I had woken up a while ago, but I didn't get out of the bed. It was pointless. I didn't have anything to do. I didn't want to walk around as the girl that everyone pitied.

I rolled over, holding one of the pillows in my arms. It still smelled like him. The room still felt like he was here. But I knew he wasn't.

"Lilith?" Thor said from outside of the room. "May I come in?"

"No," I said with a monotone voice. "Go away."

"Please, I only wish to speak with you."

"I can hear you just fine from here." I heard him sigh.

"Very well. I wanted to let you know that we are having a memorial for Loki tonight. I know it would honor him if you came." I clenched the pillow harder.

"Alright. I'll be there."

"Thank you. I shall send someone for you when it is time."

"Okay." I could tell he was still standing out there. "Is that all?"

"Yes, I suppose so."

"Okay, I'll see you later." He didn't respond or walk away yet. "Goodbye, Thor."

"Goodbye, Lilith." I finally heard him leave.

"Ugh," I said as I pulled the covers over my head. "I hate this." I didn't know what I meant by this, but I definitely hated it.

I tried to remember my dreams as I just lay there, but nothing came to mind.

"I will protect your mind from him as best as I can. I swear." Loki's voice echoed in my mind. He kept his promise. He kept me safe.

"Thank you, Loki." I pulled up my sleeve to look at my arm. My left arm was just full of reminders. The tattoo, the burns, and the scar I got from the day we were kidnapped. I slid my hand across each of them, remembering the days when I got them. The burns hurt the most, both physically and mentally. These are going to haunt me forever, aren't they?

Hours passed of me just lying in bed. I didn't have the will do actually do anything except for wait for Thor to send someone.

"Lady Lilith? Are you in there? Prince Thor sent me to fetch you." It was the woman from before.

"Okay, thank you."

"Do I have permission to enter, miss?" I was confused as to why she might need to come in, but I let her anyways.

"Yeah, come on in," I replied groggily. She slowly opened the door and stepped in with something in her hands.

"Good afternoon, miss. The Allfather sent a dress for you to wear, if you don't mind." I sat up as she spread it out on the end of the bed. It was a long black dress with long lace sleeves.

"It's beautiful. If you see him give him my thanks."

"Yes, miss. You might need help with the back. I can help if you want."

"Yes, that would be nice. Thank you. Let me just put it on in here real quick," I said as I stepped into the bathroom. I pulled off my clothes and threw them to the floor. I stepped into the dress carefully and pulled it up. I slipped my arms in and adjusted what I could. The back hung open but I waited a moment before stepping out. I looked at myself in the mirror, noticing that my figure was still frail.

I made sure that the new scar on my arm was covered before opening the door. The woman looked at me in awe as I came out.

"I know that this is a horrid occasion, miss, but you look absolutely stunning."

"Thank you," I said softly. "Can you do the back?"

"Yes, of course." I turned away from her as I held my hair up. "Alright, there we go." I let go of my dark hair to face her.

"Thank you, erm-"

"Mary."

"Yes, thank you, Mary."

"Would you like some help with your hair?" I shook my head politely. "Alright. I will be outside the door when your are ready to go."

"Okay, thanks." She stepped outside and closed the door. "Ugh, what am I going to do with this mess?" I asked myself as I flopped my hair around. I grabbed what I guessed was Loki's old brush and pulled his hair out of it. Once I threw it away, I began to brush my hair. It was tangled, but not as much as it was when we escaped prison.

I decided not to do much to it except pull half of it into a ponytail.

"Alright," I said opening the door. "I'm ready."

"Wonderful," Mary said. "Here. Odin sent this as well." She handed me a necklace with an emerald on a gold chain. The stone stood out like Loki's eyes.

"It's beautiful. Thank you." I put it around my neck. The emerald hung down a bit lower than my collar bone.

I couldn't help but wonder why Odin sent me these things, but I didn't feel like thinking about it.

"It looks wonderful. Shall we be on our way?"

"Yeah, let's go." She began to lead me through the large palace. My stomach felt queasy as we walked. I looked at my feet as I clenched my stomach. Mary looked back at me and formed a look of concern. "Are you alright miss? Do we need to stop?"

"N-no. I'm fine."

"Right. It's not far from here." We continued to walk, but the feeling grew worse in my stomach.

"Mary," I said.

"Yes?" She stopped in front of me looking worried.

"I need to stop. Where can I—" I leaned against the wall and hurled up the little food I had in me. "I-I'm so sorry. I can clean it-" I interrupted myself again. I cupped my hand over my mouth.

"Oh dear. Don't worry, I'll get someone to clean this up." Another servant walked by and Mary called him over. "Can you clean this while I take her somewhere else?" He nodded and she took my hand. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

She took me to the servant's bathroom nearby. "I know it's not the nicest room, but it was the closest thing."

"No, no, it's fine. Thank you." After a few minutes of draining my stomach, we finally we able to be on our way again. "I'm sorry," I told her. "I guess I'm just nervous about this whole thing. It's just a lot to handle."

"I completely understand, miss. Do not apologize. These are difficult times. No one expects you to be perfectly okay."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She stopped in front of a pair of large doors.

"Here we are. I'm not really supposed to go in, but I'll be around if you need me." She began to walk away.

"Mary?" She paused and looked at me. "I just... Thank you." I stepped closer and gave her a hug. She hesitated, but I felt her hug me back.

"Anytime, miss. Anytime." I pulled away from her slowly.

"I'd better get in there. See you later?" Mary nodded before going off. "Okay, you can do this. Just sit through it. It won't be long." I opened the door to see Thor standing right in front of the opening.

"Lilith, you made it," he said. He held out his arm, and I looped mine through it. "Are you well? You're trembling."

"I'm fine. I'd just rather this be over sooner than later." We took our seats in the front as Odin stood to hush everyone.

"Thank you all for coming," he began. "We are here to mourn for my late son, Loki." I could already feel the pressure building behind my eyes. "I would like to invite my eldest son, Thor, to speak of his brother." Thor stood and took Odin's place.

"Loki was the greatest brother I could ask for. He was most mischievous. He often played tricks on me as a child. I wish I could say that I always loved his pranks, but then I'd be lying." He smiled sadly before pursing his lips. "When we became older, Loki changed. But so did I. I was arrogant, mislead. I could have listened to him, and all of this would be over. It never would have begun. But I was a fool, and it lead him down a darker path. Luckily, someone showed him the light. They came and taught him to love. I would like to invite Lady Lilith to speak. She showed my brother that there are better things in the world than just trouble. Lilith, if you would."

I rose from my seat and joined Thor at in front of the crowd. He stepped back, but stayed close.

"H-hello." I forced a nervous smile. I hated being in front of large groups of people. Do this for Loki, I told myself. "Um. When I first met Loki, he was pretty cold towards me. He wasn't the nicest man I knew, but he was the only one who was willing to keep me safe." I tried not to glare at Odin when I said that. "The more time we spent together, the closer we grew. I saw another side of him. A loving side. He vowed to protect me with his life, and he did just that. I wish I could have been faster that day. I could have... I could have..." I put my hand to my mouth as my eyes began to flood. "I'm sorry."

I lifted my skirt enough to run. I pushed my way through the crowd and ran through the golden doors.

"Lilith, wait!" I heard Thor call from somewhere behind me. I didn't care. I kept running. I had no idea where I was going, as long as it wasn't here. I ran, much like I had ran towards him. But I was never fast enough. I wasn't fast enough to save him, so why should I be fast enough to save myself?

Just get away from him. From everyone. You don't need them right now. They'll only make things worse.

I slammed Loki's bedroom door behind me as I rushed to a certain drawer. I jerked it open and pulled out the familiar piece of glass I hid there.

"Please forgive me," I said before I began.