"Welcome back," Thor said as I walked past him. "Are you alright?"

"What is this?" I asked as I showed him my hand.

"Well, Loki isn't quite what you thought he was."

"What does that mean?"

"Loki wasn't born an Asgardian." I furrowed my brow. "He was a frost giant. When he died, the magic making him appear otherwise was lost. Their skin is so cold that it burns. You held on longer than you should have. The healers did their best, but they couldn't remove the scars. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's my own fault. Besides, I'm fine with it."

"You are?"

"Yeah. It's a nice memento, I guess." Thor smiled.

"That's the spirit. I'll allow you to have some alone time."

"Okay, thank you."

"Goodbye, Lady Lilith."

"Bye, Thor."

I walked into Loki's room and shut the door. I had tried to make myself feel like I was fine, but being alone showed me that I couldn't fool myself forever. I looked at my hand in pain. For a moment, I felt the burning like a had that day.

"Damn it!" All of the sorrow I had stored away filled my head, surrounding me. I grabbed my dagger and threw it at the mirror. It landed right in the middle and caused it to shatter. The broken pieces fell all over the floor.

I stood up and ripped the covers off the bed. I threw the pillows across the room. I couldn't pretend anymore. I couldn't say that I was fine because I'd be lying. I meant what I'd said to Thor. I was broken. There was no fixing me now.

I yelled as I punched the wall. I heard it crack, but it wasn't the only thing that did. I held my hand as I fell to the floor. Pain seized it and I held on tight to it. "Idiot!" I yelled at myself.

The door burst open and Thor rushed in. "What's going on?" he demanded. I wouldn't meet his gaze. "Lilith? What's— What did you do?" I began to sob, probably sounding stupid.

"I can't. I just can't. I miss him too much. I need him. I... I just can't."

"Oh, Lilith." He sat beside me and took my hand. I flinched but I didn't stop him. "Come here." He pulled me closer to him. I rested my head on his lap as I cradled my hand.

"I'm sorry, Thor. I'm so, so sorry."

"Shh, I do not blame you for anything. It's alright."

"Now I have two messed up hands. And, oh lord, my wings are messed up, too. That's great. I messed up Thor. I could have done more. So much more."

"As could I. But now we have to learn to live with our mistakes. I shall never forgive myself for Loki's fate. I do not expect you to forgive yourself either. But know that I do not put any of the blame on your shoulders. I am here for you. I always will be. I just do not want you to hurt yourself. Please."

"Okay, I'll try. Th-thanks." I didn't get up yet, but he didn't make me. It felt nice to have someone embrace me, but it would never feel the same. Nothing would feel the same as it did when Loki held me. My eyes felt tired like they usually did after crying. I closed them and just lay there for a while. I was about to get up, but I fell asleep instead.

******

It took me a minute to realize I was lying under water. The strange thing was, I wasn't drowning. But I wasn't breathing either.

I pushed upwards, bringing myself out of the water. I sat up and brushed my hair back, but it wasn't wet. I stood, realizing that I wasn't wet at all. I furrowed my brows, not sure how that was possible.

I looked down at my hands. The one was still scarred, but the other wasn't broken in the slightest.

I felt like someone was there, watching me. "Hello?" I asked. There was nothing around me but an endless pool of water. "Is anyone there?"

I heard someone walking through the water and turned towards the sound. I was so shocked by who I saw that I fell back into the water without a splash.

"L-Loki?" He smiled and offered me his hand.

"Hello, my love." He pulled me up from the water. I noticed that his hand was shimmering and translucent. I looked at him to notice that all of him was the same way.

"How? How are you here?"

"Unfortunately, darling, it's a dream. I cannot see you in reality."

"Oh, right."

"But do not think for a second that I am just a figment of your mind. I am here with you. I will protect your mind from him as best as I can. I swear."

"I don't care about that right now. I just care about you. I miss you, Loki. I need you. I can't do this without you."

"I know and I'm sorry. I cannot come every night. This is the only time I can venture this far. But it was worth every minute of it."

"No, stay with me. Please, don't leave me alone," I begged him. He put his clear hand on my face.

"You are never alone, my love. I am always with you." He put a hand on my heart. "In here."

"That's the cheesiest thing you've ever said to me," I said through tears.

"I have to go, Lilith," he said sorrowfully.

"I know. I love you." I pulled his face in to mine and kissed him for as long as I could. We separated from one another and caught the other's glance.

"I love you, too," Loki said as a tear fell from his eye. "Goodbye, Lilith."

"Goodbye, Loki." I held onto his face as he slowly disappeared. "Goodbye." When he was gone, I fell to my knees. I rested my face in my hands as I continued to sob.

******

"Loki," I muttered as I sat up. Loki's bed had been made, and I was in it. I figured Thor must have put me there. I got out of the bed, noting that the glass shards were still on the floor. I carefully maneuvered my way around them, pulling my dagger from the wall as I passed by. I went into the bathroom and met my gaze in a mirror.

"All of this happened because I looked in the mirror too early in the morning." I slammed my fist into the mirror, shattering it like the other. I had forgotten I had done that before and held my hand with the other. "Shit! You fucking idiot!" I noticed that my hand had bandages on it now, but they weren't very supportive. Especially since I just rammed my hand into the wall.

I checked a cabinet and found some extra bandages. I removed the current ones and replaced them. This time, I wrapped it tighter so that my hand couldn't really move. I went back into the other part of the his room and collapsed on the bed. As I lay there, I looked to the glass shards on the floor. Something about them was so... tempting.

Don't, I told myself. He wouldn't want that. But I couldn't stop myself as I picked one of the pieces up. Stop. You promised. You told Thor you wouldn't.

You told him you would try,another voice said. You did try. You're just failing.

I took the shard and held it close to my arm. I pressed it to my skin. It was cold to the touch. I told myself no, but it was too late.