went downstairs to find my mom in the arms of two men, with two others holding my dad down."

I decide to cut the story short, it was getting too hard to speak. "They raped her that night, taking turns. My dad sobbed, crying out for her but they wouldn't budge. And I just stood there, frozen. I couldn't move, speak, I just stood there.

"The next day, they found me hiding, shaking from head to toe. They put all their focus on me, acting as if it never happened. I was so useless, even as a kid."

"You weren't useless, Logan. You were a child that experience heavy trauma. Why was it up to you to fix it?"

"I could've done something! Anything! I just fucking stood there and pissed myself because I was so scared! I was six, I could walk, I could speak, I could read and write! Why didn't I do anything?!" My voice cracked as I started to get angry. Angry at myself.

"It wasn't your job to do anything, Logan. It wasn't your fault, it wasn't your mom's fault, and it wasn't your father's. It was a situation that was simply out of your hands, but it is not your job to fix people that you believe need saving. Sure Yasmin needs someone, but she needs someone who's willing to love her and not simply fix her."

"But I do love her, I miss her when she's not with me. I need her." I clench my jaw and wipe the tears away that spilled over my cheeks.

"You just don't want to be alone, Logan. You lack independence. You were with your ex-wife for over a decade. All you know is her, truly. And you've hopped into a relationship with Yasmin, knowing deep down that you're not over Sarah."

"So what, I'm just supposed to do then, leave her? I can't do that!"

"So you'd rather lie to her?"

"No! But— I can't just... I made a fucking promise. I keep breaking my promises to her. I don't want to hurt her anymore."

"Yasmin is a tough girl. She needs honesty more than she needs you."

I felt her words crack something within me. But she does need me.

"Yasmin doesn't need a man, Logan. She needs love. Real, genuine, true. It doesn't have to be from a man, it could be from a friend. You don't have to cut ties with her, but you can't keep lying to yourself and you can't keep lying to her."

I process her words and think back to my personal definition of love.

I knew who I was thinking about when I said it, and it wasn't Yasmin.