CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

“seungcheol...” jeonghan whispered to seungcheol.

seungcheol did not know what to do, seeing him mixed up all of his emotions. anger, which was then subsided with sadness, then worry, then it repeated.

all within the matter of seconds.

“go home jeonghan.” was all he could manage to say, just seeing his face caused seungcheol's mind to bring up the incident on replay.

seungcheol walked to his car door, but jeonghan blocked him. seungcheol bit the inside of his cheek and looked away from the blonde.

avoiding contact with his eyes.

“please, I just need to talk to you, ” jeonghan pleaded. each time their eyes suddenly met, he could not help the lump that would form in his throat.

“we don't need to talk about anything, it's not like you do much talking anyways.”

seungcheol's comment shot the younger boy right in the heart. the thought of him seeing the kiss made the tears he was holding back began to fight jeonghan.

as soon as seungcheol blurted that out, he regretted it. he should not feel bad, he didn't do anything wrong...so why does he?

“seungcheol, you don't even know what happened. why won't you just talk to me?” jeonghan sounded desperate and he knew that, but he didn't care. he loved him, of course he would be this way.

“what is there to say? you kissed your ex, the one who fucked you over by the way. what the fuck am I supposed to say jeonghan?” seungcheol's keys dangled as he moved his arms while he talked, frustrated with the boy standing in front of his car.

“HE KISSED ME. OH MY FUCKING GOD!!” jeonghan raised his voice, his breathe was crystal clear as he spoke.

“i don't care, when I got there you seemed comfortable enough with it,” seungcheol was now farther away from his car door.

both of the boys were upset, confused, and hurt. after experiencing something similar once, going through it again was like trauma. it had them trapped.

“you know what, I know that okay. I'm sorry that I'm a weak bitch but that will never change the fact that I fucking love YOU and only YOU.”

“okay, jeonghan you were the last person I expected this from. after what that asshole did to you, I was there. I gathered all your broken pieces and put you together. I went through hell and back with you,” seungcheol flung his keys to the ground and began to run a hand through his thick black hair.

“i really fell for you jeonghan, from day fucking one. yeah I get it, you've known him longer and been with him longer but I trusted you. and for what? so you can pull this?”

tears were streaming down their cheeks, the wind turning them cold. all their feelings were coming out now, and neither of them expected such pain to follow.

“seungcheol, please. I know I fucked up, but I love you so fucking much. I love you so much because you were able to put up with me, because you stayed by me. I need you...” jeonghan's voice cracked constantly throughout his confession.

“obviously not enough. not the way I need you. I don't know what to do jeonghan. I feel so lost...a-and...” he broke down, wiping his face with his whole hand.

their pain could be sensed from miles away, both of them were a complete mess. their hair going in different directions, their cheeks had tears streaming down them and their hearts withering away with each sentence.

silence engulfed them. what could possibly be said now?

“seungcheol...I know I made a mistake. I know you were hurt and it's killing me. I don't know what the fuck to do from here...” jeonghan's voice was now low as he spoke, his eyes glued to the top of seungcheol's black hair as he stared at his feet with his hands shoved inside his pockets.

the older boy picked up his car keys from the ground. he walked towards his car and unlocked his door.

“there's nothing we can do from here. let's just end—”

“no. I love you.” jeonghan quickly said, panicking.

“not enough...I'm sorry jeonghan...” their eyes met once more before seungcheol turned his back and shut the door.

jeonghan stood there, watching as the black jeep went further and further away. he took out his phone and dialed a couple of number.

“hello?”

“s-soonyoung...can you pick me u-up?”

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hello my name is Satan and I lowkey cried while writing this.... Btw ily all. !NOT PROOFREAD!