• • •

I lost track of time while I was on the roof.

The light breeze blew my hair out of my face as I leaned against the ledge, my arms holding me up. It was a little chilly out, but it didn't keep me from staying up here a little longer.

I saw a strike of lightening in the distance followed by the sound of thunder, and it filled me with a small amount of serotonin.

My pulse jumped at the sound of a door closing in the distance, but I didn't turn around to see who it was. Nobody knew I was up here besides Brandon.

The thought of losing the woman who took me to my first skating class terrified me. She taught me everything I know about skating, and everything I do is for her. This would be the second time her cancer could possibly return, and a feeling in my gut told me that she wasn't okay. I wanted to be with her every second of everyday so I don't waste another minute being away from her.

I felt a warm presence to my right, but I kept my eyes in front of me. The smell of Tom Ford cologne was enough for me to know it was Harry.

"I already know the answer but...are you okay?"

I lowered my head and blinked away my tears. "No."

He sighs and mirrors my position, staring out at the city of Toronto alongside me.

"I lost my grandpa to lung cancer when I was fifteen." He started, and I guessed that Brandon told everyone what happened because I didn't say who I was on the phone with. "The man practically helped my mum raise me after my dad left us, so it was hard when he died."

I sniffled, trying to be strong for not only my Nonna, but myself. She's alive right now, but it still hurt to think that one day she won't be here.

"I've never met your grandma, but I know she's strong, and she will get through this. You know how I know that?" He asked, and I finally turned my head to him while he looked at me. "Because she has a strong, beautiful, and amazing granddaughter like you."

I wanted to smile, but I was still hurting and I just didn't have the energy to.

"Everything I am today is because of her." I whispered, my eyes remaining on the tower in the distance. "She was there for me when my own mother wasn't, and the only reason I am strong is because she taught me how to be."

"I remember when I was two years old, she took me ice skating for the first time. She was there for every class and competition I had up until she moved back to Italy." I continued, really reminding myself of all the amazing memories I got to share with her. "I wouldn't be where I am today without her, so the idea of her being gone one day just..."

"Sucks?" He finished, and I nodded.

"Yeah."

"I know." He sighs. Without thinking, I rest my head on his shoulder and he responded by wrapping his arm around me, rubbing my arm. "But she's still here, and that's all that matters."

"Brandon's right." I said to myself. "She's a tough son of a bitch."

Harry's chest vibrated from a chuckle, and I finally found the energy to smile. "Just like you."

A thought crossed my mind, and it only felt appropriate in a moment like this so I took the opportunity to say it out loud.

"Along with Brandon, Nick, and Riley, she was the only one who knew I was pregnant. I was gonna tell my dad, but she said not to until I passed three months just to be safe. She wanted me to come stay with her in Italy until I had the baby, so she booked me a ticket. The week before my flight, I had the miscarriage." I started telling him, swallowing back more tears before I could cry for what felt like the millionth time today.

"The day I found out was also the day my dad called me telling me that he was going to Italy because Nonna was in the hospital."

"I'm so sorry, baby." Harry whispered, his voice wavering as he held me tighter.

"I flew to Italy with my dad a few days later, and I spent every moment I could with her while I was there. I'd never seen her so...fragile and sick. She was always so energetic and talkative." My lips trembled as I reached up and wiped the moisture from beneath my eyes. "She was the one that was sick but she kept asking me if I was okay after I told her I lost the baby."

"Sounds like someone I know." He exhaled through a quiet laugh.

"I don't know what I'd do without her, Harry." I murmured, my voice shaking.

"Let's not worry about that right now, okay? You have to think positive." He tells me, running his fingers though my hair over my shoulder.

I nodded against his shoulder, knowing he was right. If she could read my mind right now, she would surely beat me over the head with a shoe.

Instead of mourning over someone who wasn't gone, I decided to change the subject to something that was for sure take my mind off of her.

"I found Zayn naked in Riley's bed this morning."

Harry pulled away from holding me and looked at me in bewilderment.

"Are you serious?"

"It was traumatizing." I confirmed with a nod, and he let out a puff of air from his mouth.

"I fucking knew it!" He exclaimed, running a hand though his hair before grabbing my face, automatically switching to concern, playfulness in his words. "Do you need me to wash your eyes out?"

He pulled his sleeve over his hand and started wiping over my eyes, making me let out a laugh and grab his wrists to pull his hands away from my face. He was laughing too, dimples and all.

"I'm okay!" I promised, wanting to tell him the other news. Louis had already come out to everybody, so I didn't see why I couldn't tell him who else I found together this morning. "You know who else I walked in on?"

"Who?" He asked curiously.

I bit down on my lips pretty hard, making the last minute decision to just blurt it out before I back down.

"Nick and Louis."

Harry's eyes nearly popped out of his head and his jaw dropped to the floor. "Shut up."

"I'm serious. There must be something in the air because to discover all of that in one morning was...I don't even know."

"You know what it is? Good karma. We got interrupted last night so the universe repaid you by allowing you to walk in on other people." He say, trying to make it all make sense.

"I wouldn't call that karma good. I'm seriously scarred."

"You poor thing." He pouted before pulling me into a tight hug. Our energy seemed to fade out and we just stood there in each other arms, listening to the rumbling of thunder and city life that happened below us.

"No matter what, I'll always be here for you, Maddie. I don't plan on going anywhere." He said after a while, tightening his arms around my shoulders.

"Ditto." I whispered, closing my eyes as I felt his lips on the top of my head.

• • •

"When did you know you loved me?"

I lift my head up from the assignment on my computer and look over at Harry, who is already looking away from his computer and at me.

I tilt my head with a smile at his random question, but answer it anyway. I knew at what moment, and I wasn't ashamed of it either.

"As weird as it sounds, I knew on our first date." I answered with pride, watching his beautiful smile grow into a grin. "I know it may seem early, but, I mean, we were friends for like a month before that."

"Our first date? Really? Didn't we go laser tagging?" He smiled, scrunching his nose.

I nodded, smiling as his dimples appeared. "For the second game,

you and I were on different teams. Your shoelace wasn't tied so you ended up tripping in front of me and I shot you." I smirked menacingly at the memory before continuing. "Instead of being a sore loser, you laughed with me. There was this moment while we were laughing when I looked at you...and I thought to myself - I love everything about him." I finished with a timid grin. "What about you?"

His smile widened as he sighed dramatically and glanced down at his bed between us before locking his eyes with mine.

"Honestly, the same day. You had shot this little girl before the first game ended and started cheering when you won. But then you saw the little girl start crying so you bought her an ice cream. That's when I knew I loved you." He explained, taking the both of us back to that moment on our date.

"I still feel bad about that." I frowned. I'll never forgive myself for making a child cry.

"Don't be. She was pretty happy after she got her ice cream." He chuckled, gripping my hand and pulling me onto his lap with a cheeky look on his face.

I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling like an idiot when I saw him looking at me with a bright look in his eyes, but failed miserably. He puckers his lips as I got comfortable on his lap, his hands on the top of my thighs.

I lean down to give him a small kiss, but he ended up reaching up with his left hand on my jaw and pulling me closer. I could feel him smiling against my lips, and I know he feels mine too, but they both drift away when he deepens the kiss and put his hand back down on my thigh, my hands now resting on the sides of his neck.

"Mm. We still have homework." I mumbled against his lips. He pulled away, attaching his lips to my jaw as he spoke.

"It can wait."

• • •