_____________________________________

The tears were uncontrollable now and I felt empty. Part of me felt as if he was walking away from me forever and there was nothing I could do about it. My heart was in pain and the dull ache in my stomach burned like a thousand stars. I needed him, that much I knew, so I did the only thing I felt right.

Moving forward, I sobbed as the tears streamed down my face.

"Aaron, wait! I love you."

And he stopped dead in his tracks.

**********

Another achingly long silence passed between us- an achingly long time in which I could sufficiently reflect and, consequently, regret my words.

But, it was far too late. The words had been uttered and all that was left was the anticipation for the response.

Anticipation being another word for dread.

Aaron hadn't moved from his position and I cursed internally. From how he was standing, with his back towards me, I couldn't see his expression.

What was he feeling?

His shoulders were tensed, that much I could tell. They had been tensed since I uttered those rotten words and the urge to go to him and power slam his shoulders down seemed insatiable.

Pulling me from my thoughts, Aaron turned his head slightly to his left, so he could look at me from the corner of his eye. He was breathing heavily, something I realised him and his friends had in common when they were angry.

I tried deriving emotion from the look he was giving me, but it was futile. His face was stone hard; unlike him. He dropped his gaze to the floor and a look of focus passed over his face.

He was thinking. About what, however, I was not sure. I felt the need to say something; something that could disrupt the silence that had created a pit on my stomach, but- before I could- Aaron sighed heavily and I watched his actions intently. He gazed up at me for a last second before slowly shaking his head and, with that, he exited the hallway.

He was gone.

I couldn't help it. The thought of how this may have been our last memory together stung at my heart and his absence bought tears to my eyes. This couldn't have been it for us. There needed to be more. I whimpered to myself as I remembered the worst bit in all this.

He hadn't said 'I love you too'.

The hurt etched deep within me. I hadn't expected a yes. However, I hadn't expected nothing to be said. The fact that I wasn't even worth an answer caused a stirring.

I stood numb, flinching slightly as I heard the 'bang' of the door as it shut. Yes. He was gone and, I knew, he wasn't coming back. There was no need. He had gotten what he had required and there was no further use of me.

I shook my head in sadness as I stared at the place he had stood. Turning around, I stopped suddenly upon seeing them.

Danny and Justin.

They stared hard at me for a while and no words were said by the three of us. Suddenly, Justin stepped forward. His beautiful eyes looked at me in what seemed like concern and he placed a hand on my arm. Even with this slight intimate contact he seemed highly uncomfortable.

He directed his sight to the distant hallway door, gazing at where Aaron had stood. He then returned his gaze to me, his hair flickering on his face as he spoke.

"Don't worry. I'll talk to him. He'll be fine." and, with that awkward comforting attempt, he moved slowly down the hallway and into the direction that Aaron had gone in. I watched in sadness as he too began to leave, but he halted on the spot.

Curious of his actions, I opened my mouth to speak, but stopped upon seeing Justin walk back towards me. The look on his face was the same as always as he stopped in front of me- expressionless yet his expression also held a bit of discomfort as he moved slowly towards me, putting his cold lips to my forehead.

It was quick. It only lasted 2 seconds and I knew it was probably not the highlight of his day, but the gesture was genuine. I smiled slightly at him before directing my gaze onto the floor.

Justin opened his mouth to speak, probably searching his cold mind for a piece of comfort, but his mouth was shut right after that and, I knew, he couldn't think of anything to say. He hesitated yet again and I wondered what it was that was so hard for him to say. Once again, his mouth opened and this time his deep voice arose through the hollow echoes of the grey hallway.

"I- ...just don't..... Be safe." He said sternly, with a grim nod of his head, before he too disappeared down the hallway.

I smiled, seemingly haven forgotten the severity of the situation until I heard a cough from behind me. I turned around to see Danny still stood motionless and it was unnatural to see on him. Danny always had something to say. Yes, there had occasionally been a few dim sentences.

Well, not occasionally.

However, he was always speaking, nevertheless. To see him quiet was an odd sight and I opened my mouth in an attempt to stop the madness.

"So how was go karting? " I said all - too cheerfully, but he didn't seem to be paying attention. He was looking at me, I was pretty sure of that, but he wasn't listening to what I was saying. I could tell that at the least. That was very evident from how he didn't even answer my question.

I opened my mouth to speak again, but was stopped by Danny. In what seemed like two seconds, Danny had latched onto me in a warm bear hug. I rubbed his back in comfort and tried to pull back, but to no avail. He wasn't letting go. I tried again, but all efforts ceased when I heard a loud sob. And then another. And then a whole cascade of sobs.

He was crying. For me.

I clenched my eyes shut tightly. To hear him sob like that, for me especially, caused a pain that could not be described. I had caused that sadness in him. It was me.

I could hear it all. Among all the sobs, there were pleas. He was asking me to 'stay' and 'listen to Aaron'. He was asking me a lot of things; many of which I knew I could not deliver.

And, then, he was asking me to promise him. To promise that I'd stay, no matter what to which I responded with a tight hug. I rubbed his back, speaking into his ear.

"Shh. It'll get better. It always gets better. "

**********

Raspberry or marmalade?

I picked both jam containers up, surveying them closely. I gazed back to the bread on my plate.

Yes. Raspberry always wins.

I picked up the container and dug a knife through it. I thought to myself as I spreaded it on the surface of the bread.

How was Aaron now?

It had been a week since I had last encountered Aaron and to say I was anxious would be an understatement. I was going mental to the point where I was jamming the plate instead of the bread.

Yes. That mental moment being now.

I sighed before picking up the bread instead to jam. Mum had said that I needed to eat. Upon hearing that I had gone to the doctors, she was beyond ecstatic. Of course, explaining to her again that searching for the treatment was not even a possibility had sort of dampened her mood. Nevertheless, she was tremendously happy that I had taken such a big step in 'becoming the mature girl that she knew I was destined to be'.

I, for one, had tagged it as the worst decision of my life because, not only, did the 'mature girl ' have to endure hearing yet another health official question her life choices, but she also had to verbally embarrass herself in front of the man she loved.

I let out another sigh before squishing the two slices of bread together. I wasn't hungry, but- in hindsight- I hadn't been hungry in days.

Maybe it was just a matter of forcing the food down now.

I thought back to my first meeting with Aaron.

"Er, look Brooklyn," he started lazily, gesturing tiredly with his hands.

"Britney," she piped up, sweetly.

He rolled his eyes. I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing. It was pretty clear he didn't care.

"Yeah, Britney. I really need to talk to..." He raised his eyebrow at me, awaiting for me to throw in my name.

"Alexis" I deadpanned, eying him with a flat stare. He smiled in return.

"I really need to talk to Alexis, so if you don't mind..."

Aaron stole one last look at her before he turned his full attention to me, his face turning from boredom to seriousness in a matter of seconds. He cleared his throat before speaking.

"I need a favour."

I never knew then how strongly I would feel for him in the course of our relationship. Thinking back,I wish I could say I regretted agreeing to the damn favour yet I knew it wasn't true. I'd say yes again in a heartbeat, even if I knew what was to come.

Before my thoughts could reach closure, a sharp pain hit my stomach. I screamed loudly for Mum, but remembered her and Dad had both gone to my aunts house. I cursed to myself before making my way over to the medication drawer where I knew my medicine were. They were to be taken regularly, twice everyday, but I never felt the need to do that, seeing as I had decided on not going through with the treatment search. However, the pain I felt right now was unbearable to what I had felt a few times in the past.

It was sharp and abrupt. I reached into the drawer to find my pills, only to fall back when a certain shot of pain hit extremely hard. I tumbled down onto the ground, clutching my stomach in pain.

I knew this was probably it and, so, there was no use of calling medical help. I didn't want the false hope anymore. All I wanted now was closure and the only way to get it was through him.

So, I dialled his number.

____________________________________

,