"How's your hangout, kid?"

"Well it's fine. Time flew. My first time as well."

"First time, and you're 18?! Goodness gracious, how did you spend your first years of adolescence?"

"Living and contemplating life alone, but everyone has to have their firsts right?"

"Heh, got a point there, I take back my words."

That was Aka and I having yet another afternoon talk at her mochi store back at the apartments. We took a seat at the front, with the other three tables occupied by people as they're having the time of their lives with Aka's legendary cuisine consisting of mochi and hot drinks to serve.

It was around 3 o'clock in the afternoon. After having my "errands" at the City Square with that restaurant that I can't get fed up on, I went home. It was the same route back and of course, I went on to Autumn Street again that had all of those fancy big trees. Going back there the second time, it was much windier than it was us Ala-chan walking earlier in the morning, with lots of leaves falling off from the breezy wind. Surprisingly enough, I memorized the route that Ala-chan and I took earlier, just going in reverse this time.

I say surprising, because I really have bad short-term memory. But I guess if things in your life had an impact on you, it might be one of the greatest memories ever in mind.

"Huh, never saw the shop with the tables full here inside, well apart from us."

"It's simple common sense, today's a holiday, so almost everyone has the freedom to roam around the city. That means the freedom of ever finding this mochi store around. I bet the youth is having the cheers and fun of today." She gladly sipped on her coffee.

Well, only one group in one of three tables had laptops and paperworks, so they're definitely having the time of their academics, not their youth—well unless if stressing on schoolwork is part of their youth.

"Well kid, tell me more about your hangout earlier. As an adult, it's great to reminisce about my youth again—you can't do anything of that much when you're older..." Aka placed down her mug, and lied on her arms crossed on the table, looking up towards me.

"Hmm, Ala-chan and I took a walk in Autumn Street just the uphill past our apartments, then I finally met Ala-chan's group, and us four had some sort of brunch in this burrito/taco restaurant, then we just went the craze on window shopping in the Shopping District near City Square."

"Ah, it's the same usual hangouts I used to have back in the day, perfectly normal for 'ya then! Have a picture or something?"

Without a thought, I immediately skimmed through our group conversation on my phone and showed her the picture, orienting my phone in landscape though.

"Awh, you cute kiddielets! And-" Aka burst into a chuckle, "Oh come on Akko, at least put a smile when you pose. 'Ya look like one of those chubby kids posing dead with a balloon next to a restaurant mascot or something"

"Grr.." I hastily closed my cellphone, back into my pockets.

"Oh hey, no need to be angry, it's you after all-Anyways, who's this short chick beside you?"

"That's Tomo, but we literally had like less than 50 words of cumulative conversation the whole day. She's dead silent to me except to Ala-chan and Miko over there."

"Ehhh that's odd, probably jealous that you just got in their group," She swayed her hand back and forth in the air, "No worries, that'll change or somethin' the more mutual you get with those three. Dang, was about to say you two look good together."

Despite calling Aka the one who possesses the "womanly of all women" demeanor (Miko may be second, but she might probably take her title soon), she engages in spicy talks with me, like a cupid on the loose; a love insurance advisor.

"Not in a million timelines will we ever get together with that silent-hill attitude of hers", crossed my hands.

"That's what they all say, but it depends on how you'll take your life, boy."

Aka gave me a pat in the shoulder.

To be honest, I have no direction in my life whatsoever.

"..."

"Hey hey, what's with the bad weather you've got there? Thought 'ya had fun earlier..."

I'm surprised she can tell how I feel despite my face glued in place.

"Nothing, just bothered by the fact that I have been carrying nothing up to this point, instead I have let the world unconsciously take the best of me."

"Ah I see where you're coming from, don't tell me you were bothered by our talk yesterday, is that it?"

"..."

I staggered in silence. But wow, she has quite a sharp memory, even remembers the very bits of conversation she had with people.

She sighed in frustration, "Well let me ask you again kid, do you simply follow the world or defend your existence? You're free of whether or not to answer—pondering your mind for that is enough."

I still can't make big decisions for myself, even just a tiny little bit, there's hindrance awaiting at the end of the tunnel. It's not just that I possess severe indecisiveness, coupled with that is fear and guilt. I know, this is just the decision. It doesn't have the actual outcome of the decisions that I made.

She poked my forehead with an instant flick of her fingers, "Hey calm down, you're zapping your eyes everywhere." and she sighed. "I'll be catering to my customers, you stay put there."

Aka saw two groups in their two respective tables that called her attention. She stood up from her seat and went away for a while; taking care of the bills, cleaning the table, and cleaning the glasses and dishes that were on top of the trays on the back of the shop, the Mochi Control room.

Come to think of it, I suddenly had the incentive to decide to help Aka's work here, like she must be stressful catering a full shop on single-player mode—not even hiring an assistant to her shop. Like you know, it's a generally positive decision to help people. But it just so happens that I cannot move forward in deciding.

In the end, I was a frozen entity, while Aka's doing all the work, and here I am just waiting for her to finish her remaining work.

After the two groups of people had their little chatter as their tables were already squeaky clean, they left the store one by one. The only remaining group in the store were the guys with laptops and paperwork that we mentioned earlier.

A couple of minutes passed, and Aka walked back to this direction whilst fixing her messy apron, she sat back down on her chair.

"Have 'ya answered my question or come to conclusions?"

"..." Even though I had an answer in mind, it's still hindering for me to decide if saying it to her would make it anywhere better or worse.

"Sigh. Let me make it lighter for you, 'dunno if you're pressured to decide to spit it out to me, but you have the right to remain silent at certain times. It's okay if you'll ruminate about it in your mind for a little while, but don't make it last there a lot longer or you'll just start hurting yourself."

"Right to remain silent—isn't that akin to right against self-incrimination, you know in an ongoing political courtroom where the witness can utter 'right to self-incrimination' if they don't feel like saying something?"

"Well.. it depends on the jurisdiction but for us here, the witness has the right to do that. It has a twist, you invoke your right if you feel like it violates your rights to an incriminatory question, or in layman's terms, if you feel like it can hurt you or your other wingmen. Here's the catch, you can't keep saying "I invoke my right" the whole hearing, because it will be used against you should the evidence be a counter to your claims."

Damn, Aka is not only suited to be a philosopher, but politics? Man, we should vote for Aka as senator!

"But anyways," She took a deep sip of her coffee until the whole mug was empty, "Politics aside, may I ask if you were just plain forced to go on your hangout earlier? Not asking maliciously or something."

"Well yeah, I've been forced by Ala-chan and I thought, well I had no choice."

"Forced? You could've simply denied the offer. Well not mad about you having fun in your hangout earlier 'cuz you had your time of your life, aye? But let me be real honest with 'ya kid, you keep on agreeing without sympathizing with yourself."

Agreeing without sympathizing.

I did have a sentimental talk with Ala-chan last night where I bursted my feelings without even knowing, but I did remember one line that I say along those talks,

I think I let the world flow for me.

Perhaps Aka added a definition for that one, which that I agree without sympathizing. I go with the flow of life and get carried away by people.

"Well, it's not that I didn't have the guts to deny, I kept on telling her that I'm not in any interest to hang out with her friends, but she kept on pestering me to do so for a very long time. It's never-ending, like she never gets tired of asking me."

It's like I don't have any right to do so, is want I wanted to say further.

It's unfair how I am viewed as inferior to the general society

It's as if I'm powerless right from the start. Like I don't have any right for myself to stand and voice out for myself that I am violated or in need of help.

"That's girls for 'ya Akko, they mingle, get curious, chatter all over the place. Fortunately, not every girl is like that, but that's generally speaking. Don't worry, I get where 'ya coming from, it's a really unfair world we're living in. But what I'm concerned about is you, you need to fight for yourself, decide for yourself, live for yourself"

"..." I was lost again in thought.

Aka suddenly (and seriously) fixed her ponytail by retying it again with her white scrunchie, "Okay Akko, wouldn't you mind eating the last mochi on your plate right now?"

I nodded and without question, munched on the said mochi.

"If you wouldn't be kinder enough, can you get the spreadsheets and calculator here?"

I went to the Mochi Control room on the back, looked for the spreadsheets and calculator, grabbed them, and walked back to our table and dropped the things off in front of Aka. By the time I got back, the group at the other table with their laptops and paperworks were already packing their stuff up, presumably calling it a day of their meeting.

"Mhm, thanks a lot Akko, also can you clean up the table over there?" Aka pointed to the table where the group I mentioned sat on.

Again without question, I went over to the table and gathered all the leftover plates and mugs onto the tray. Then going back to the Mochi Control room to wash the leftovers. After a couple of minutes of doing that, I went back to our table and sat.

"So Akko, how do you feel right now?"

I let out a deep sigh, "Stressed and kind of overworked."

"Well, I can see that you're tired and all, but you didn't say a word, so I assumed you're up for the job. See? You do agree without sympathizing or putting yourself in front first."

...

Being lectured by someone is as if you committed a serious crime and you were presented in the International Criminal Court. I know for all intents and purposes, it's for your own good. But still, the gut feeling of experiencing something like this just gives me the sheer guilt of harming humanity.

It's that hard and crushing feeling, thinking to yourself you know everything and you have everything under control, but in the end, you're just a mere mortal being who still has mistakes to encounter and things yet to know.

"You know kid, you can intercept anything if you feel like it needs justification. The world isn't a binary warfare where you get condemned immediately for butting in your concern. They need to hear your side first before judging. Like earlier, you could've told me that 'It's your job, you should be doing this' because this is my shop. It's okay kid, you got no problem just yet. If you do good things, there's no problem at all. If you do things that are mutual and understood, no problem as well."

"Alright, I'll take note of that." Hmm, I think we're on the same wavelength, "But god forbid, prejudice is the most hated sin that I got from society."

Aka gave a warm chuckle before lighting up her vape again and putting it on her mouth, "Yeah, we keep on saying 'don't judge a book by its cover', yet we do that at sheer hindsight. We keep on advocating for a greener world, yet less than a percent of advocates actually took it seriously. Our teachers at middle school would always quiet us down but we made our classroom noisier."

People really think the other way around, huh?

"Well, I'll be taking some afternoon walks around here, thanks for the talk Aka."

"No problemo! As always, 'ya neighbor's here if you need some slack."

Both of us stood up from our chairs, as Aka placed our leftovers at the tray and walked to the back of the store, while I exited the mochi store. The bright aggressive rays of the sun hit the front of the store as the day's reaching its hottest. By the way, is it just me or did Aka's accent get a little deeper and more pronounced than it was yesterday? I mean she does drink soju, a kind of alcoholic drink, at random times of day, but definitely not when she's working.

"What should I do?"

It's a hot lazy afternoon, but it's tiring to slack off back at my room. I figured I just wasted precious time if I slept the whole hot afternoon even though it's good in the feeling (or what you call a siesta), but there's something trickling me to do something.

"Hmm, you know what, I'll be hitting up on the arcade down the block."

Oh right, I do talk to myself sometimes.

Quick recap, when I go down the stairs of the apartment. On weekdays, I head straight for university, just now, I head right on the direction towards the City Square and that fancy Autumn Street with windy trees and finally, heading to the left is the direction to the train station for Ruruteru. That's where I first dropped off in this city before moving into this apartment. By that description, yes the apartment is strategically located on a T-junction intersection.

I took the "left" route from the apartment. I rarely ever walk in this direction from here.

Walking around these parts, I was wondering if any of my so-called friends would show up. But nah, I'd say they must've met back up at the City Square going about in their lives as girls: eating and shopping. Well, I figured that it's somewhat improbable that any of those three would show up in this route. From my judgement, it seems like any of their interests are absent here, instead we have traditional restaurants here, a mini Silicon Valley for nerds like me, the arcade, and many more irrelevant recreational sites.

Speaking of those three, I'm somewhat bothered that Tomo is still in my head. She's probably the person who I could dub "The Most Mysterious Person I Met." We just met, but on the get-go she already has a stark and menacing glare on me, as if I have killed her parents or something.

And not to mention, her silence is really killing me off.

On the other hand, Miko is the most reserved, behaved, and endowed woman of the three. Though at the same time, I have a gut feeling she's not the type to have jokes with-light jokes sure, but she might be the type that doesn't get comedy for the most part. Even though she has an uplifting character, I bet that deep inside, she is one hell serious of a person.

It's nice that we share a couple of interests.

And lastly, Ala-chan whose womanly demeanor is blurred by a tomboyish and happy-go-lucky attitude. She's the loudest and roughest of the three, though she's somewhat of a life-giver, so I'll credit her for that.

All of those different contrasting attitudes, and yet we live in a small world. Let that sink in for a moment.

And there's me, one who you could call fairly average, but with problems that are far more average.

"Agreeing without sympathizing, huh?"

Mumbling that line from Aka, it is something I wouldn't forget, including the talk we had earlier.

But it's kind of messed up that even though I know every corner and knowledge of the problem, I still can't get myself to make up a resolve for it.

Instead, I'm a spectator of my misery.

It's like a TV game show; it looks easier to the eye, but actually playing it is darn difficult. But hey, watching it doesn't make you poor or fall yourself to death. That sums it up for me I'd say.

But I'm trying.

I'm trying to prove that I'm not inferior to anyone.

⁂

At last, I arrived at the arcade. If you're curious to know how long of a walk that is, it is one-thirds the distance of the way to university.

It's the modern age, considering that there are very few people in the arcade, like there's no time of day, day in a week, or any point in a year where people would skyrocket around these premises. It's a stable yet stale business. I'm quite surprised that it can still operate and not get into a financial loss.

This isn't just any arcade however, it's a really retro arcade. It has these short arcade machines that are lined up in a row with those metal stools, and tall arcade machines that's about as tall as a person, with thick screens to the point you can line up quarters there for people who line up in a busy arcade machine. Add to that with black walls, and a charcoal-colored rug with a fuzzy '80s design with shapes of different color, and most of all, neon-colored lights!

Anyway, I headed to the cubicles of Street Fighter II, it's one of those cubicles that have two machines facing outwards, so it's like one machine altogether where a two-player match is possible.

Dragging the metal stool out to sit, and back in, I inserted a quarter into the machine. Oh boy, time to kill some time with Street Fighter!

CHOOSE YOUR FIGHTER:

Of course, I always pick Guile since he's my favorite bud to play with. His super combo always gives me that awesome kind of feeling.

Finally loading in the fun as I picked quite a difficult round this time for the computer opponent (or CPU), since I'm the only one in this duo-cubicle playing right now.

"Hold Left, Right, Punch... Up Up, Kick, Punch"

It was me mumbling the moves that I make while defeating this CPU.

"Oh shoot, this difficulty is really difficult, the hell?"

It was wrong of me to advance two difficulties when I've been playing around the lower ones for essentially my whole childhood.

Look, my HP is literally a few horizontal left—Oh wait time for my super combo!

"Hold 6 o'clock, acute angle, kick!"

Damn it, what was I mumbling? Come to think of it, how do I memorize how to move the joystick back in the days—and I mean when I was a kid?!

But anyways, the CPU has proclaimed its defeat despite me having a few pixels of HP left, even though they have a bunch of HP.

Even though this is just a puny little arcade game, there's a little lesson that can be picked up from here. First is that even though you're only left with tiny HP left, you still have to give it your best shot and not let your guard down because who knows, maybe you'll actually win with careful defense and offense. Second is related to the first, and that it applies that you shouldn't let your guard down when your opponent looks like they're going to get defeated. Why? Life is an inevitable timeline, that's why.