________________________

The sight of Aaron on the floor; his head in his hands was enough to make me forget about the burning sensation in my lungs. Panting heavily, I ran as fast as my aching legs could muster, coming to an abrupt halt in front of Aaron.

He didn't look up nor did he do anything else to acknowledge my presence. He just sat lifelessly, his face shielded from sight. No movement was made from his part.

I, on the other hand, had crouched down into a sitting position near Aaron, making sure to leave a suitable distance between us.

I hadn't forgotten what had happened the last time we had talked. I had wrongly accused Aaron and defended a filthy liar to whom Aaron held a displeasure towards. The chances are that Aaron hadn't forgotten it either and, if so, I'm probably the last person he wants to see right now.

Almost out of nowhere, Aaron spoke- the sadness evident in his tone.

"She's gone."

It was all that he said, but it was all he needed to say for me to understand what he meant. It was all he needed to say to bring the tears to my eyes.

"No." I whispered quietly as if doing so would change what has happened.

As if doing so would bring her back.

At long last, Aaron lifted his head from his arms and the sight of him had me both flustered and heartbroken; I couldn't stand to see him like this.

His face was pale and void of all colour. His hair was dishevelled as if he had ran his hands through it several times. I fell apart at the sight of him.

Yet nothing could compare with those eyes.

He stared at me with vacant eyes- so dull and dead. It wasn't the Aaron I had begun to know; it wasn't the eyes that I had lost myself in many times.

I blinked slowly and harshly as if I was trying to wake up. I needed to escape this nightmare, but- no matter how hard I tried- I couldn't seem to leave and then, suddenly, Aaron was talking and I knew that this nightmare was true.

"I thought I'd surprise her this morning." Aaron spoke quietly, hugging his knees to his body. I chose to say nothing. He needed to let it out. He needed the release.

He stared at the ground while he spoke.

"I got up earlier this morning- around 7:00am. I thought of giving her breakfast in bed like she did with me whenever I was sick. She deserved that much, right?" He asked, turning his head slightly to look me in the eyes and I nodded numbly. Aaron returned his gaze back to the ground.

A few droplets of rain fell from the sky. The temperature had dropped slightly since I had been here and I shivered a little as a rough breeze blew past. This weather wasn't good for my health, but I ignored it and looked to the grief-stricken boy in front of me. He was my main priority right now.

Aaron sighed deeply, looking up to the sky. A few droplets of rain fell on his face in the process.

"She was in bed when I came to her room with breakfast; her back was towards me. I put the breakfast down and went towards her to wake her up. I tapped her twice, but she didn't move so I went to the other side of the bed and-"

Aaron stopped mid-speech, running a hand through his hair. I stayed silent and rubbed his back, urging him to continue yet he didn't. He sat in silence as if the memory of what happened next had scarred him completely.

Whatever happened then, however, had scarred me completely.

A tear rolled down Aaron's cheek as he looked lifelessly ahead and I sobbed silently at the sight. Never, in the time that I had known Aaron, had I seen him cry. It seemed so strange to think of him even doing so and my heart clenched upon seeing him this broken.

I moved closer and lifted my hand, wiping Aaron's cheek, but before I could move back, Aaron had grasped onto my wrist. He held me in position as he spoke- his voice weak and fragile.

"When I saw her face, I was so scared." He said quietly. He then looked up at me. He seemed hesitant to speak, but- nevertheless- he continued, looking straight into my eyes as he did so.

"Her eyes were wide open, but she wasn't blinking. They just remained open and she was looking right at me. I couldn't help it, but I backed away from her. I know that makes me a bad son, but I was so scared. I called the paramedics, but- by the time they came- it was already too late. The time of death was pronounced 8:12am"

A few tears ran down my cheek. She was really gone. The thought of it seemed surreal yet I knew it to be true. I finally broke my silence, my voice quiet as I spoke.

"Where did they take her?" I asked cautiously.

At this, Aaron turned his gaze to the road.

"By the time she was declared dead, I had already called my aunt. She arrived when the paramedics were taking my mom out of the house. I told my aunt that I wanted to stay home. I just couldn't tolerate seeing my mom again after that. My aunt seemed to have understood though and they left at around 9."

I looked at my watch before turning back to Aaron.

"It's 1:15pm, Aaron. Have you been sat here this whole time?" I asked yet I already knew the answer. Aaron nodded numbly, his gaze still on the road.

By now, the occasional droplets of water from the sky had turned to heavy rainfall and I moved closer to Aaron to share his warmth. He didn't seem to mind this and, rather, moved closer to me. I smiled sadly at the small gesture, but Aaron didn't seem to notice. He looked down at the ground in sadness.

I sighed heavily. I couldn't stand to see him like this.

"There was nothing you could do, Aaron. Sometimes bad things happen that we can't control." I said, rubbing his back. Aaron could blame himself for years to come, but the honest truth was that nothing he could do would have changed anything and he needed to know this.

Aaron sighed heavily just as I had done a second ago. His eyes became glassy again and I regretted saying what I had because it seemed to create a new storm of sadness in him. He ran a hand through his hair.

"Last night, she told me her stomach was paining and I told her that I'd take her to the doctors tomorrow. If only I had taken her as soon as she had said that then maybe she'd still be here. Maybe I wouldn't have lost her." Aaron shut his eyes tightly, his voice burning with regret.

I pulled Aaron's face to mine, so that I could look him in the eyes.

"Don't blame this on yourself, Aaron. It wasn't your fault." My voice was stern as I said this.

Aaron's hair was matted onto his forehead now from the rain and the droplets rolled down his face as I looked into his eyes.

The eyes that I would always find myself getting lost in.

I was about to tell Aaron that we should both inside, but- before I could- Aaron spoke. His voice was firm and clear unlike his voice moments ago.

"My father." Was all that Aaron said and then he was silent again. To anyone else it may have looked like that's all that Aaron had wanted to say, but as I looked into his eyes, I knew that wasn't the case. His eyes were desperate; almost pleading for me to allow him to continue. He needed to let it out. He needed this.

One look into his eyes and I understood. I moved closer to him, nodding my head slowly and he nodded back in appreciation before continuing.

"From what I can remember, my dad was a hardworking man. I didn't see him a lot, only on occasional weekends and holidays because he didn't stay with us. His work-base was in Scotland." He said, disclosing the first actual thing I had heard him say about his Dad.

I stayed silent, waiting for him to continue and, after several moments, he did.

"My mom didn't mind him being away so much. She knew that it was the only way to earn our livelihood. I remember when the incident happened too. It was a Wednesday. My mom and I were headed to Scotland. The idea was to surprise him, but we didn't know that we would also be surprised. We both caught him red-handed in bed with a woman. I still remember my mom crying. I was only 8 at the time or else I would have-" He stopped abruptly before clearing his throat. By the time he had reached the end of his speech, his voice had risen significantly. The anger was evident in his voice. He continued in a calmer voice.

"My dad kept coming back to apologise, stating that it was just a mistake, but my mom wouldn't listen. She would kick him out again and again and again. Then, suddenly, he just stopped coming. Weeks passed. Months passed. He didn't come back. After that, my mom drank herself into depression. There was never a moment where she was sober. It was only after she nearly accidentally set the house fire that she realised the consequences of her drinking. She stopped drinking altogether. I don't know how she gave up such a strong habit, but she told me that I was her biggest strength. By the time I reached 12, my mom was completely normal and had gotten a job. Not a trace of alcohol was left in our household." He said, a painful smile on his face from the bittersweet memory. I rubbed his arm in comfort, but I knew it was useless. He needed more than that to make him feel better.

Nevertheless, Aaron smiled at the small gesture, stroking a hand through his wet hair yet his demeanour changed in seconds and a frown was back on his face.

"I'm just like him. I'm nothing but a cheat." He strained out in anger.

I sighed, putting my hair behind my ears.

"You're nothing like him Aaron. You kn-"

Before I could finish, Aaron cut me off.

"I'm everything like him and you know it. I play with every girls emotions. I know they all like me yet all I do is bed them and then, right in front of their eyes, I give their best friend my address. My mom saw it too." He argued, his voice ridden with disgust.

I shook my head in response, but Aaron wasn't paying attention to me anymore. His head was back in his hands just like when I first saw him.

"Aaron." I called out to him, sighing when he didn't answer. I was about to call his name again, but Aaron had already removed his head from his hands and- before I knew it- was holding my face.

He looked into my eyes, his hand stroking my jaw.

"Thank you for being here, Lexi. It means a lot." He spoke earnestly and I knew he meant it. I could tell by his eyes.

I placed my hands over his and smiled in response.

"There's no need to thank me. I'm always here." I said to which Aaron smiled back, his face still close to mine.

Only seconds later, did I realise him leaning in. His lips looked warm and inviting, tempting me to kiss him.

But I couldn't.

Before Aaron's lips could make contact with mine, I put a finger to his lips and stopped him in his tracks just as he had done not long ago. However, my reasoning was different.

I knew why he was doing this. He was trying to kiss me to dull the pain he was feeling. I remember what he had told me once.

I smiled back, looking up at him.

"What's your most favourite thing to do in the world?" I asked.

Aaron bit his lip and raised a dark eyebrow.

"That's easy. Getting with girls." He said, waggling an eyebrow.

I gave him a pointed look.

"Seriously, Aaron? Seriously?" I droned sarcastically.

He put up a hand in mock surrender.

"I'm serious, Lexi! It really is." He said, laughing. He shrugged before continuing.

"It helps me take my mind off stuff, I guess."

"What kind of stuff?" I questioned, looking up at him.

He shrugged again.

"I don't know. Problems, maybe- Whenever there's something pressing in the back of my mind. It just helps." He said honestly, making me smile.

He was doing this to forget what had happened and I felt for him yet I couldn't let it happen.

For now, Aaron had to deal with the pain. I know what ignoring the pain had done for him in the past. He had buried the pain of his dad inside him for so long and it was tearing him apart.

He couldn't do the same with his Mom. The pain may be to great to bear right now, but it would mean a better future for Aaron and that's all I wanted for him.

I looked apologetically at Aaron and he nodded understandingly before holding my hand. We sat in a long silence before Aaron spoke.

"Will it get better?" He asked, his voice laced with both fear and hope.

I smiled at the wet road, watching as the rain died down slowly.

"It always gets better."

And by the way that Aaron tightened his hold on my hand, I knew it was too late.

I was already in love with him.

_________________________