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I should be sleep by now but I don't have time to edit, I'll do that in the morning so please excuse any mistakes ❤️

Sarah sat on the couch, watching the clock with bloodshot eyes. It had been nearly three hours since Logan had left for his run. She had called him once a few minutes ago and restricted herself to one an hour.

Her mind went back to the words Olivia screamed at her. The accusations about him and Yasmin. What if he was with her right now, she thought.

If he had just stayed, we could talk about it. I wanted a baby, that much was true. I just needed to find a way to get him to agree. I could do all the work, I just want this one thing. That's all.

Truth be told, the couple had never really gotten over her miscarriage. Logan used work to mask his pain and Sarah, she chose to pretend it never happened. She allowed herself to wallow in pain for all of a week until she reverted to her old self. Or, so everyone thought.

Against everyone's suggestion, she wouldn't let herself remain depressed. She had to move forward, she believed that pretending it never happened was healing.

But death and loss are more than sweeping it under a rug, it remains in your heart. To turn it black and cold, or to make it beat faster than ever before. With her loss, her heart was beginning to turn black and cold.

She had Logan and that was all she truly needed and that would've been fine until he threw himself into work.

Now all she had was money and loneliness.

She didn't eat anything, her nerves eating up all proper logic. As soon as he stepped through the door she would do whatever it took to convince him, beg if she had to. She didn't think she asked for much very often, but this wouldn't go away.

Just as she began to bite at her new acrylic nails, she heard a key turn in the lock. Jumping to her feet, she wrapped her arms around herself and stood a few feet away from the door.

He walked in, looking just as he did when he left. He must've rested at the park since he wasn't sweaty. Since Logan was athletic in school and never missed a day at the gym, she shrugged it off and let anxiousness occupy her mind.

He kept his head lowered as he shut and locked the door behind him, slowly turning to face her. He couldn't read the expression on her face, but he knew she was still upset.

They said nothing for a moment. Allowing the tension to speak for them. He took his hat off and pushed his hair back from his forehead. She uncrossed her arms and interlocked her fingers together before taking a few steps toward him.

He said nothing, not knowing what to say to her, really. A small part of him was itching to tell her the truth but he couldn't crush her feelings like that, she was already torn up about this whole baby thing.

"I know that, we went through hell after we lost Nicolai. And over the past few months I've used shopping and... well, shopping to fill that void because I have nothing to do. I'm not smart like you, I've never accomplished anything. I have absolutely nothing to show for myself besides things. And things, and more things, and even more shiny things. All these objects I bought to fill a void that only our baby could fill. And the other before him that we didn't have time to name, before she died inside of me.

"She's gone and he's gone and I've always felt responsible. Always held the guilt. Every time I look at you, my heart hurts because he looked just like you. I-I held him for those three minutes before he was taken from me, and then he was gone. His heart just stops. And that's the only memory I'll ever have of him.

"Call me crazy, call me selfish. I know that I'm supposed to be a mother, what else is there, Logan? What else could I possibly do and love?

Please—" she moves closer and held his face in her hands. "Please let me have this glimpse of happiness. If I have another miscarriage then I'll have my answer. But we have to try."

He knew that she was in pain from all the loss they suffered, but he was never sure of the extent.

A year ago they lost their baby girl, who had yet to be named at only in Sarah's second trimester. It hit them both hard, no one expected things to turn for the worse since Sarah was perfectly healthy. Six months later, Sarah found out she was pregnant again and they were even more excited than before, but they followed every rule book, took every precaution.

And still ended up in heartache.

This was her last chance, if she couldn't be a mother... she wondered how much longer she could go in. She wouldn't tell Logan those thoughts, though.

Here Logan was again, between keeping a promise and breaking someone's heart. Yet again, he was going to do just that and beg for forgiveness from Yasmin. How could he possibly say no to Sarah after she told him all of this? After she finally let out all the pain she kept inside.

He knew exactly what his answer was.

"Okay, Sarah." He nodded and took her hand in his. "One more time."

Four neighborhoods down, Yasmin danced slightly as she checked her broiling salmon in the oven. Humming to an old school jam, she tossed chopped bell peppers, onions, and tomatoes into the sizzling copper pan.

Since Logan left again, she had been feeling cheerful. Logan promised her he would tell her no, she wondered when he'd tell her the whole truth. But she didn't want to push him, things were going well and she didn't want to ruin it.

When he brought up her wanting a baby, thoughts of being a mother herself crept into her mind. She always feared motherhood because her mother was never there for her, nor was her father but at least he made an effort.

A few hugs here and there, small smiles, he tried to express love for his daughter regardless of his upbringing.

His wife, however, hated her daughter. She couldn't stand to be outshined, least of all by her own daughter. She did everything she could to keep her husband emotionally unavailable from their daughter. It didn't take long for it to work since Quinten was a businessman, a good one at that.

The staff he hired to work in his home quickly became Yasmin's family. She learned to except it, though it didn't hurt any less. She didn't want that for her child.

But how could she give someone so innocent, something she never received?

She tossed the pasta into the crisped vegetables and turned the stove off. Her salmon was finally done, she took it out and began fixing her plate. She tried to portion but usually ended up eating for two rather than one.

As she sipped her wind and ate in front if the TV, she thought on whether or not Logan would want a family with her.

It was funny to think of, possibly delusional. She knew she was thinking too far ahead, but site couldn't help it. He told he loved her. Her own parents never uttered the word. Who else could possibly love her?

No one, she thought. He's all you have. Do everything you can to keep him near. She nodded her head at her own thoughts before finishing off her meal and adding more to her plate.

Things were looking up.

Finally.

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