《Broken- A Harry Potter Fanfic》Chapter 28: Who Am I?

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Harry didn't know what was happening to him. He felt so many of those stupid feelings that only ruined lives. And they were all jumbled up, so he couldn't tell one emotion from the other. He was just one big, emotional mess.

He didn't leave his bed the entire day, he just sat and tried to think about everything. He thought about a certain blond more than he would have liked to admit. It was the thing between him and Hermione that confused him the most. It bothered him, and he just didn't know why. He was almost...jealous.

Harry shot up from where he was lying on the bed. His eyes were so wide, anyone watching might have thought they were going to explode. It couldn't be...he wouldn't...he couldn't...did he like Hermione?

It didn't make any sense. Sure, she was a beautiful girl, but he'd always thought their relationship was more of a brother-sister thing, like with Ginny. But if he felt like that, it was going to ruin everything, with both Hermione and Draco.

Harry had to keep telling himself to calm down as he walked to Gryffindor tower. He was just being crazy, he told himself. He knew, deep down, that Hermione wasn't the problem, but he continued anyway. Finally, a familiar portrait came into view, and it was only then that he realized he didn't have the password.

After much persuasion and flattery, the Fat Lady allowed the other Gryffindor in. He walked into the familiar common room, heads turning toward him. "Is Ginny here?" A small girl with chestnut colored hair, most likely a third year, nodded slowly.

"She's in her dorm."

"Does anyone mind getting her for me?" A different girl stood up, and left to get her. Harry looked around the room, before his eyes locked with someone who had been staring at Harry since he walked in. And suddenly Harry felt like the worst person to ever walk the planet. Even after he was walked out with Ginny, he couldn't shake the look on Dennis Creevy's face from his mind.

"Want to go outside?" Harry nodded, and the two began their walk. They walked in silence, though it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. Finally, they were outside, the fresh air immediately making the raven-haired boy feel more relaxed.

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The two stopped under a tree, Harry instantly sitting against it's trunk. "I think I like her," he said weakly, and a bit shakily.

"Who?" Ginny asked, taking a seat next to him.

"Hermione." He looked to see her reaction, and sure enough, pure shock was written across her face.

"Are you sure?" Harry shook his head.

"No, but she was telling me about how she likes Draco, and I got really jealous. That has to mean something, right?" Ginny paused, before realization struck her like a kick in the head.

"Harry, I don't think you like Hermione. And I also know for a fact that she does not like Draco."

"How do you know she doesn't?"

"Because she's dating Pansy." Harry's mouth dropped open, though he wasn't jealous anymore. In fact, he felt a whole lot better knowing she didn't like Draco.

"Then why would she say that?"

"My guess was to make you jealous, and it obviously worked."

" But why would she want me to feel jealous if- oh."

"Harry, when you're with Draco, do you feel like there are millions of butterflies flying around in your chest. Does your skin tingle at every touch? Does he make you smile, make you feel...alive?"

Harry gave a small, weak nod.

"Harry, I don't think you like Hermione," she repeated.

"Does this mean I'm gay?"

"I mean, not necessarily. Why don't you sleep on it, it's getting late. Tomorrow morning, I'll meet you back here, and we can talk about it some more, help you figure everything out." Harry nodded and pulled Ginny into a tight hug.

"Thank you."

"Anytime loser."

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Harry avoided Draco like the plague, knowing from experience he was far too awkward with his crushes. He never tried to make it obvious, but some how everyone always knew. Especially Hermione, who, in case you were wondering, was already getting suspicious. Harry knew just how to distract her though, and he could even get a good laugh out of it.

"Hey Hermione, how's it going?"

"Fine, I suppose. What's up?"

"Oh, well I talked to Draco. Apparently he fancies you too. Isn't that great, 'Mione?" It most certainly wasn't. How dare Draco be all straight and fancy Hermione.

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Hermione smiled, which Harry could tell was forced, now that he knew what he knew. "So tell me, what are your favourite things about Mr. Ferret?"

"Oh, um, his grey eyes. Yes, and the hair, very...blond. Not to mention that smirk." Hermione gave a nervous laugh. She was a fairly good actor, but coming up with stuff on the spot made things a million times harder.

"So...his looks. You didn't mention one single thing about his personality, just his physical features."

"Oh, did I? Well, he's quite funny. And very...smart?"

"You say that like it's a question. You don't think Draco's smart?"

"No, of course not! I mean yes, I was saying no to-" Hermione was cut off by Harry's laughter. "What's so funny?" she huffed, crossing her arms.

Once Harry had calmed down enough, he said," Draco, really Hermione? Why the heck would you pretend to like him, especially when you've got a girlfriend. By the way, I heard I was the last person in the entire school to find out, and I'm pretty sure I should have been the first."

Hermione stared at him, shocked. "How did you find out?"

"Doesn't matter," Harry smirked. "So, why'd you do it? You know you could just tell him you don't like him, I'm sure he won't be hurt too bad." Hermione mentally sighed with relief. This could still work.

"I suppose your right, but I would feel just awful, having broken two hearts in the past month."

"Don't worry, 'Mione. I don't think he's far enough gone to be absolutely heartbroken." He really, really hoped so. "A little hurt, yes. But not heartbroken."

Hermione was about to say something, when Harry suddenly jumped up. "What time is it?" Hermione cast a tempus charm. It was just after nine. "Shoot, I have to go, Hermione."

"What, where?"

"I'm meeting up with Ginny. See you later," he called as he ran out of the common room.

Harry was fifteen minutes late by the time he made it to the same spot as the day before. Ginny was there, sitting against the trunk as they had been the day before. "Thought you weren't gonna show," she said, smirking.

"And why's that?" Ginny thought about it, then shrugged.

"I really don't know." Harry laughed, Ginny joining in. "So, do you know yet?" Harry shook his head.

"No, I actually hadn't thought about it that much. Guess I forgot," he lied. Ginny sighed, rolling her eyes.

"You don't have to lie, it's me Harry."

"I couldn't sleep last night."

"You can't sleep any night."

"Fair point. But it was different this time. Usually I have to be doing things, so I don't fall asleep. Last night I just laid down in bed, not even the slightest bit tired, and my mind wouldn't shut up."

"Harry, I'm bisexual...I think."

"How did you know?"

"I don't know, I'm dating Luna, so obviously I like girls. But I still think guys are hot, and I would still date them if Luna and I didn't work out. I don't really know if that counts as bi, but I'm definitely not lesbian. I guess I could be pansexual...or maybe-"

"Alright," Harry laughed, "I think I get it. But how do I know who I am?"

"Harry, I'm not an expert on the LGBTQ+ Community just because I'm apart of it. I really don't know." Harry let out a long, dramatic sigh.

"It's cool. Just don't like being confused."

"I get that. Come on, we better get to our classes before we're late." Ginny stood up, and held out a hand, which Harry took. She pulled him up, and he dusted off his robes, even though there probably wasn't anything on them. Another hug, and the two went their separate ways, Ginny to the greenhouses, and Harry back towards the castle.

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It was a day later that it happened. He had just been walking down the corridor. Just peacefully walking, not a care in the world. Ok, so that was a lie. He was tired, hungry, confused, guilty, depressed, and much more, but that isn't what this is about. He had been walking, and he just knew.

He didn't know how, or why it was then that it clicked, it just did. And the smile on Harry's face was big, bright, and it wasn't going anywhere.

Because Harry was bi. Harry James Potter was The Bi Who Lived. And he didn't try to deny it, not even a little. He welcomed it, with open arms, because this was who he was.

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