"Have you talked to Louis yet?"

I ripped my attention away from the book in my hands and up at Nick.

"No I have not. Can I go two minutes without your or Riley asking me that?" I huffed in annoyance, closing my book and getting up from Riley's couch.

For the past two days, Riley and Nick have all been pestering me with that question. If I hear it one more time I might become the next Vincent Van Gogh.

"Why not?" He asked, sitting in the spot I was just in and watching me as I walked to the front door. I came here for quiet time to read my book since Brandon had his girlfriend at our place, but I can't even do that here because apparently, Nick had a key to Riley's apartment.

"He is still MIA. Can I read my book now?" I asked, clearly giving off the fact that I was bothered by this conversation.

He leaned closer and read the cover of the book in my hands. "They Both Die In The End? Really?"

I shrug and lift the book, glancing down at it. "It's a good book."

Nick only shook his head and got comfortable on the couch. "Whatever you say." He sang, closing his eyes. "What about Harry? Did you have coffee yet?"

"Nope. He wasn't home when I stopped by the other night so I guess I'll ask him today." I answered, sitting on top of his legs.

Nick lifted his head to look at me with a glare and then dropped it back onto the cushion. "You better."

Frowning that I now cannot focus on my unfinished chapter, I stood back up and started walking away.

"Where are you going?"

"I am going home to finish the chapter you interrupted." I answered, walking towards the front door and sliding my shoes on. "See ya later."

"Talk to Ha-"

I was out the door before he can finish that sentence, already knowing where that would lead to. I took the stairs up to my apartment, praying Brandon and Anna weren't doing anything inappropriate.

When I got to our apartment, they weren't even there, so that was a huge weight off of my shoulders.

I sat in my room and read a few more chapters of my book before eventually, I got extremely bored. It was almost ten at night so I didn't know what to do to keep myself busy. I wasn't tired at all and I didn't have anything important to do tomorrow, so that just added to my boredom.

I sat up on my bed and rested my chin on my palm, blowing air out of my mouth as I looked around my room. A smile formed on my face when I spotted my ice skates sitting next to my closet door, begging to be worn. I haven't really been on the ice since the Olympics, and I have to admit I missed it a lot.

"I can't believe I'm doing this." I muttered to myself, getting up to grab the skates and my car keys.

I locked my door behind me and practically zoomed to the parking garage, jumping into my car once I reached it. After I turned it on, I put the heat on the highest setting and sat there until my car warmed up.

Once I got to the skating club, I don't know how long I just stood at the entrance of the rink looking at the ice as it stared back at me, but eventually I pushed myself onto the smooth surface, smiling when I feel how fresh it felt under the sharpened blades. They must have cleaned it within the hour.

I took a deep breath and slowly sped up, taking my hands out of my hoodie pockets as I do a couple laps around the border, slowly easing myself into skating backwards at a higher pace.

It felt exhilarating to skate again, especially when I could feel the breeze brushing against me and blowing my hair back as I manoeuvred on the ice.

Someone in the rink started playing music, and I found myself skating along with the slow tempo. I skated to the middle of the rink and brought my left leg around and bent it at a ninety degree angle as I spun counter-clockwise, lowering it and resting my foot on the other when I started to slow down. I bring my arms to my chest and continue to bring my pace down before coming to a complete stop.

I was breathing heavily from how fast I went, but my grin never left my face. I continued to skate around, working on my triple axel until I felt confident enough that it was close to perfect.

As I was sitting on the bench and removing my skates, my smile slowly fell when I saw a familiar head of hair briskly turn around and walk out of the arena towards the concession area.

I quickly stood up and sprinted through the door towards him. "Harry!" I called, nearly tripping on an innocent child as Harry turned around. "Shit, sorry." I apologized to the little boy before approaching Harry.

"Oh, hey Maddie." He greeted, feigning surprise as if he hasn't just seen me a few seconds ago in the rink.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" I asked nervously, playing with the lace of the skates in my hands.

He stood up straight, no longer feigning the surprise on his face. "I'm meeting with a hockey player about a potential shoot."

"Oh. That's nice." I smiled, decided against asking him about coffee since he was busy. "Well, I'll leave you to it."

Just as I began to walk away, he blurted out "Coffee!"

I lift my head up and almost jump back in surprise from how loud he was. "What?"

"We never really got to get coffee and talk. We can go now, if you want?" He asked timidly, running a hand through his perfect hair. "I already met the client so I was just about to leave."

Ignoring the fact that he just suggested we have our coffee at ten o'clock at night, I just smile and nod.

"Yeah, sounds great."

• • •

My leg was furiously bouncing up and down underneath the table as I sat in a booth against the window, patiently waiting for Harry to return with our coffees that he offered to pay for.

There were moments when I would look over at the door and think of running away and never coming back, but I couldn't do that to him, especially since I was the one who asked for us to talk. We needed to have this talk.

My pulse quickened when I saw him walking towards the table with two red Tim Hortons cups in his hands.

"Careful, it's still hot." He warns as he set my cup down in front of me, sliding into the booth across from me and putting his own cup down on the table.

"Thank you." I say, still trying to keep my right leg from bouncing too much by crossing my left leg over it. Having coffee will only add fuel to the fire that is my anxiety, but I desperately needed the caffeine. "One sugar, -"

"Two creamer. I know." He finishes with a shy smile. I know I shouldn't have felt the need to grin at the thought of him remembering something as simple as my coffee order, but I couldn't help but fight one back.

Remembering why we are here, I drop my smile and clear my throat. "So...how's everything?"

"Everything is good. It's weird being back here, honestly, but I forgot how much I loved it." He says with a soft smile.

"That's good." I answered, finally looking back up at him to see him watching me intently. He was always a really a good listener.

"What about you? How have you been?" He asked.

"I've been...great. I still feel like I'm on a high from the olympics." I chuckled to myself, and I watched as his lips twitched into a smile.

"I've noticed. Riley invited everyone over to her place to watch on what I think was the pairs free dance, and I was so nervous because your dad was there." He tells me, which made my eyes widen in amusement.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Not exactly how I imagined meeting your father, but I think it went well." He joked, which honestly made me laugh. Harry may be well built, but my father literally looked like a gym rat, so I can't imagine Harry standing next to my father.

"He didn't say anything to you, did he?" I asked, slightly worried that maybe my dad recognized him by name and said something to him. "He knows I dated a guy named Harry so I don't know if he made the connection."

"No, he didn't say anything. Brandon nearly chewed my head off, though." He chuckled dryly.

"Oh. I'm sorry about that." I frowned.

"Don't worry about it. I understand he was being protective. I'm sure the last thing he expected was to see his sister's ex boyfriend walking into Riley's apartment." He shrugged it off.

I chewed the inside of my lip as silence took over the next ten seconds before I finally spoke.

"I don't think any of us would have predicted it." I nearly snorted jokingly. "Right after Nick and I got back to our hotel after the gala performance, the last think I expected to find out was that you and Zayn moved back."

"I know. I'm sorry you had to find out that way. I'm still surprised that Zayn knew everything. I was panicking the entire time because I was scared of your reaction, while he walked around knowing that you already knew we were here."

"Yeah, that was funny." I smirked before a teasing comment slipped past my lips. "I almost felt bad for you. Almost."

"Ouch." He placed a hand over his chest and pouted.

I thought back fo our conversation in the elevator a couple weeks ago, deciding to bring that back up since that was the real reason why I wanted to talk to him.

"I'm sorry, by the way - for practically being an emotional mess that day in the elevator." I apologized.

"Don't be sorry, Madison. It's my fault. I shouldn't have pushed you that far because now you hate me and -"

"I don't hate you." I cut him off accidentally, wanting to make sure he knew that I did not hate him at all.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you did. I left you in the dark after I moved back home and I'm so sorry." He frowned, now avoiding my eyes as he stirred his hot coffee with the think straw.

"But I don't. When I said I could never hate you, I meant it." I smiled sadly, keeping my eyes trained on him until he felt comfortable enough to look at me. All I got was a simple glance and a shy smile before he spoke.

"You were right about a lot of things, though. When I was going through a lot of shit with my dad, you were always there for me. Then the one time you needed somebody, I wasn't there for you. I fucking hate myself for it." He apologized meaningfully, and I felt a slight sting when I saw the glossiness in his eyes when he finally looked at me again. "I am so, so sorry that I threw all of my stress onto you when we were together. You constantly made sure I was doing okay, and you took care of me when I was in a shitty place. I know you probably felt more like a babysitter than my girlfriend."

"Harry, that is not something to be sorry for. I loved you so of course I did whatever I could to help you; I did those things out of love and care, not because I felt like I had to." I ranted as soon after he finished.

His eyes were still watering, but he quickly blinked it away and let out a deep sigh. "You still shouldn't have had to deal with all of that when you were going through your own stuff with your mum. You didn't deserve any of it." He starts, glancing up at me before continuing. "But what you do deserve, is an explanation."

"I know you, Harry. There's a reason I told you that I wasn't upset about you leaving. I don't need an explanation, so it's completely up to you whether or not you want to tell me." I said softly, resting my cheek in my hand as I rested my elbow on the table, leaning forward to show him I am listening.

"After I got back home, I felt like I was holding you back. I knew I couldn't keep throwing my alcoholism and family issues on to you when you have your own life and your own family to deal with, and every time something happened, I felt like I had to turn to you for comfort because you were the only one who knew how to help, and I hated that I was so dependent on you. So I thought maybe if I ended it, you wouldn't have to worry about me, and I wouldn't have the constant urge to run to you every time I relapsed. It took so long to get better, but I'm two and a half years sober." He explained, our eyes staying connected the entire time.

"Harry, we were in a relationship. Whatever problems you had, they were mine too and not once have I ever regretted being there for you. Yeah, I did have my own problems with my mom but nothing else mattered to me than making sure you were okay. We both have a parent with bipolar, so I understood what you were going through and I wanted to help as much as I could." I explained to him, lighting the mood by adding in "I'm like that one Farmer's insurance commercial: I know a thing or two because I've seen a thing or two."

Harry was at the brink of crying at my little speech, but my comment about the commercial made him laugh, which earned a smile from me.

"You watch too much tv."

"I've been on my couch for the past two fucking weeks in pain. Sue me." I scoffed, not fighting the grin on my face now that we were in a better place.

"I'm really proud of you, by the way." I smiled, referring to his sobriety.

I wish I caught a picture of how his face just lit up, because I could look at it all day.

"I did it for you." He responded timidly.

"I'm sure you had plenty of reasons that weren't me for wanting to get better." I simply replied, finally relaxing and sitting back in my seat, taking a sip of my coffee. I immediately regretted it because it was still very hot. "Shit." I cursed to myself, setting my cup back down.

Harry was stifling a laugh at my reaction. "Still hot?"

I rolled my lips into my mouth as I came down from that strong burn. "Mhm." I hummed with a nod.

"Ouch." He hissed at my pain before bringing up another topic. "What have you been up to this week?"

I shrugged. "Nothing, honestly. It's pretty boring at the moment. You?"

"Same for me. I've been trying to find some days to meet with new local clients." He replied, taking a sip of his own coffee.

"So the photography is going well, I'm assuming?" I asked, bringing my cup back to my lips and sighing when my coffee wasn't scorching.

"Very well. I didn't think I'd actually be making as much as I am right now, but I'm grateful." He grinned, his beautiful dimples appearing.

"That's good to hear." I respond, showing how proud I was through the look on my face. "So...anyone special in your life?" I asked, wriggling my brows suggestively.

"Me? Oh, god, no. I haven't dated anyone since...well, since you." He replied in a chuckle.

Okay, I was not expecting that.

"Oh wow."

"Yeah, I just wanted to spend time bettering myself before dating anyone again. I don't regret it either because I'd like to say I'm doing pretty great."

"That makes sense." I nodded. He has definitely matured a lot, and there were more reasons to be proud of him just popping up during this conversation.

"What about you?" He turned it around, waiting for my response.

"I'm gonna be honest, I have tried dating, but it was very hard to find someone to compete with you." I laughed quietly. "I went on dates and stuff, but the dealbreaker was either my relationship with Nick, or the amount of time I spend on my career."

"Those guys - or girls - don't know what they are missing." He replied, which made my face heat up.

A reminder popped into my head, and I had to voice it before it went away. "Have you seen Louis around anywhere?"

Tilting his head at my unexpected question, he frowned. "No. I was actually going to ask you because I haven't seen him in a week."

I huffed and leaned back on my side of the booth. "Riley thinks he might be cheating, but I don't know. He has been ignoring everyone's calls. I was pissed about the thought of him cheating, but I'm not even mad at him anymore. At this point, I'm just worried."

"Why does she think he's cheating?" He asked, confused.

"She said he had been very distant, and that he wouldn't look at her. She also said the last time they kissed, she could feel like Louis was uncomfortable." I frowned. "I just don't understand what's happening or why he's missing."

"That is very weird." Harry nodded in agreement, joining me in my confused state. "If I see him, I will definitely let you know."

"Thank you."

"No problem. Now, anything else you'd like to get off your chest?" He asked, the both of us seeming a lot more comfortable around each other now.

Except when that question left his mouth, I froze. "Actually, um..."

He leaned forward in anticipation, but I grew more nervous as seconds passed by.

"No. I think that's everything." I finished, fear flooding through me knowing that I just missed an opportunity to tell Harry what I've been wanted to tell him for so long.

• • •