I pushed kalley off of me as I eyed Chris and Rakell sitting there flirting and shit.

I made a face as both of them got up and made there way towards the bathroom.

My heart was beating extremely fast. I hopped up quick and stormed in the bathroom.

The view I saw made my heart sink way to the bottom of my stomach.

I stood there watching as kell sucked on chris's neck as Chris fingered her.

Rakell looked up and saw me quickly pushing Christina back.

''Oh damn.. My bad" I said as I rused out the bathroom almost bumping into my mother.

"Uh, look mom I have a really bad headache. I'm sorry but I gotta bail on y'all right now" I told her.

She sighed "alright kaydena. Be safe on your way home" she told me as I ran out to my car trying to get my car unlocked.

"Kayden!" Rakell called out to me.

I ignored and finally found my key to my car I unlocked the door and got in as quick as possible only to have my armed yanked in response.

"Kayden please wait." She cried out.

I looked up at her. "What!?" I said with my voice cracking a little.

"I'm sorry!" She said looking me dead in the eye.

"Sorry for what?, you didn't do anything. I didn't mean to walk in on y'all like that I should of knocked oh fucking well." I said trying to cry in front of her.

"Kayden just let me in!, tell me that you dont wanna start over fresh from how we use to be''

''Rakell! I dont fucking remember how we use to be!! I dont remember shit at all! Everythings a big fucking blur! What dont you get about that!?!" I asked screaming at her.

"Kayden you were my first kiss! The first girl I actually loved! How could you sit here and not remember any of this?!"

"Easy... You left, I lost memory of everything that happened." I started to laugh " and your fucking nuts.. I had my first kiss in the 9th grade. At a sleep over. You was no where near." I finished.

She chuckled lowly nodding her head." I can't believe your doing this.. Your actually doing this." She started to walk away from my car as I sped off with tears streaming down my face.

Why does this hurt so fucking much.. Why am I so broken inside... I don't even like studs....do I?

So many questions flooded through my head as I drove towards my house.

By the time I got there I was looking a complete mess I cried and cried and I even started pulling at my hair...

So many question that I didn't know the answer to just flooded through my mind....

I layer in my bed thinking harshly. As one of my dreams flooded across my mind I jumped up pulling my pants leg up viewing little bite mark scars on my leg. I gently ran my hand across it and completely blacked out.

I woke up in a child's bed room. There was a little girl laying next to me. Our finger were intertwined and her hair was covering her face. I sat up to see myself through a mirror. I glared long and hard to notice that I was looking at the younger me. I looked around the room to notice my ankle was covered in white tissue wrapped around it. The little girl next to me finally sat up and smiled.

"Kay Kay, your awake." she said to me

I nodded unwillingly and and rubbed my eyes.

"Rocky my leg hurts" I said unwillingly once again.

This is the exact little girl I see in almost all of my dreams. There's never a time where I really have had a dream without her..

"Here let me see" the little girl said as she grabbed my ankle and kissed it. "Does it feel better?" She asked.

"Yes a little" I continued to speak without will.

Next thing you know I blacked out again this time when i awoke I looked around and noticed I was in a back room, toys were all around all over the place. I heard giggling coming from a closet. As I got closer I heard voices.

"Kaykay what if we get in trouble?" A little girl asked.

"We won't rocky. I trust you! I know you dont have cootiessss!!" The little me said

I was confused on what was going on until I saw the little me kiss the other little girl.

Awww shiddddd Lil Me a player. I got the movesssss. I laughed at myself as I continued to watch what was going on.

They pulled away and smiled at each other.

"I liked that" the little me said. "Me too! Let's do it again" the other girl said pulling little me in her arms kissing me. Next thing I saw was a women she swung the closet door open wider and yanked little me off the girl.

"Kayden!?!, what are you two doing?!" The lady yelled angerly. Little me looked terrified as the other girl sat there unphased.

"That's my girlfriend you can't pull on her!" The little girl said to the lady.

I started to speak but blacked out yet again. This time I woke up in my old room at my moms old house I looked around as I heard yelling in the other i opened the door and saw little me crying in the door.

"Mommy!!, I want rocky!!" I continued to cry as my mother held me in her arms.

"Kay, baby they left I'm sorry I can't do anything about it"my mama said to me.

"No! I want Kelllll" I whined as everything went pitch black and I woke up in my room in real time.

The little girl was Rakell... "This shit hurts...." I said thinking out loud.

I dont get it.. I was so attached to her.... But how'd I forget about her if I was so attached...

I looked at my clock and saw it 10:40 a.m. Tuesday morning.. I slept for two days straight...? Weird.. I looked at my phone and saw over 40 missed calls and text messages most calls were from my mom I had voice mail from Ashley and there was a few messages from Chris. I mentally rolled my eyes reading them

I just read her messages and sighed..

I know she didn't know that i had feelings for Rakell but still..

I sighed a Lil as I got out of bed and looked in the mirror. God I looked like shit.

I went and got in the shower and slipped on a pair of boxers and some basketball shorts with a sports bra. I slipped on some Nike slides and a hoodie and grabbed my car keys driving over to my moms place.

I fucking need answers.

I've been laying in bed miserable as fuck.

I'm hurt... Shes not letting me in and I feel like I hurt her when she caught me with Christina.. I dont know what happened I just ... I haven't been touched in awhile and it just felt really good... Even though I didn't get to cum..

I was in bed crying once again when Macy walked in my room slamming my door shut locking it.

"You look fucking disgusting!" She said to me.

I sniffled looking up at her" no shit" I told her.

"And you stink but dont even get me started on that. I came in here to talk with you''

"About what!?" I yelled at her

"About how you fucked up our plans to get you a Kayden back on good terms the other night! How could you slip up and let her best friend tempt you like that?! Huh? Rakell are you fucking stupid?! Your laying here in this bed crying and miserable as fuck. But I bet you didn't even try or consider the fact that Kayden may have been mor hurt then you!? Do you know that nobodies heard from her since the other night? She hasn't picked up her phone they said she ain't been to work or even answering her door. What if she hurted herself because you wanted to be an ass about the situation!?'' Macy yelled at me.

I sat up wiping my face" I didn't do shit to Kayden! This whole time that we've been back from new York Kayden hasn't even tried to let me in. She just keeps bringing up the fact that I left and the fact that were not friends anymore. She hurts me every time she says something like that.! I'm so fucking whipped over her and she dont even know!she won't even try to consider the fact that I'm trying to make it like old times!" I shouted back at Macy.

"Get the fuck out of bed and make your way to her mothers house and find out where she lives and what her number is. I dont care what happens your going to make her accept you! And she's going to accept you!" She yelled at me once again.

I broke back up into tears as I stumbled getting out of bed making my way into the bathroom getting cleaned up.

I pulled up in front of my mother house. I took the keys out of the ignition and ran up unlocking the door running inside nearly tripping. I heard her and Ashley's voice In the kitchen.

"Kayden!" She shouted running over to me.

"Baby I've been worried sick about you. Are you alright!?" She asked me examining my face all over.

"Yes mama I'm fine" I told her smiling a Lil.

She nodded and then my question entered my head again.

"Mama I have a question" I told her

"And I might have a answer mija, what is it?" She asked looking at me.

"The scars on my ankle...where'd I get them from?" I asked her.

Her whole facial expression changed and she looked up at me " you were climbing under a fence and got your leg stuck through the wires, why" she said lying to me.

"Because the other night I had a dream... And in that dream I was being attacked by a dog. And the person there to help aid me was Rakell... Right along with a man and you." I shouted at her.

"... How much do you remember Kayden?"

"How much are you not telling me kaylina?!" I asked staring daggers into my mother

"Moma what's going on ?'' Ashley asked.

"You wanna know what happened?! Here's what happened! Kayden you were only 10 ... On night me you and ashley came home from your grand mothers and your father had a chick in our home! They were having sex in our bed!Kayden you followed me up the stairs going on and on about the game you and your granny had played. I shushed you as the moaning grew louder I bussed through the door to see some chick on top of your Father I took a bat and hit her upside the head she fell back on top of you causing you to hit your head against the wall you were knocked unconscious and I had no idea that you were out..but while you were knocked out I fought both your father and the chick ... I pushed her out the widow and your father jumped out trying to save her. He fell and broke his neck cracking his skull! I screamed at the sight that was going on and then I turned and saw you in the corner unconscious I had literally lost it.

I called 911 and explained to them on what happened and they came with paramedics.. When you finally woke up from being unconscious you had lost a lot of your memories.. The doctor said that you would have gained most of your memories by your 11th birthday... And you did. But certain memories for some reason.. Didn't return... You never said anything else about Rakell or your father... So most of the pictures of your father and you or even Rakell.and you. I took them all down. But a couple of weeks ago when I ran into rakells mom I came home found the pictures and out them right back up hoping that you'd at least gain most of the memories with you and kell back." She said finishing her story I just looked at her blankly.

"So you mean to tell me that our father is dead because you caught him cheating and he jumped out the window with his mistress?" I asked her ignoring the fact that I had lost my memory when I was younger.

"Yes kaydena" she said to me.

I rolled my eyes and then thought a Lil more"so when dis you plan on telling me the truth about my memory? Or the truth about my father?."

"Kayden your memory was suppose to return.. And your father? I didn't want you to remember having to see all of that" she finished.

I groaned glaring at my mother " do you know how much shit I put rakell through?! Mama ive been pushing her away and calling her a liar about a lot of shit! Even when she told me I was her first kiss! I sat there and denied it to the fullest and then you come and tell me that I lost my memory when I was younger?.... " I was about to speak when I heard a voice... And for the first time I was actually really happy to hear it.

"Ms kaylina!?" I heard her say.

I looked over at Ashley who had tears streaming down her face. Ion even know what she was crying for but I shrugged it off and ran towards Rakell. I jumped in her arms hugging her tight.

"Rocky I'm sorry!" I said as I held her in my arms.

She unexpectedly hugged me back.

I looked up at her smiling " I wanna start over!!" I told her

"Y-you wanna start over?" She said looking at me.

"Yes! I wanna start over. I'm letting you in. You were right your my best friend and I'm not letting you go, I'm sorry'' I finished

She smiled down at me nodding" okay! Okay!"