The bed I'm on is cold.

Correction, the floor I'm on is cold.

No blankets or anything.

I sit up and realize where I am.

I'm back in the cell.

My head fucking hurts like a bitch. It's pounding, actually. I crawl over to the glass wall and try and look through it, letting my eyes adjust as I take a scan around.

There's a red head on a chair in the corner, head resting on her hand. Nat.

She looks peaceful, content, happily asleep. I shouldn't wake her. Not after everything I put them through. I remember it all, them seeing me in pain, me hurting them, attacking Natasha...hurting my own brother...

Wanda.

I broke her. She tried so hard, she was the one fighting for me more than anyone, trying to protect my mind and thoughts. And I hurt her, multiple times. How the hell am I supposed to face her now?

"You're awake."

My head shoots up to see Nat standing now, walking closer to the cell. I stumble back, holding my hands up in warning.

"Stop. Don't come closer."

My fear overtakes me. I can't hurt anyone else. I can't stand to see anyone in more pain because of me. It hurts too much.

Her feet stop mid movement, then observe me with curious eyes, I can basically see the gears turning in her head as she weighs her thoughts. Then her arms cross over her chest in curiosity.

"Which Y/N am I talking to?"

When she sees my horrified expression, fearful and untrusting of my own thoughts and power, she sighs, walking closer.

"I'm s-sorry," I hang my head as I collapse to my knees, not being able to control my mind. I can still feel the evil in me, what Hydra placed, it's there but from what I presume Wanda did, it's suppressed for the time being.

"It wasn't you. I'm going to get Tony and" "NO!" I cry and put my hand against the glass, still trying to gather my thoughts.

"Don't leave me."

I didn't realize how desperate I sounded until I felt my own tears dripping from my face, onto the cell floor. I can feel Nat's concern, I can hear things around me. Thoughts. They're loud, almost screaming at me. I can hear her thinking of what to do, remembering how I attacked her, remembering how hurt she was seeing Wanda and I getting closer, the pain she felt seeing me being tortured, the longing she felt when I was gone. I can hear and see it all.

I close my eyes and try to stop, I don't want to intrude on her thoughts but all I feel right now is this power, it's like I can't control it. Something changed. Whatever Hydra did, it changed. All of me.

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Hey! Look at me, Y/N."

I lift my gaze up to meet Nat's and she just smiles at me gently, her face soft and calm, welcoming and nurturing. The same way I remember her. Under the hard surface is Natasha's soft side. Her caring side, the side where she won't let anyone or anything hurt the people she cares for.

"H-how long? Was I out?"

She opens her mouth but closes it again, unsure of whether or not she should tell me. But I just stare at her impatiently, my worry growing by the second. She seems to notice this, for she sighs.

"A few weeks. We weren't sure when you'd wake up. Wanda she...she forced your memories back into you. It did a lot to your mind, caused a lot of pain and pressure on you. Your brain shut down. We've been checking you every day, tracking your progress."

Nodding slowly, I stand up and look around, suddenly curious of where everyone is. Nat must notice this because she chuckles.

"Only you would want a social hour the second after waking up after being a killing machine. They'll be back soon. They're on a mission."

"Gotcha."

We spend the next few hours just sitting, asking questions while Nat explains to me everything that has gone on. That Tony has been on a man hunt for Zemo and all of Hydra, Steve joining him without question, them finding Bucky to help them. Nat explains the Winter Soldier Program to me, how she broke the coding to find the words, but didn't get far because no one can find Bucky, the original Winter Soldier.

"So where does that leave me?"

Nat opens her mouth to speak but our time is cut short by feet coming down the hall. Everyone rushes inside, Tony appearing first and smiling gently at me before masking it in front of the team, clearing his throat.

"First question, any of us look like we'd make a nice shish kabob?"

That's the brother I know and love.

"I mean if Thor was here I'd say yes. All that god meat has to be worth something, right? You on the other hand, now that's just skin and bone. Not much of a meal."

His lips pull up into a smile as he opens the cell, walking in to give me a tight and much awaiting hug. I allow him to hold me for a while longer, letting him release his hidden emotions before he throws his walls back up in front of his teammates. It's a nice few moments, moments I don't get often with my big brother.

"Y/N, good to have you back."

I nod at Bruce, then Clint, until I see Steve hanging behind.

I make my way over to him and notice his gaze, avoiding me.

"Captain."

"I'm so sorry. I promised Wanda that I would-" "It was my decision. You couldn't have stopped me. None of you could. I did what I had to in order to protect my family. No matter what. Whatever it takes." Nat lifts her head at this, soft yet relieved tears filling up her eyes as she nods respectfully at me before turning away to wipe them.

My attention returns to Steve Rogers, who is now smiling at me with pride.

"I'm just glad to be back," I whisper and he nods, pulling me into a hug.

"Good to have you back Y/N."

Everyone has their moments of reconciling with me until we hear someone else making their way over. We turn our gazes to see the red head approaching. She has a cut on her forehead and empty eyes. Before she notices me I try to read what she's thinking but all I can see and feel is emptiness, like she's truly been torn apart.

By me.

"You're awake," her voice is flat, unsure of how she should feel. She thinks I'm still a Winter Soldier.

"That I am. And I don't feel the incessant need to rip your head off, so...I'd say that's a plus."

I notice a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth but she tucks her lips and nods instead.

"Good to know."

"Yeah," my breath releases slowly, knowing that I have so much more to say to her but I don't get the chance because Tony tugs me out of the doors, explaining that him, Bruce and Helen need to check me, make sure I'm not still the "axe murderer" as Tony so kindly put it.

I steal one last look at my previous cell, seeing Nat and Wanda watching me leave.

They offer me small encouraging smiles before they are out of sight.

__

A/N:

I like reading Wanda's lines with her Sokovian accent so just a little tip to make this more enjoyable. I know we are all simps for that accent in just itself.